martin-graupner Reviews

Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

Embarrassing chauvinistic clichés and stupid jokes.

[3/10 · 29 May 2015]

Story, characters and jokes are from some narration scrapbook.

But it contents creepy cultural clichés and a quite dangerous positivization of obesity. This is a serious sickness! Overweight people have a much shorter life! What crap is this flick teaching young girls? Only for this the movie should be rated +18.

What is really embarrassing though is the presentation of the Germans. Everything is wrong with that picture. Fascistoid costumes and appearances plus: None of them is original German. It is so frustrating that US movie productions quite always use people who pretend to speak German, but they speak with a clear foreign accent. -- Yes, we are seeing your cultural garbage in English. And yes, we feel ashamed for who ever produced this.

Furious 7 (2015)

Seriously: Don't!

[1/10 · 5 April 2015]

I was looking forward seeing this movie. Simply because I enjoy action flicks sometimes -- because of the simplicity. But the dialogues are so astoundingly bad that I had to throw up after 9 minutes. Literally. Well, 10 minutes rest and I gave it another try. I have seen a short, very unrealistic action sequence (if Force still is the factor of mass and acceleration, the two guys must have been killed each other 3 times in 1 minute) in which 2 people finally survived an explosion plus the resulting fall of about 5 meters. Through glass of course. Followed by a cliché scene in which we learn about the pregnancy of another character. This. Is. So. Wow. Nooooo!!! What the hell??? Do it as I did: don't see it at all. These were the worst first 15 minutest of an action movie that I will ever see.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Poor recipe

[5/10 · 7 March 2015]

There is not a piece of a narration in Jupiter Ascending with the potential to fascinate or surprise or to astonish. And that alone is very saddening.

The flick is build around CGI and costumes and a very poor copy of the Matrix plot: A no one is chosen to save the world and dives, like Alice in the rabbit hole, in an invisible universe.

Unfortunately under this narrative DNA is only an epically bad written repetitive pattern of Jupiter being saved that you don't care what happens, because you know for sure, she will be saved again. You get a feeling for the constructiveness of every bit of tension, and not in the good way. You are literally ripped out of the fiction. But the movie is not that bad. It is worse. The viewer gets bored by the visible intention to create a universe for a franchise by over-explaining the most uninteresting crap, tried to get relieved from this tension desert by foreseeable love and action jerk.

176 Million Dollars to make THIS is embarrassing.

The Passage (2007)

Frightening is only the writing, not what's written

[1/10 · 25 February 2015]

This flick is not only bad, it is actually sad and full of horrible mistakes.

The best thing in this movie is not Stephen Dorff, it is the setting. Morocco is a beautiful country and when you got no idea about how the story turns, it's like an entertaining love story that is the foundation for depicting this beauty and it's people --with all their existing resentments and also the nice sides. That's okay with me. I would have also accepted the B-movie style, because of it's authenticity. But when you start not liking what you have to endure, you realize about the silly sound, the boring lightning, the crappy cut, the poor characters, the lack of creativity in every aspect of the production.

The turn in the narration tears down everything that has been build up before, how cheap it ever was. Artificialy creates -- no, conjures up -- a thriller-like plot, that is not only badly written, terribly composed, but also embarrassing in it's stereotypes. If that is not enough, it explains us, in the very end, how those little pieces shall belong together -- that's the moment when you pull your blanket over your head and whisper: »No. No. No. No. Please. No.« I wished I would have turned this off before the writer totally f/ this up.

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Content free D-Day entertainment

[8/10 · 7 June 2014]

Edge of Tomorrow sells itself as D-Day celebration movie. Tom Cruise finds himself in a Groundhog Day time loop to land on a beach where everyone gets unexpectedly slaughtered by a superior (hello rules of dramatics) alien race. Those aliens look pretty familiar: somehow they seem copy/pasted from Matrix sentinels (nothing to bother too much about).

Beside the textbook drama, besides the high quality CGI, the movie is empty and predictable. Do not expect deep content. This is pure entertainment and nothing to think about but from the top to the bottom of your popcorn bag. Therefore: If you like Sci-Fi, if you like entertainment, if you like CGI: This flick is yours.

Soldier of Destiny (2012)

Everything seemed simple, but okay ... until

[1/10 · 11 March 2014]

until the two soldiers (whose English dialogues were English synchronized) encounter a car bomb. One of them unfortunately steps on a close IED. Guess, who wakes up: the one who stepped on the explosive device in the ground. Anyhow he got rid of his jacket and helmet before waking up. The rest of his body, including his legs, are pretty fine. But the one who didn't step on the hidden bomb seems dead (disappeared). If the explosion of the IED released the car bomb, what seems to be the case (implied by a huge crater), both of them MUST be not only dead, but burned to ashes. I mean, this movie is a joke. If a guy who steps on a bomb, what releases an even bigger bomb, ends with 2 plasters in his face and one on his hand (literally!), this movie is a stupid prank. I made it to minute 28. If I made it any further I sh/ myself.

RoboCop (2014)

Don't compare with the original.

[8/10 · 14 February 2014]

I love Paul Verhoeven's RoboCop from 1987 (which remains iconic) and I usually don't like reboots. But watching the new one I never got rid of the feeling, that the remake is worth it. It is a whole new interpretation, that sets the focus on the topics of our time: robots, drones, the human aspect behind the technology, media critics, war propaganda. I felt, the movie has a mission to enlighten people and I liked that. It became even more obvious how much the RoboCop story exists within the topos of Frankenstein which is the story about the human devilment and the lack of respect of life. That's why Padilha gives Murphy more of a face, a life and feelings.

Beside that the pictures, the sound, the music is pretty contemporary. You probably have to make some compromises today to get the millions to get the flick done. It won't become iconic, but it's the right time for the right message in the right movie.

Reasonable Doubt (2014)

Better see Skyline again!

[4/10 · 19 January 2014]

From about minute 1 the story is totally predictable, nothing surprises at all. This would not be so bad, if the story WANTS WANTS WANTS to surprise. But there is not one seductive trace that makes you not keep staring on the solution of every single line of suspense. This story has no power, no energy, no soul, no fire. Some 12 year old kids would probably write a better one. The only thing that really surprises is that good actors like Samuel L. Jackson are playing in this piece of crap.

What else can one say about this, besides the fact that the music kind of levels with one of the worst dramas I've seen in months?!

Don't even think of seeing this movie.

25th Hour (2002)

Nice idea that didn't hit the point in 135 min.

[7/10 · 29 October 2012]

I'm always surprised what film makers can put into like 135 minutes. What exactly happens? An end 30 year old has to go to jail for 7 years. He spends some time with his friends, before he leaves. That's it. 135 minutes. I am sorry, I am no big fan of quick action jump and run and deads everywhere no one remembers this crap in a couple of years stuff. But despite this movie was not bad, it just didn't hit point. A nice game and no goals. The mirror scene felt like: now something cool is happening, more of that anger please, but no. Just a short scene.

Anyway: you have the time, and you are curious, then give it a try. You wanna teach your kids about not doing crimes? Show them. The actors are pretty cool and people thinking very different about this. You won't say someone stole you two hours of your life in the end. But don't complain about the plot, cause I told ya :P

The Woman (I) (2011)

A great intellectual splatter movie

[8/10 · 27 November 2011]

The movie reminds me pretty much in Franz Kafka, who showed the defects of centralistic societies as allegories. We see in some parts a very exaggerated version of a reality that is defined by the power of man. And that what we call civilization is corrupted by ›power‹ in all it's places and institutions. But not only the men are corrupted. Women are too. And this saves the movie for me, that we can see right that. The movie is not superficially depicting a strange gender dichotomy. It is very much differentiating one woman and an other. And moreover it shows clearly, that, what ever we are, man or woman, we are a product of our environment. If that is sick and corrupted, we very likely become too. We are not free to decide. The ›Woman‹, who is not from civilization, but from nature is the non corrupted human, who does not see men and women. Who judges everyone the same. (Even though the actors, the pictures and the soundtrack are great, minus 2 continuity points (#1 her armpits are shaved, #2 she got a knife.)

Last Ride (2009)

›perfect world‹ with an Australian perspective

[7/10 · 4 July 2011]

a silent, melancholic movie about father and son who gonna cope with their own special reality and history. these two guys, who cannot avoid getting in trouble again and again, because of the fathers violent character. we only know some of the shadows of his past and the reasons behind his violence. that's enjoyable enough to remain in the frontiers of melancholy. the movie tells -- literally, like at the campfire -- about the wounds that are reason and those who can be results.

anyway, the pictures don't surprise. we see nothing new. especially, if we have already seen ›perfect world‹. and if we have seen widescreen documentations about the terrific Australian landscape.

Siren (III) (2010)

a horror movie?

[1/10 · 2 July 2011]

the only thing, that is really horrifying is the dialogs. people constantly shouting their names, nonstop looking for each other. nothing happens in this movie but the waste of time. after 20 minutes, you think: »please, get killed. now! o my gosh, it's another 60 minutes left.«

if someone is interested in mythology, i recommend homers odyssee as a book. this movie isn't even a modern interpretation of it. everything is superficial. no connection but the idea of people who got influenced by the singing of sirens. in the myth it's not only one siren and they sing to get seamen to shipwreck. here, the reason is different. in fact, the movie combines the myth of sirens with the myth of circe. that's, why the siren's name is silka, 'cause it sounds like, without meaning it. in the odyssee these are completely different stories. this is just senseless eclecticism. poorly made.

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

ways too underrated

[10/10 · 16 April 2011]

the fourth part of the alien saga belongs to the most underrated sci-fi- movies. obviously, it got this sequel stigma, but under this surface is more then just a sequel. there is a brilliant storyline that deals with philosophic matters without being too ... intellectual. the movie negotiates human existence: we see different ›concepts‹ or versions of the human being. man, clone, robot, the crossbreed of man and alien. man is not gonna earn a right to survive. he is presented as the most inhuman of these versions. and its the robot and the clone, that gonna save the earth from the alien. the movie doesn't answer this question and it doesn't have to. the question leaves a bad taste (in a very good way), thats worth 10 points. truly, the movie is not as dark as the previous parts. i see it as an advantage, that its not gonna copy the darkness. that it de-gigers the appearance of aliens, without getting rid of a special, still remaining feeling of imprisonment and exoticism.

Rare Exports (2010)

weak in some details, satisfying idea.

[7/10 · 7 January 2011]

unfortunately the idea of this film is pretty satisfying on the one hand but the storytelling is not consistent enough. the parts don't fit very well together. there were too many questions for me, that haven't been answered. too many details remained unclear. too much deus-ex-machina kind of pushing things forward finally. and moreover, the picture could be -- for my taste -- be a bit darker. and -- to make the specific turn plausible -- the persons and there behavior could be even more absurd. it is this switch of the mood, that is (a little!) disturbing -- so that i could not get rid of the feeling, that the authors wanted to be successful with this multiple genre kind of story telling and switched from horror to comedy. that didn't work! it really didn't. the switch should stay on a logical base. there's none. the switch remains surficial.

anyway, the film is not bad. it's a nice idea, placed in a great landscape. the actors are funny. you can give it a chance.