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Reviews
Deep Water (2022)
More like "Deep Disappointment"
Slow, boring, and a huge let-down. Towards the end it got better, but it was too late. Could have been a great movie.
I was intrigued by the short trailer that gave very little insight, but enough to make me want to watch it. So much for that.
The New Mutants (2020)
Really Strange
Only reason I didn't give it a 1 is because it wasn't "offensive", unless you count "offensively lousy" as such.
I'd love to meet the people who gave this a 10. It's the same situation as when there's that one car driving on the road like an absolute clown and you just HAVE TO pull up next to them to see if they look like the a-hole they've been driving like.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Pass on this one!
The reviews are more entertaining than the movie. Other than the closing credits, I can't think of one good thing here.
Spoiler alert - you won't get this hour and 39 minutes back.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
Terrible
Let's hope C.M. Punk is a better wrestler than actor. This movie was a complete joke, and not in a good way. The story was so unbelievably unrealistic I cannot even explain it.
And the people who enjoyed the "dark humor" in other reviews must have watched another movie. There was zero humor in this film, dark or otherwise, unless you include the skill of the actors.
Don't let the trailer trick you - this was a waste of an hour and a half.
The Art of Self-Defense (2019)
Dark comedy for sure
Boy was that a strange movie. The trailer seemed to portray a funny movie. Not even close. Pick another title for movie night, folks.
The 15:17 to Paris (2018)
Know what you're watching before hitting play
These men are heroes - let's get that right.
Being that this film was directed by Clint Eastwood, I must say I was a little disappointed, in comparison to his other films. The acting was not great, but realize that the 3 main characters are not actors by profession. I can appreciate that Eastwood had the real heroes play their own roles, but it didn't necessarily make for good filmmaking. The movie also took quite a while to get moving.
Bottom line - if you are looking to watch a movie with phenomenal acting, pass. If you are looking for an action-packed film from start to finish, pass. If you are looking to learn about the background and story of a few heroes, this is the movie you are looking for.
Eli (2019)
Good until the "twist"
Well that was a ridiculous ending. Way out of left field and ruined the movie.
Stalkers Who Kill (2015)
The actors ruin it.
I agree 100% with all these other reviews. I love crime shows, and I have a "rule" to finish shows I begin. This show is certainly the exception and simply cannot be saved - I really tried but could not finish it.
The actors are dreadful, incredibly annoying, and it is just absurd how they are pretending they are actually the victims and killers. So dumb. Do not bother folks - I cannot stress this enough.
I give it 3 stars instead of 0 just because it seemed like a good idea and it's not offensive or anything to deserve a 0. It just plain sucks.
The Haunting of the Suicide House (2019)
Just lousy
This movie was a joke. It is so bad, I'm reviewing it halfway through as I continue to "watch" it. Surely I'm missing nothing. The acting is dreadful. The sound is even worse - the "jump scenes" are absurdly deafening. It's kind of like a few teenagers got together and decided to shoot a movie with their video cameras. Unless you are looking for a movie to laugh at with your friends, take it off your watch list, folks. Only reason it gets a 3 is because 1 is reserved for offensive/disturbing AND lousy movies. This is only offensively bad in a laughable sense.
The Theory of Everything (2014)
Phenomenal acting!
I laugh at the reviews that complain of the incorporation of "very little science". Have a look at the synopsis before watching the movie - it is about the relationship between Hawking and his wife. It is not about his role in science. Sure, science is sprinkled in there simply because he was a scientist, but that was not the goal for this film.
Having known somebody who passed from Lou Gehrig's Disease, this was a heartbreaking movie to watch at times. Even so, it was also inspiring. Of course without significant in-depth research of his personal life and struggle with the disease, I don't know how spot-on facts are, but given Stephen Hawking's accomplishments in the field of physics, I imagine the dedication in his personal life is not far off here.
Eddie Redmayne's performance was incredible - I can't imagine it is easy to capture the physical deterioration of Lou Gehrig's Disease. It is not surprising he won an Oscar for this role. If you have any interest in the field of science and/or history and appreciate phenomenal acting, this is for you - Fantastic movie! They even throw in some bits or comedy here and there.
Though I do not agree with or believe in his atheism, I still enjoyed this movie because both God and science do exist, and there is something to be said about his brilliant mind (when it comes to science). This part of his life was briefly touched upon a few times in this movie.
So why not a 10/10? I have a movie rating system and this simply fits the criteria of a 7 for me.
Rideshare (2018)
Horrendous.
I rarely review movies, but this was so bad, I felt compelled to do so. It will have been worth my time if I save one person from wasting 99 minutes they will never get back. I should have trusted the people that rated this atrocity 1 star. As for those who gave it 10? My only guess is they are taking the drugs the killer in the movie laced the water with. The best part of this movie other than the ending credits? The smart-alec cop! The worst? Everything else. Genre - thriller. By no means. The only thing that made this a thriller was me being on the edge of my seat for this nightmare to end. The driver has to be the worst actor I have ever seen, by far. The snippets of "suspenseful" music were poorly placed. The storyline had potential, but was not executed. Just don't bother.
***SPOILERS BELOW***
One of the most ludicrous scenes was when he drugs the burger and the boyfriend comes home, doesn't hear the cell phone ring or him yell "sh$t!" in that tiny apartment? Sure.
The 10 minute argument regarding the hula girl on his dashboard was right up there too. Then 3 guys get in a Hitch car and recognize he fits the description of the Hitch killer, shares the same name, and they stick around to ask him about it, then discuss it out loud? Pretty sure he can hear them sitting in the back of that huge Prius! This is so dumb. This whole scene belongs in a spoof movie. "Would you like a (cue suspenseful music).....gummy bear?" This is so stupid! These are just a few examples of how absurd this movie was.