MorganRand Reviews

Star Trek (2009)

Blasphemous erasure of all Trek history. --SPOILERS--

[1/10 · 12 May 2009]

On SNL last week I saw the two actors playing young Spock and Kirk declare that they tried very hard "to stay true to Star Trek canon." This is a gigantic lie.

This film completely rewrites 42 years of Trek history. Everything is different, and they used the cheapest of all plot devices (time travel) to do it. As with all time travel plots, the paradoxes and logical inconsistencies batter you about the head until you just give up thinking. TIME TRAVEL IS SCIENCE FICTION FOR MORONS.

I won't bother to list all the specifics - you can read them here in other reviews, and they are legion. Vulcan is destroyed. There are two Spocks, the younger of which is having an affair with Uhura. Spock's mother and Kirk's father (and billions of other current and future people) are now dead or will never exist. The Federation (somehow) knows about Romulans and Cardassians already. It goes on and on.

Oh, and despite the Burger King commercials, there are no Klingons in the film. Klingons are mentioned a couple of times as a minor plot device.

The short version is this: if you liked Trek before this film, you will not like this film. This film brazenly "reboots" everything you ever knew. None of it ever happened.

I'm ashamed of Leonard Nimoy for selling out for this piece of garbage. Kudos to everyone else from the *REAL* Trek who stayed far away. In my opinion, this film will be rejected by fans as never having happened. This "alternate timeline" will never be true Trek to me, just like Greedo still doesn't shoot first. Retcon it all you want - I will ignore it.

The Oblongs (2001–2002)

Disappointingly Mediocre

[4/10 · 5 April 2009]

Given the people involved and the unusual, creepy Angus Oblong source material, this show had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, it became just another watered-down, bland sit-com full of the same tired sitcom plots and devices we've seen since the 1950s. Uninspired and neutered, the show rapidly became boring.

Such a shame, and an almost total waste of Ferrell, Smart, and Adlon.

For some reason, the show's producers almost entirely abandoned the macabre theme of the source and turned it into a "wacky, lovable oddballs make their way in an unfair world" cliché party.

Angus Oblong's work is worth a look, but not in this show. Angus Oblong only has one producer credit and only has writing credits for one episode (the first one, probably) so all indications are that he sold out creative control.

It shows. This program was nothing special, which is why it's gone.

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (2007–2017)

Self-indulgent, self-impressed crap.

[1/10 · 5 March 2009]

The greatest thing these two guys ever did was convince network suits that they were funny, utilizing a technique of being incomprehensibly UNfunny.

TGTTM was awful, and this is worse. If that's possible.

This show is not iconoclastic, groundbreaking, or any of the other absurdly overblown praise that the 10-star fans throw around. It's boring, obvious and worst of all - simply not funny.

John C. Reilly brings a chuckle in his cameos, but that's due to his brilliance alone. He's slumming bigtime with these guys.

P.S. Anyone with the audacity to mention these two hacks in the same breath as Andy Kaufmann should be legally prevented from ever again expressing an opinion about anything.

Undefeated (2003 TV Movie)

Awful.

[3/10 · 26 July 2003]

Awful from top to bottom.

Cliched characters.

Clumsy pacing and plot.

Rancid dialogue.

So-so directing.