teutonfirst Reviews

Nefarious (2023)

Well written

[8/10 · 11 June 2023]

Usually, when it comes to late movies, I tend to believe the low rating reviews, those are right more often than not. This time I had to watch it to make an impression. I was pleasantly surprised, good writing, good acting, interesting take of the religion history. A bold movie considering the latest trends and fails. Is not a ten, obviously, but not a waste of time for sure. Those who considered it to be a one or two stars, have no idea what a good movie looks like, or were plain envious. Not an original subject, like none of the exorcist / exorcism movies are, or haunted ones, but the lack of a priest in the main characters and the presence of an intellectual, made it a interesting watch.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

People pay your taxes

[4/10 · 28 October 2022]

The moral of the story, you can fix your relations with your family members, on several plains of multiple universes, you can get away with plenty of murders and get forgiveness, you can defeat an undefeatable adversary, but you can't escape taxes. That's a strong message. Apart from that, only clichés stolen from another movies, Matrix, Scary movie 5, all the other multiverse movies. Too long on the morality scenes, too boring since we knew how's gonna end a mile away. A solid 5, but far from "The best movie of the year". Women power, of course, It could not be the other way. My 2 cents. 4 stars.

Halo (2022– )

Hallow

[2/10 · 10 May 2022]

Is not about Master Chief is not about the fight of the Convenant, is not about the game franchise, is about the struggle of women in different situations and their frustration that world don't evolve around them the way they like. And give attitude, lots of attitude.

The Batman (2022)

Dragged to much

[4/10 · 20 April 2022]

First of all, Pattinson can't pull the incognito mode, as Mr. Bale did, clear distinction between the young billionaire, philanthropist, play-boy hustle and Batman. R. P was just Batman, a sad one. The fight were meh, so many shots fired at Batman and none hit his grim face... not even a shotgun blast... at some point I thought he's Luckman rather than Batman. The chemistry between the cat and the bat was like a kid playing with dolls that say "now kith". Unnecessary things put on the table like Wayne Sr being a bit of a mobster and nothing about the origin of bat, it's just there. I will not mention the change of some important characters in the skin tone. Too long, too slow, less mystery. I won't recommend.

Ray Donovan (2013–2020)

Why the season 5?

[3/10 · 17 February 2022]

Awful, I couldn't comprehend what were they thinking, so hard to watch, so hard to follow, so all over the place. Unwatchable, inconsistent and the back and forth story was too much. Like having a expensive, rare breed horse and shot it in the leg. Shame!

The Wheel of Time (2021– )

Rushed

[3/10 · 4 December 2021]

At this point (ep 5) in got nothing to do with the books, it's a vision of the director regarding the story. The best thing about this show is that made me read the books, and boy was I delighted. Don't know how could they mess the story that much, most of the time action is in the outdoors, easy to put on scene, since they had the funds. The show it's an solid 5, but the political aspects made me lower the score to 3.

The Last Duel (2021)

Not what I expected

[5/10 · 29 November 2021]

For the first 20 minutes I had no idea what was going on, The plot was dull, action all over the place, by the time I figured out the missing parts, they were showing them in another version of the story, quite boring and not because of the performance of the actors, they were great, the story - not so much - and way too long, all the characters were shady, all had something to hide, all were telling half truths and the right questions were avoided. At some point I didn't care who's right or who will die. The king reflects exactly my mood.

Zeros and Ones (2021)

Below zero

[1/10 · 18 November 2021]

Shaky camera, blurry image, Ethan Hawk, with a mask, more shaky camera, sometimes unfocused, darker image, filming without purpose, or on some objective, more blurry image, then BAM! Car lights, then darkness, unfocused image, and goes on like that till the end, when the big secret is revealed, director was high. The end.

Red Notice (2021)

Kids movie

[5/10 · 13 November 2021]

Ryan couldn't save this one, the same acting like in so many movies, like wonder w, deadpool and fast and furious agent made a movie. Mildly entertaining but not what I was expecting. But hold yer panties there might be e sequel.

Dune (2021)

Goth Dune

[7/10 · 18 October 2021]

The home planet of Atreides is green and lush, but here is dark and gloomy, Harkonnen planet, dark and gloomy, sardaukar base, dark, gloomy and reiny, Dune interiors, dark and gloomy, but the scene where Jessica and Paul are caught by fremens was supposed to be in the dark, everything relayed on senses, instead was just cloudy and made no sense. Too much time spent on irrelevant scenes, like a ship landing or watering the palms and little to explain the relation between houses, Bene Gesserit or Tleilaxu. Chani has modest time in the books here is on the spot from the first scene. They couldn't reenact the fight with shields, is the same as without. Knives are swords, fremen were supposed to look like arabs but, for the sake of the times, they are black, hindu, whites. The floating device of the baron, hilarious as the poison tooth scene. The desert, the heat does not seem to be affecting the protagonist as in the books, so the importance of water seem rather a religious thing than a need. The battle for Dune was too much, way too much. Apart from these they pretty much nailed the important scenes and plots in the book, maybe not the gom jabbar, I couldn't understand the pain.

Copshop (2021)

Not bad

[7/10 · 17 October 2021]

Aside from the obvious BLM influence, the movie was good, good acting, Frank Grillo proves again he's on a roll, main female character did quite a performance, The last part of the end was unnecessary, lost a star cose of that.

Snake Eyes (2021)

This is a terrible idea*

[3/10 · 18 August 2021]

I've seen B movies with a better plot than this one, American Ninja for example. Where did he learn to fight with a sword ? So much non sense and illogical premises is not worth my time mentioning. Are people becoming this dull to pay to see this kind of crap ? Well then, I guess we deserve it.

F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

Holly mother of B,C,D and other low ranked movies!

[2/10 · 29 July 2021]

This one puts to shame anything has been don before in super hero range. Batman and his bat mobile, go hide, Hulk, pff too thin, Rambo, Terminator, just some kindergarten kids. Directors of B movies and below, sharpen your pens and start taking notice on how much lack of logic, inspiration, weird plot, absurdity, one can stuff in a movie, Parody film makers, you couldn't dream of something so huge like this in your entire life, Jim Carrey you were never THIS hilarious. Nobody would be able to come with something new for a thousand years. After this, nothing else would look as bad, nothing will ever impress you (in the worse way), now you have seen them all.

Boss Level (2020)

How did I miss it ?

[9/10 · 29 July 2021]

One of the best action movies ever, Frank Grillo did the performance of his life. Awesome, awesome to the end. Cheers.

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

Action comedy

[8/10 · 4 July 2021]

And is good. Many snowflakes upset by the lack of political correctness or lgbt gave bad reviews, is their right. This movie doesn't try to reinvent the wheel, it's entertaining. Lots of action, dark humor, plot twists, exactly what people want to see after a long day at work. Whoever complain that a movie with S. L. Jackson is too offensive and contains to much of the F word, is not right in his mind to go see the movie and expect something else.

The Tomorrow War (2021)

Tentative

[5/10 · 3 July 2021]

It's a movie you don't fell like watching again in the future.

-good premises, bad logic.

-No tanks (really?) -illogic action, aliens rams 3 Humvees and destroys it without losing a single creature, in other scene one Humvee kills tons of aliens without a sweat.

-bullets do not penetrate the thick skulls of alien, but a piolet does.

-they don't have time to kill the female alien, then after they lose plenty of time trying to avoid it, they kill it with tremendous losses.

-American traditional hero must come from or have a dysfunctional family -gratuitous and unnecessary plot to create drama, there was no point for him to abandon family, but for the sake of above line he does ... -political correctness, the lieutenant returning from future is black, the survivalist veteran is black, the clumsy friend is black, the geek kid is black, for one white actor they had to promote two or more black actors... -the important, leading characters are, of course, women.

-aliens were sleeping secured and well in the organic pods for ages, than a scream woke them up from the sleep inducing soup they were held captives and break free easy.... -the magic alien poison/toxin works like an acid.

-in the brink of extermination, no one is interested in the perfect solution to save mankind (reheheheally ).

This is against all laws of business or capitalism, to make a product to satisfy the few and lose the many as customers.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Feet fetish anyone

[4/10 · 30 June 2021]

The whole action of the movie could have beet cropped in 15 minutes. But thanks to the feet fetish guy, the feet of protagonists get more screen than the actual actors. USA the land of the free and brave got no guns. The monsters are immune to bullets but a 14 years old girl can pierce their head with a pipe. What happened to the tanks, helicopters, fighting jets ? Carriers maybe? It's a meh for me.

Moloch (2020– )

Deep wounds

[11 June 2021]

Not one single character is right in the head, if someone else would try to portray French people like this serial does, French would feel extremely offended. Everyone has 'blesurres' secretes, sad as fk, dark as fk, but important as French cinematography is doing lately ruining the legacy of Jean Paul Belmondo, Alain Delon, Jean Reno, French ppl who actually knew how to act. I didn't rated this yet, being at just second episode, but maaan do they try my nerves with the superior attitude with no substrate.

Wrath of Man (2021)

I saw it as a favour

[7/10 · 26 May 2021]

To launch Eastwood's career, which fell flat. Clint Eastwood's son doesn't know how to act. Fake as f, important as f, but not acting. A little less action as expected from a J. Statham movie, but overall, best of what came out this year.

Army of the Dead (2021)

Nonsensical

[4/10 · 22 May 2021]

Snyder's over dramatic touch was inappropriate for this kind of movie, plus the lack of logic of character's actions , the idiotic "rebelled" daughter that hates her father, the group that is all together then all of the sudden is spread for the sake of the script, the mighty warrior that puts his rifle down to remove obstacle then forgets to pick it up even though he went to battle, in the rush of leaving, yet there is time for chit chat so the bad guy can catch up, for the sake of the script, the zombie crowd that goes on foot 30 stories high building, then on foot to another and yet is faster than an helicopter that went in straight line from roof to roof, so on and so forth. Wouldn't be ironic and satisfactory if some other director makes a proper cut of this movie and blow this new "talent" away. Great action scenes but to what end ? A drop of wine in a bottle of sewer water is still sewer water.

Without Remorse (II) (2021)

The perils

[5/10 · 3 May 2021]

Of the world, according to this movie are the whites, but no worries, the black people got us covered, they are the saviors of us all. They are our last resort. They are the only patriots, the only heroes. The only good doers, the only wiling to do what's right. The only good Samaritans. Where is supposed to be a good person, there is a black one, evil is all white. Apart from that an entertaining movie.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021– )

Rather a teenage movie

[3/10 · 29 March 2021]

After all the trauma and sorrow left behind the death of Tony Stark, the missing cpt America, this two "heroes" act like a bunch a school girls, attitude, anger, daddy issues. Like trying to make some chemistry among the two protagonists, motif so often seen in Disney's cartoons. Didn't buy it. Both have this "I don't give a crap" posture. "Whatever"! The new cpt America looks like a villain and acts like one. Plus the racial trend, made this Serie a "meh".

Monster Hunter (2020)

The magnificent US Army

[7/10 · 20 February 2021]

And the fails in this movie. So according to this, the army training regarding armored enemy is to fire small fire arms and so one, the rocket launcher is just the last resort... But apart from that was an entertaining movie, Milla J. is lovely as always, the cast great, no political correctness, good CGI. All those offended and disliking creatures ignore the fact that this movie is based on a game, so fantasy and surreal things are supposed to be in it. Looking for a sequel. Cheers!

The Office (2005–2013)

Cringe is never funny

[1/10 · 6 February 2021]

I've seen so many references about the office that made me think this show must be something, boy was I in a surprise. Cringe, lame, uncomfortable, unfunny, stupid. Nine seasons... really ? And they wanted Rick G. to give that speech at Oscars and wondered why it went wrong. This is why, you had warnings for so many years and still went for it. I guess this show isn't for everybody. Thanks God!

Outside the Wire (2021)

High quality CGI, low quality script.

[3/10 · 16 January 2021]

So many times so much good equipment is thrown on the ground, I feel like court marshaling someone. But this is the culture, drop the mike ... This movie reflects what's happening right now in the US. A bunch of nonsense. Enemies fire menacing and precise rounds, Americans fire BB guns. A robot with rapid reflexes cant hit a bad guy coming out with a big mf RPG taking time to aim and shoot and run back to where he came ... but wait there were ten robots with precise and rapid aiming and the same amount of soldiers. And the eternal cliché, going to war with tons of guns but zero ammunition, assault rifles have only five bullets, pistols on the other hand, hundreds. Bad guys hitting everything with aggressive fire, but choose to stab the main protagonist with their guns. I can continue like that but is not worthy. The attitude in the army? really? only because some lives matter more than others right? and at a cost of the most movies that came out of Netflix.