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barneyrootbeer
Reviews
Stranger in Our House (1978)
Oh Wesley...
What can old Barney say except this film was real bad. It's a TV movie and Craven directs it like one - big long takes of people spouting the most truly hilarious dialogue you can imagine... It is funny to think this was the same guy that made Nightmare on Elmstreet.
The entire film is shot on the brightest of days and this serious doesn't help in building any terror but strangely it does enhance that play on teenage anxiety, jealousy and insecurity and I guess this is what keeps you watching to the end - you can identify with that position of being a teen again and all the terror (and boy oh boy that's real terror) that goes with it - if only the dialogue, plotting and direction (sorry Wes) wasn't so bad. Oh and the acting...don't get me started!
Red Water (2003)
oh the shame
It's a shame that us American seem to be so totally incapable of making low budget horror movies when those all around us - The Japanese and the Brits are miles ahead. The whole film is just so throw away and the special effects are terrible. This is a real old fashioned boring mess...
Darkhunters (2004)
Only the British...
The chances are you won't see another film like this all year. After the lackluster films at San Sebastian and most of the rubbish that graces the video shelves, this film is sheer delight! It is more fantasy than horror so beware. The film opens with the Carol Miller (played by the beautiful Susan Paterno) chasing and killing a girl before telling us how she came to this predicament - cue flashbacks and the story proper as we thrust headlong into a world of demon cats, soul hunters and private investigators. There is no escaping the fact that this film is frankly rather odd - a ten minute ghost story is inserted into the plot midway through - The main demon speaks in subtitles (Van Husen in brilliant form, with or without a voice!) and there is a three minute journey to heaven, amongst other equally strange moment but it all adds up to a highly enjoyable Stephen King meets...what? I don't know - Harry Potter maybe...film.
Black Cadillac (2003)
A near miss...crash and burn
This almost...oh so nearly...but just...not...quite...rises above the standard genre fare. The script is crackling and the performances sharp. The director pushes a talky story along with suspense and tension and some fantastic visuals - it's better than Christine...and then comes the final reel...so horrifically bad that you forget all the good work done up till then...so near yet so far...
The Bog Creatures (2003)
Fun but naff
Ho, ho, ho - the name itself screams at you from the video store - 'rent me, rent me' - or maybe that's just me? If only the film itself screamed 'watch me' or at least 'enjoy me in a camp kinda way'...it doesn't really - but hey I've seen worse.
Cradle of Fear (2001)
Not bad at all
Interesting horror flick. What sets the film apart from most of the other no budget rubbish that we come across on the bottom shelves of Blockbuster is that there are an incredible amount of CGI as well as gore effects. Okay some of it is no exactly great but credit where credit is due a least the man's trying. The biggest downfall though is that it is shot on dv - the curse of all no budget horror films - and it looks as a consequences like...well like dv - and dv don't look good. The film isn't in the slightest bit scary but I dare say it wasn't supposed to be - just good solid gore...I've seen better but I've sure seen worse...
Dog Soldiers (2002)
This is no dog
Those Brits really seem to be churning out great low budget horror movies these days and this is as good as the best of them. The cast is unknown and the effect are second rate but the script crackles with humor and energy and the direction is sharp, flipping with ease between scares and comedy - four outta five!
Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)
The revelation is: No more!
Whilst the rest of the world is giving us films like Dog Soldiers and The Ring we still keep churning out this genre crap - I mean does anyone really need a sixth sequel to a film no one liked in the first place. I mean who watches these...oh wait a minute I did. Shame on me.
Razor Blade Smile (1998)
I smiled
I truly enjoyed this British stab at the vampire genre. The budget is non existent but the script is well written and the concepts are original. It's probably best no to consider the acting for too long but the film is certainly a cut above the norm...