rokcomx Reviews

Carnival Magic (1983)

One more face slap, and they would've lost that G rating

[3/10 · 13 August 2020]

I found a DVD and just gave it a spin - not nearly as bad as a feared, but it's still one weird flick. I like that it captures the sleazy vibe of those flea market carnivals of the 70s - like the movie, they mixed kiddie attractions with crazy gross freakshows and sometimes burlesque and peep shows (I saw my first stripper sneaking under a carnival tent!). But the acting was so weak, it made Ed Wood's posse look like a PBS ensemble.

And what was up with that crazy chimp voice?? Al Adamson makes some of the most inexplicable flicks ever. There's a full audio commentary by the producer/co-director, "a critical appreciation" and silent outtakes, and the print quality is outstanding. How crazy that the flick was rated G! The producer says they had to cut the animal trainer slapping his girlfriend's face from three slaps down to two to get the G rating. His memory is astounding, he recalls where each performer was hired from. One gal was the rental car agent he picked up when he flew in, he just gave her a line in the midway scene!

There's one scene of the monkey running off after a trick - the producer says the monkey just ran off the set and was missing for hours! Nobody knows where he went or what he did. He just strolled back onto the set later that day, and they resumed shooting his scenes.

I bet there's some neighbor somewhere near where they shot this who's still telling wild tales that nobody will believe about the day that monkey showed up and raided the dog food dish....

Bloodride (2020)

Basically a Norwegian death metal version of Twilight Zone

[3/10 · 15 March 2020]

I went thru Bloodride and can't recommend unless you're slumming for like R-rated slasher version of Tales From the Darkside that aspires for a gradually cascading horror vibe like Black Mirror, but with no budget. There was one ep I liked pretty well (Bad Writer), a couple were tolerable and worth watching (Lab Rats, Elephant in the Room), and the other three just didn't keep my attention for anything other than a few minutes of skipping thru each. Even the one I liked was derivative of a half dozen classic "twist ending" stories that most IMDB users likely to read this could list pretty easily, and there's not much in the way of good acting or cinematography in any of them. Overall, however, it was interesting to see what is basically a Norwegian death metal version of Twilight Zone!

What Do You Say to a Naked Lady? (1970)

Funt would land in prison for this today, but in 1970...

[8/10 · 16 January 2019]

I just watched the 1970 Candid Camera movie, What Do You Say to a Naked Lady, and there's a scene with a tailor who starts caressing women's asses while he fits them for pants and dresses. He really goes to town, he cups their butt cheeks and pats them repeatedly...nowadays, any five seconds of that five minute scene would have landed a bunch of people in prison for sexual assault! What do you think happened in 1970? Most of the women ignored it, a couple discreetly moved out of reach of the guy's grabby hands, and one young lady in a skintight pantsuit turned around and flat out asked the guy "Excuse me, are you French or something?" And then she presumably readjusted her pantsuit, signed the release, and ended up in the movie....things sure have changed ---

Performance (1970)

Like taking the brown acid at Woodstock

[20 October 2017]

TCM showed the old Mick Jagger cult film Performance tonight at 4am. That's one of the few movies I ever walked out on, during a midnight showing at either the Guild or Fine Arts in San Diego. I usually loved their midnight movies, but maybe we were either too high or not high enough to appreciate Performance. One of the other few movies I ever walked out on was Videodrome, and that was a free ticket I won on the radio - when I tried to re-watch it a couple of years ago, I still hated it. I suspected the same thing would happen again tonight with Performance, but I gave it a shot.

I definitely "get" Performance a lot more now. They screened it as part of a Nicolas Roeg marathon (even though Roeg reportedly played a minor role in the actual direction of this one), along with other flicks he did about culture clashes like Walkabout (Brit kids lost in the Australian outback) and the Man Who Fell to Earth. I also disliked Man Who Fell To Earth when I first saw it new in theaters as a teen, and was quite surprised at how much I liked it when I finally gave it another chance a couple of years ago.

When I first saw Performance, I didn't really know the context RE filmmaking going all LSD in the late '60s, or even who Anita Pallenberg was (she was living with Keith Richards, but played Jagger's lover in the movie, causing problems that kept the Stones from doing the full soundtrack). I can definitely appreciate what the movie is now - but I still don't think it's very good and would never watch again.

Watching it felt like taking the brown acid at Woodstock -- you're glad to be at a great and historic party, except it kinda sucks to be there too --

I should say the actual performers in Performance are quite good, even Jagger (before he became a parody of himself). It's just such a dopey script, insanely edited like someone just threw a bunch of film strips on a table and randomly spliced them together. The music is top notch too, I went looking up almost every song -- like Twin Peaks, I'd much sooner enjoy spinning the soundtrack than the actual show!

Mangus! (2011)

Not What You'd Expect in a film with a John Waters cameo

[6/10 · 16 August 2014]

Mangus is about a likable and talented teen right out of the '70s TV show Fame, who's always wanted to play Jesus in his town's Jesus Christ Superstar knockoff, but then loses the use of his legs in a car accident after winning the role. It's got the feel (and shares some cast members) as Christopher Guest/Rob Reiner films like Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, Mighty Wind, and For Your Consideration, highly improvised if not as well written. There's even a crazy John Waters cameo (as if anything he's ever done ISN'T crazy).

Only one other review of it on IMDb so far, and I pretty much agree that much of the film falls a bit short script-wise, but it's an interesting premise with some strong performances. It's introduced on DVD as an example of "queer filmmaking" for some reason, tho I'm not sure why (other than a few characters do seem to be gay) - if anything, it's kind of devout, which is no mean feat in a movie that has John Waters in it!

The Big Cube (1968)

Nothing can adequately prepare you for this....

[7/10 · 8 December 2013]

Lawdy, I just now finally got to see the infamous "Lana Turner trips out on LSD" 1969 freakout flick The Big Cube - nothing I've heard about it could have prepared me! Cross Riot on Sunset Strip with Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, the Trip, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, and an episode of Laugh In, and that's The Big Cube! Hippie orgy, LSD club called the Trip with psychedelic bands and acid-soaked sugar cubes, a ton of hysterical hallucinations, and the most UNhip dialogue ever to come out of the mouths of purported hippies! And Lana, wow, just...wow.

Real gone, baby. Like, wildsville. Gotta cube those squares, man, cube 'em up big time...

Sordid Stories (1994 Video)

Debuted two decades before comic book porn spoofs became common

[9/10 · 6 November 2013]

Sordid Stories with the Pink Stiletto appears to be one of the very first adults-only comic books ever adapted as a live action film.

Published in comic form by Carnal Comics, and filmed by British porn king John Bowen (aka John T. Bone) the story -- written by San Diego Reader columnist/cartoonist Jay Allen Sanford -- pits an Asian superheroine named Pink Stiletto (Annabel Chong, later the subject of a mainstream documentary film, in one of her first film roles) against the Beast (Ron Jeremy), an impotent hooded villain who wants to use his Lesbo Ray to turn all of the women on Earth into, what else, lesbians.

Stiletto is assisted by the Mighty Muffin Vixen Rangers (including Bunny Bleu, Kerri Downes, and others), while the Beast is backed up by the Dragonwitch and her slave (played by lesbian duo Summer Cummings and Skye Blue). A very comedic script is paired with a big budget production that includes elaborate costuming and sets, such as the President's Oval Office and an outrageously outfitted dungeon that hosts the climactic orgy.

Twenty years later, comic book spoofs would become common in porn. But this appears to be one of the very first, from the comic company that dominated its marketplace in the 1990s. Carnal Comics also co-produced film-and-comic-book combos such as Wicked Weapon (with Jenna Jameson), Still Insatiable (Marilyn Chambers' late-90s comeback film), Ginger Lynn is Torn (another star comeback vehicle), Johnny Does Paris (with John C. Holmes), Taxi Girls (with Holmes and cult star Nancy Suiter), and Demi the Demoness (a character created at Carnal Comics that went on to become a cult attraction and tattoo icon).

Pretty witty stuff here, clearly inspired by old pulp magazines and penny dreadfuls, featuring amusing Batman-like sound FX and some impressive performances from the cast, including Joey Silvera as a very Clinton-like President (nicknamed "Burger Man").

The Last Picture Show (1971)

Just saw this for the first time - it's no Targets, but not bad!

[7/10 · 29 October 2013]

Been watching Turner Movie Classics lately, mostly for thrillers I haven't seen in years like Village of the Damned and its sequel, Cat People (the Val Lewton original), etc. In the process, I caught two "classics" I never bothered to watch all the way thru before - The Last Picture Show and Mean Streets. I'd seen bits of Picture show, but never watched from the opening shot of the abandoned movie theater to the closing shot of that selfsame theater - I think I avoided mainly just because I find Bogdanovich an insufferable filmmaker other than his first hurrah, Targets (in which he co-starred with Boris Karloff), another film framed by a movie theater (in that case a drive-in).

Must admit Picture Show is a fairly brilliant work, and I didn't realize he did it in black and white at a time when 95 percent of new movies were in color. Nice way to pay homage to the fading world it depicted! Having all the music be heard via on screen players (radio, turntable, etc) was a nice touch, as well as a cool way to personalize a sound to fit each character's personality.

Bogdanovich may be the most irritating twit in Hollywood (no small feat!), what with the stupid ascot and indoor shades, not to mention getting Playboy Playmate Dorothy Stratton killed by her husband by moving her into the bedroom of his Bogdanomansion, but I must confess he made at least two fantastic films: Targets and this one.

Twixt (2011)

The film's the thing, not the director - not even THAT director!

[8/10 · 4 September 2013]

I read the IMDb reviews of Twixt and can only tsk tsk at the many people who wholly dismiss it as not worthy of FF Coppola, comparing it so unfavorably to his "great" works. How small minded - I bet most of them, if shown the film cold and with no idea it was by the mighty Coppola, would have found much more to love about it. Few other Hollywood directors have played with videography and the attendant video lighting and color spectrums - I found it a joy to see such brand new toys in the hands of an old past master.

But I would have liked it just the same had it been directed by some lunch lady auteur that nobody ever heard of - the film's the thing, at least it should be. It's not all about the director, even when it's THAT director!

It's an odd, little, personal film, that unfortunately is neither fish nor fowl nor liquid lunch. Is it about witches? No, then vampires? Maybe ghosts? No, it's a plain murder mystery then? Or is it about lucid dreaming, or simply about growing old, weary, and increasingly weird (as most aging writers are wont to do)?

It does have problems, mainly with Kilmer never raising his character's burnout above a slow simmer and with the utter lack of a linear ending that feels anything like the end.

But neither glitch comes close to sinking an otherwise fresh and otherworldly bit of cinema exploration. I may watch it again next weekend --

Dark Shadows (2012)

Some hits, many misses - all in all, a bit better than expected

[5/10 · 28 November 2012]

At least it sports the creepy/soapy patina of a Dan Curtis production.

I found myself pleasantly surprised at how I enjoyed the first fifteen minutes or so. I don't mind the mixing and matching of original DS elements, like rolling the Maggie Evans and Victoria Winters characters into one (the original show made little distinction between the two).

The scene of Miss Winters riding a train into Collinsport, coasting through the scenic multicolored forests and seafaring coastline where I grew up and set to the Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin" even made me a bit emotional. Virtually every molecule of the movie screen at that moment made me yearn for and mourn my own long-lost seventies innocence and sense of limitless wonder.

I didn't mind the revisionary remix of Barnabas' vampiric origin story. No spoiler alert: suffice to say, he still screwed a witch, and the witch screwed him and his entire family in return.

I can even accept Barnabas being infatuated with, and quoting from, the book Love Story, just one of the "Hey, look, it's the SEVENTIES" nails hammered into the cinematic coffin every few minutes. Barney was always a hopeless romantic, rendering him eternally (as the old "Marilyn Ross" Dark Shadows novels' go-to adjective used to sigh) "melancholy." I can NOT, however, reconcile myself to a Barnabas who, on first sight of a McDonalds sign, mere moments after his resurrection from a 197-year interment, assumes the giant 'M' stands for the devil Mephistopheles.

Depp's Barnabas is so utterly humorless that such grimace-inducing guffaws are rendered even more out-of-step with the rest of the movie than the centuries-old vampire is with the unfamiliar era in which he finds himself. And the mocking juxtapositions just keep coming: jokes about being stoned (by rocks), or how the Collins have such big balls (parties, not 'nads, a gag AC/DC ran into the ground 30-plus years ago), or how a TV screen featuring the Carpenters performing must be possessed by a tiny songstress (and that's not even the only Carpenters joke).

However. Jettison the recurring gags (the worst of them featuring Barnabas trying to find a comfortable place to sleep, from inside wall cabinets to an empty refrigerator box emptied of Styrofoam peanuts). Also ignore the frequent musical dips into the very worst of the '70s A.M. radio well. Ditch and ignore such foo-hah-hah, and what do you think remains? A movie that isn't all that bad.

For instance, the unkillable four-headed beast that is Burton/Depp/Bonham/Elfman gets the music exactly RIGHT several times, most notably the entire time that Alice Cooper is hanging out at Collinwood.

Also not bad: Collinwood. Maybe even BETTER than the TV show incarnation, which always looked comically tiny and claustrophobic on the inside, especially for a supposedly sprawling mansion. Certainly better than the Collinwood of the 1971 Night of Dark Shadows movie. The new movie mansion's transformation from cobweb-heavy secret passageway-riddled goth dump to shining party pad practically qualifies the old homestead as an uncredited character.

Ditto the way nearby Widow's Hill draws the rocky waves beneath it into the movie so often, in so many ways, that the foreboding and deadly nexus of ocean and jagged stone also becomes an indelible presence in the film, bringing it into the storyline in an all-encompassing way the original TV show never really pulled off past its iconic opening credits sequence.

As for the actors portraying our old DS friends and fiends, it takes a bit of re-thought to accept demure old family matriarch Elizabeth as a meaner, leaner, bitchier and better dressed version of Al Pacino's squeeze in Scarface (both played by Michelle Pfeiffer).

But lazy old Thurston Howell-wannabe Roger Collins maintains his indolence and yellow streak. The dude who played Rorschach in Watchmen plays Barnabas' lackey Willie Loomis. Dude's come a long way since bicycling thru Breaking Away.

The girl superhero from Kick-Ass, Chloe Moretz, well plays entitlement-rich (if penny poor) Carolyn Collins, and even frequent Burton/Depp co-conspirator Helena Bonham Carter as Dr. Julia Hoffman holds a similar enough line to her vintage counterpart to make me feel I know who at least some of these darkly tinted doppelangers are supposed to be.

Even young master David Collins remains the handy and bland narrative device that he always was.

The only fly in the casting ointment was the skull-faced pretender was played the witch Angelique. Sure, Lara Parker, and even Lysette Anthony, are hard acts to follow, but I never once believed that our latterday Angelique could ever have enthralled one as lionhearted as Barnabas Collins. In the past OR in 1972.

As for her witchiness, Angelique Version 3.0 is completely outclassed and outdone even by, say, Billie Burke and Mama Cass (what child of the '70s like me could resist a double-barrel pipeload of HR Pufnstuf reference here?).

I'll parcel out some praise for the dialogue. Particularly Barnabas'. Other than a couple of gag lines, he speaks the exact words that someone who's been wading in Barnabas-quotes for 40-plus years would expect and even hope him to speak. And, against all expectation and odds, Johnny Depp reads them in a way that won me over. Even/especially the last ten minutes or so.

There's probably at least a half hour that I would have jettisoned, to keep the feel and look more consistent with the terrific opening sequences. There are no real chuckles in seeing a vampire brush his fangs in a mirror which doesn't reflect him, and bits like that are more torn from Mad Magazine than from the Dan Curtis productions.

But the REST of the movie, the parts not aiming for the juvenile "humor in a jugular vein" (to again borrow from Mad), well, it was indeed like a visit with at least the offspring of our old Collinsport crew, if not with the original characters that fanatical devotees like me know and love so well.

Gates to Paradise (1968)

13th century Christian "Children's Crusade" as a hormonal teen road trip

[9/10 · 27 November 2012]

I've long been fascinated by the so-called "Children's Crusade," historically described as peaceful march to Jerusalem launched around the year 1212 by a charismatic teen Christian who traveled from town to town in medieval France and Germany, recruiting young people to accompany him to the site of Jesus' grave because "God told me to."

Polish writer Jerzy Andrzejewski wrote a 1960 novel about the Children's Crusade, which was adapted as the screenplay for 1968's La Croisade Maudite, aka Gates to Paradise.

Directed by Polish auteur Andrzej Wajda, the obscure gem unfolds as a sort of 13th century Road Trip, with youthful hormones and selfish impatience trumping nearly all of the (supposedly) pious preoccupations of their handsome leader Jacques (blonde heartthrob John Fordyce, constantly and comically running his fingers through his Beatlesque moptop).

What makes the storytelling so intriguing is how each of the main characters tells their own tale in the form of (frequently alarming) confessions to the one adult accompanying the children, a former Crusader turned monk who seeks to atone for the many murderous since he committed while still a knight.

The monk is portrayed by Lionel Stander, who'd later play Max on the TV show Hart to Hart, here resembling an unfortunate amalgam of Yogi Berra and Buddy Hackett.

Thusly, we end up seeing the same events through several different POVS, each slightly askew from the others ala Rashomon.

In one notable case, the biographical story told to the monk by the somewhat devious beauty Blanche (egged on by her apparent boyfriend Alexander) differs radically from the more truthful account that we get to see in her private thoughts and recollections.

Blanche is portrayed by the almost impossibly beautiful Pauline Challoner, best known for the vintage Titanic drama A Night to Remember and the highly regarded (and epically ahead of its time) 1969 Spanish horror classic La Residencia, aka The House That Screamed, said to be Dario Argento's main inspirations for Suspiria.

Blanche seems to be the one teen who holds all the pieces of the puzzle that led to the beginning of the Children's Crusade.

However, only after several more accounts are unfolded via the recollections and confessions of the other children closest to Jacques does it become clear what REALLY sparked and drives the epic march on Jerusalem.

Among the cast is young Jenny Agutter (Logan's Run), shortly before she was hired by Nicolas Roeg to star in the woefully obscure lost-in-the-Australian-outback epic Walkabout (1971).

As the supposedly devout and pious young maiden Maud, she pours her heart out to the audience while hanging from a tree (oddly presaging a similar scene in Walkabout), revealing that she's in love with the kids' charismatic leader Jacques – as is just about everyone else at the front of the parade, males and females alike, including/especially Blanche's sexually omnivorous boytoy Alexander (Mathieu Carrière).

Is Maud's obsession with Jacques and her determination to always march at his side the only reason she's on this pilgrimage? What about Blanche's and Alexander's likeminded libidos? Or have they too been called upon by God to free Jerusalem?

The latter notion seems backed up by the fact that none of the kids were willing to follow Jacques until MAUD spoke up and defended his vision, in a passionate life-changing speech that we can only see, not hear, with powerfully persuasive words that – for some unexplained reason (divine intervention?) - not a single child can remember.

Agutter is most prominently featured in the first half hour of the film, though she's instantly upstaged within her own flashback when Pauline Challoner's flirtatious character Blanche skips into the frame and announces her intent to make love to the reclusive and handsome shepherd Jacques (the libidinous goal of just about everyone other than the adult monk, who becomes increasingly horrified by the ungodly hormones raging all around him as the march progresses).

Challoner would play a similarly rebellious teen the following year The House That Screamed, continuing an intriguing body of work that dates back to playing a somewhat Carrie-like "killer kiddie" in a 1961 episode of the TV thriller One Step Beyond called "The Tiger."

Stunningly beautiful (imagine a younger and even more lovely Brigitte Bardot, or perhaps Ewa Aulin from the 1968 Ringo Starr film Candy, only with actual acting chops), the British actress would make around two dozen films before retiring in the mid-'70s, despite winning several acting awards and earning herself a devotional cult of admirers.

Challoner goes through the most far reaching character arc of the film, eventually revealing herself to be a pretty decent, if typically amorous and confused, teen. She's even seen comforting her one-time romantic rival Maud as inclement weather beats down on the presumably tired and hungry horde, as well as helping Maud climb a particularly daunting rocky hilltop.

The only other adult among the major players is seen only in disturbing but revealing flashbacks, the manipulative and predatory Count (Ferdy Mayne, later cast by Roman Polanski as Krolock in Dance of the Vampires).

Director Andrzej Wajda, an honorary Oscar winner, is probably best known for his war movie trilogy - A Generation (1954), Kanał (1956), and Ashes and Diamonds (1958) – and for The Maids of Wilko, which in 1979 was nominated for an Academy Award.

If I've piqued your curiosity about this obscure cinematic gem, be warned, that the subject matter becomes increasingly mature - some might even say sordid - in ways I tried to avoid mentioning so as not to incur more spoiler alerts.

Though starring and ostensibly about children, Gates of Paradise is definitely NOT a children's film.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Why the hostility? It's a good Dream Study ---

[8/10 · 26 January 2011]

I've never understood the hostility toward this movie. For movies rooted in both lucid and unconscious dream therapy, it's FAR better than What Dreams May Come, the Matrix trilogy, Total Recall, Brainstorm, and the like.

I'm particularly fond of how classic record album covers are subtly recreated in various shots throughout the film, some very subtle indeed, like Cruise and Cruz walking arm in arm in a shot straight off a Bob Dylan record.

A second viewing is almost demanded, as the final twists continue to provoke thought long after the movie wraps up. In this, it's akin to flicks like Memento, Donnie Darko, Videodrome, and the Sixth Sense --- it gets under your skin and keeps you tossing around bits and pieces of it in your brain, ironically/appropriately just as you're trying to get to sleep that night -----

The Manipulator (1971)

Not Rooney's most unlikeable role

[3/10 · 4 December 2010]

I've been awfully curious about the The Manipulator, a 1971 flick with Mickey Rooney as a has-been movie makeup guy who kidnaps an actress and forces her to reinact movie scenes. That's what it says on the box, anyway. Rooney did some wacky evil roles, in Night Gallery (as a mob boss) and Twilight Zone (the jockey who wished to be "a big man"), so I decided to checkitout ---

Since I found it on one of those dicey Mill Creek "50 Movie" multipacks, I should have known I'd be falling waaaaayyyy down the rabbit hole....

There are almost no words to describe The Manipulator -- could be the trippiest movie I've ever seen. More trippy than The Trip! Somewhere between the psychedelic non-sequiturs of Wonderwall and crazed movie geek Eric Binford in Fade to Black -- it's mostly just Rooney, imagining stuff and people, all distorted with psychedelic sound FX and insane soliloquies.

Sometimes, Rooney is seen in slowmo, sometimes speeded up, and frequently surrounded by pulsating hallucinations...this movie just seemed drenched in LSD. And BiPolar disorder ----

Just...wow...

Night Train to Terror (1985)

Homeless Claymation finds a place to be mocked

[2/10 · 4 December 2010]

this crazy 1985 movie that starts with a "Let's Get Physical" style popmusic video, then goes to God and the Devil sitting on a train and arguing over souls (?!).

So then there are several anthology-style segments, which seem like unfinished home movies that someone strung together. Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) appears in two segments, one as a mad butcher and in the other as an author who writes a book stating that God is Dead.

The craziest interludes (and that's saying a lot!) involve several stop-motion animated monster segments! None of which seem related to anything else in the movie - a giant killer wasp, a demon that pops out of the ground and pulls someone to Hell - they just pop up out of nowhere and then vanish. Then the cheezy music video keeps appearing, with ugly people in spandex jumping around...just absolutely awful, awful, and inexplicable.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Performances somehow transcend the massive FX

[4/10 · 9 November 2010]

I'd give Shellhead2 four stars, mainly on the strength of the performances, which transcend the odds by holding their own against the utterly massive layers of visual FX.

Mickey Rourke follows up his Award-driven Wrestler role with an attention to detail that went as far as choosing the designs for his full-body prison tattoos and even creating a hitherto unscripted film role for an avian Cockatoo sidekick (which itself steals a scene or three).

Downey as Iron Man inventor Tony Stark refuses to be sunk by his character's many, many flaws, essaying his performance with an air of "My work will redeem my lousy personality" that recalls his virtuoso performance in his earlier Charlie Chaplin bio flick. Cheadle handles his reluctant/replacement hero role with aplomb, appropriating one of the Iron Man suits in the name of some "greater good," which of course proves to instead be an even greater evil (operating within the machinations of the military industrial War Machine).

The unfortunately-named Pepper Potts, as played by Gwyneth Paltrow, holds her own against Downey as her boss-slash-love interest, matching and even usurping his boxing-style banter in all their scenes together. Samuel L. Jackson is clearly just warming up his role as former soldier-turned-super-spy Nick Fury, agent of SHIELD, a character surely destined to appear in virtually all the future Marvel Comics films being set up in Iron Man 2 (news footage from the Hulk movie appears on one of Tony Stark's lab monitors, a busted Captain America shield is used as a construction prop, the mysterious appearance of Thor's hammer takes one character offscreen until the final post-credits roll, a map in the SHIELD office indicates the Black Panther's activities being tracked in Africa….).

And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow rocks that leather jumpsuit (her stunts being done mostly on wires, rather than CGI generated as insinuated by Mr. Shepherd, tho a stunt double does indeed handle a few seconds of the more ambidextrous maneuvers).

Halloween (1978)

Groundbreaking and perfect for drive-ins

[4/10 · 27 October 2010]

Worth noting are groundbreaking aspects like, say, spawning the birth of the "holiday themed" horror movie (future slashers would stalk Mother's Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Prom Night, even one schlocky Aussie entry called The Day AFTER Halloween…). Or the then-novel notion of an indestructible human (as opposed to mutants, vampires, witches, zombies, blah blah). Or the innovative marketing that blew up Halloween into a virtual Hollywood franchise that still churns 'em out to this day.

Or how the epically low budget was overcome by doing things like hand painting paper leaves to make a California summer look like a rural autumn (requiring the cast to gather up all the leaves in bags after each shot, lest they loose their "fall" atmosphere).

Though not classic cinema by any means, Halloween was still innovative and, at the time, more riveting than just about anything else touring drive-in theater screens (which was, after all, the intended market from its very conception).

And also worth citing are the performances of genuinely gifted thespians like the late Donald Pleasance (who returned for several sequels) and Jamie Lee Curtis, not to mention cult cutie PJ Soles, fresh off the film's kindred precedent Carrie and soon to all-but-steal the Rock 'N' Roll High School spotlight from headliners the Ramones.

I admit that Halloween isn't the kind of movie I'd ever want to watch more than once. But that one time certainly made its mark on my movie-going psyche --- I counter several commentators' single star with three more, for a total of four. Let's not besmirch that rating, tho, by mentioning the mostly abysmal (and seemingly endless) sequels ----

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Blew the head off the seventies

[8/10 · 17 October 2010]

Eight out of ten is about the right score for this live action cartoon that blew the head off the end of the seventies, much like our shopping mall heroes lopped the heads off their shuffling brain-eating adversaries -- Given director Romero's mostly uninspired prequel and sequels to this entry in the Dead filmography, it seems a fair guess that his collaborator on this project, gonzo Euro-horror meister Dario Argento (Suspiria, etc), had a firm hand in how GOOD this zombiefest manages to be. Even the soundtrack comes courtesy of Argento's resident electro-goth soundkillers Goblin.

And lawd-nose Mr. Argento can safely be said to have the most twisted sense of humor SINCE the director of the freakout flick that Mr. Duncan cites by way of likeminded comparison, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls instigator Russ Meyer (tho it should be noted that film's script by nascent critic Roger Ebert deserves at least half the praise).

Romero's sense of humor -- such as it seems -- has never progressed much beyond his jaded 1988 "Experiment in Horror" known as Monkey Shines, ie "When in doubt, hire a monkey," a Hollywood mansion-saver that even Clint Eastwood has succumbed to. Notwithstanding Romero's supervisory capacity over occasional chuckles buried within episodes of Tales From the Darkside or Masters of Horror (probably also more due to collaborators than Romero's own soggy so-called wit) --

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Story proves timeless

[7/10 · 17 October 2010]

This particular cinematic permutation of the Hitchhiker saga is a fun ride across the galaxy. Pity author Adams passed away before its completion, but several of his movie ideas made it into the final cut (he'd been working on a film adaptation for over a decade, only to have the project get stalled time after time).

As a fan of the low budget - but infinitely charming - British Hitchhiker TV series, I enjoyed seeing that show's original Arthur Dent turn up in a cameo. Even the bits added by filmmakers and not found in other incarnations of the tale - like the planet programmed to punish any original thoughts with a terraformed swat to the face, or the gun that forces its target to engage in truthful self-reflection - fit well with Adams' generally spoofy and irreverent tone.

While I'll always prefer the original books, the movie is at worst "mostly harmless." And, at its best (which is quite frequently) very funny. Even thought provoking. What more could anyone go into a Hitchhiker's Guide movie expecting?

Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

Wall revival

[6/10 · 17 October 2010]

With Floyd mastermind Roger Waters taking the Wall show on the road in 2010, for the first time in 30 years, his opus of alienation seems poised for a timely revival. The movie was originally planned as a live concert film, but footage shot at the handful of 1980 Wall performances proved unsuitable. So Alan Parker and Waters took a different approach, tho few could have guessed that the answer to the time-worn query "Which one's Pink?" would turn out to be Boomtown Rats singer (and future Live Aid/Live-8 architect) Bob Geldof.

The irony of course is that Geldof used to tell anyone who'd listen how much he HATED Pink Floyd. The Rats were all about punk deconstructing bloated stadium rockers like Floyd - of course, over two decades after the Wall movie came and went, Geldof talked the four surviving members of Pink Floyd into reuniting to perform their last-ever set as a foursome before the death of keyboardist Richard Wright. Clearly, Geldof has embraced his inner Pink ----

Yellow Submarine (1968)

Captures the spirit, if not the essence, of the Beatles

[6/10 · 17 October 2010]

Literary influences like James Thurber, Franz Kafka, Lewis Carroll, and James Joyce abound, and it's no small coincidence that those three authors were among John Lennon's own cited faves.

Though neither Lennon nor his bandmates had anything to do with the making of Yellow Submarine (aside from knocking off some contractually obligated music and filming a short live action finale), the filmmakers tried hard to capture the same spirit and influences that inspired and informed the Beatles' latterday output.

While not a perfect animated feature, Yellow Sub ranks somewhere in the top 10 for most movie AND Beatles fans, and the old saying "Maybe you had to be there" doesn't seem to apply, as younger generations seem to adore the movie even MORE than each preceding generation.

Heck, about the only other person I ever heard who disliked Yellow Sub is psychedelic pop artist Peter Max, whose LSD-soaked visual style was blatantly appropriated for the film's design, with nary a nod in his direction for the inspiration. I understand he still gets royally P.O.d every time somebody tells him how much they love his (non-existent) work on Yellow Submarine --- but, hey, that's fair 'nuff payback for the way he ripped off Steranko, Jack Kirby, and Warhol.

Cecil B. Demented (2000)

Hating on Hollywood - with Love

[6/10 · 16 August 2010]

John Waters continues his slow and steady seduction of the mainstream with the first half of the movie, only to reward its arousal by slamming a giant butt plug thru the finale. How many ways can one director demonstrate how much they hate the Hollywood machine, by mimicking it with all the jaded "devotion" of porn parody? The closing sequence at a particularly demented and violent drive-in theater screening rocks in a way not seen since Boris Karloff used his senior Citizen Cane to knock out a drive-in sniper in Targets. Yes, Mr. Waters, we know you love to hate us - you have since you made us sit thru a giant drag queen eating dog poo.

But, jeez, won't you ever make a movie that doesn't glorify suicidal sociopaths to the point of murder junkie fetishism?

Blade Runner (1982)

Soggy and dreary relic from the punk era

[6/10 · 14 August 2010]

For an early 80s effort so steeped in (Hollywood's version of) punk rock culture, this has aged surprisingly well. I recently re-watched for the first time since Reagan was President (the version with Harrison Ford voice-overs), and was surprised at how quickly it demanded all my attention. Even the tinny electronic soundtrack music sounds better here than on any ten space-rock albums by eerie era contemporaries like Tangerine Dream/Kraftwerk/Kitaro/Goblin/Philip Glass --- Everything about the look and attitude of the female lead character screams Bettie Page to me, right down to the archly painted brows. In keeping with this underground subcultural feel, the film's dreary sogginess, and the aura of decay and "perfect storm" damages that seems to infect everything on screen, from the epic backgrounds to the lighting, hardware, framing, tinting, right down to the characters' clothing and even their very complexions.

There aren't many films anything like Blade Runner (and the few with any similarity are from the same era - Liquid Sky, Class of 84, Metropolis as re-envisioned and soundtracked by Giorgio Moroder, maybe Dead End Drive-In) This is a future that looks to be particularly soul-sucking, where life itself no longer has much tangible worth, now that replicants have forever muddied up how humans perceive themselves ---- ie a nice place to visit (on DVD), but I admit I'm grateful Hollywood didn't live there long ----

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

Shrapnel damage from the most dangerous bomb of all

[8/10 · 5 June 2010]

Devil's Backbone is essentially a companion piece to Pan's Labyrinth, also by Guillermo del Toro (best known in the English-speaking world from the Hellboy movies). While Labyrinth mixed fairy tale fantasy with a grim war-torn storyline filled with mortally threatened children, Devil's Backbone replaces the fairies with ghosts ---

One film critic at the San Diego Reader called the movie "Not at all scary" ---- I would think ANYone would be scared out of their wits by Backbone, not so much from the supernatural elements (which, as in Labyrinth, may or may nor be merely imagined by children- the clues are there for those who seek them) but rather from the horrifying wartime realities portrayed. The unexploded bomb that sits in the middle of the village-slash-stockade is only a portent of the impending horrors to befall most (or rather ALL) of the characters - though the missile itself never explodes, nobody escapes the inevitable and ominous shrapnel of the civilized/educated world exploding into barbarity around them.

I rank Pan's Labyrinth among my top ten most-watched and most-obsessed over films. I just today watched Devil's Backbone for the first time, but I have a feeling it'll grace my player several more times this summer --- it's already creeping under my skin and burning its startling imagery into my brain, much like Labyrinth did (and still does).

Worth checking out!!

The Last Movie (1971)

1971 - what WERE they smoking???

[5/10 · 29 May 2010]

1971 saw some of the freakin' weirdest movies ever unleashed -- Carnal Knowledge and Klute (for those seeking sex), Bananas and Willy Wonka (for those on drugs), Clockwork Orange and 200 Motels (rock and roll!), and leave us not forget Harold and Maude (suicide played for laughs!), Pretty Maids All in a Row (funny serial killer?), Werewolves on Wheels ('nuff said), and Willard (for who can resist a lovable killer rat?).

The late Dennis Hopper went to his grave insisting that this homemade 1971 hallucination was his own Citizen Kane, even as the rest of the world filed it somewhere between Cecil B. Demented and Glenn or Glenda. Hopper felt this way even AFTER he was sober. Few have ever seen this flick, which is really a pity, as it deserves to be seen -- if only to marvel anew at whatever crazy sheeit they were smokin' in Hollywood back in '71 ----

Ghost World (2001)

Some comic books DO make great movies

[7/10 · 22 April 2010]

Adapting a comic book to the screen can be a dicey proposition - one that fails far more often succeeds.

For every Men in Black or Iron Man, there are a hundred Mystery Men, Captain Americas, Hulks, Leagues of Extraordinary Gentlemen, From Hells, MirrorMasks, etc etc -- Ghost World succeeds in part because it captures what the comic book was expressing, but using the language of motion pictures to do so.

The subtle character nuances and interaction, details in the clothing and settings that would have been all but impossible to render in ink, and most of all the performances, which evoke just about every emotion that anyone who ever imagined themselves an outsider, out of step with the rest of humanity, has ever felt.

And hasn't pretty much everybody, at some time in their lives, imagined themselves to be just such an outsider??