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alconway
Reviews
Barbie (2023)
10yo and 12yo girls had no idea what was going on
The sign that a film is of no interest to my daughter is when she starts doing something else instead of watching it. This was clearly not a film of interest to her.
She's the only one who still plays with Barbies at home, but the story was very hard for her to follow, and there wasn't enough fun for kids her age, she just rolled on the floor and did other things rather than watch.
I'm not sure who the movie was for, possibly 40-50yo women?
I feel like I've been sucked in by some serious marketing skills because at some point over Christmas I felt that this was a film that I really had to see, then after about 10 minutes I was wondering why on earth I was watching it, and this feeling was vindicated as the movie progressed,
The Snowman (1982)
Pure Christmas joy and tears, just watched again for the fiftieth time
A wonderful combination of story and music for all ages and languages, depending on which version you watch there are no/very few words
Those who are used to a specific version will want I watch the same version every year - mine is the introduction by the author Raymond Briggs, most in the US will know the David Bowie introduction - but it doesn't really matter which version you watch because the animation and music make the remaining 98% of it and that is the only part that matters.
Some may criticise the animation against today's standards but it was done in that style on purpose to match the original book and took many, many man/woman-hours to make, this is a work of art.
The music is so good that even if you had your eyes closed you could tell by the music what is happening, at various times something joyful/ cheeky/ scary.
The boy's subsequent adventure is something magical for everyone young or old to relate to
SPOILER:
The ending is tearful but really makes it perfect for me, leaving me discussing with my own children tonight, is he dead or has he just gone until next year? Well I'll be watching him again next year don't you worry.
Arrested Development (2003)
A masterpiece
A true masterpiece
There is not one line in any episode of the whole series that was not expertly written.
The characters, plots, scenarios and in jokes are hilarious:
All of the actors play their parts perfectly
The production and style are perfect too
The musical accompaniment is of the same high production values.
This is comedy gold in farcical style with so many ridiculous characters and plots and hidden jokes that it is an utter joy to watch over and over again.
I have watched the whole series from start to end several times and I even listen to the soundtrack.
The final season wasn't quite as perfect when first released so was re-edited and released again but still was fantastic and - unlike some other classic comedies - it ends perfectly too.
The Death of Stalin (2017)
Good film but not a comedy you can laugh along with
It's a clever film but the humour is black comedy/farce and because it is mostly true it is sometimes horrific.
You will not be laughing along with the family, that is for sure,
This is one of those films that you need to be in the right mood to watch, the content is tough and I was inspired to do some research and had difficulty sleeping afterwards.
The film is well presented and produced with lots of familiar faces and well known stars.
I enjoyed the use of actors' original or preferred accents such as General Zhukov speaking like a rough Mancunian.
Definitely worth a watch, under the right conditions.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Boring, style over substance
Stuck indoors with Covid, I took the opportunity to watch Squid Game, I'm 6 episodes in and I can't be bothered watching anymore.
Initially (episode 1) it seems interesting enough but like many series I feel that it drags on and on taking a potentially good idea and trying to wring as many episodes from it as possible.
Examples of boredom include
- Anytime that the contestants have to decide something (pick a partner within 10 minutes ) I'm sure the show actually takes longer than 10 minutes to show the decision process, which is so boring.
- the marbles episode, excruciatingly slow and dull.
- the one guy wheezing away, the actor must be paid by the hour rather than by word because he takes an eternity to say nothing at all
There is some weak storytelling including
- the Pakistani guy getting hoodwinked out of his marbles
- very few player make any effort to ohysically overpower a guard, accepting their fate.
The positive reviews this has are surely due to the unique outfits and the music is sometimes good, but I think a lot of people think because it is foreign (to a western audience) it is somehow better, but it isn't, it's just dull.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 19: The Convert (2023)
I genuinely fell asleep, show has become a stinker
This show has become a stinker
We all know that bad guys' guns can't hit anyone in Star Wars but 7 enemy fighters chased them for several boring minutes and didn't get a single hit on target.
The entire interlude on Coruscant was exceptionally dull and my son lost interest at this point, I fell asleep and woke up when they were on the train.
The Mandalorian "way" has also become very boring. Are they all just hanging around in that cave waiting for someone to break the rules, get a life!
I discussed with my son afterwards where we felt it has gone wrong for us, and the fact is we can't empathise with anyone in it, we just don't care what they're doing or what's going to happen to any of them.
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
So boring I fell asleep in the cinema, kids unable to explain it
I found it so uninteresting that I wanted to get my phone out to read the news but felt it would be unfair to my neighbours or those behind me so I tried to pay attention but I just didn't care and soon fell asleep.
Not sure how much I missed but I checked in with my 4 companions to see whether my review was fair and they all agreed.
There are the usual plot holes and illogical nonsense (e.g. Why do they magic themselves to a train on the way to Berlin, why not just magic themselves to Berlin?) but these can usually be forgiven in the Harry Potter/Wizarding World if you're enjoying a fun story.
However this film didn't make me interested in the slightest in any of the characters or the plot.
My 8yo was getting up and walking to see people, which showed that she either couldn't follow it or was bored.
As for the plot, after the film I asked my 3 kids to explain to me what happened and none of them could tell me, it was just nonsense and didn't fit with the stories many of us have enjoyed in the past, especially my kids.
When, in any of the other 10 Wizarding World films or several books has there ever been mentioned a supreme leader of the magic world? Or the voting process for it? When has Bhutan ever been mentioned as important?!
There was meant to be a vote taking place, which was then deferred to a fantastic beast selecting *one of the candidates* based on their pure soul. However when the real beast did selecte someone it picked someone who wasn't a candidate (how does that work?) but they declined (why did he decline, he's always involved in every important event of the previous 8 movies from his Hogwarts office?) and the beast went back and picked ...one of the original candidates!
At the end, why did Dumbledore not go to the wedding?! Just adding in some scene of him walking away for art's sake, wtf, did he have somewhere better to go that he couldn't pop in and wish the happy couple all the best when they were making such a bold wedding?!
Bob Servant (2014)
You've seen him in Succession, see him in this!
Very enjoyable, great fun, farcical character.
Well written
Great scenery too.
Set in Brian Cox's home town (or the posher, seaside suburb of his home city)
Nomadland (2020)
No explanation of how difficult it is for nomads
I must qualify this review with the fact that I left my wife to each other alone after 45-50 minutes, I couldn't stand it any longer.
I had no sympathy for the character, and the movie did nothin to explain the hardships of the economic situation in America.
We didn't get any explanation of how she got into the situation, ok the factory closed but did she not save a penny in all the previous years, what did she spend her money on?
Nor did we get an understanding of how hard the nomadic life can be. Trials seemed to be overcome with mundane scenes.
When we see the Amazon signage I expected this was where we'd see exploitation or tough conditions that humans can't put up with, instead we're shown Amazon as a benevolent and happy place to work, even for old people, with "great" money - that's not what any free speech media will tell you, unlike a movie that had to get permission to film there first!
I was genuinely waiting for her to be fired as she wandered around the Amazon warehouse doing bugger all work!
Burst tyre, resolved quickly, I get that we see here that the community all help each other but we didn't really see any hardship, even the freezing cold night at the gas/petrol station we didn't see her freezing or struggling, in my opinion this is where time should have been spent showing how cold and difficult it is. Instead it wasquickly on to another dull and slow scene wandering around looking at things.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
7 because I enjoyed it with my son BUT
I enjoyed this film because my son enjoyed it but I do feel that the clash was an enormous mismatch,
Godzilla is a thick-skinned, almost armour-plated creature strong enough to slice a Naval vessel in half with his body/spines. Godzilla can breathe a radiation/laser/bad breath that's strong enough to cut through several concrete buildings at a time
Godzilla can breathe underwater
Rockets and missiles seem to bounce off Godzilla
Kong has soft tissue and fur, as tough as he may be, his skin is obviously softer than concrete. Kong has no special features other than the axe that appears later in the film
Kong can barely swim
I was surprised that his apparent weaknesses when compared to Godzilla don't seem to stop him from coming out better when around 200 depth charges were launched at the pair of them 100s of metres under the sea.
Saturday Night Live (1975)
'highlights' on YouTube, not funny, no punchlines!
I watch funny videos on YouTube and occasionally SNL highlights appear as recommended and I must admit that I don't find them funny at all.
All of the sketches seem to rely on star power rather than any real humour,
They get major stars like Tom Hanks or whoever is in current major films or music, and put them into a sketch that has a mildly amusing setup but the sketches drag on far too long and there never seems to be a punchline, the scene just fades out.
Some of the characters that I've seen like the Target shop assistant, woefully unfunny, if there was no 'star' customer each time then there's no way anyone would watch that.
As an example, The SNL most watched video on YouTube is a parody of Teacher porn, it has 70m views, and the first 30s is mildly amusing but it's over 5 minutes long and I feel like I'm watching school kids doing improv.
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
What a film, a must watch!
I wasn't really aware of this film other than there being a remake, which I haven't watched.
I saw this available to stream and played it with no prior knowledge, and I was blown away
What a story and concept, and the way - even 6 decades ago - that it is done with none of the wizardry available today.
I strongly recommend it.
Shark Tale (2004)
Ok for kids but why do we alway have the Italian gangster crap
We shouldn't be glorifying the Italian American gangster stuff.
Too many movies about these guys.
There's a good setup for a story here, the car wash is fun and the characters are likeable
But I'm personally fed up with mafia stuff
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
One of the best - a must watch
What a film, watch The Terminator first, then this, so good
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)
Kids didn't enjoy this, I was confused
The premise was a bit weird
Kids aged 7,9,10 didn't really enjoy it
I don't recommend it as a family film
Clifford (1994)
Simply unwatchable
Saw it available to stream and watched about 2 minutes, skipped ahead to see mode and the full is simply unwatchable.
There's a grown man playing a young teenager, utter crap.
Mr. Robot (2015)
I don't get it
I watched the first 2 seasons and I got bored
To me it seemed very obvious that Christian Slater was imaginary - far too much like Fight Club - and I imagine many others saw this coming a mile away.
The big hack of Evil Corp wasn't explained how it was done so simply, and with such utter global devastation when there are so many back ups and failsafes in such organisations.
The "sexy foreign woman" with her fetishes was so over the top and her husband's entry into the toilet and partial seduction of the exec's wife - during a dinner party for 4 - was just ridiculous. and as for the rooftop murder and the lack of any kind of arrest by police - simply implausible.
Then the utter boredom, adding in extra bits of other stories to drag things out.
And for such supposed geniuses, the various ways in which they get caught, such as stealing a dog or not realising that the person whose house they were staying in may actually return to the property some day!
I was getting bored of the story and looked at my streaming app (Stan in Australia) to see how long it had left to go, unfortunately Stan only has 3 of the 4 seasons! but I won't be watching anyway.
The reviews I see in here give this show 10/10 and talk about the final episode being the best ever, I can't be bothered watching it that far to find out what's so good about the very final episode, too much drudgery between where I am and the final episode.
Tenet (2020)
Going to watch it a second time, 7.5 for now
I've really enjoyed many of Nolan's films so looked forward to this.
I will watch it at least once more and may well up my rating.
I agree with some of the feedback already given,
the Movie was very loud, and during some scenes I actually had to cover my ears and I could still hear everything I needed.
During other scenes the dialogue was mumbled and I couldn't hear it, this is common in Hollywood now though, I reflected on watching movies at home on demand where I can rewind or even switch on subtitles briefly, not wanting to miss important information, or possibly I'm going deaf because of paragraph 2, above.
I felt the story was interesting and unique, looking forward to understanding it more, wish there was still IMDb discussion forums, would love to hear other people's opinions and theories
Chicken Little (2005)
Inexplicable crap
Sat down with kids aged 6-11 for a family movie. Very poor story, had absolutely no idea what was going on.
Spoilers:
Very surprised that aliens started attacking the planet
And wtf was going on when foxy loxy and others were killed by the aliens?!
Cobra Kai (2018)
Awesome, bring on season 3!
I was expecting this to be really bad
I watched it because I had Subscribed to YouTube music but once I saw the first episode I was hooked, I watched every episode on less than a week,
Good things:
We see occasional flashbacks to the movies, some old characters reappear, some good humour. Great music including the original soundtrack and some updated stuff,
Johnny is the perfect anti hero.
Definitely recommend watching this.
The Predator (2018)
Confusing and disappointing story, pretty crap
The story was all over the place.
Everyone seemed pretty happy to kill their fellow Americans throughout the film, even their own team mates, what was that about?!
Something that really got me were Inexplicable scene jumps where certain characters suddenly had vehicles (motorbikes, police car, weather helicopter!!!), to the extent that I had to ask my friend whether I'd fallen asleep or had a blackout or something that I couldn't work out how the guy was now driving a police car.
There were a few non-sequiturs like that.
Others have already covered the scientist's ability to run at the same speed as the alien but she also seemed pretty knowledgeable in operating a pump action shotgun and operating as a professional marksman
Jumping a great distance not even feet first to land on a metal spaceship without breaking every bone in their bodies was another Surprising move.
The autistic boy's ability to get into the spaceship was cute but come on, I can't even open start my Windows laptop in the time his Dad managed the same thing, while the spaceship was flying and he was on the outside!
Surely if I was put in a room with a few other people on here for a few days I could have come up with a better story.
Inception (2010)
Just rewatched it 10 years on, still spectacular, mind blowing!
Simply a masterpiece.
Mind bending trying to thing of the links between dreams, the scientific/philosophical ideas
I feel that I need to watch it again straight away.
The Blues Brothers (1980)
One of the best films of all time, I have watched it so many times
I have watched this film so many tines and I never get tired of it.
I showed the kids some clips of the car chase scenes including the demise of the Nazis and they loved it.
The language and some other content not quite right for them yet but they will get a full showing some day soon.
The story is hilarious, the outrageous car chases are fantastic and the music is great, including cameos from many famous artists
The Mandalorian (2019)
Peters out quickly, boring, also inexplicable character choices,
The good parts:
A lot of familiar Star Wars characters/races and scenes, eg Ugnaught, Mandalorians, Jawas and all that.
Some good scenes and effects.
The bad parts:
By episode 4 you get the feeling that you're watching a 1991 episode of Xena.
Characters make inexplicable decisions, the main one being the bounty hunter betraying the guild and killing them all, others include ruining Ugnaught's life. Letting the Jawas get away with major crime when they ruined his ship.
Having just watched episode 8, I'm wondering why the baddie who had surrounded the 3 heroes with an army and loads of guns decides to give them until nightfall to decide what they want to do.
Some of the CGI effects leave you feeling like you're watching Star Trek Deep Space 9.
But mainly I found it boring, the episodes drag on and you wonder why they bothered spending so much money making them.
For me it's summarised by my 9 year old boy. I thought that watching it with him would be a great treat but he's just not interested in it and it took many weeks to complete watching the first 8 episodes with me, and that included bribery.
If you take away the familiar outfits (eg stormtroopers and speedbiker outfits are exactly the same as in the original trilogy) and locations, it really seems like a forgettable 90s sci fi series.
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Awesome, Not simply "choose your own adventure"!
I am blown away by this, it is awesome.
Approach it not as a gimmick but watch and listen as you make your choices.
If you make a 'wrong' choice you have the option of going back and you get a quick summary of the steps up to that choice - but the summaries are not always the same.
The varied endings are all consistent with Black Mirror style, some are really very good.