joe-is-sexy Reviews

Furious 6 (2013)

Going Fast made me Furious

[4/10 · 25 June 2013]

Fast and Furious 6 is the sixth installment in the popular, Fast & Furious franchise. I think Fast 5 is absolutely awesome, but this is just so... DULL.

This film has been done before and better. Fast and Furious 6 is just so dumb. It has good cinematography and placement of the camera, but not much else.

It definitely chooses style over substance, and that got annoying when you heard this characters speaking every major plot point... BOOOO!

This film is just so uninteresting, but it does have some promising visual effects.

4 out of 10.

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

The Guardians don't Rise

[4/10 · 17 December 2012]

Rise of the Guardians is the newest film from DreamWork's Animation.

Let me get started, Rise of the Guardians has the best voice talents... Forget Brave, Madagascar 3 or even ParaNorman. The voice talents just fit perfectly with the characters.

The script is so bad. The plot is too simple and eventually has nothing to do (for its 100 minute runtime), It just isn't good enough. The script seemed like it was written by a bunch of 4 years olds, it just wasn't good... At all... I only laughed about twice.

The animation is eye candy. It looked superb, but, Brave had the best animation.

Overall, Rise of the Guardians is strictly for kids... Adults may get bored... 2/5 stars.

End of Watch (2012)

What a movie!

[9/10 · 3 November 2012]

This movie is so good that it will most definitely be on my top 10 list of 'Best Movies in 2012'.

The Acting: The acting is superb. The chemistry between Gyllanhall and Pena is extraordinary and it's just worth checking out because of it.

Blood & Gore: Although half of it was unnecessary it really kept the story going in a way.

Plot/Script: The first-third of the movie is hard to get into and entirely rough. But the middle and ending is extraordinary and easy to watch. Although the ending is extremely heartfelt I thought it needed to be in their to keep the real-life element (that they had going) going on properly. The script is fine for a found footage film and by fine I mean fantastic.

Overall: I loved End of Watch and therefore I'm going to give it an A. If it just fixed it's slow start it would've been an A+! Thank you and search up 'Joseph Akers' in the you-tube search box to find video reviews!

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Some jokes are forced, but an overall enjoyable film!

[7/10 · 3 November 2012]

Hotel Transylvania stars: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James and David Spade. It goes for approximately 90 minutes. It fails to deliver GREAT 3D moments although some could be classified as 'GOOD'.

The first half of the movie is what is called 'Jokes Are Failing' Syndrome. Although they do crack in a couple of good laughs in the first half, majority don't live up to expectations that animations nowadays do. Too many slapstick moments and unnecessary forced jokes... NOTE TO FILM-MAKERS: If jokes are forced... Don't even bother with the joke!

The movie has heart though, which kind of makes for it's first half. The second half however is fun, cool, funny and surprisingly a bit thrilling! It does have it's fun moments... I will admit. Although some of the 3D doesn't work I still found it to be a good animation... Is it the best animation of the year? NO WAY! But is it great as an animation? No, not really it is what I call 'A good animation if you just let your mind do nothing!' A B from me.

The Bourne Legacy (2012)

Write a interesting script, put in only few action scenes, and hey, we got a Bourne sequel/reboot!

[6/10 · 19 August 2012]

Not having watched the Bourne franchise, I thought this would be awesome! Yeah, it was good. The first trailer for this movie looked so crappy, but when the second trailer came out, I started to get excited.

The script/Character Development: The characters were so interesting, that when you needed to get emotional you got emotional. Even though the dialogue was overloaded, way overloaded, I found myself starting to lag off this movie a little more. Don't get me wrong, it was written to perfection, but it was really overloading. Rachel Weisz character was probably the most fantastic female character in a film this year (except for Meridah in Brave, her terrific hair :P). She introduced her character very well. Some characters didn't need to be there, when you see the movie, you will notice it as well.

Acting: The acting was superb, Rachel Weisz was most enjoyable on screen. She had something that Jeremy Renner couldn't bring to the screen, and that made the acting of the movie complete.

Direction: Some scenes were sometimes scattered, but they picked up in the end.

More problems: NO CLIMAX! This movie had no solution what so ever which, in my opinion, makes the movie not needed and not really enjoyable material, especially if you pay $12-$13 for a movie ticket. With no climax, the movie really has no ending, and that is very shameful. I even stayed for the credits to see if something would pick up.

Overall: The movie was good, not perfect. I do actually hope for a sequel, and I hope we get a climax next time round! Thank you. Search up 'Joseph Akers' in the YouTube search box for some reviews!

Ted (2012)

Do your self a favour!

[9/10 · 4 August 2012]

Ted is one of the funniest movies I have seen all year, by far one of the best comedies (21 Jump Street and Ted) and one of the most creative aspects I have seen in nearly two whole years!

Cast: Seth MacFarlane voices Teddy/Ted perfectly, Mila Kunis as Lori is magnificent and Mark Whalberg as John was perfect also.

Script: All the script was great, but Mila Kunis' Lori character didn't have a strong script, so that was a let down.

Plot: Plot was hilarious and highly interesting. The plot was the best thing about the movie because I thought there wasn't going to be one, but it was hidden in the shadows.

Direction: Seth MacFarlane directs perfectly, and thank god for that! Because I thought it would have been all over the place!

Overall: Ted is a delight and extremely funny, do yourself a favour!

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

The Dark Knight Rises, yeah, he rises, got a problem with that? I sure don't!

[10/10 · 4 August 2012]

AWESOME!! BRAVO!! GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT RISES!!

The acting: The acting was beyond amazing, especially Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, who actually was the star of the movie! Christian Bale was great, Michael Caine was awesome also, but Anne Hathaway just really shines. Also GREAT Morgan Freeman, especially with his little role.

The direction: I think it is safe to say that Christopher Nolan has done it again! Christopher Nolan is the director of our generation and he is just an amazing story teller.

The plot: The doomsday plot was actually better than I thought it would be. I thought it wouldn't work at all, but it worked fantastically!

The script: The script it just pure AWESOMENESS!

Action scenes: Action scenes truly made the movie complete. But sometimes even the dialogue was better, not saying that the action scenes were weak, it is just that the dialogue was really interesting.

Bane: Bane isn't a last movie villain, but I still had fun with him during the movie, because he was just so well developed and we got a great twist from him.

Overall: Go see TDKR NOW!!

Step Up Revolution (2012)

What the F...

[3/10 · 4 August 2012]

Step Up 4: Miami Heat or Step Up 4: Revolution. Yeah, it sucks, dancing moves are cool, 3D is OK...

The acting is really dumb and stupid and unwanted, it would be better if this movie was a silent movie. I hated the acting and it was really forced, also the characters had some interesting back stories, so, the acting really made the characters stupid.

The script is dreadful, they can introduce some characters but they can't follow some more stories with the characters.

Directed awfully, and I was really disappointed with this because all of the other Step Up's have headed into the right direction.

Dance acts were really cool, and it was the best thing about the movie... truly! I thought the dance moves were awesome and I really enjoyed it, and it really took the movie to the next level.

Watch my video review, and thanks for watching. Video review: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdKWTuRmNTk&feature=plcp

That's My Boy (2012)

You won't stop laughing, but sometimes you are laughing at how stupid the movie is!

[8/10 · 28 June 2012]

Even my Grandma liked it. This movie is hilarious. Adam Sandler is finally back on track, in my opinion. The movie involved some of the stupidest comedy I have seen in years.

The plot of the movie is actually quite descent, and it is a spiral of fun. You will laugh at the movie, and laugh with the movie. You will laugh at the movie because it can get very silly.

Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg have AMAZING chemistry, and I think we are expecting more from the duo, well, hopefully! Susan Sarandon and Vanilla Ice are in the movie, yeah it's kind of weird, but hey, its funny!

The movie is filled with R rated stuff, and I am so glad I went to see the movie. 8/10 = A-

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Some great fun in 3D

[10/10 · 10 June 2012]

This movie was AWESOME. It had awesome CGI, some great graphics and some mind blowing 3D. The movie was at times VERY scary. But please see this movie, I will tell you in my review why you should...

The movie was highly entertaining and kept you looking, even in the gruesome and disgusting parts. The movie, as I mentioned before, had awesome CGI and a great storyline. The 3D was made perfectly.

The script was magnificent, as was the acting. This movie was directed by Ridley Scott, a director that can do a good movie and a bad movie, but this time he pulled it off. The acting was MAGNIFICENT, it was truly special.

Even though I wouldn't see the sequel, if they made one, I will still give this movie 10 stars, for being highly imaginative and really entertaining.

Men in Black³ (2012)

MIB3, Alien Sci-Fi or an Action?

[6/10 · 2 June 2012]

The movie is good, but I couldn't decide, is it a MIB film? Obviously it is, but it didn't have that many aliens that we had in the MIB series so far. The movie did great as an action film, but not so great as a Sci- Fi.

The comedy was done perfectly, except I would have liked them to cut down on the jokes for my action scenes, some scenes where left a banded. The movie has an amazing ending, but has a really slow middle. I really liked the movie because it just had wonderful CGI, when you could get it. The 3D was OK, but instead of having it in 3D, they needed to spend more money on the scenery in the 60's part of the film, it looked like we where in 2009.

The movie was great and very funny, but sometimes overloaded, and paced. The movie goes for 106mins, but I would rather have the movie go for 130mins and have some great action scenes, some more comedy, some more 3D scenes and some more Aliens. I have a feeling the movie was low budgeted.

I will give the movie this though, it was fun, funny and SOMETIMES entertaining. It did have good action scenes, when you could get them (which was very rarely), some AWESOME CGI (which I felt like we missed out on), and a really great ending (Very heartfelt). But really this movie shouldn't be called a MIB movie. Sorry, it was still good though.

The Avengers (2012)

The Avengers Assembled and truly amazed me!

[10/10 · 2 June 2012]

The Avengers is a Sci-Fi/Superhero movie with a lot of amazing moments in the history of FILM! This movie was long awaited, and it was DEFINITELY worth the wait...

The Avengers truly had a crack at being a number 1 movie, and it's attempt worked. It has really good action scenes, with a few laughs along the way. The movie really had to work hard with the character development, and the end result was PERFECT! Scarlet Johansson was GREAT as Black Widow, but Black Widow really needs her own movie to start her off fresh, this was a bad opening for her. Hawkeye (who was introduced also) was fabulous. I wasn't happy with Captain America: The First Avenger, because the movie was DREADFUL, but Captain America really got the spotlight he deserved.

The script was AMAZING as was the Sci-Fi plot which was truly INTELLIGENT. Even if you don't like the movie, you will have fun anyway. 10/10, a great movie, even with high standards.

Dark Shadows (2012)

Awesome, it is highly entertaining

[10/10 · 2 June 2012]

Dark Shadows is a movie based on a TV show, that I specifically don't know. I walked into this movie VERY hyped up, I knew that it was a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie, and it was going to be great, and it was.

It had lots of cool CGI, lots of cool action scenes to keep EVERYBODY entertained. It has laugh out loud comedy, which was good every know and then. Johnny Depp was TRULY amazing, he was more in character than he is with Captain Jack Sparrow, truly!

The plot was very interesting and entertaining. It has an all star cast including: Michelle Pfieffer, Eva Green, Chloe Grace Moretz, Tommy Lee Miller and with the comical genius Helena Bonham Carter, and to top it off a cameo by Alice Cooper. The music was composed by Danny Elfman (Edward Sciccorhands), whom has had worked with Tim Burton before.

The movie was amazing and truly spectacular, 10/10. Great Job!

The Three Musketeers (2011)

The Movie is of course, Highly Recommended

[9/10 · 21 October 2011]

If you've seen the movie, well I guess why your wondering why the IMDb score is so low? Well honestly for the first time I disagree with IMDb. The Script was written brilliantly. The 3D effects were awesomely presented. The camera angles made the 3D look as if you were in the sword fights. The action blended in with the movie, and to admit it I even laughed a little. The Director did a fantastic job. Logan Lerman did a fabulous job at acting and so did Orlando Bloom. Overall the movie is amazing. But why did it loose a star from me? Well because it did get a little boring, but still highly recommended! Please check out the movie, you will be missing out on something if you don't!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)

OK but not I'm not Wowed!

[3/10 · 13 August 2011]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II needed more improvement. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is a great book but the movie is so horrible but it is good at the same time!

Harry Potter is a great franchise there are some movies that are horrible and boring like this one and the Half-Blooded Prince.

Even though I didn't enjoy Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I was wowed in some parts it was great but not so great at the same time. It is stuck in the middle.

I do recommend you go and see it since it is the last movie but don't blame me if you are upset by wasting your money, Thank you!

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

A Great Family Flick x a Dozen!

[7/10 · 16 July 2011]

Have you ever needed a movie where you just need to take a breath and relax? Well, Cheaper by the Dozen is your answer. It is packed with comedy that will blow the family away and the best thing about it is it's rated 'G'. So it's great for a family party. The movie is great and everyone acted well. The worst actor would have to be 'Bonnie Hunt' she played the mom, and didn't do really well as her. The best actor would have had to be 'Steve Martin' and 'Hilary Duff' as they put a great effort into the movie. The storyline and plot was fantastic but the humour needed a bit more improvement, they needed more talking comedy not hurting comedy. The movie is great and it is good to see with your mates or whomever it may concern

The Green Hornet (2011)

Great Action! But Comedy failed

[7/10 · 13 July 2011]

Green Hornet was good but the comedy sucked. The action was nice though. Green Hornet needed improvement, they had heaps of set-ups for comedy but they blew it. The main thing was the script. The script was set up with different things, that other action comedies don't have. The worst bit about Green Hornet was the sidekick. Jackie Chan could have done a way better job. I did not get some of the bits in the Green Hornet, especially when the bit about where the sidekick's eyes turned into a different colour to plan his attack. I thought he was a robot for a minute there. OK, I gave Green Hornet 5 because the action was fantastic but the comedy failed. You have to admit, you do get a few laughs out of it, A few laughs of disappointment