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Reviews
I Am Legend (2007)
I Am Disappointed
I liked this movie much better when it was called "28 Days Later".
Seriously, though, "28" was an extremely well done movie, where this rip-off/re-make of "Omega Man" is the typical load of Hollywood dreck, starring the Stale Prince himself, Will Smith.
Smith just doesn't have the talent to disappear in a role. You always feel like, "Will is hunting deer. Will's dog just died, etc." Also, is it written into his contracts that he has to flash his physique in EVERY film he does? Yuck.
There's nothing really creepy about the mutants,or whatever they are, in this film. "Omega Man" was wonderfully creepy/cheesy with it's sentient mutants. The mutants in this film look very similar to those in "The Descent" (Another superior film), especially when they converge on the Stale Prince's lair in the end. Reminiscent of the scene where Juno is set upon by hordes of the cave mutants.
Really boring, and there just seems to be no purpose to the characters of Ana and Ethan. Too many plot holes to enable you to suspend reality, and a typical Hollywood ending. "Waterworld" did post-apocalyptic much better than this, even if it was something of a dog.
Save your money for "28 Days Later/28Weeks Later", or "Dawn of The Dead", if you like movies of this genre. If you can get past the fact that it's very dated and '70's cheeseball, "Omega Man" is so much better than it's re-make.
Wolf Creek (2005)
Crocodile Bundee
So it does start off a little slow, and sick puppy that I am, was hoping to see the "head on a stick" carried out a little more, but overall a great film.
Comparisons to "Texas chainsaw Masacre" have been made, and it is in that vein somewhat, but does not have a whacko family like in the excellent original TCM, or pointless imitators like "The Devil's Rejects". All you get is Mick, and Mick is more man than you can handle. Mick doesn't spend time running around with other people's faces on, he doesn't resort to excessive profanity to intimidate you, he just drugs, binds, tortures, and kills you. And riffs very briefly on Paul Hogan. Oh, and if you get away, he will very coolly hunt you down and kill you. A worthy villain.
The film works very well by instilling a sense of dread, instead of jumping right into the carnage. As it has been mentioned, the surreal moonscape of the Outback is as unforgiving as Mick. Even if you do get away, where would you go? If the heat doesn't get you, surely the snakes or spiders Australia is famous for will. Or the other Sociopaths back at the filling station may get their turn with you.
The acting is pretty natural, and you really don't want to see these people die. Like "Last house on the Left" it leaves you unsettled and despondent for awhile. The ending was a bit off for me, but the payoff in the "middle" of the film makes up for it.
Unsettling, with simple, raw brutality.
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
The Devil's Re-treads
OK. I saw "House of 1000 Corpses" and thought it an utterly useless, TCM rip-off. But I heard better things about this one, so I went in with an open mind. Unlike Rob Zombie, who does not seem to have an original, or even fresh thought in his head. Otis the crackhead psycho from "House" becomes a Charlie Manson wannabe in this one, and Sheri Moon is the least convincing "bad" girl I have ever seen.
This film first rips off "Last house on the left" with the humiliation/rape/murder scene in the Hotel, with the vapid Sheri Moon ordering one of the female captives to hit the other in the face, hard. Lady, you ain't no David Hess. You are not fit to lace up Jeramie Rain's Keds, for that matter.
We meander to an out of the way bordello, so that we may crib from "From Dusk til Dawn". The film tries to marry '70's grind to films such as "Natural born Killers", with flat attempts to mimic Tarantino-esquire witty repartee. Bill Mosely might have been up to that task, but remember, he's channeling Charlie, and has proclaimed himself the Devil. I guess he's too hardcore for humour.
We have a sheriff who seems to be a direct rip-off from the cop gone bad from NBK, and the Dennis Hopper religious, insane Texas Ranger from the funny TCM sequel (Forget which one, hope you get the point.) We also get a Pimp, a "Bandito", and other stock Tarantino characters.
Finally, this crap ends in a "Bonnie and Clyde" style shootout. Sheri Moon is also no Faye Dunaway.
Every thing Zombie did in his two movies was ripping off every thing you have seen before. Some call it homage. I call it complete lack of talent.
There's a good deal of gore, and of course violence, but Zombie tries to paint his villains as anti-heros, and fails utterly, so the grind is all for naught. Oh, and Rob? Thanks for ruining "Freebird" for me.
Zombie's movies seem like an excuse to give his old lady some work. I grew weary of seeing her posterior. Sheri Moon, you ain't no Tiffany Minx, but porn is surely where you belong.
Caveat Emptor on this one.
Something's Gotta Give (2003)
Something's Gotta Grate
This Movie came on one boring and lazy Sunday, and though I knew it would not be my cup of tea, I gave it a chance. I would have been better served just going in to work some over time, instead.
First, Diane Keaton has to be the most annoying, affected actress I have ever seen. The point of acting is to portray a character, but I have never seen Keaton portray anything but her neurotic, boring self. She won an award for this? The only thing she should have won is a place in the unemployment line.
Second, see above, but put Jack Nicholson's name in place of Keaton's.
The script was treacle, the casting uninspired, and the situations the characters find themselves in are asinine. Viagra and Heart attacks are milked for laughs, and it's just not funny. Amanda Peet is the victim of a bad haircut, nothing more to see from her. Keanu Reeves is basically a cipher. Diane Keaton's character forbids smoking in her house, and whips out a ciggy towards the end. To show what a bad girl she's become? Stupid. A lot of other stupid, vapid stuff happens, but I won't continue to bore with the details.
I'm thrilled I never paid to see this. It's Pablum for menopausal women. Save yourself the rental fee.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Much missing footage, but great concept.
I first saw this film some thirty years ago, as a child. (Went with some teenagers to a drive in, hid under some coats to get in). The one thing I claim is a photographic memory, so I recall a lot which was not in the 84 minute DVD I just previewed.
That seven minutes or so of cut footage mainly came from the scenes in the woods, and had a big impact on the film's violence content. I won't go into that, since there is apparently no way to prove what I saw, so I will have to review the version most of us have seen. I will curse the censors who carved this film up, as those missing scenes take a lot of the impact away.
Many have excoriated the acting, but I was impressed by David Hess and the rest of the "gang". I felt they played their parts to perfection, and one must remember, even in high budget films of the '70's, there was a certain cheesiness to most films of that era. (Deliverance being a notable exception.) The musical score worked for me; The tracks "Wait for the Rain" and "Now you're all alone" in particular were very despondent, and fit the hopeless theme very well.
The low budget, documentary style actually helped the movie. After all, it's a snuff flick at heart. Hard for some to watch maybe, but I appreciate films that allow me to explore my dark side. There's plenty of dark side to view here. It's an excellent film, which takes two or three viewings to appreciate. I found "Deliverance" to be very visceral, and LHOTL to be subtle. Different strokes and all.