darian-caplinger Reviews

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

How could this have such bad ratings?

[10/10 · 4 June 2019]

Does no one understand satire? When the movie started, I thought it was going to be a cheap B-rated movie, but TBH, I think they did a really good job of balancing gross, with humor, with double humor, with nudity, and of course... with zombies.

There are a lot of double entendres in the film, so you have to be listening or watching very closely for them, because you are already laughing at some of it when an even funnier joke is told.

I loved it. It reminded me of Leslie Nielson movie.

The Basement (II) (2018)

I've seen much worse. Overall, well done even for a low budget movie

[9/10 · 28 May 2019]

I know we are supposed to mark it one way or another, but I will spell it out for you now... SPOILER ALERT!!!

I watch a lot of these low budget movies. Other than the fact there's a short scene and two quick shots of a Lambo, and a "mansion", the majority is spent in some random room that's supposed to be a basement.

The plot may seem very boring to others, I find the multiple personalities portrayed by Bill (Jackson Davis) to be rather interesting and even at points, extremely convincing and entertaining. I thought it especially interesting in the two jail visitation scenes, the visitors brought an old fashioned telephone handset with him (obviously one of the two visitors was supposed to be Bill's mother, but since it was Bill himself, I felt it necessary to say him instead of them).

Except for the part of Craig Owen (Cayleb Long), the main victim who endured the majority of the torture during the film, there may as well not been anyone else. The part of his spouse, Kelly (Mischa Barton) might as well not even been there, except for the plot twist at the ending. It turns out, she is his long lost twist sister. Even with that plot twist, the actress was very boring, seemed to have the emotional range of a turnip, and seriously, who is so into champagne that she sends her husband out in the middle of the night to buy some. Surely they had some wine in their cellar. Of course, this was all a setup for her husband to be kidnapped by her serial killing twin brother.

Also, when it comes to the plot twist and the importance of the "twins" in the zodiac of Gemini, you think they'd make the relationship of the two siblings a bit more involved, and featured more during the film, instead, except for the last sequences of the movie, there is nothing mentioned of any type of familial relationship between the murderer and his twin sister. In fact, I thought the woman involved in the very first scene getting ready for her head to be cut off with a torch was actually the wife of the main victim in the film.

I'm also curious why the murderer never let on to the victim why he had been chosen for the dubious honor of being the victim of the day. I consider it to be a wasted opportunity. Also wasted, was the opportunity to make an entirely different plot point of torture for our serial killer to victimize the woman our dear hubby had been having an affair with. They could even have been in the same room at the same time to make it all that much more enjoyable.

This is probably the highest rating I've ever given a low budget movie, and that's for all the interesting parts they did really well with the multiple personalities of Bill's character. Had they included the woman hubby was having the affair with in some of the torture at the same time, I may have actually given it a full 10 out of 10. I consider this to be an unforgivable sin, so I had to knock two stars off for it.

Overall, if you like slow paced movies that involve minimal amounts of torture (most of it is mental, not physical, but there is a little of both involved), and if you don't mind a movie that spends most of its time on parts that have nothing to do with the actual characters of the real cast, you are likely to find this a really interesting film noir. If your game is more on action oriented or grizzly gore, you may want to take a pass. I will probably watch this one again in a few years after I've forgotten most of it, just to enjoy it again.

The Silence (II) (2019)

Wasn't exactly spectacular, but worth watching

[7/10 · 13 May 2019]

*** SPOILERS AHEAD ***

I've read a lot of reviews on this movie here on IMDb, but I feel most are either unfair or written by people who don't appreciate the genre. In my humble opinion, the film wasn't wickedly awesome, but it had enough action and suspense to make it worth watching. There were some elements to the film that were either hurried or just completely left unexplained, which is why I gave it an 8 instead of anything higher.

The cast was very well chosen, and each actor brings a great believability to the fact it's a family surviving, not just a group of actors who are trying to act like a family. I do find the lack of a single death of the family itself as being a loss, as it really could have added another dimension (grief) to the movie. Even though Hugh (Stanley Tucci) loses his best friend Glenn (John Corbett) in the auto accident scene, when Glenn sacrifices himself so the others may live, there just isn't enough development of the character or explanation of the relationship for anyone to actually care or feel emotional about the loss. Besides, Glenn was trapped and would have died anyway. At least when Lynn (Kate Trotter) decided to sacrifice herself in an attempt to save Ally (Kiernan Shipka) from the Reverend's band of people, there was an altruistic note added to the film. Unfortunately, that moment was so brief it almost didn't matter, especially since the rest of the Reverend's group took Ally again. In the end, it did matter, as her killing so many of the Rev's group to save Ally thinned out the crowd enough so that the rest of the family could decimate the Rev's group with relative ease.

In the end, the family makes it to "THE REFUGE" in the Great White North, or at least that's where I assume it to be as it's never actually said where the exact location of the sanctuary zone is. Also, it's mentioned that people who find each other in the refuge are in a "grey zone," where apparently there is no Internet service or power to charge mobile devices. If this were the case, how could Ally and her family possibly find her love interest, Rob (Dempsey Bryk)? I mean, it's not like Canada is exactly a dime size country. The odds of finding someone in a specific area in such a large landscape would be almost incalculable. You know what, that alone has just forced me to drop my rating from an 8 to a 7.

Parts that feel rushed, unexplained or just completely odd:

• Kelly's (Miranda Otto) recovery from her injuries in the attack by the Vesps.
• How quickly the Vesps ended up in BFE instead of still attacking the living in population centers (even a town of 100 people would have to have taken precedence over an area with 20 or so people alive.
• Every "egg" has an unhatched Vesp that appears to be at the exact same state of development. It's almost like they have no clue to make some appear like they were just laid, or that one was ready to hatch.
• Every "egg" is completely translucent. Obviously that's so the home viewer can see what they are and what is going on inside of them, but that would suggest the membrane is very thin, and would probably then be extremely fragile and easy to pop should someone wish to kill the offspring before they could be fully developed.
• When Hugh first touched the fence gate at the country house, the bells at the top all went off like an alarm clock. When he went to open the gate, they barely made any noise at all, even though the amount of effort being used was much greater when he actually opened it.
• How did the Family Andrews survive while mom was recuperating from her injuries? The house may have been stocked with provisions, but I'm guessing as deep as those wounds were before Hugh and his daughter went into town to get antibiotics at the pharmacy compared to the way they looked when she was taking a bath, quite a bit of time had to pass. Did they go hunting? Did they set traps or snares? Did they capture some random person passing by, cut him up and freeze meat to keep for lean times?

Okay, I think that's enough for this review. I was very tempted to lower my score again to a 6 from 7, but I did enjoy the film, so I opted to leave it be.

The Walking Dead: Here's Not Here (2015) Season 6, Episode 4

Sometimes it's the simple things that bring the best value.

[10/10 · 21 November 2016]

There will be no spoilers here, but I wanted to respond to some of the stuff other people have written. I've read some reviews where people are complaining that this melancholy episode was inserted after such a high action one, but I think they had to, because they blew so much of their production cost on the previous episode.

In many ways, this episode was just as good as the action from the previous one. I don't agree with how they handled it, but what is done is done.

I've watched these episodes one after the other all week on NetFlix. I'm so sad I hadn't taken the time to do so before now. Some of the episodes, like a lot of the prison stuff, and the stuff with the governor were just plain junk, but episodes like this one, this is what make me return to watch a show.

King Jack (2015)

I didn't think I'd like it, and I was right. I *LOVED* it. Not bad at all.

[10/10 · 14 August 2016]

Jack has had a hard life. He lost a father who adored him (offscreen), and finds himself the victim of a bully who himself used to be the whipping boy of Jack's older brother Tom. Jack's mother has a sister with of psychiatric problems, and it's inferred she attempted to commit suicide, and the husband of the sister calls to see if Jack's family can care for Jack's 12 year-old cousin, Ben.

At first, Jack is pretty cold towards Ben, but they soon warm to each other and even manage to have a little fun before the bully interferes. What comes after is a pretty decent flick with an ending that will leave a smile on your face.

I Am David (2003)

I feel cheated for not seeing this sooner

[10/10 · 27 September 2014]

In my 41 years of life, never have I seen a film as poignant and touching as this. One cannot help but feel the despondency and aloneness that was ever David's companion. His journey climaxed in such a way the viewer cannot help but be happy for him. I was thankful my wife was not home when I reached the end of this film, as I not only shed tears, I was left crying like I haven't done since I was a boy.

There were so many beautiful scenes, not just with the physical beauty of the places where David visits along his path home, but in the depths of the souls who touched his along his way. The film also takes the viewer in a direction I would never have guessed from the beginning. Do yourself a favor, take the time to watch it.

Praying with Lior (2008)

Some people may not get it

[10/10 · 8 October 2013]

I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. You almost have to have exposure to what Downs children are like to really understand Lior. Children with Downs are usually very loving, open, sincere and honest, but it is balanced with deep innocence. Because of how the film was handled, I felt a real connection to Lior and his dad. I am not Jewish, so I did not really understand some of the traditions they practiced, but I enjoyed the learning experience. Lior is definitely a special guy.

I am a man, but I am not ashamed to say when Lior and his dad cried together at Devora's grave (Lior's biological mother), I cried with them. I just could not help it, especially since his mother had hoped she would live long enough to experience his Bar Mitzvah. There are glimpses of her and her story throughout the whole film. Like Devora, Lior's whole family is very supportive, especially his older brother Yoni. Yoni comes across as the perfect big brother. He's very attached to Lior, and looks upon him with nothing but loving and patient eyes. He seems like a great kid too.

I know some have said this film is superficial when it comes to Lior's spiritualness, but I personally feel they are missing the point. This film was not just about Lior and his spiritualness. It delved into the even deeper aspects of where his life might lead him, especially with the limitations that Downs will give him. He is not even completely aware they exist. I loved it when the interviewer asked him "What are you going to be when you grow up?" His very cute answer (with his big grin), "A man." He was not being a wise guy, it was a purely honest and sincere answer. It's like Downs kids are endowed with eternal innocence and love. In regards to the spiritual parts, I almost took it as how his involvement enhanced the experience for everyone around him. In that regard, they felt he was a spiritual genius. They felt a deeper connection with God vicariously through Lior.

As I said in the title of this review, some people may not get this film. I would highly recommend giving it a chance though. If you do, you must set aside any personal feelings regarding religion, and just try to focus on what the world must look like through Lior's eyes. Again, I am not Jewish, but I feel blessed for having watched this. Lior has a very charming personality, and I could not help but love him. If I could say anything to him, I'd say, "L'Chaim!"

Facing the Giants (2006)

Contains one of the most emotional scenes I've ever seen

[10/10 · 11 September 2013]

When I first heard of this movie and read reviews about how it was overly preachy, I decided to pass on it. Then I saw a brief clip from it, which contained one of the most powerful scenes I've ever seen... ever. It was because of that scene I decided to give the film a shot. I'm so thankful I did. When I first started hearing about the level of proselytizing in the film, I thought it was a joke. Watching the movie, it actually feels right... after all, it is a Christian school.

The acting is actually decent. The writing is good. The storyline isn't original, but it's still believable. I connected with the characters, and found myself emotional in all the right spots. It's a film which proves you don't need foul language, sex, nudity or graphic violence in order to create an awesome movie (Hollywood should be paying attention!). I don't know what the film's budget was, but it didn't feel like a low budget flick. The film has a good soundtrack, positive humor, and a great message.

If you are an atheist, you probably won't like this film. For anyone else, try to remember this is a Christian based film, produced by a Christian based group, with a heavily biblical message. It's a good film, I recommend giving it a shot.

Johnny (I) (2010)

Good movie, poor writing

[7/10 · 29 September 2012]

I'm an ordained minister, but this was more like sitting through a church service than watching a movie. I don't mind a good faith based movie, but this one took it way overboard. The movie would have been much better had they cut out about 90% of the religious material. For example, the group home administrator going over bible verses with kids, ain't gonna happen, as it is run/paid for by the state. It's just not realistic.

The movie itself was very heartwarming. The mother's acting was a bit over the top (melodramatic), almost to the point of overacting. There were times she was crying her head off, and the next moment, she was straight faced with no tears, then right back to balling. There are some continuity issues as a result. It's just poor writing/directing.

They picked a great cast otherwise. The kids are both adorable. The actors playing the doctors were good, however there is a line in the surgical room where the anesthesiologist calls for an EpiPen to be used on the boy when his heart goes asystole (medical term meaning "without rhythm"). They would use epinephrine from a vial in a surgical ward, not from an EpiPen, which is what someone with severe allergies would carry about their person for immediate inject should they come into contact with something they are allergic to and have a reaction. Also, the monitor keeps showing flat-line (asystole) with the word apnea beneath it. Apnea means without breathing. Oddly, he wasn't intubated, nor was he on oxygen. I didn't see anyone using a bag valve mask on him (or doing rescue breathing at all) during the CPR. I was an EMT for over 15 years, I can't help but knit-pick.

With all its flaws, I would recommend this movie. It's available on Netflix, and you could do much, much worse. It's very endearing, but you will cry. No matter how you might prepare yourself for knowing someone will die, when they do, and you've become emotionally connected, you will grieve for the loss.