Brew_Swayne Reviews

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023– )

Entertaining Slow Burn.

[8/10 · 13 January 2024]

I'm reading some of these comments complaining about a lack of monsters and I'm wondering if those people put any thought into what this show was going to be about. If you were expecting this show to be monster-centric, then I'm not sure what to tell you. This isn't a monster show. It's a show about the creation, development, and growth of Monarch. I'll be the first to admit that the writing isn't the greatest and there isn't much at all by way of character development, but the actual story being told is pretty awesome, imo. They've done a really good job of using some original source material that goes back to the original Godzilla movie from 1954, while weaving it together with the much more recent Godzilla and King Kong movies to help bring this Monsterverse together with something more fluid. I love the overall story being told even if most of the characters themselves might lack depth and substance.

Bottom line is that if you're going into this expecting to see monster after monster after monster, then you're going to be sorely disappointed. But if you go in hoping to see how the Godzilla and Kong franchises are being woven together and creating a coherent timeline, then you will probably be entertained. All in all, I think the show is actually greater than the sum of its parts. Enjoy the ride.

The Family Plan (2023)

Another generic direct to streaming pile of crap

[1/10 · 21 December 2023]

This movie is flat out boring, unimaginative, and completely predictable. This has all the makings of a hastily thrown together script, the production value of some crappy app advertisement, and a cast that probably put more effort into cashing the check than they did acting. There isn't a single redeemable thing about this movie. The jokes fell flat, the action was poorly choreographed and executed, the villain(s) were an absolute joke, and the dialogue was absolute rubbish. I really don't want to waste anymore time talking about how awful everything about this movie is, so I think I'm done now.

Hello Tomorrow! (2023)

I Like it, but I Don't Love it

[7/10 · 30 July 2023]

The 50s-futuristic world is absolutely beautiful and presented near perfection, and the acting is all around excellent. That said, I feel like they may have tried to cram about 12 or 13 episodes into 10, which made things a little rushed and convoluted, particularly in the final 2 or 3 episodes. If this show gets a season 2, I hope they allow for two or three additional episodes so that the story can be told with the same detail as what has been given to create the incredible looking world shown throughout. Season One, while enjoyable overall, felt like the end result was less than the sum of its parts. Definitely worth the watch though.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Boring Story, Excellent Flight/Combat Scenes

[7/10 · 30 June 2023]

I really don't get all the hype surrounding this movie. The story this movie is trying to tell is pretty boring and convoluted and not very interesting. There were a few well placed nostalgic shoutouts to the OG Top Gun, but not so many that you felt like you were watching a highlight reel.

The Rooster/Maverick drama was far too fabricated and overblown. If there was going to be a huge rift between them, then surely they could have come up with something better than Maverick interfering with Rooster's Naval Academy application.

There seemed like there could be some solid Maverick/Iceman tension and competition between Hangman and Rooster, but it just never materialized.

The only thing more cringe than sand volleyball in jeans from the OG was this awkward game of football that was meant to be a team building exercise and is just completely out of place.

And now we're on to the mission that Maverick is training these young pilots for. It's basically the attack on the Death Star scene at the end of Star Wars.

The story being told here just didn't move the needle at all. BUT....

Every single scene that involved flying was incredible. Every. Single. Scene. Whether it was training or battle, they were awesome. Absolutely amazing and they definitely make the movie worth watching.

-100 stars for the story, but 107 stars for the flight/combat scenes.

Beef (2023– )

Life Is Better With a Nemesis

[8/10 · 22 April 2023]

I really enjoyed this show overall and thought that Steven Yeun and Ali Wong were incredible. I'm not overly familiar with Ali Wong's previous work, but I think she nailed this role. And I'm pretty much only familiar with Steven Yeun from The Walking Dead, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that his character had absolutely nothing in common with Glenn from TWD and that I didn't even feel like I was watching the same actor. The supporting cast was equally enjoyable.

After the first couple of episodes, I kind of saw it going in a similar direction of Cobra Kai, with this seemingly never ending rivalry between 2 people that originated over a minor incident that just kept growing and spreading through a series of minor, but overblown incidents. And while that does hold true, what separates Beef from something like Cobra Kai (aside from sweet kicks and leg sweeps) is that it eventually takes a bit of a dark comedy route and finishing with a bit of a will they/won't they kind of ending.

I'll admit, I was hoping for there to be some more hijynx between Wong and Yeun as their beef escalated, but overall this was really well written and the cast was incredible.

It definitely works as a single season if they choose to leave it at that, but there's absolutely a lot of potential for additional seasons if they decide to keep it going. Definitely recommend watching.

Knowing (2009)

About As Meh As Meh Can Get

[5/10 · 22 April 2023]

This movie almost feels like it was written backwards, from end to beginning. I'm not going to give a full breakdown of the plot, but I'm going to focus primarily on the "numbers." In 1959, a class of young children are doing a time capsule project where they will each draw what they think the world will look like in 50 years. Naturally all of the kids draw pictures of robots and spaceships, etc, etc, but one girl who hears voices in her head writes down lines and lines of seemingly random numbers. All of the papers are gathered and placed in the time capsule and buried in front of the school.

50 years later, the time capsule is opened each new student is handed an envelope from within the capsule. The young boy who receives the page full of numbers just happens to be Nic Cage's son, who happens to have some sort of hearing issue that requires him to wear a hearing aid, while also not actually being deaf. Nic Cage also happens to be a professor of Astrophysics at MIT because he totally seems like the kind of guy who can pull that off. So Cage spends about 3 seconds looking at the paper and discovers that the numbers actually have meaning. They represent the date/# of fatalities/location of major disasters to take place between 1959 and present day. But wait!!! There's still 3 events that haven't taken place yet, but are all predicted to happen in the next several days.

Cage kind of tries to prevent them from happening, but the next 2 happen anyway and he is there to witness them both. Meanwhile, his son who can hear but still wears hearing aids and knows sign language even though he doesn't actually need to use it as a means to communicate is now hearing the same voices that the young girl heard in 1959.

The final prediction only provides a date, but no location or number of fatalities. As all of this is going on, there are these creepy looking Norwegian dudes who occasionally show up and give off creepy vibes, but you hardly see them and they don't say anything.

Long story short, the reason why there is no location or number of fatalities provided in the final prediction is because the little girl was predicting the end of the world. So everyone is going to die because the sun is going to get really hot and melt everything.

Also, it turns out these Norwegian dudes are really aliens and they were the ones who were whispering all of these numbers in childrens' heads all around the world. They knew the end of the world was coming and I guess they decided to tell a bunch of kids about all of these future catastrophes without any context at all, or even without any actual reason. If you're going to forecast the end of the world, what's the point in providing a list of insignificant (by comparison) disasters that lead up to the end of the world?

Ok, so there's a creepy run down house out in the woods, a broken relationship between Cage and his father, and the daughter & granddaughter of the young girl from 1959, who somehow managed to grow up and have a family even though she heard voices in her head, because back in the 50s, the US was definitely right on top of the mental health game and definitely DID NOT just lock up crazy people in an insane asylum. Her daughter didn't inherit the crazy voices in my head gene, but apparently the granddaughter did even though she exhibits none of the same behavior throughout most of the movie. That's basically the jist of everything going on in the background.

Soooooo....remember those alien dudes who look like Norwegians? Yeah, they want to take the kids on their spaceship and save them from the end of the world so that they be the foundation of a new human society. They've actually been talking with kids all around the world and have come to collect them. Nic Cage wants to go with them, but they won't let him because no adults allowed. But they do let the kids take some bunnies that they found.

Cage and his son have a sad goodbye that tugged on exactly 0 heart strings. Then the Norwegians reveal their true form, which is basically a humanoid shaped light. They put the kids in their windowless space van and fly away, along with all of the other space vans that have been collecting kids from around the world. After taking a nap in the middle of a rock field that is also in the middle of the woods, Cage drives through a violent and uncontrollable mob of people who are all polite enough to casually move out of his allowing him to pass through without incident. He parks and walks into his parents house where they all hug each other just before everything on the planet is destroyed by an enormous solar flare.

The end.

SIKE!!!!! This ain't over yet. The aliens drop all the kids off in a field on a completely new and seemingly uninhabited planet. I guess they have to fend for themselves because none of the aliens stay with them. Then the kids start walking towards a single large and beautiful tree. Fade to black.

The end.

SIKE!!!! I have a theory. The tree is actually a very young Eywa and these children are the first generation of Na'vi. They evolve over hundreds of millions of years to grow into the tall, blue people who have a deep personal/spiritual connection to their planet. At the same time, during this multiple millennia of evolution, the earth heals from the solar flare and basically recreates life as it had before. This 2nd iteration of humans manages to develop space travel, discovers a new planet and tries to colonize it for its natural resources. So if you haven't seen Avatar yet, I suggest you watch it. It's a fantastic sequel to Knowing.

House Party (I) (2023)

LeBron Ruins Another Franchise

[1/10 · 12 March 2023]

First it was Space Jam and now this. Almost nothing about this movie made any sense other than Bron showcasing his narcissism. The story was choppy and at times didn't make any sense. I mean, I'm not expecting Shakespearian level writing here, but this movie makes the original look like Hamlet. There were a few chuckles throughout, but nothing memorable. In the end, this was really just another vanity project from LeBron. Even with just a few minutes of total screen time, he still managed to linger over the entire movie like a wet Taco Bell fart. This movie lacked structure, continuity, and direction. Most of all, it lacked heart.

Day Shift (2022)

Another Netflix Flop. When Will I Learn?

[2/10 · 19 August 2022]

Many Netflix original shows are binge worthy, but I've yet to see a Netflix original movie that isn't cringe worthy. Day Shift is Netflix's latest star studded offering that fails to deliver in any meaningful way.

Jamie Foxx, who I love, isn't funny and Dave Franco plays the same awkward, unamusing role that he usually plays. Snoop dresses like a cowboy, but doesn't look the least bit comfortable, and neither was I through most of the movie.

Like every other Netflix original, this movie lacks depth and development, while being chock full of holes and heavily recycled narratives.

I feel like this was the work of an 8 year old who watched Blade and Liar Liar, did a few lines of blow, and decided to write a script.

How does Netflix keep getting such big names to sign up for these blatantly horrible movies?

Snoop Dogg's F*Cn Around Comedy Special (2022 TV Special)

Yawn

[1/10 · 22 June 2022]

With the exception of a few funny one liners here and there, most of the jokes didn't land and the material was mostly tired and unimaginative. Every comedian had a slightly different variation of a Chris Rock/Will Smith joke. Didn't anyone review the material beforehand and suggest that maybe 5 different comedians shouldn't all lead with the same joke? A woman comedian talking about her love of dick? That routine has been done enough time by enough women now that it's no longer shocking or taboo or, ya know, funny. Even Mike Epps, who is easily the most recognizable name in the lineup, was just a rambling mess. This whole thing had the feel of an open mic night at some janky bar, but with higher production values.

The Guardians of Justice (Will Save You!) (2022– )

Convoluted Mess

[1/10 · 8 March 2022]

I had really low expectations going in and it still didn't clear the bar. Watched Episode 1 and that's as much as I can take. I don't know what this show is trying to be, but if the goal was to be a steaming hot pile of excrement, then mission accomplished. Moving on to something else now.

Inhumans (2017)

Worst. Show. Ever. Period. Exclamation Point!

[1/10 · 2 March 2022]

Bad. This show is just really really really bad. Look at the date of this review. It's been 5 years since the show aired and the only reason I'm even writing this now is because I had pushed the show's entire existence out of my mind only for a friend to remind me earlier today that this crime againsy humanity actually happened. So here I am.

Ok, so I'm not going to bore you with plot analysis or critique the acting or writing because it's all terrible. However, I will take a moment to point out that when you're making a show about super heroes or powered people or metahumans, Mutants, or whatever else you want to call them, it's probably a terrible idea to strip the characters of their abilities right from the start and keep it that way for the entire season.

Seriously. Who in the actual eff thought that shaving off Medusa's hair and having her run around being a completely useless Sinead O'Connor look-alike was a good way to start the story? There was literally nothing redeemable about this show and it's mindblowing that it even got the green light in the first place.

I Am Mother (2019)

In the Box and Largely Predictable

[3/10 · 22 February 2022]

There's really not many bright spots about this movie beyond the cinematography. Mother has an entire warehouse of embryos and has tasked itself with repopulating the planet, but only with children who meet certain behavioral, intellectual, and emotional thresholds. In short, Mother is trying to reinvent humanity because people suck and it wants this new evolution of humans to not suck. Cool premise. I dig it.

Now, if I'm tasked with raising kids and I don't want them to pick up any of the nasty habits that people had before the extinction event, then I'd probably not have saved late night talk shows or any other form of media/entertainment for my child to watch. If the goal is to create people who are "better" than our current iteration, the first thing I would do is eliminate all of their influences. Seems like a serious oversight.

Another big oversight is that Mother is a bit of an omnipresence and is not stuck in a single host body, but is everywhere and can simultaneously occupy the "bodies" of multiple robots/droids at the same time, yet it is completely separate from all of the inner workings of the bunker they live in. Instead, mother relies on having keys and control panels to operate all of the bunker's functions instead of actually being connected to the bunker so it could control doors, security, emergency systems, etc, etc, from anywhere. Doesn't make sense.

It is a wonderfully filmed movie though. The CGI behind Mother is excellent and it's a visually delightful movie, but it really lacks direction, substance, and a strong twist.

Kimi (2022)

What did I just watch?

[2/10 · 20 February 2022]

This was kind of an ok movie throughout, but the last 20 minutes or so were just absolutely brutal. Our shero, Angela, is a reclusive germaphobe shut in who is dealing with the mental trauma of a past sexual assault and her job is to listen to faulty user interactions with Kimi - a smart home assistant like Siri or Alexa - and take corrective action to improve Kimi's responses.

Taking place during what I assume is shortly after peak-COVID lockdowns, we learn that during lockdowns Angela befriended a guy living in an apartment across the street and she invites him over occasionally for a booty call, but she can't muster enough gumption to meet him at a taco truck parked on the street between their 2 buildings.

There's also a guy across the street in a different apartment who seems to like watching Angela.

Oh, and apparently the apartment above hers is under construction/renovation because the noise from all the tools and hammering makes it impossible for her to do her job. It's cool though, she calls the foreman and reminds him of their agreement that they not work between the hours of 9am - 6pm M-F, 10am - 5pm on Saturdays, and NEVER on Sundays. This is definitely a very realistic scenario because contractors love working night.

Ok, so Angela is listening to recordings of faulty interactions and making simple corrections when she comes across a recording that sounds like a crime, but there's some loud music or feedback or some sort of interference that makes it difficult to hear exactly what is happening. So she downloads the audio file and using what I can only imagine is the free version of the worst audio app ever, she is unable to remove all of the background noise to focus in on the vocals. So she goes to her closet and breaks out a relic audio decoder from 1994 that she hooks up to her computer and is finally able to eliminate all the noise and she discovers that a woman was murdered. This is obviously a bad thing that happened.

So Angela does what any reasonable person would do and she alerted the authorities. SIKE! She emailed her boss, who then called her via video call and told Angela to never email him stuff like that again and suggested that she just clear the error and go about her life. He is apparently perfectly ok with their devices recording murder things and sweeping it under the rug and he just wants all of this to go away. So I'm just gonna assume this guy is an all around a-hole and terrible person. Also, his kids are out of effing control. So he's also a terrible parent. Shocker.

But Angela doesn't like his proposal so she has to practically beg him to give him the name of someone else in the company that he could report this to. And by beg, I mean that she simply asks and he gives her a name even though like 3 seconds ago he wanted to pretend like none of this even existed.

So Angela calls this lady at the corporate office like a dozen times in what I can only assume takes place over the course of maybe 2 or 3 hours. The secretary assures Angela that big corporate boss lady will call her back that day. And eventually big corporate boss lady does call her back and tells Angela to come to her office and they'll call the FBI.

So Angela puts on her big girl pants and ventures out into the world and meets boss lady at her office. Boss lady tries to pressure Angela into giving her the recordings and Angela insists they call the Feds. So boss lady excuses herself from the office for a few minutes. Then Angela notices that the secretary is gone and the only people who remain are 2 guys in black suits walking towards her. So she runs, but not very fast. The 2 guys run after her, but they do so at a safe following speed rather than full blown pursuit speed. They almost get her, but she's too quick for them because I don't think they were really trying.

Now Angela decides to go straight to the FBI office in Seattle, which according to her phone is like a 25 minute walk. Naturally she opts to do this instead of hailing a taxi or calling for an uber because who the bleep knows why?

She arrives outside a building and there's some sort of protest going on. Just as she's about to walk through the crowd, a black van pulls up and one of the guys who chased her before grabs her and pulls her inside the van. But this catches the attention of some protestors who spring into action doing what protestors do best....obstructing traffic. Luckily, the hitman in the driver's seat seems to have a moral code that prevents him from running people over, so he instead threatens them with the prospect of being run over by revving the engine a couple of times, but our intrepid mob doesn't budge. This gives Angela (who appears to be about 5'5/105lbs) enough time to overpower her assailant (who is like 6'/200lbs) and open the back door of the van where some protestors grab her and pull her to safety. She runs away and I have no idea what happened to the hitmen, the van, or the protestors. Side note: I'm not even sure what they were protesting for (or against), but I hope it was a successful venture that brought about positive change.

So now Angela arrives near another building, which I assume was the actual FBI office. She spies a shady looking character who she believes may be one of the men chasing her so she tries concealing herself among other pedestrians and a bus stop structure. Personally I think she would have been better off disguising herself like a trash can and moving a couple of feet at a time.

So the shady looking dude see her. I'm serious. He is looking right at her. And now he's walking towards her. Except he wasn't. He was actually looking at a woman who approached him from a significantly different angle. I assume he had 2 lazy eyes and that it only looked like he was looking directly at Angela but he was really looking like 30 degrees to her left. That was intense.

So now Angela is in the clear until some blonde lady calls out to her like they know each other. Angela stops and another passerby appears to jab her with something. Suddenly, Angela is looking a little woozy and collapses into the arms of the blonde woman and....surprise!....one of the hitmen. They throw her into the van and take her back to her apartment. The blonde lady is never seen again.

As the 2 hitmen are trying to carry Angela to her apartment, they are met at the building entrance by the previously unnamed stalker guy from across the street. He greet Angela and is promptly stabbed by one of the hitmen, but during this commotion Angela breaks free and gets into the building, runs to her apartment and is able to get in a slam the door shut just before one of the hitmen can get her. She's finally safe. Except she isn't.

There's a THIRD hitman already in her apartment and he has a gun. He opens the door and the other 2 hitman enter and they are dragging the stalker guy, who is still alive.

Angela and stalker guy are sitting on the couch and the hitmen are trying to determine if Angela has any more copies of the recordings. She eventually tells them they are on her laptop. As the hitmen go to retrieve the files, Angela asks how stalker guy knew her name and he basically admits that he had been searching her online.

While the hitmen are on Angela's laptop, Angela's mom calls via Facetime, which seems to sort of freak out the hitmen for a moment. Angela tells Kimi to answer the call on her laptop, and mom shows up and can see these hitmen dudes and she's like "WHAT THE F" and the hitman slams the laptop closed.

Then Angela tells Kimi to turn off all the lights and to play Sabotage by the Beastie Boys (RIP MCA) and she runs to the closet and climbs through an access panel in the ceiling that takes her to the upstairs apartment that is under construction. From here, she channels her inner-Bruce Willis from Die Hard and rigs a nail gun with duct tape so that it can be fired freely. She then comes back to her apartment and kills all of the hitmen with the nail gun.

Then she calls 911 and her booty call friend from across the street shows up with flowers because he wants to be more than just a booty call. The next day she meets him outside at the taco truck. The CEO of Kimi is arrested but we have no idea what happened to any of the other people who were complicit in the cover up and/or attempted murder of Angela (her supervisor, boss lady, the blonde woman). And what about stalker guy? Was he just allowed to go free and keep being all stalkery?

It was just a really bland movie with hitmen who were unintentionally comically incompetent and some of the most incomplete storytelling ever. The one positive was Zoe Kravitz. She played the role of a completely neurotic shut in very well, but that's the only bright spot from this otherwise terrible movie.

The King's Man (2021)

Decent movie, but horribly out of place.

[6/10 · 19 February 2022]

On its own, this isn't a bad origin story, but where the movie falls short is in the way it was filmed and showcased. The original Kingsman and The Golden Circle were fun and obnoxious and over the top in every possible way. Everything was excessive and the movies didn't take themselves too seriously, while this one felt far more subdued and stoic. In short, it simply doesn't fit with the other 2. That said, there's nothing wrong with the movie itself. It's a solid story with strong performances and the fight scenes are very well done. I just wish that this prequel didn't abandon the cartoonish style that made the first two so enjoyable.

8-Bit Christmas (2021)

Not Quite A Christmas Story

[7/10 · 8 December 2021]

Starting out, this seemed like it was just going to be an 80s version of A Christmas Story. There's a kid and he wants a Nintendo and the entire world seems to be conspiring against him. There's a bully, a sibling, some day dreaming/fantasies, and a dad who wears big furry hats. And of course it's set in the mid-west.

But somewhere along the way this movie takes on a life of its own that separates and distinguishes it from the aforementioned holiday classic.

There's plenty of 80s nostalgia for people of a certain age that will bring a smile to your face. The majority of the movie, while not great, remains pretty even while squeezing in some cheeky humor.

But the end. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that kind of tear jerking ending, but it got me nonetheless.

I mean, I'm not crying you're crying.

Can't really say that I see this movie finding a place among the holiday classics and becoming a must see holiday tradition, but it's definitely worth a watch, particularly if you're looking for something new.

Finch (2021)

I want to watch Castaway without watching Castaway.

[5/10 · 13 November 2021]

It's basically Castaway except it's set in a post apocalyptic world instead of a deserted tropical island. And the volleyball is a robot. Or maybe it's a dog. It might also be another robot. There's some room for interpretation here.

Oh, and he has cancer instead of a toothache. Thats kind of a downer.

But it's Tom Hanks, so of course you're going to watch it and I'm not even trying to stop you. I'll probably watch it once or twice more because I'm pretty sure I've seen every Tom Hanks movie at least twice and I'm not about to let this movie break that streak. Just understand going in that this might be the laziest movie ever made. 1* movie, but Hanks automatically adds 4* because he's Tom-freaking-Hanks.

The New Legends of Monkey (2018–2020)

Meh

[5/10 · 18 September 2021]

Reminds me of the Hercules and Xena Warrior Princess shows from the 90s. Pretty mediocre stuff all around. Made it about 5 eps and I'm just not able to keep going with it.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Awful. Just awful.

[1/10 · 26 May 2021]

This movie is so bad that I'm not even going to bother dissecting it and telling you all of the reasons why it's quite possibly the worst movie ever made.

Raising Dion (2019–2022)

A Perfect Storm (Pun Intended)

[9/10 · 5 March 2021]

Even though the show had plenty of rave reviews, I was still hesitant to watch because I generally find shows/movies featuring child actors to be less enjoyable. It's not that I don't like kids, but child actors are obviously not very experienced actors and it tends to show, particularly when it comes to dramatic and emotional sequences. That said, I still decided to give it a watch because I'll watch pretty much anything that's either sci-fi or a comic book adaptation and I am so glad I started watching this.

There's so many great things about this show that should be appealing to people who generally shy away from sci-fi and comic shows because this show is so much bigger and broader than that. Yes, representation matters and the cast of this show is practically a rainbow coalition. It (briefly) addresses racism and what it's like for a young black child to experience it for the first time and also the impossible task of how a parent has to try and deal with it and explain it to a child. There's also gay, lesbian, and handicapped representation and all of these characters are strong, brave, and capable individuals who bring depth and value to the story. The acting throughout is strong and consistent and the story flows seamlessly for the most part. My only complaint is that there's only 9 episodes. I feel like just 1 or 2 more eps would have allowed for a couple of the smaller story arcs within the big arc to develop and fill out a little more.

Speaking of acting, let's talk about Ja'Siah Young as the show's focal point. This kid is just incredible. I never once throughout S1 felt like I was watching a child actor. I just felt like I was watching an 8 year boy reacting to the world and his circumstances in real time. He is funny and sensitive and intuitive. A lot of the credit goes to the writers for giving him the dialogue that you'd expect from a kid his age, but he pulls off everything about as flawlessly as you could expect. If I had to sum up his performance in one word, that word would be natural.

Lastly, this is legitimately something that can be enjoyed by the entire family. My kids are grown, and I enjoyed this on my own as a fully functional 40something year old man-child. I only wish this show would have come out 10 years ago so that I'd have something to watch with my kids when they were younger that we would all enjoy. If you have kids between the ages of 5 and teenager and you struggle to find things to watch as a family, then I strongly recommend giving this a look. And if you don't have kids or, like me, they're already grown and out of the house, don't sweat it, this show is still for you.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Bad on every possible level.

[1/10 · 10 January 2021]

Here's what I like: Gal Godot as Wonder Woman. She's an excellent choice for the role and I hate to see her portrayal of WW totally wasted by inept writing, casting, and production.

Here's what I don't like: Literally everything else.

There's practically no action, and when there is it looks and feels entirely fake and choreographed.

The villains aren't particularly villainous, the story is boring, full of holes, and at times just not making any sense.

The final fight scene with Cheetah was rushed and poorly executed and I don't even know what the hell it was that happened between WW and Max Lord.

The entire movie just felt like a throwaway from start to finish. It's like they tried to copy the same formula used for Thor Ragnorok and failed miserably.

Why are the cheesy Arrowverse shows on the CW infinitely better than any of these big budget DCEU movies?

Arrow (2012–2020)

Enjoyable from start to almost finish.

[7/10 · 29 August 2020]

Without giving away any details, I'm simply going to say that the final 2 seasons were tough to watch. The overall story being told here was fun and exciting and the weaving of past and present was fairly well done. Maybe the final season would have been more enjoyable had it not been crammed into just 10 episodes. It seemed rushed and convoluted and sloppy.

Good acting: Stephen Amell - Oliver David Ramsey - Diggle Emily Bett Rickards - Felicity Paul Blackthorne - Quentin Lance (probably the best performance of the series) Rick Gonzalez - Rene Ramirez

Ok acting: Wila Holland - Thea Colton Hayes - Roy Harper Echo Kellum - Curtis Juliana Harkavay.- Dinah

Terrible awful horrible kill me now acting: Katie Cassidy - Laura Lance Every child actor in the series

Code 8 (2019)

Dollar Store X-Men

[1/10 · 16 April 2020]

Simply put, this is a really bad movie. It's as lazy and cookie cutter as it gets. It's a blatant rip off of X-Men, and not just because it's a movie about "enhanced" (mutant) people with special abilities, but also with their portrayal of them as being hated and feared by society and the presence of a special robot police force - the Guardians - used against them. That's an obvious Sentinel rip off.

Aside from all that, the story is tired and lame. A boy turns to crime to help his sick mom. But this is no ordinary boy. He can produce and control electricity. He's not very good at it though because his mom raised him without teaching him to really use his powers. So another mutan...I mean....enhanced person teaches him to master his abilities in a rigorous 3 day training program where he has to shut off a car alarm and provide power to a half dozen floating light bulbs. There might have been an online certification class as well, but I can't be certain.

This movie is full of plot holes, cliches, unnecessary moments, and abandoned arcs. It's also extremely predictable. It's like 3 different people each wrote their own story and then someone shuffled all the pages together, removed half of them and said "Here's our movie."

Do yourself a favor and skip this one.

The Replacements (2000)

Fun movie despite obvious mental handicap of practically everyone involved with writing, directing, and production.

[5/10 · 29 July 2019]

It's got plenty legitimately funny moments and lines and the cast turns in a fairly credible performance even though they have some awful material to work with. The biggest problems with this movie is the god awful directing and editing along with a blatant disregard for even a semi-realistic story about replacement players taking over when the primary players go on strike.

1. Why are there replacement cheerleaders? Cheerleaders don't have a union and have no bargaining power. Players go on strike, cheerleaders don't.

2. In the game against San Diego, Washington lines up for an onside kick. Before the kick, John Madden explains in the background that they need to recover the kick and call for a timeout. Bateman recovers the kick for Washington and runs around trying to score before he is tackled by Falco. Falco then calls a timeout. In no world would a QB ever be on the field for a kickoff. There's also no need to call a timeout after a kickoff is blown dead, as the clock stops anyway. I'm sure John Madden made mention of this to the director or someone.

3. Leading up the game against Dallas, (striking) Washington star QB Martel makes it known that he is crossing the picket line to return to the team. Ownership happily welcomes him back and Falco is released. Apparently in this world there are also no backup QBs .

4. During the Dallas game, Falco returns during halftime and is told to suit up. Eventhough he is no longer under contract and not on the official game day roster, he is allowed to return to the field with no objection from the refs or the opposing team.

5. During the Dallas game, Bateman and Smith (both of whom play on defense) are in the offensive huddle and promptly execute a 20 yd run play eventhough they had never worked with the offense before.

6. The production values of this movie are soooooooo effing awful, especially the music. At times it seemed more like a broken record rather than professional grade music editing.

But in spite of its glaring flaws and poor execution, I can't not watch this movie whenever I come across it on TV. There's just something about this horribly made movie that gets me. Nearly 20 years later and I still get a kick out of it.

50 First Dates (2004)

A RomCom with actual romance and comedy

[8/10 · 19 July 2019]

Look, I'm a 40something year old dude. I don't do RomComs, which is probably why I'm just now seeing it for the first time...15 years after its release.

This might be the happiest and saddest movie I may have ever seen. Not gonna lie...I teared up a couple times and I laughed a lot, too. Somehow Adam Sandler (Henry) manages to be incredibly believable in his devotion to Lucy. Oddly enough, one of the only other RomComs I've ever enjoyed in my life was The Wedding Singer. That was a more typical Sandler movie, but he and Barrymore definitely seem to have some sort of on screen chemistry that makes their characters feel more real and that is felt abundantly throughout this movie.

There were a few times throughout where the movie felt like it might slip back to the "usual" romcom story and also a few jokes that are typical for Sandler, but all in all, I didn't feel like I was watching a romcom or Sandler...I was simply watching a pretty good movie that hit across the emotional spectrum. Really well done overall.

Never Been Kissed (1999)

Sooooooo....

[1/10 · 19 July 2019]

We just gonna ignore the fact that the teacher was totally going to pursue an intimate relationship with a female student he believed to be a minor?