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Ask the StoryBots (2016)
A family favorite.
We've been watching story bots with our 4 year old since he was 2. He still loves it two years later, and out of everything he watches, Storybots never gets old or boring. Ofr him or us Its a fantastic show with amazingly cool music and subjects for kids. Its intelligent but well pitched for toddlers. Very highly recommended. Lets hope they make more.
Confessions of a Time Traveler - The Man from 3036 (2020)
What a load of lockdown rubbish. Irresponsible "film making".
I do believe that there are people in this world who have a low enough intelligence quota to actually think this is real. Hell, a friend of mines girlfriend thought the daily Onion was a real news site. But that kind of proves the point I am trying to make. Material like this preys on the feeble minded and easily influenced, and could cause a good deal of anxiety amongst those who cant see through the BS. This film is presented as reality, the only "face" indication I have as to its falseness is the fact that it is not listed as a "documentary" .
I feel It is in this case misleading and deceptive and the film makers should be ashamed of themselves if they intended anyone to believe this. If they did not intend anyone to believe this then what point does it serve? Is it indirectly trying to force the "our planet is dying" message through the premise of fear? Or is it even more superficial than that?
Just another shallow conspiracy story that is adding to this world of deception and fake news. Proliferating declining mental health and distrust within our society. I'm not saying all conspiracy theories are BS. But you will need a lot more than a poor actor wearing a covid mask to fool me. What a load of lockdown rubbish. These guys must have been really bored.
Dolittle (2020)
Good Family Fun
I really think this movie has had a bit of a bad wrap from some. The CGI might be questionable, the "Welsh" accent is certainly questionable, but on the whole, this is a fun, no brainer with some excellent humor and story. My kid absolutely loves it, he must have watched it 100 times in the last few weeks. So, for what it is, its great. And if you've got kids, it will keep them entertained for ages.
Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
Disappointing work from a genius film maker.
I always took Werner Herzog as someone with integrity, someone who made serious films about serious topics. This mans credibility offers a lot in terms of suspension of disbelief. With titles like Grizzly Man and Into the Abyss, I was initially excited to hear he had made a film about Lock Ness. I honestly had no idea that this was a fake documentary when the open credits rolled. It become obvious pretty quickly. And Herzog's support for the production of this film I think, is irresponsible to say the least, and frankly questions his credibility as a film maker.
The production itself has an air of "film student" to it. Its as if someone gave the biggest mouth at the local film school a million bux to make "a movie", any movie by the looks of things.The directing is off point, the acting is unnatural, the side story seems unnecessary and the majority of the characters appear shallow despite the films "documentary" premise. It makes me wonder who this movie was made for, and if it was intended to be taken seriously. The idea of a mock-u-mentary suggests comedy. Unfortunately, nothing to laugh at here except the cretin like lack of talent displayed by Zak Penn. Who's over acting and poor writing blows the lid off any suggestion that this could be "real-life" within in the first 5 minutes of screen time.
It baffles me that this movie ever happened. How does someone who has a reputation for making award winning and Oscar nominated documentaries (Herzog) and someone who writes high-end, but mediocre super hero movies (Penn) come together and make a pile of garbage like this? How does it happen? A dare? A bad idea at the end of a boozy night out? HOW?
Having said all of this, the movie itself was entertaining to a degree, I diddnt reach for the remote after 10 minutes like some other films I can name. I just expected a lot more from this caliber of film maker.
Justice League (2017)
A half arsed and rushed attempt....
I really wanted to like Justice League. I wasn't overly impressed with BvS, but thought perhaps JL would save the franchise. Nothing in this film feels natural, everything seems dis-attached. Its almost as if this film was made by separate teems working without any kind of correspondence.
The score is abysmal, it feels completely separate to what is happening in the picture. As if someone is playing generic "movie music" in the background without looking at whats happening on screen. The Sound effects production is poor at best, with certain spot effects feeling completely out of place, and others feeling generic, as if just placed there to "get the job out of the way".
The CGI is difficult to swallow, the quality of Steppenwolf's CGI character animation is as bad as the infamous end scene in Scorpion King. Badly animated, rigid and that stupid expression on his face makes the character difficult to identify with.
Questionable effects quality plagues this film, sets look like sets, and some of the green screening seems very obvious, with backgrounds too contrasted with the foreground, making the character feel disconnected to whats happening in the story. Lighting also feels too "set like".
Dialogue feels too close and disconnected to the picture, the ADR work is too obvious, with the general audio mix being the worst I've heard in years.
I also found Barry Allen very irritating. Stupid attempts at a comic relief made his character annoying which I quite frankly found repugnant.
I know I am ranting on about tech stuff, I dont claim to be an expert, but as a consumer, I have become accustomed to a certain level of technical quality, and at 300 million budget, I really feel that a lot more could have been done here. Its a half arsed attempt. Did everyone working on this picture decide to give up on it half way through making it? It seems that way.
"Get it out the door so we can do the next Disney film" must of been uttered by someone as some point during the making of this film.
Having said all of this, I did enjoy small segments of the action sequences. The fight between The Flash and Superman was well done, hence the 3 stars.
Street Fighter (1994)
like an amateur dramatics version of the Batman TV series from the 60's. But with less budget.
I can just imagine the executive conversation that led up to this "movie".
"Hey! Its 1994, the studios are giving just about any bozo budget for a movie these days and the matrix wont be out for another 6 years, so lets make a movie about that video game. You know the one, the one about kung fu n stuff? I've got Jean Claude and that guy from the Adams Family lined up, hell, Kylie might even be interested! The one guy that kinda wrote Die Hard is on the payroll, But I could only afford him as a writer if I agreed to let him direct as well, what could possibly go wrong?"
And 35 million dollars later? Everything went wrong! Thats what!
Street fighter is a remarkably sad and ham fisted excuse of a "movie". What a waste of film stock and electricity this is. Even by "movie based on a video game" standards, Street fighter really is a steaming pile excrement and is shadowed by really "good" video game movies like the super Mario bro's and wing commander. It is an insult to any human that this abomination of entertainment exists at all.
The acting is possibly the funniest part of this farce, I know Jean Claude is no Lawrence Olivier, but in other movies he at least does a convincing job of learning his lines well enough not to have to read them off the auto- prompt. I think at one point you can even see his eyes scanning the for the next line. Looks like the director diddnt bother to consider things like acting to be that important, because the entire cast including the ones with actual acting careers sounded like they were performing in a high school amateur dramatics production that was directed by someone on the PTA.
Cardboard sets, cheesy one liners that sound like they should have been written for Adam West in a reject Batman TV series episode from the 60's. No detectable story line to speak of, an all star cast and potentially winning franchise. How better to waste 35 million bucks?
If I was in this movie, I would be so embarrassed that I would probably kill myself. Why am I writing about it? Well, I lost the remote today and became a member of the captured audience this daytime TV cowpat relies on. Oh, and I had nothing better to do during my Christmas holidays!
Outcast (2014)
Good Fight Scenes, Bad script.
I think you can blame Cage and Christensen for poor acting in this one, but I don't think it is fair to blame any of the supporting actors. The dialogue is awful, extremely poorly written and the story is disjointed. With this kind of rubbish to work with, I'm sure its very difficult to deliver a convincing line. Who wrote this garbage?
And Nicolas Cage? What the hell happened there? His delivery was so laughable that I found myself rolling on the floor in hysterics every time he pulled a stupid face, or grumbled out a corny sentence. His accent sounds like he prepared for the role by sitting up late at night watching game of thrones drunk. I usually love Nic Cage, even though he couldn't really be called a serious actor anymore. One thing is for sure, his performance in Outcast was atrocious. And with the stupid hairdo, he looks like one of those plastic trolls my little sister used to play with.
The plot is predictable, and a bit on the boring side. Some dodgy editing here and there. Some questionable camera work in places. All dialogue and "acting" sections between the action sequences could actually go completely, that would improve things greatly, and Hayden whats his face should maybe sigh and pout a little less. If all those things where put in place, this would make a nice little action stunt director show reel. Thats about all it is good for.
On the good side. The action sequences where very entertaining and well directed, the costumes where good and the setting felt authentic. So well done there!
End of the day, worth a look, if your bored and need a bit of action and unintentional comedy. I give it a 4/10 for the action bits that were kind of rad. And for Nic Cage, for being the Cheese-monger he is.
Need for Speed (2014)
Bromancing and bad editing anyone?
I just cant believe that this movie has scored 7.1 at this point on IMDb. I actually expected a decent action with awesome cars and even more awesome chase scenes. But sadly I came away with a huge sense of disappointment. Just to be clear, I am a huge fan of the genre and the video games, but I guess it was wishful thinking to assume that on this one occasion a decent film based off a video game could be made.
Need for speed is a overly shiny but under-produced affair. The editing is atrocious, I would expect more from a mediocre film student. Although minimal, there are some good shots and some of the in car scenes look almost exactly like the NFS underground series, which was well done. But as well as a a few minor pluses, there are a whole bunch of minuses. The acting is terrible! Aron Paul, who to be fair was excellent in Breaking Bad, brings little to the character, and the others? well, they might not seem out of place in some kind of crappy frat house comedy. But in an action movie? NEXT! Also, what's with all the Bromancing? These guys should just get a room, some tequila and get it over with.
from a storyline point of view Need for Speed was laughable. I literally found myself laughing at it far too often. ridiculous plot, badly- unbelievable crash sequences, disturbing level of bromancing, and far too many long shots. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, this is just ludicrous.
I'm just surprised I didn't turn it off.
Paper Man (2009)
A real heart warmer
This is not the kind of movie I would generally watch or review, but! I must say I really enjoyed it. The message is simple but powerful. The characters are easy to relate to and the moral is quite subtle but important.
Paper Man tells the tale of an unlikely friendship between a middle age author (Jeff Daniels) and a teen aged girl (Emma Stone). Although this friendship is misunderstood by the people surrounding their lives, it asks questions about the meaning and importance of friendship. The use of the imaginary friends helps the viewer to understand the conflict going on in both these peoples lives. And in doing so adds a comical and interesting dynamic to the story.
Performances are strong with both Daniels and Stone. I've always thought that Jeff Daniels was an underrated actor and am hoping that one day he will get his break. I don't think this movie is it, but he is getting closer. Ryan Reynolds is great as Captain Excellent and Kieran Culkin is also very good in the part.
I would highly recommend this film, especially if you have a good friend to watch it with. And if your prone to a bit of a cry during movies, then grab a box of tissues before viewing. Its a very sweet movie. "sniff, sniff."
Tron: Legacy (2010)
Visually Stunning - Hollow and simple plot.
I was very excited to go and see Tron Lagacy in 3D. I am a fan of the original 1982 movie and a huge fan of Jeff Bridges so you can imagine the glee I felt when I heard they where making this movie.
Visually Tron Legacy is amazing, the art direction is superb and the CGI is like something we've never seen before. And so it should be with an estimated budget of $160 000 000. I wonder to myself, how could it cost that much? Its just a bunch of CGI? But none the less its a great looking style.
Bridges is great in the part and the CGI reconstruction of his younger image is well done but far from seamless. CGI, CGI, CGI!!!! Thats all it really is though. The story is a little lame and simple, the characters are underdeveloped and difficult to relate to. And the moral is also a little lame at the end of the day.
My biggest disappointment was the 3D implementation. They could have done a lot more with it. Even Jackass 3D had more "eye popping effects". The one thing I really enjoyed was the music score. Amazing and cool without being cheezy. If your a sci-fi fan, go and see it. I would even buy it on Bluray just to add to the collection. But If your looking for something intelligent watch inception again.
Grown Ups (2010)
Another sappy attempt at warming our hearts.
What is Adam Sandlers problem? In the past he has made movies that are actually watchable. This steaming pile is not one of them.
Bunch of boyhood friends go into the forest to spread the ashes of their coach and on the way manage to learn a couple things about their sad mid life crisis's. Or something like that. I think Im going to rename Adam Sandler "Mid life crisis man" After sitting through Funny people which is basically a longer slightly more angry and cynical version of Grown ups, Im beginning to wonder if Sandler will ever make another movie as good as Zohan or Happy Gilmore. I reckon his time is up.
This movie is filled with stupid predictable situations that are supposed to be funny. Every stereotype in the book is utilised here. And if you don't fall asleep during the first 30min you'll Have a hard time holding back the vomit for a remaining 60min of sappy life lessons that feel like they came off the story of the love boat.
I have no problem with the idea that Sandler wants to spend time with his family and friends, but please Mr Sandler, keep it at home. And stop making movies about what you think is important in life. No one cares! As far as the acting is concerned, you get what you would expect from the main cast. But, performances from Salma Hayek and Steve Buscemi (Whom I believe are reasonable actors) are both wooden and hammish. The only reason I gave it 3 out of 10 is because it made me laugh exactly 3 times. 1 star per laugh and thats generous.
Skyline (2010)
Low Budget crap dressed up as Hollywood Blockbuster.
I remember seeing all the marketing and cinema trailers for this one and it looked as if it could be one worth watching. It looked like it had everything going for it. Big blockbuster production, some new fresh actors some large scale CGI action sequences....etc.... So I was quite excited to have a look and see if its any good. I'm always willing to give a movie a go, and generally don't really listen to reviews anyway. I remember thinking to myself "Perhaps this could be a good alien invasion movie, It might have some good cgi or something in it. Maybe its not as bad as they say?"
And man I was wrong! This movie is a load of crap! Absolute rubbish! The storyline was pathetic, predictable and un-original . The dialogue was like something out of party of five and the acting was cringe worthy. The Only redeeming factor of this movie at all is some (Not many) of the CGI sequences are rather well done (For a low budget piece of sh*t movie like this one) With a budget of only $10million you cant really have ideas this big. The special effects look Desktop produced in places and the aliens are way to shiny! And why did they add a heavy breathing audio track over some of the action sequences? It sounds like some kind of orgy!
Watch it, if your curious. If your a fan of Battlestar Gallactica you might actually give it a 4.5 rating. As far as Im concerned its a load of old crap. Certainly don't buy it on DVD or BluRay! Even if it is only 99p in the Bargain bin. And believe me, its going to help fill quite a few of those Tesco's bargain bins in the near future.
I only gave it a 2/10 because I liked some of the CGI stuff (Maybe 18sec worth in total!)
Unless you have a spare couple quid to flush down the bog then rent or buy something else!
Machete (2010)
Good Action Comedy - But I expected a bit more.
After seeing the "spoof" trailer at the beginning of Deathproof I thought to myself, what a great movie that would make. And sure enough a few years later, due to popular demand Robert Rodriguez churns out a full length version for all to see, and on a relatively small budget. The Film itself is a great idea with some very fun and entertaining scenes. Danny Trejo plays the part of a bad ass Mexican law enforcer with a fondness for lopping bad guys heads off with a very large machete. The film also features some great names. Robert DeNiro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, a sometimes butt naked Lindsay Lohan and a surprisingly good performance from Steven Seagal.
Machete doesn't disappoint on an action or gore level and the odd bit of hot chick nudity is quite welcome as well. I guess at the end of the day it ticks all the boxes for a 14 year old boys favourite flick. And the cheesy, exploitive 70's style in which its made is quite refreshing, in a way. The only thing I found is that dialogue scenes where a little boring and pointless. I found myself wanting to fast forward to all the action, gore and nudity. I must also say that Danny Trejo didn't quite for fill the part for me. Although he is the only actor that could ever play the part of Machete, he didn't quite seem hardcore or Bad ass enough.
If your a Rodriguez fan, you wont be disappointed but don't expect from Dusk till Dawn.
Well worth a watch if your a 15 year old boy or feel like a good laugh with some mates.