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Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956)
Pointless movie
After watching both the preceding Godzilla movies from Japan I was looking forward to continuing the series but five minutes into 'Godzilla, King of Monsters' I was horribly disappointed. This movie is basically a collection of clips from the original Japanese movie with an American actor shoehorned in to sell it to a western audience with some horrible dubbing of the Japanese actors so the audience doesn't have to read pesky subtitles. If you've seen the original (much better) movie then there is no need for this to exist. Too be honest this is lazy film making for people that can't be bothered to read subtitles.
The Marvels (2023)
RIP MCU
How the mighty have fallen. When Marvel first introduced Iron Man to the big screen and gave birth to the MCU it was obvious to all us nerds that we were watching a product made by people like us for us. For 23 movies Marvel gave us a cohesive, coherent, fun and exciting universe that culminated in a two part Avengers story that had us laughing, cheering and crying together in theatres. Sure not all the movies were great but even the bad ones added to the overall lore being built. But alas like all good things in Hollywood the MCU has now been co-opted by corporate interests and we are now getting sub par (at best) drivel that is more about ticking boxes and selling Disney+ subscriptions than it is about telling good stories.
Which brings us to The Marvels which is as bland, boring and soulless as you can get from a big budget superhero movie. Sure it looks good and the cast give it their best but nothing can paper over the cracks of what is a shockingly bad script, story and direction. The main villain is so completely forgettable that even while watching the movie I had no idea what her name was (I still don't) and at no point during the (mercifully) short run time were there ever any stakes. When the movie descended into a ridiculous Disney musical around the halfway mark I totally checked out. This movie is horrible to the point where I'm not sure I can take this universe seriously anymore. After movies like The Eternals, Thor Love and Thunder, Quantumania and shows like She-hulk, Secret Invasion and Echo it's obvious that Marvel is no longer trying to produce quality products. It's a shame to see the death of the MCU but all good things must come to an end. Sadly unless someone can rescue Marvel from Disney there is no coming back from this mire of mediocrity.
Nope (2022)
Nope!
I don't get it it. Seriously I don't get it. Why do people think Jordan Peele is a good film maker? From beginning to end I was bored out of my goddammed mind and could not wait for this to end. Only my stubbornness and refusal to quit saw me through to the end of this shockingly bad movie. Again, I don't get it. I will not be back for Peele's next project. I'm done.
Firestarter (2022)
Oh boy
30 minutes into this and I lost the Will to live. Absolutely terrible movie that it soulless, bland, poorly directed and just plain boring. I had to tap out. Apologies if the second half of this movie is the greatest thing ever made but you could not pay me to sit through this entire snooze fest. I didn't care what happened to anybody in this movie. If you can't care about the protagonists it's pointless continuing to watch.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
Under rated gem
For those of us who are old enough to have been around when this movie was released it is easy to have a higher opinion based purely on nostalgia. Is this a great movie? No. But it ticks all the boxes for those of us living in that late '90's. Plus (shoot me) Jennifer Love Hewitt is insanely hot which never hurts. Overall a fun movie for those of us who lived through that period in time. Not a classic by any stretch but from a nostalgic point of view it hits all the spots.
The Perfect Weapon (2020)
Watch out everyone! It's the Russians!!!!
What started out as an interesting documentary on the dangers of cyber terrorism quickly descended into the usual played out Russia bad, America good nonsense we've been bombarded with for the last 5 years. Yet again we have to be told that Hilary Clinton didn't lose because she was a horrible candidate but 'because Russia'. Totally one sided narrative with at best a thin grip on the truth this documentary fails on pretty much every level and should not be taken seriously (unlike the threat of cyber terrorism which sadly is very real).
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
What was that????
Wow what a movie! Compared to this 'the room' is a masterclass of writing, directing and acting. I only wish they could have cast Tommy Wiseau and Elizabeth Berkeley in the lead rolls and let Michael Bay write and direct. That would have been a significant improvement over this horror show of a movie. It's like they tried to make a soft porn movie but forgot to put the porn in. If you want a good laugh it's worth a look but as a movie it ranks amongst the worst ever made