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Reviews
Malevolence (2003)
A long story about when i saw this movie with my dad and friend.
WARNING!!!! THIS COMMENT DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS. I was looking through the movie ads in the variety section and i saw an ad for this movie and i misread the title. I thought it said male violence because its just 1 letter away. So i thought to myself male violence? that sounds like a good movie. Then when i saw the words the single best horror film of the year i was excited because i really like low budget horror movies. Then later when i did an internet search on this movie i found out it was called Malevolence when i saw the poster and it gave the title with dashes between the syllables MA-LEV-O-LENCE. So i invited my friend to go see it with me and he saw me laughing and he asked why and i said that when i first saw the ad for this movie i thought it said male violence and he thought that was just so hilarious. Me my friend and my dad were laughing about that uncontrollably and making jokes about it. A joke that my friend made about it was that if there was a movie called male violence there can be two sequels called female violence and unisex violence and that he was going to say to his English teacher i bet you cant define malevolence the answer is male violence and that he was going to cross out the definition malevolence in a dictionary and change it so that it said male violence. My friend and i were confused about why male violence would be one word. So when we saw the movie when i saw all the dead bodies and human bones in the old broken house i thought to myself oh my god this movie is a ripoff of The Texas chainsaw massacre. What my dad thought about it was when they drive up to the abandoned house they stole that idea from The Texas chainsaw massacre (i thought the same thing with all the human bones in that abandoned house)and when the killer broke through the door he thought okay now he's probably gonno stick his head through the door just like Jack Nicholson in The shining and then believe it or not it happened. Towards the end when the woman closes the fridge door and we see the girl covered in blood i jumped and screamed and my friend laughed. He told me that thats the scaredest he ever saw me of something ever since he ever met me. I liked it because it was so poorly made and has so many things that was used in millions of other horror movies so i rated it 9 out of 10. My friend loved it when i jumped and screamed when i saw the girl covered in blood so he rated it 5 out of 10 but he said that if i never jumped and screamed he would have rated it 3 out of 10. He just couldn't stop thinking about when i misread the title as male violence and when i jumped and screamed. My dad said he would rate it 2 out of 10 but he enjoyed it because some movies are so bad that they are good. I'l never forget the time i saw this movie with my dad and friend.
Collateral (2004)
This movie actually made me laugh so hard.
Despite the fact that this movie was not intended to be a comedy some parts made me laugh so hard that i had to force myself to stop laughing to concentrate on the movie. Such as when the dead body falls on the cab and Jamie Foxx acts all hysterical and when Jamie Foxx is talking on the walkie talkie with his boss and Tom Cruise make him tell his boss that he's an a**hole and that next time he pulls this sh*t he's gonno have to shouve this yellow cab up his fat ass and when Jamie Foxx tries to enter a building by throwing a garbage cam at the glass window and it dosen't break at all. I was laughing so hard and uncontrollably that i was bothering my friend who was sitting next to me.
Total Eclipse (1995)
A line that makes no sense at all.
"SPOILERS" There is a line in this movie that me and my dad almost died laughing to because it made no sense at all. THE ONLY UNBARRIBLE THING IS THAT NOTHING IS UNBARRIBLE I wonder how they ever came up with a line like that. Me and my dad have made jokes about other ways to say that line. Here are some of them.
The only thing i cant stand is that i can stand everything.
Everything is bearable except for the fact that everything is bearable.
Everything is bearable except for the barribility of everything.
The only thing i cant stand is the fact that nothing is unbearable.
The only thing i cant stand is that everything is bearable.
Mondo Trasho (1969)
John waters most boringest movie.
It started out as a kind of interesting movie. But then a few minutes later it really started to get boring. About 40 minutes into the movie i started yawning and i had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I really think this movie would have been better if it were just 10 minutes long.
This movie was not anything like SERIAL MOM or CECIL B. DEMENTED or PECKER. It was just boring and unfunny. So if you wanna see a really good funny john waters movie then watch something like those three movies mentioned above. The picture quality is what you would expect from a movie made on the budget of two thousand dollars back in 1969. So even if you are a fan of john waters this is not the kind of movie you would wanna watch.
Dutch (1991)
I will always love this movie.
The first time i saw this movie. I was 5 years old and i loved it. My favorite part of the movie is when Ed o'neill blows off all those fireworks. This movie is a classic. I give it ten out of ten. This movie never gets old.
Blood Cult (1985)
i actually like this movie just because it is so poorly made.
in the bathroom killing scene at the beggining of the movie the gorey special effects looked so fake. It looked like they used something like hersheys strawberry sauce for fake blood. And in the scene where the cashier in the cafeteria saw the dead body in the garbage container her scream sounded so bad that i almost died laughing. So if you like cheesy poorly made horror movies than this is definately the movie for you.
Beavis and Butt-Head (1993)
my favorite animated tv show.
Beavis and butthead is literally my alltime favorite animated tv series. And back when i was 5 years old to avoid saying the word butt my dad used to call this show beavis and bupphead. I think that my favorite joke in the show is the joke about workers constipaion in the episode called work is death.