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benlancaster09
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Unlocked: A Jail Experiment (2024)
You know what I'm sayin?
When I first started watching this show, I didn't know what the inmates were saying. They kept asking me, but I just wasn't getting it. I must be a slower learner. But having now watched all 8 episodes, carefully listening to all the inmates, and mulling it over, I can now confidently say that I still don't know what they were saying. They kept asking me "you know what I'm sayin?" And each time I said "no", but they continued talking as if I knew what they were saying. Eventually I just started nodding in acknowledgement, knowing full well I had absolutely zero idea what the hell they were saying.
Keep Breathing (2022)
A Boring Flashback Fest
I'm with pretty much everyone else here. The show started off good, great visuals, great location shoot, I was eager for a survival show. But no. You're basically lured in with that premise, and then it becomes a giant flashback fear. No joke, literally flashbacks like every minute or so. It's jarring and boring. I had no idea what was happening because I tuned out and mindlessly scrolled my phone during every flashback. Every time the show started to get interesting with the survival scenes - annnd another boring flashback. I give it 3/10 for the scenery and the lead actress. Sadly the show could've been so much better. What a waste.
Nope (2022)
Boring and weird
I honestly had high hopes for this based on how good 'Get Out' was, but I dunno what happened to Jordan Peele with this one.
There is only a handful of movies in my entire life that I haven't been able to at least finish, and this is one of them. My god. Each scene was just people blabbering on about something uninteresting, and each scene seemed to be about something different. I thought I was watching multiple different movies or something. I spent probably a solid hour giving it a go before I gave up, and all I got from it was something an ape killing people and then some UFO in the sky. Kept switching between these two things, seemed completely unrelated to me. Not wasting any more time to find out.
Just a complete mess of a movie. Trying to be too artsy. Confusing and oh so boring. So glad I didn't pay money for this pile of poo.
Servant (2019)
Nothing ever happens....infuriating
Honestly...I'm all for thrillers, but I expect some sort of pay off at the end, some sort of seasonal arc that comes to a close. But not this show. Not sure how I got through 2 seasons of it to be honest.
Every episode literally feels the same. Everyone drinking a disturbing amount of wine, the baby going back and forth between real and fake, and the story not really progressing anywhere. I mean seriously, half hour episodes where nothing happens and they're talking in the kitchen, again. Then the last 2 seconds some sort of ominous sound and it cuts to black. Repeat.
I watched season 1 and was mildly interested, then season 2 was basically much of the same, I couldn't continue from there. Season 2 came to an end and nothing was getting answered. Just a frustrating show to watch and wouldn't really recommend, unless you want something running in the background while you scroll on your phone.
Goodbye World (2013)
Giant piece of sh*t
Awful, truly awful...
I am a huge fan of post-apocalyptic movies but this is not one. Don't be fooled by this movie's premise. It's just a bunch of 30-something people sitting around talking nonsense and dealing with everyday issues. I literally dozed off because it was so boring.
There was barely anything remotely apocalyptic in the movie, other than a few brief references at the start. I thought there would be some action/conflict involved based off the trailer and the aggressive soldiers, but that turns out to be nothing but a steaming turd. Instead we're left with various scenes of bubble-making and counting like a sesame street episode.
Boring-ass movie. I want my time back.
After Earth (2013)
This movie licks penis
If it wasn't for his father, Jaden would most certainly be working at McDonalds.
Will Smith is one of my favourite actors, and I have enjoyed about 90% of his flicks, but his part in this movie is a joke. He literally sits in a chair for the entire movie with a disgusted look on his face.
Meanwhile, we are left to put up with Jaden for 90 minutes trying to act and running through the wilderness.
Nothing makes sense in this movie. It's boring, ludicrous, and I want my 90 minutes back.
Epic fail.
The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012)
wtf did i just watch!?
Awful. Completely awful. I applaud those of you who managed to watch this entire piece of crap, but I could not.
I was only 12 minutes in when I found myself IMDb'ing the movie and reading the other negative reviews. And then proceeded to watch the next 20 minutes of the movie in 30x speed whilst I thought up how to convey my disgust into words in my own review.
Mummy I & Mummy II were great. Mummy III was alright. The 1st Scorpion King was even alright. But don't be fooled...this has nothing to do with those movies, other than a brief reference at the start.
I honestly feel sick knowing that they spent approx. 5 million bucks on this sad excuse for a movie, just for people to rag on it. Imagine all the time and effort spent by all the cast and crew, and have everyone hate it. lol...
I keep falling for it...they get your interest by displaying a somewhat known actor on the cover (Ron Perlman & Billy Zane), but the lead actor is some no-name who can't act. Even Ron and Billy, when they're on screen, are at their worst. Obviously in need of money... Well now they will have even less because what was left of their already diminishing careers is now completely destroyed.
This is one of those movies that is just so bad...and you want to form your disgust into words, but you just cant...there are no words for this. It's horrible. Don't watch it. And I know when people say don't watch something, it just makes you want to watch it more. But trust me, the reviews are right on this one. It's bad. Really bad. Just....don't...
Every time I looked up from reading the other negative reviews, the character's were in some other part of the world. When I first tuned out the two main character's were fighting, and the so called 'king' was getting his ass kicked. Then I read another review, then looked up again and they were in some full-blown war with about 100 people - that escalated quickly!
From what I could tell at 30x speed, the story-line made no sense, the acting was atrocious, the visual effects were just bad, and the cinematography left something to be desired too...
Go home Scorpion King 3. No one wants you.
The Walking Dead (2010)
One of the best TV series I've ever seen
I'm a huge fan of TV shows, and this one ranks among the best I've ever seen (along with Lost and Spartacus).
Everything from the story-line, the characters, the actors and the visual effects, are all brilliantly done and have me eagerly waiting each and every week for the new episode to air.
When I first watched the pilot episode, I was a bit skeptical. It seemed to run a bit slow for my tastes....but I'm glad I persisted because it certainly picked up the action and I started to 'care' for these characters.
Contrary to some of the reviews it has been given, the actor's performances are top notch and completely believable. If I imagine myself in a similar situation, I can see myself behaving the same way and making the same decisions. Nothing better then starting a new TV series full of actor's I've never heard of and being pleasantly surprised!
All in all, The Walking Dead is certainly a TV series I would highly recommend to anyone. Whether you're in it for the zombies and the gore, or for the post-apocalyptic scenario, I guarantee you will fall in love with it!
The Tunnel (2011)
Not bad....not good, but not bad.
When I started watching this movie, I wasn't really expecting much... I've come to accept that Aussie flicks are a lil less par.
For the first half an hour I found myself bored...with all the documentary-style interviews. But once they got down into the tunnel I found it watchable. There were some edge-of-your-seat moments, but nothing overly scary. You don't really see a lot (mostly walls and poorly-lit rooms), but I think there is a decent amount of tension within the film.
The actors weren't the best, but I expected that with a few no-name actors. I thought they did alright though and generally their performances were believable.
There is certainly better hand-held movies out there if you're a fan of this style, but this still provided me with some entertainment on a lazy day.
Emergo (2011)
The worst movie I've ever seen...
This has got to be the worst excuse of a movie I've ever seen...and I've seen some doozies!
I found myself utterly bored and yawning for the most part of the film, and even scanned the last 20 minutes at 30x speed.
It wasn't scary, and the acting was atrocious... especially Michael O'Keefe (Dr. Helzer). You should be ashamed Mr. O'Keefe...you should seriously think about getting out of acting. I think the little kid was the best actor out of all of them.
I feel like I've just wasted an hour and 20 minutes of my life that I will never get back... I'm contemplating sending them an invoice for my time. No wonder they only grossed $256 on opening night LOL!!
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
Just....disappointed...
I will make this short and sweet....
I loved the first 2 films - great entertainment. But this 3rd one...ugh what a failure and a waste of 145 million bucks.
Two things made this movie a flop... Firstly, if you can't get the original cast back - don't make it. You are just throwing away 2 films full of character development. You can't expect to swap the actor over and have it feel the same. Just because you spent the first 20 minutes of the film reminding us that she indeed Evelyn, doesn't it make it so.
Secondly, you should have stuck with Egyptian culture with an ACTUAL MUMMY.
OK I'm done :)
P.S. The only reason I gave it a score of 2 and not 1 is because I thought the visual effects were decent...probably where 144 of the 145 million bucks went because it obviously wasn't for the writers or actors.
Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)
just...bad....
Biggest piece of crap I've ever seen...and I've seen some doozys! The best part of the movie was the chick with tits at the start, although it was clear she was only in it for the eye candy...probably got paid more than all the other actors too. Acting is horrible all round, the lead female is just plain annoying. I thought when we saw the buffed-up black guy that he was gonna give ol 3-finger a run for his money, but no - they kill him off pretty early on. Here I am thinking "well the leads can't be these other clowns surely..." boy was I wrong. I suppose they were cheaper...
Story line, crap. Visual effects, crap. Character development, crap. And wtf is up with the last scene? Or the last 3 scenes for that matter? 3- fingers gets impaled.....and doesn't die. So he somehow catches up to the speeding truck and has another crack at them? And then there's the 3rd scene just after it fades out.....wtf!?
All in all, big piece of crap. Glad it didn't cost me any money... Although I'll be sending a bill to the producer for an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.