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Dark Tide (2012)
1/10
I was rooting for the sharks....
17 March 2012
.... and wishing they'd arrive soon and gobble up the entire cast of this terminally boring movie. But, alas, they didn't; and the thing dragged on and on interminably... until, after what felt like an eternity, it finally reached its always predictable, anticlimactic climax.

What can we say about the cast? It would perhaps be more accurate to describe them as the miscast. Halle Berry looks great. If I went through what she went through in this movie I'd look like something the cat brought in. But even at her most artistically bedraggled, Berry looks as if she could just slip into a D&G dress and sashay down the catwalk in Paris or Milan. Boat skippers have wind-washed complexions. Throughout this movie Berry always looks as if she could have just stepped out of the beauty parlor, with her perfect eye-liner, her manicured nails and her perfect tan. Her hair gets tousled every now and then, but that's about the extent of her dishevelment. If they wanted me to believe that she was the head of a model agency, or the editor of a woman's magazine, I might have bought it. But a shark expert who spends half her life on a boat? No way, Jose. And the rest of the miscast were no more believable.

In fairness, the cinematography was excellent. The sharks were great, too. But they arrived about an hour and twenty minutes too late, for which they will not be lightly forgiven by anyone who got suckered into wasting 94 minutes of their life watching this god awful movie.
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