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Reviews
Cinderella (2021)
Worst. Cinderella adaptation. Ever.
I watched this movie out of pure boredom. It was easily the worst movie version of Cinderella I've ever seen. For starters, the script sounds like it was written by teenagers. The characters are flat and the message (Girls can do anything!) is shoved down the viewers' throats. Secondly, the songs are cringy. WHEN will people learn that jukebox musicals and fairytales don't mix? Worst of all, nothing about it even FEELS like the Cinderella story. Cinderella herself is surprisingly skeptical, the stepfamily doesn't feel wicked or even menacing, and the royal family is given the most attention/screentime. Honestly, the only good thing about it was Billy Porter as the Fabolous Godmother.
Riverdance: The Animated Adventure (2021)
Had Potential, But Failed to Live Up to the Legacy
As a '90s kid, I grew up listening to the soundtrack of the original "Riverdance" show. While I didn't have high hopes for the animated film, I did assume it would have at least something good. Boy, was I wrong. The story - if you can even call it that - is thin and tired. It mainly exists as an excuse to see/hear familiar dances and songs. The Huntsman is a disappoint of a villain. (He's just an obese bully with no backstory.) The comedy is juvenile; the comic relief side characters/plots contribute NOTHING to the main characters/plot. Worst if all, the third acts goes on for what feels like FOREVER. Don't even waste your time with this garbage.
Fireheart (2022)
What a Waste
I watched this film out of sheer curiosity on Hulu. As you can tell by the low rating, it wasn't worth my time. "Fireheart" is everything that's wrong with modern animated films. The main character Georgia is a Mary Sue. She's unrealistically tenacious, learns things WAY too fast, and suffers little to no consequences for her actions. Also, I can't suspend my disbelief long enough to believe that the main story takes place over the course of only a few days or that EVERY firefighter in New York City went missing. Finally, the messages are obnoxiously PC. Seriously, this movie can't go five minutes without hammering something preachy into your head. My advice: Skip this movie altogether and watch a more worthwhile animated film.
My Father's Dragon (2022)
Easily Cartoon Saloon's Weakest Film
I was really looking forward to this film because I remember really liking the book as a child and because I'm a fan of Cartoon Saloon. However, after I finally got around to watching the film, I was greatly disappointed. While the animation is lovely to look at and some of the voice acting is good (especially Jacob Tremblay), the rest is just a mess. The story is dumbed down to standard kiddie fare, the tone is uneven, and Boris the dragon is straight up annoying. This is by far the worst film I've seen from Cartoon Saloon. Here's hoping that their future films never stoop this low ever again.
Will & Grace (1998)
Worst. Sitcom. Ever!
I don't understand why this series is/was so popular. First off, the characters are loud and mean-spirited. Nearly every scene has them shouting and/or treating each other terribly. And just when you think they have a moment of warmth or sincerity, they literally laugh in your face as if to say, "Gotcha, suckers!" Secondly, the stories are unrelatable. Most of the episodes feel cartoony and unrealistic, even by sitcom standards. But worst of all, the humor is crass, lowest common denominator stuff. The commercials make "Will & Grace" seem like this classy, clever show. But when you actually watch an episode, you find the comedy is limited to gay/sex jokes, juvenile gags, and shallow pop culture references. This is easily the worst sitcom I have ever seen.
A Fairy Tale After All (2022)
I Want My Money Back
I watched this on Amazon for a price - and almost immediately wished I could get my money back. This wasn't the exciting fairytale fantasy I was expecting. The story feels random, the execution doesn't make any sense, and the editing/effects feel very unprofessional. A definite "no" for me.
Sahara (2017)
Too inappropriate for children and too lame for adults
I watched this movie last night on Netflix out of sheer boredom. I realized too late that I had made a big mistake. For starters, "Sahara" is filled with jokes and visuals unsuitable for a family film. Second, its use of pop culture references and modern music is both unnecessary and excessive. Lastly, the characters are one-dimensional and the story is generic. "Sahara" is by far one of the worst animated films I've seen.