cbcburns3 Reviews

The Little Mermaid (I) (2023)

The beginning of the end for the legendary Disney

[2/10 · 28 July 2023]

I'm actually very sad to be writing this review as it made me realise that a golden age of kids movies has come to an end, a very rare thing when a company released masterpieces one after another all very high quality. I love the little mermaid as a kid from the funny Sebastian to the catchy tunes and beautiful animation and it was so full of colour and great humour, memorable characters. So I was kind of excited to watch this, but its all so wrong right from the start. I do want to start off by saying all actors/ actresses done a great job I didn't have a problem with any of them, from Halle Bailey doing an amazing job as Ariel, incredibly beautiful and played the part so well, to the amazing Melissa McCarthy who done a very good job as the evil Ursula but unfortunately right from the start my first thought was the effects look a bit tacky this film will age very quickly and even in the space of a year or two will look very dated things just looked slightly off you could easily tell it was CGI, what happened to all the amazing colours from the original it felt like it was a dimly lit swimming pool in a back garden or something was incredibly disappointed with the visuals. The second thing I had a big problem with is the songs they just didn't sound like Disney songs, Halle is obviously a professional singer and its easy to tell she's very talented but as she hits the high notes it just sounds wrong I would of much preferred she had had a laugh/ good time singing them with her cast members instead of it sound like she was trying to record a new album, it wasn't until Ursula sings her first number that I thought ok this sounds like a Disney movie song to sing along to, another major problem I had is why is it over 2 hours long this is supposed to be aimed at kids my age when I saw the original it got to 90mins in and I was starting to lose interest started looking at my phone so much pointless junk in between scenes. There is moments of brilliance like the "scuttlebutt" but its few and far between. So it comes to me explaining my title of this review, the reason kids are taken to see these movies, the reason I wanted to see this movie is the legendary classic masterpieces the originals we grew up with, but the thing is the kids this generation will grow up to be the parents so what will they think at that time when the latest version is out... "oh I remember that movie my parents took me to see was a bit meh... what else is on?" and I do find that very sad that this new generation is growing up without that "Disney magic" I have great memories of watching stuff like Bambi/ Dumbo with my mum or laughing at Robin hood / Jungle Book with my dad it was a very rare thing they managed time after time as parent enjoyed the movies as much as the child, even going as far as I always wanted to go to Disney World theme park what are future generations going to think "oh is that a theme park based on the company who puts out those bad movies" Disney have gone from everything being a masterpiece to 99% complete trash, I think my kids were the last gen for growing up with "Disney magic" as they had the amazing Pixar movies Toy Story/ Monsters Inc etc, these new cash grabs are not only destroying timeless classics but the company itself.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

7.5/10 Really enjoyed it!

[7/10 · 2 June 2022]

Was really looking forward to this and it didn't disappoint, it's not quite on par with the 2nd movie but it's storyline that needed to be told, I don't get all the low scores? Yes Depp is not in it and if I could give Warner bros a rating they would get 1/10 but the movie is good especially if you love the 'wizarding world' I'm a fan of Mads and he does a good job but unfortunately he's stepping into Depps part who done an amazing job that no actor could replace, shame on Warner for yet another really really bad decision! But if another actor was going to do it Mads was a good choice, the standout for me was Law as Dumbledore I think he just nailed it, literally played him perfectly, the film suffers from slight pacing issues in places but this leg of the story was always going to be tricky, I was lost in the story/ world within 20mins and I can't wait for the next one! I totally respect people not watching in support of Depp but don't not watch it because people say it's bad because it's just not.

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

Amazing!

[10/10 · 23 March 2021]

As a massive Dc fan I couldn't wait to see this, I went in expecting the usual "added a few bits" but omg I wasn't prepared this is like a completely different movie, to say its good doesn't even begin to cut it, the story is more complete makes more sense now, the camerawork / cinematography literally made the hair on the back of my neck stand up a few times its stunning, everything from massive changes to subtle differences to characters being overhauled/ changed to story progression/ pacing changes, to the awesome added/ new content, I don't want to give anything away so if you are a superhero/ DC/ Marvel fan you must see this, a darker more grown up superhero movie, and as a massive fan of stuff like Avengers I came away thinking this movie makes them feel a bit tacky, a step in the right direction for superhero movies in general, a 'Snyder masterpiece' I'm a bit lost as to why we got the other version instead of this....

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Nicely done

[9/10 · 1 September 2016]

As someone who grew up in the 80s with the original cartoons and movies i was shocked at how good this is, a massive improvement on the previous movie. Characters like Krang and Beebop and Rocksteady are all so nicely designed, 'the Arrow' as Casey Jones works very well, the whole movie feels like its paying a lot of respect to the original right up to when the titles first roll and the oldskool theme song kicks in, great fun to watch all the way through, with all the actors doing a superb job but one.....my only criticism ....Megan Fox , such a bad actor, but i suppose she's easy on the eyes so she gets away with it, oh well hopefully she gets fired from the next one for being arrogant and mouthy like in Transformers

Godzilla (2014)

One of the worst movies in years

[1/10 · 9 July 2014]

Well I got excited when I first heard about this, the tech now to do something really cool, and was hoping for the writing and direction to do something original, but as it turns out this movie has none of that, first off is the terrible acting especially the wife of the main couple it looks and sounds like they are all reading it off a script in a school play, then the is the yet again crap story of a family separated by a disaster and of course all finding each other and big happy smiles at the end, I mean again for real??? Lmao, and the movie isn't really about Godzilla or the struggle against his arch enemies lol its just all the crap that goes on around them, did genuinely think this was a very boring movie felt myself dozing off a few times, actual Godzilla was visually kinda cool and there was the odd looking epic shot, but I would say maybe 5 mins of him fighting, don't get me wrong i didn't want an expensive version of one of those cheap vs movies but this was a joke, it turns out this is just as bad if not worse than the 90's version, a wasted opportunity to do something cool and original, for the first time in a long while I felt a bit cheated out of my money

The Event (2010–2011)

Nothing short of epic

[10/10 · 4 April 2014]

Same as others I can't believe this never got another season its superb, great original story, superb acting and its so well made and put together, one of those series where you think i'll just watch 1 more episode, sci fi fans will love this, a bit like 24 the white house side of it is done so well, with the president and his no .1 played perfectly, it felt like i was watching a movie with a massive budget most of the time, the flashbacks that explain the backstory are cleverly done, top marks to the script writers and director/producers ,easy to see why this won award/nominations, be great so see it continued at some point, don't read to many reviews and spoil the story if you haven't seen it, just watch it as good as TV gets

RoboCop (2014)

A disgrace

[1/10 · 16 February 2014]

This is a disgrace to the original, at the time it was a groundbreaking and very shocking film, with great actors very original and well done ideas and such an original style to it, well this crap is exactly the opposite, terrible story line, very slow to start I would go as far as saying boring, and for the actors in it got to give it to the director the whole film is just all terrible acting, the overall very bad crime feel in Detroit doesn't come across, where are the crazy adverts, where is the infamous bad guy, and the setup to murphys story? All missing, why mess with the story line from the original which was excellent anyway, this is nothing short of an epic fail, it just manages to scrap 1 star rating as robos HUD view is quite cool but that is literally the only good thing I have to say, I can't remember the last time I was so disappointed with a film, please director don't do any more films, a complete waste of what could of been a brilliant opportunity

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

Seriously messed up

[1/10 · 20 December 2013]

Well as a film buff I try to check out all the films that get that infamous rep or people try to/get banned, to be honest they are normally an epic failure on many levels mostly as you don't really enjoy watching them, I love scary movies I will purposely watch them on my own in the dark late at night with headphones maxed, if it makes me jump all the way through and I end up sleeping with the light on (lol) its mission accomplished. Others in this class I suppose are things like cannibal holocaust which is a failure I was glad of what happened to them, the crew were aggressive murdering b*******, another is clockwork orange again even Kubrick epic failed in this genre as you don't feel sorry for the lead as he's a nasty rapist piece of scum it was great seeing what was happening to him, and this follows on the same lines really, as far as shock value it scores high but at the same time its so badly done, especially the plot its so stupid, I think the director was literally just going for shock value and everything else he chucked in to make up the film, what I will say is Iam so glad my mind can't and doesn't come up with sick stuff like this I think he needs help really I def wouldn't want him anywhere near my kids or anything, he obviously can't make a decent film which is why the end result is a shocking, but piece of crap filmmaking.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

First class

[10/10 · 21 August 2013]

After enjoying the first reboot so much I was really looking forward to seeing this and it doesn't disappoint, as a big Trekkie fan since I was a young kid and seeing all of the original episodes and films numerous times iam so surprised at how good these reboots are, visuals are superb, acting and choice of actors is faultless, especially the main 3 kirk, spock, bones have really put their mark on them, the humour is in their as well but most of all the stories/plots are great, it was a brave move reimagineing the most beloved wrath of khan but its nicely brought up to date, I can remember how shocked I was in the cinema when he first revealed himself as khan, and of course there is the great and classic enterprise fights, also I must mention the epic soundtrack its so beautifully put together for example just after the opening as its setting up the story, I don't like giving films a top 10 score and don't give it lightly but I have to give this top marks, don't get me wrong there are always going to be hardcore Trekkies that are stuck in the past talking Klingon to each other :p but in my opinion these reboots couldn't of been done any better, really looking forward to the next looks like war with the hardcore Klingons :)

Trance (I) (2013)

Poor filmmaking

[2/10 · 6 July 2013]

First thing is I love trainspotting, sunshine, 127 hours, and although slum dog isn't really my cup of tea I think its an over mushy film where he got carried away in his location and with the people, but i can admit it was beautifully shot with some nice touches, then come the Olympics and I really don't understand all the big fuss, we were sitting there cringing it had a well cheap feel to it bit like a school play or something I personally think people got carried away and he was definitely a very poor choice to do it, with trance it is his ego now in the way mixed with not the actors he wanted and not the location he wanted due to his Olympic commitments, I think you can tell the actors knew this was going to be a turkey, but I suppose they were just hoping it was going to all come together, seriously bad written script, pointless nudity it serves no purpose I suppose some young kids who see it will get all excited but again it just comes across as why? It actually starts off quite promising but its now like I said ego that gets in the way it breaks down into a stupid plot that jumps unprofessionally it doesn't confuse you or at the end make you think 'no way didn't expect that' you just end up thinking ' why would he do that?' Very unlikable characters, I genuinely don't understand how this scores 7+ ???? Shame a great filmmaker has let his ego get in the way riding on the back of I think 2 over hyped mediocre projects only made worse by people's undeserved praise

Aftershock (2012)

Truly terrible

[2/10 · 13 May 2013]

First thing is I love disaster movies even ones which have been slated I have enjoyed but this just doesn't work on any level, first thing is nothing happens for over 30mins I suppose they were trying to get you attached to the characters or use shock when things kick off which works incredibly well with an epic film like the perfect storm you really do end up completely engrossed, but with this its an epic failure I just ended up thinking what I'm supposed to feel for these drunks, these over privileged rich kids that act like selfish aggressive *****, I actually was hoping they were going to get taken out lol, mix this with terrible acting clichéd ideas, its all terrible, it earns 2 stars because underneath it there is a couple of nice ideas, but it just goes to prove you do need proper writing/direction and people who can act not just play drunk well, also what we are meant to feel sorry for the main dude because he has a kid..... Omg might work or cut it in a high school drama production, altogether an epic failure, avoid!

Earth's Final Hours (2011 TV Movie)

Contains the worst bit of any movie ever

[1/10 · 13 April 2013]

OK first thing is I love all these different disaster movies and iam quite biased with my scoring when it comes to them, the initial idea is actually quite good a piece of space debris from a theoretical white hole pierces the earth with devastating consequences, but it soon falls apart, special note must be given to the super poor acting by all but one person, its been a while since I have seen such bad standards, and also special effects I could of done better with my PC and some free program's it really does have a feel that they couldn't be bothered and just kept the budget money lol, I felt sorry for poor Rob Knepper who tries to pull the film together the only actor who is doing a good job but its asking to much of him to try to save this rubbish, but he does manage to earn the films only star, I was blown away by how bad Maxwell and Bright were it is rare to see such bad acting, they need to rethink their career choice, but this film contains the worst scene in the history of movies, where at the end maxwell and brights characters neglect saving the earth to worry about a gunshot wound to the arm of their companion, obviously the good of the one outweighs the entire earth population it is at this point you realise what a bad joke this film is. Risky this is the sort of film that destroys careers

Shadow People (II) (2013)

A great creepy movie

[8/10 · 28 March 2013]

I really liked this, first thing is its not a gore/blood fest ( which is a good thing) its more a creep/freak you out movie, I watched it about 2am on my own in the dark and it freaked me out, I thought it was a cool original quite scary idea, with some great writing and ideas and some great acting, it would of been easy to make this feel cheesy and cheap but it doesn't the main character does a superb job of portraying the sceptic to believer, its a shame it has a low score which will instantly put people off this movie as recently especially in this genre it's rare to find something original and so well done, I hate to admit after watching it I actually turned the light on to go to sleep lol I can't remember the last time a movie had that effect, well worth watching just don't expect a slasher or make you jump movie it's more one that freaks you out when thinking about it, which you will do

Sightseers (2012)

Very poor

[2/10 · 28 March 2013]

I was so disappointed with this, I love black comedy's but this was terrible the only reason I watched it was because at the time it had a 7.1 score, I don't know how it got that, poor unoriginal story that's been overdone, unlikable characters and its not funny, without a doubt an epic fail, it's one of those films you get the feeling it was either release it to try and make money but add a bad movie to your name or can it and take the losses. If you enjoy watching freaks acting like freaks then fair dues you will probably like it but if you are looking for a good black comedy you will be seriously disappointed, I couldn't believe this was from the dude who done Shaun of the dead ( its a bit of a disgrace to mention it on the advert/cover for this film/freak show) one of those films that's so bad it makes me angry i wasted my time watching it lol

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Very average

[4/10 · 10 November 2012]

I have actually really enjoyed the movies up until now this is definitely the worst of the 4, it's very slow moving and nothing really happens till the end, and worst of all its not scary at all, I thought the 3rd one was good until the end I hated the idea of the stupid cult I liked the idea of it being some unseen demon or something it almost spoilt the movie, again it goes back to it at the end of this one. There are a few nice ideas but all executed badly, nice to see the return of the woman from the original, I do hope they do another one but not by the same person as this it is an epic fail and I think the series will struggle to come back from this, one thing I also noticed is a lot of apple advertising all the laptops, mentioning iPhone/QuickTime it was all a bit obvious. : not very good.