menvaffan Reviews

Run Hide Fight (2020)

i have myself held the finger on the trigger.

[10/10 · 17 January 2021]

...thinking i would go through with it. I have written books, wrote music albums and got published on the subject. privileged angry incel white boy. but it's just too easy. to find connection and genuine connection with anyone, let alone a whole room of people, now that's a challenge. i thought of a scene (no spoilers) in which the antagonist forces a female teacher to take her bra off. i first got annoyed with that behaviour to depict shooters as nothing but deranged psychos, but then i realised that it would have been the way i would have done it too- to completely disregard any of my own personal codex and just succumb to complete nihilism and why not just let the teachers strip. in that manner this movie spoke to me very realistically. a very important film, beautifully and tastefully shot with great acting and direction. its like Skynd's video Columbine but stretched out over one and a half hours. already movie of the year for me. nowadays i don't have the same HATE in me i had back then, i now have all the resources i need to try and be able to help others with the same type of HATE i had for so many years". all the while very aware of how many others there still are out there who does not have what i have. i am thinking about another scene (no spoilers) in which the protagonist asks "why?" to the antagonist and he answers something in the likes of "because they were always giggling behind my back" and she replies "did you ever think they were giggling just because they were happy?" no other film or book has spoken to me with such clarity on the subject.

King Cnut (2018)

Great DIY feelgood documentary for the trademark nerd.

[10/10 · 26 November 2019]

There are no flashy production values in this documentary but i got instantly hooked on this film, as I myself on a very similar project, currently working from royal art school, Sweden. How a viewer not interested in trademark law would experience this film is beyond me, but I found it hilarious. You don't have to be an expert in trademark law or anything to find this film great but you would need to have an original interest, I believe. Or would this film perhaps create a curiosity in you? Because it's basically a film with people sitting down giving their sides on a continuously escalating trademark infringement. Flashy editing would just be distracting from what goes on in the story. I'm a fashion nerd too so this film was spot on for me. A little Banksy over it too, what with the constant exploration of what's right and what's wrong in a capitalist society. Choose your words wisely...

The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)

Surreal.

[8/10 · 2 November 2019]

How do these people find eachother time and time again in a vast dystopian landscape, populated by what can only be described as shadows? And where are they? Why does Tyler agree to train Zak? How do they build a raft in less than a day? Why does Eleanor tag along? And what are Duncan and Ratboys ulterior motives? As the film progresses we find ourselves on a journey into the more and more surreal, where vague hints of logic seem to only serve as mcguffins. All we know is that the characters all bears trauma. A hauntingly beautiful film.

Stuber (2019)

Loved it.

[10/10 · 3 October 2019]

This is just the kind of stupid feel good action movie i had hoped for. I had overhyped my expectations for it so much that i actually was afraid it was not going to deliver, but it did. Five stars.

Room for Rent (2019)

Nu Horror

[9/10 · 8 May 2019]

Horror even women can get. Obviously inspired from the great Hitchcock. Very blatant and off pacing. Strange glow in the cinematograpghy. Sometimes characters have to yell over the soundtrack. I myself run a record label, which ironically forces me to watch EVERY movie so as to keep up with popular culture. This movie seems really boring, but it kept me on the edge of my seat. And LIN. SHAYE IS. F----NG. KILLING. IT.

Don't Go (I) (2018)

perfect.

[10/10 · 7 March 2019]

I want to marry Melissa George, and have ten thousand of her babies. Im only halfway in to this movie and its as disturbingly sickening like all of her projects are. I normally dont write reviews but this ish right here is awesome. No, i am not on drugs, sadly.

The Producers (2005)

Fantastic.

[10/10 · 11 October 2018]

It feels so good to be crying happy tears for once. Wow what a show!

Crashing (2017–2019)

Can we please talk about pete holmes for a second?

[20 March 2017]

Pete is one of my favourite standup comedians of all times. Now he does this. I'm glad that its on HBO because that LOLLIPOP deserves it. In all of Petes standup routines, his humour is timeless, meaning that it is something you can download in 2020 and it will stiil be as relevant in 1990, to use your discourse. And now he does this, a LOLLIPOP narrative. About a LOLLIPOP divorce. It is like everything the show Louie didn't manage to capture, and nothing else. Noteworthy is that Pete is a better actor than Louie or Seinfled, but again, who isn't. So LOLLIPOP this show, why on earth did he not continue his Conan approved talkshow? Is this the end of his LOLLIPOP? I will keep watching tho, because i care about you, you LOLLIPOP LOLLIPOP.

Get Out (I) (2017)

a race to the race.

[10/10 · 8 March 2017]

Instead of spoiling anything, I just feel like telling you a story of mine considering race. I have myself been working with movies, and one experience I have is how I needed to find a better lighting guy. You see, as soon as we put a black person in front of the screen, the lighting guy just didn't know what to DO. It wasn't about race or anything, he just couldn't figure out how to make the lighting look good on any black actress. It just didn't work on screen. Now I have been waiting for this movie forever, and I am a white privileged man –however white trash-but I live in a racist underdeveloped country (Sweden, oh the irony) so I found it necessary this morning to just download a shitty cam version of it, and all I can think of is how beautifully lit it is even on a cam version, how the light reflects so well on those ebony bodies even in the dark scenes, their white teeth, their genetic frame… and whoops we are back into race again. This movie is very subtle, but always constant, in its remarks on unconscious racism. The direction is ever so slightly off beat sometimes to be subtle, perhaps because it handles issues almost too absurd to handle,but it is truly on the top in the absurdist horror genre right up there with films such as It Follows, The Babadook, and Scream. What this film eventually does is asking the big questions, like where consciousness is even located, which made me respect the script even more. Big ups to Jordan Peele, I seriously didn't think he had this in him, except for the occasional brilliant Key and Peele sketches such as Lil' Homie. Give this nigga an Oscar already. Since these are big questions to handle it never gets too gory, and the slight nuances in the acting is superb. Catherine Keeners evil goddamn chuckle as we remember it from films such as Being John Malkovich is right on spot, and Dexter's sister is brilliant in voice control (the phone scene!). All this being said, there is a contraption men can wear nowadays that with small electrodes let you feel what it is like to have a vagina and go through a period. This movie is as close you can get (apart from wearing a blackface?) from understanding racial tension nowadays. An important and very entertaining movie. You got soul.

Assassin's Creed (2016)

Assassin is basically another word for pothead.

[10/10 · 29 December 2016]

I am a fan of the games myself, at least until they derailed somewhere around the third in storytelling and gameplay, and I really liked this. Heck, they might even have made this just to remind the gaming community exactly what is going on in the story.

It stays true to the popular game series and features incredible views, spectacular stunts, the casting is great, and it discusses interesting notions such as cell memory, conspiracy and freedom of will. Also, the Animus looks as badass as ever, instead of that gay little white chair they had in the games.

Of course, the actual story is as sci-fi and escapist as anything I might have ever seen, and I don't know- it might be a little hard for newcomers to digest, but said newcomers can instead indulge in the fantastic action and Fassbenders ripped abs if they get confused.

The story with the father had me a little confused, and this film derails a little –but at times brilliantly- from the game series in terms of introducing new characters, locations and motifs, but in overall this adaptation did thankfully not let me down at all, and in terms of such I give it a ten out of ten.

Now lets hope that the game series gets back on track.

I saw this on a shitty cam, but it is definitely worth an entrance fee to be experienced in a theatre.

Hardcore Henry (2015)

This reminds me of a graffitifilm we are working on.

[29 May 2016]

it will be a graffitifilm like this one but AFK AF, with some of the more strange scenes I have ever seen in my whole graffiticarreer, featuring unique music from people such as Slipknot. Look it up on youtube shortly, just type "Wasateds Sweden graffiti." The Wasateds word is important to remember here. That being said. Hardcore Henry is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Everything is spot on- the directing, the script, the oneliners, the gamingreferences, the lot. I have been following the development for quite some time if you will. Jesus, wasn't it even on Kickstarter? I have been following the director and the development of the groundbreaking technology used in this. And the result is remarkable. Oh, and Sharlto Copley is a personal hero of mine, great to see him here.

The Lobster (2015)

This why we only listen to electro music.

[9/10 · 8 February 2016]

I love this quote machine of a masterpiece. This is very Kafkaesque, and done just right as a satire, instead of pictures such as "Deep dark", which are very commendable, brave and fun, but tend to escalate into pure flimsiness and really rub it in your face how "edgy" they are. No, the photography, directing and acting in this flick will keep you on the edge of your seat throughout. I myself see myself as an easily distracted guy, I must admit I tend to get a little bored by drama, but the subtle tone of this film, the comedy and absurdity of the human condition had my eyes peeled throughout the film. I dare already say one of the best films of this year. What I myself being a writer find most noteworthy in the interaction and dialogue is how the pressure of society get really obvious when they flip the script like they have done here; Our modern world WORKS JUST THE SAME, but instead of how things are in our modern real life society, the characters here do their very best to parade their perfect treats and are all painfully honest about their disadvantages, but also invent new ways to lie, when the stake is that society will turn them into beasts and leave them in the woods if they can not mate. Because, as they say "two is obviously better than one, this is a reminder". Every characters antics and actions makes perfect sense in this fully logical context, where even just standing alone by yourself in a shopping mall will not only be frowned upon -it will have dire consequences. A brilliant portrait, analysis and analogy of what loneliness is. Let this remind you of death. It won't get more fun and stylish than this.

The Woman (I) (2011)

Who wants to go down to the cellar with me?

[10/10 · 21 January 2016]

A friendly family finds a wild woman in the woods and decides to domesticate her. You don't need to know much else. It's not very scary though so don't worry. You can watch this with your significant other. You should, actually. Every actor is doing just brilliantly in this film, and the direction has a little offbeat delivery which I love. This is feminist, in an absurd way, and absurd feminism is what we all love and cherish.

It questions the nature of the Household itself, and it speaks volumes about the inherent rage and lust in human beings. Please take note also how every character throughout the movie evolves together with the Woman, it's just damn good writing right there. Great soundtrack too, with no respect for pacing, just as it should be. One of the best intelligent horror films I have ever seen, right up there with Scream, Babadook, and It Follows. Free her from herself, from her baser instincts! Christ this movie is just a quote machine.

The Gift (VI) (2015)

well, that was awesome.

[8/10 · 27 October 2015]

What you can expect from this flick is awkwardness. Awkwardness of our lives spun into a thriller. Nice to see how they have incorporated awkward into the very cinematography. All acts are really good and the directing is really good. No spoilers: Nice to see how they made it into a sort-of revenge story gone horribly wrong as well.

This is a well made piece that says a whole lot about the human condition, in all its sadness.

Sidenote: interesting how all the 8/10 IMDb reviews are the most interesting flicks. You know its always about 1-10 but as soon as you have an 6-8, it is probably a damn good film.

It Follows (2014)

One of the best movies I have ever seen.

[10/10 · 2 June 2015]

This is as metaphorical as The Babadook, as paranoid as The Ring, and as hard hitting as Fight Club. I don't get scared easily, but this one was just as scary as Utopia, and as romantic as Amelie.

I don't like scary movie soundtracks much, but this ones reminds me of Drive, and the one theme is as good as Silent Hill's.

I have watched tons and tons of film, and this one is right up there along with Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

An homage to the director for bringing up such as bizarre, fascinating, an unexplainable phenomenon as Sex. I have myself written and produced many scripts, music and books on the same subject and from different angles (excuse the pun), some published, but I have always met opposition on many levels when trying to delve in and explain this phenomenon. Be it from financiers not daring to touch the subject or be it from horrified parents. I feel like the best piece of fiction in any medium ever ever ever has been done here, and so done is also my own work. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can now find new horrors in modern society to try and shine light on. I can now find peace. Seriously, it is that damn good and important, this film.

This one pulls of to describe teen-ridden angst while it is eerily sexy and scary as s**t at the same time.

Great cast, great direction, great script, great subject, great angle, great f***ing film (pun intended).

And for the horrified parents; this is probably the best prophylactic/cautionary tale.

John Wick (2014)

Zero stars.

[13 January 2015]

Willem Dafoe is bad at aiming: So my guess is that this is some old stunt-friend of Keanu's who now directs his first full length feature and Keanu has simply agreed to help out. Because the directing is silly, the script is bad, the dialogue is laughable at best, the plot is weak, Keanu is as "whoa" as always, the other actors are ludicrous, the characters are not believable, the hardrock guitars in every fight is cliché, and for me as a swede it is fun to see Mikael Nyquist in a film, but my guess is that he only got cast because his English pronunciation is so cheesy. If you want to see an awesome movie without a plot, solely based on constant fighting and violence that feels, go watch The Raid instead. This is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen, and the first time I give anything zero stars. Not even a soundtrack featuring Marilyn Mansons weakest song to date saves this.

The Babadook (2014)

Warning: Don't have kids.

[10/10 · 21 December 2014]

This is a very realistic tale about a single distraught mother descending into madness since life just being what it is, through the eyes of her own and her child. I have seen this too many times in real life. I have seen this in, sadly, nearly every relationship around me, including my own horrible upbringing, which eventually led to both my father and my mother committing suicide in very messy ways. We're talking most of my friends, my own family, and as an example; this new girl that I'm seeing. She has a four year old daughter who is awesome, but she's stubborn and a piercing yeller, and had they not been brought into my life as well as I in theirs just a couple weeks ago, things would have gone horribly wrong. I've just met her, and we are still trying to work things out regarding her and her daughters safety from themselves. Don't have a family. Don't have kids. Don't create life because, as they say in this film, life will be very treacherous and circumstances will soon make you find yourself alone in situations which neither you, your friends or ANY government authority can handle. Why would you want to inflict the very pain of existence upon your own child, should you have one? Why would you want to create a family just to have something to do, to have someone to be accountable to, to create meaning of your own life. Creating life is a selfish act which has, will and do murder us all. It's not that you shouldn't be happy, go ahead be happy, have sex and lots of it and have fun. But be careful, because you are literally giving the child you will have all the horror it will experience. And prolonging the human race is not necessarily a reward in itself, because you haven't even figured out why YOU are in the first place, you haven't even figured out why existence IS in the first place, and all the nightmares it can provide your family with, should you have one. On the surface this is a horror story about a child's book. Great acting, scripting, direction, everything. And very creepy as well, without any jump scares. But at the end of the day, this is a warning. You shouldn't play god, no matter how safe you think you play. Because in 999999 times out of a million , this will happen. Parents projecting and passing on their own demons onto their children. Your children. I don't even have to promise you, just look around.

Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

I like it a lot

[7/10 · 14 December 2014]

So the thing is: a lot has happened since the first classic came out, the original audience has grown, matured, become adult and cynic, the world has changed in a billion ways, and you can find a lot edgier and epic humor in the latest episode of South Park. But this is also the charm of this sequel. It is just as the nineties: the same style of direction, just as dumb, and just as sexist. Christ, this movie is dumb, Harry and Lloyd is dumber than ever, original fans (most of which now have kids of their own) will recognize themselves, and newcomers will probably laugh with this film as much as I do. A true sequel, true to it's nature.

The Homesman (2014)

Good stuff

[7/10 · 21 September 2014]

This is a great movie which in its offbeat dramaturgy depicts the unpredictability, pointlessness and hardships of life. And it does so with an underlying sense of humor which is almost Kafkaesque and absurd. Don't let the settings fool you –this is not a western flick, it is timeless, and it serves as a tasty, simple snack for the already thinking viewer. All "plotholes" pointed out by other reviewers actually makes sense when thinking about them, and once again kudos to the unpredictable, non-conformant, "non-template-A" storyline and character arcs which should be seen more in film and television.

A little too much use of "fade-in fade-out" in the cutting, a little unrealistic portrayal of mental disease, and a little uninspiring photography IMO actually, but otherwise a great flick for the thinking person. With guns.

Need for Speed (2014)

What a ride!

[8/10 · 2 September 2014]

Wow. This is a perfect popcornflick. Jesse Pinkman is perfect in the role of whoever it is, trying to exact revenge on whatevs. He is almost TOO intense without overacting, no seriously, he is like James Dean, Stuntman Mike and Vin Diesel put together. And this is a far more charming flick than any of the ones in the Fast And The Furious series, with way more memorable oneliners, intense chases, and believable story.

And I myself are not even at all into cars.

Watch this with your beloved.

Oh, and Michael Keaton is in it. He was Batman, for Christ sakes! Oh, and from my research I hear that there are no CGIs in this unlike all other spew out there, all car crashes happens for realsies. Oh, and how often does it happen that licensefilms based off of games are this good? Oh, but it should be noted though that I was very drunk throughout the whole movie.

Great film.

Big Bad Wolves (2013)

Summary: Torture.

[9/10 · 21 August 2014]

Since I am actually, surprisingly -and against the opinion of my doctors- a NORMAL person I dislike watching and/or executing violence.

Channel 4's Utopia is the best thing I have ever witnessed, and I still can't watch "that" scene.

Mostly because my life is filled with enough violence as it is, and the torture in this movie is pretty much exactly what I have myself witnessed in my days, AFK IRL. I hate it and I don't need it.

I am halfway into this movie as I write this and I know that Tarantino is an overrated sadist and I know that part of being human is being vicarious, which I myself find insanely stupid, which is why I have officially denounced my own humanity. I am humanoid, yes, but not human. Because humanity equals retarded. This hell which you are condemning yourself to is your own creation.

Now... lets watch the rest of this movie shall we? Let's see...

Yup. Loved it. Violence is always wrong, but hey... intelligent violence always works. This was a satirical, important, wow-experience, must-see roller-coaster.

This film has made me question my own sanity and morals. And I'm half- Jewish myself so I can really relate to the environment. The Israelis invented Krav Maga, you simply don't want to f*** with them. Oh, and Tarantino is a t***, but he was right on this one.

Enemy (2013)

Yet another "Explanation" (Spoilers)

[9/10 · 25 April 2014]

There are far better user reviews and subjective analysis on this gem of a film, but this is my, slightly retarded, take on it:

Everything that we see happen, actually happens. Yes, both Adam and Anthony exist and happens to be two exact copies of each other. What?? Weirder things than that happens every day! Look it up! And all the giant spiders we see everywhere are just either one of them dreaming/hallucinating/being at a fancy brothel.

So that's that. Solid acting from the talent as usual, nice directing, tempo and sound, and nice that Fraser Ash has got a second job to fall back on as a bellhop, too ;)

Very, very meta.

Son of God (2014)

I have only read a few of these user review titles, and I already have a pretty nasty feeling of what is going on.

[1/10 · 24 March 2014]

Now I myself am a believer of an internal -not external- God, quantum physics, and even Jesus, but after reading a few of the titles and ratings of the user reviews -not the reviews themselves, just scrolling through- and then seeing the first ten minutes of this piece of absolute insanity, I clearly now see what fundamentalism can do to people.

These honest people writing these user reviews honestly think this way about their Lord and Saviour. They honestly think that this is a remarkable piece of filming, just because it exists.

How is this a "Fight Club"? How is this a "Utopia"? How does this film make you REFLECT in any way? Good luck, humanity.

Me, as a thinking person, will now take my responsibility and watch through the rest of this film, as I did with the Bible, and I have a feeling that I will not change my opinion on organized, right-wing,(and for some reason)americanized religion.

The Bag Man (I) (2014)

Wow. John Cusack is pathetic.

[1/10 · 4 March 2014]

Just to get this out of the way- this movie is garbage. You will not enjoy this film if you have a brain. Yes, the story involves potentially awesome stuff like a motel, a mysterious woman, smart references to literature... And a bag. You know, a bag! A bag you know, with contents of some sort! Now, since Being John Malkovich, it fascinates me how horrible every single movie is, that John Cusack has been in. My thesis is that the business is simply out of fresh ideas. Having said that, all hail channel 4's series Utopia. David Grovic "directing" is simply horrible. Nice job, Hollywood. Oh, and Robert Deniro is in it as well. F him, F this movie, and F John Cusack. I literally had to watch through the endcredits just to witness the names of who would have participated in creating this absolute ********.

The After (2014 TV Movie)

No

[1/10 · 21 February 2014]

In one episode, they fire off everything and anything which could be deemed awesome, such as a bunch of strangers including a clown getting trapped in an elevator, a wrongfully accused man, helicopters exploding, mysterious tattoos, references to the bible, dying bees, a whole street of people running around screaming stuff, weird looking aliens whispering mysterious things, a drunken irishman, guns, guns, guns, explosions and such. And they do this with no finesse and with horrible timing, direction and acting. Channel 4's Utopia is still the best thing I have ever witnessed, where they manage to literally include everything about everything in just 6 episodes whereas this show is just trying too hard in one episode, to the very point of ridicule. Rich people with dreams of directing and too many ideas, ideas, ideas. F this piece of garbage. Nice to see Jamie Kennedy getting a part though. We miss you man.