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Reviews
Tell Me Your Name (2018)
Holy Crap this was bad.
I want Sydney Sweeney to succeed, unfortunately, this is the wrong kinda crapfest that will happen in. Just abhorent. One of the instances where the trailer was better than the film.
Copper (2012)
Kiara Glasco's not...
...coming back?!!...might watch the first episode of the new season to see how it goes, but she was the reason I watched. Tom Weston-Jones is a decent actor and can actually keep me involved most of the time, and I love the early NYC setting. Kiara's character coming on to Corky in the very first episode kinda got your attention right off. I don't know, I like this era of American history, and the Irish NYC and New England emigration history. Gangs of New York was awesome. But specifically, Corky getting his leg broke by the Pinkertons, the drugged-out dialog he has with his dead daughter, and Annie were the reason I watched, so I'll keep it on my recorded series, but without Kiara it has a chance to get canceled.
Fading of the Cries (2008)
Ugh...
...this would be perfect MST3K fodder if that show was still on the air. Hallee should have turned to porn instead of making this career move, it would be less embarrassing. The special effects are hilarious: they look like they're filmed through water, blurred to cover any mishaps. One chase scene looked like a Scooby Doo cartoon. Watch the things in the filler scenes where the characters really have nothing to do but stare or fidget until the director finally, mercifully pulls his camera away. Why the heck does the hero hold his sword backward through the entire thing? Is that the equivalent of holding a pistol sideways? Anyway, the acting is awkward and wooden, and the dialog could have been written by a ten-year-old. Utter dreck.
Fire Birds (1990)
most unintentionally funny movie ever?
I must admit, I busted a gut several times during this crap-fest... how these top-notch actors were directed into this mess is still beyond me... the four-star IMDb rating is insane
I wish more comedies gave me the giggles like this one
Nicolas Cage and Tommy Lee Jones struggle to look serious against writing that is shoddy and painful to hear... I really am only writing this review because this is, in my opinion the worst big-budget movie of our time... I think it would have made a great MST3K target
This actually spawned a really bad TV show, too!
That gives it extra credit
Should have starred Dolph Lungren and The Rock