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What If...?: What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands? (2021)
Tragic, Heartbreaking, Powerful
What If Doctor Strange Lost his Heart Instead of his Hands isn't just my favorite episode of What If, it's one of my favorite MCU stories period. The episode retells the story of Doctor Strange, but in this timeline the car crash didn't cause nerve damage in his hands, but kills his girlfriend, Christine, instead. Even after defeating Dormammu, Strange is still heartbroken and uses the time stone to try and reverse Christine's death, only to fail every single time. In order to bypass an absolute point in the timeline, Strange spends several centuries absorbing powerful magic beings until he's basically a physical god. But upon accomplishing his goal, he ends up destroying his universe and losing Christine again. The tragedy is almost Shakespearean in execution. Strange Supreme is probably my favorite MCU villain right now, he's tragic, complex and interesting. Can't wait to see him in the Multiverse of Madness.
Lucifer: Partners 'Til the End (2021)
Nothing short of perfect.
Lucifer has had several "series finales" throughout its run. This time however, not only are we given proper closure, but we're given a satisfyingly happy ending to Lucifer and Chloe's story. Every member of the main cast gets their happy ending in this episode, it really feels like a satisfying conclusion. I would've been satisfied by season 5's finale if that had turned out to be the final season. Now, I'm genuinely glad it's not. I'm just a little bit sad to see Lucifer go, but honestly I'd rather not have another season. Leave it be.
The Flash: Cause and XS (2019)
Groundhog day with none of the entertainment.
So Barry spends an hour in the speed force and leaves Nora in charge. This episode proves how useless Nora truly is. The entire plot of the episode is: Nora screws up, someone dies, Nora goes back to prevent said death resulting in another. Rinse, repeat for an hour long episode. It gets annoying after the second time Nora goes back and by the end of it all you learn is that Nora is extremely incompetent and has no reason to exist on the show. Easily my least favorite episode of a once good series.
Lat sau san taam (1992)
One of the Greatest Action Movies of All Time
Hard Boiled is a cinematic masterpiece and the second John Woo movie I ever saw (the first being Face/Off). In the film, super cop Inspector Tequila Yuen teams up with an undercover cop named Alan to take down the ruthless Triad leader Johnny Wong. The film features some of the greatest shootouts in movie history and has a higher body count than all four lethal weapon movies times 3. Chow Yun-Fat is perfect as the lead character and has great chemistry with Tony Leung who plays Alan. Johnny Wong and his ironically named right hand Mad Dog are great villains. It would be a crime to talk about the movie without bringing up the climactic hospital shootout. The action scene takes up the entire third act and lasts over 30 minutes, not once did I think it overstayed it's welcome and the payoff is well worth it. Every cop in the movie gets a badass moment such as Teresa Chang who at one point slaps an armed guard without batting an eye. The film never gets old and any John Woo fan owes it to themselves to watch it. There is no excuse not to.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Just watch the MST3K Riff
This movie was made by Harold P Warren as a bet that making a horror movie was super easy. I only wish I was there to see him grimace at how wrong he was. Manos the Hands of Fate is one of if not the worst movie of all time. The film is about a vacationing family running into a satanic cult. That is the extent of the plot, and while a simple plot doesn't kill a movie immediately (Mad Max Fury Road had a simple plot) but it takes talent to execute it effectively. None of the heroes are worth rooting for, the father played by Harold P Warren comes across as an jerk who ends up dooming his family in the end. The only likable character is the supporting villain Torgo mostly due to the entertainment value he brings. Yet even he can't save the movie from being horrible. Many people enjoy the film in a so bad it's good way because of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and I'll admit the riff track is hilarious and very entertaining. But I have noticed that if you try and watch the movie by itself, it's cringeworthy. The audio is terrible even for the 60's, the shots go on forever, most of the actors aren't even trying. If you plan on watching this movie, please watch the MST3K episode instead. It's a lot of fun, unlike the real movie.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman V Superman Dawn of Missed Opportunities
The only good thing i can say about batman v superman is that the acting is solid for the most part. i would give the action a pass but then again if Batman had the kryptonite spear all along and his goal was to kill superman why didn't he use it to begin with? The action being avoidable is the least of my criticisms at least the action is fun to look at, but that aside what was Zack Snyder thinking? Snyder doesn't understand either Batman or Superman in the movie and Wonder Woman is just in this because the script says she is. Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is basically Gene Hackman's version only 10,000 times more cartoony and obnoxious. Gene Hackman at least felt like Lex Luthor, Eisenberg as Luthor is just idiotic and has no other characteristics. Of course the infamous 'Martha' line is one of my biggest criticisms for more reasons than one. I've spoken to people who defend that part by saying it's a PTSD flashback that made Batman think about what he had become. that would be an interesting idea except that PTSD doesn't calm you down and make you think about your actions. in fact it does the EXACT OPPOSITE!!! First Blood has a realistic portrayal of the idea of PTSD and what it does to a person's mentality. Zack Snyder is even stupider for claiming he was following the comics when he clearly wasn't. The ending of the film Superman dies fighting doomsday which was entirely pointless because Wonder Woman was standing there. She was using the lasso to restrain doomsday but if Snyder was following the comics like he said then anyone can use the lasso. Batman used the lasso in the comics and he was just standing there. Alternate Ending proposition: Superman retrieves the spear and gives it to wonder woman who hands the lasso to batman telling him how to use it, she then throws it at Doomsday's chest killing him and they all live happily ever after the end. The ending is so forced it literally angers me!!! i'm only rating this higher than Justice League because Justice League has no excuses for it's flaws.
Justice League (2017)
You can save the world alone
I am not biased against DC comics, i like marvel more but my favorite superhero is Batman and i do enjoy a lot of DC properties. when i heard Justice league is being made into a movie i was excited. despite the epic failures that were Batman V Superman, and Suicide Squad i did in fact enjoy wonder woman despite being the dc version of captain america the first avenger. I was hoping DC would redeem itself with this movie. To say i was letdown would be an understatement. the tagline of the movie is You can't save the world alone, but the movie ends with superman being resurrected and defeating Steppenwolf without breaking a sweat. in other words the poster itself lied to us and that is the least of my criticisms. the movie tries too hard to be the dceu version of the avengers. i say too hard because it's pretty much the same thing only with characters you don't give a damn about. think about it The plot of 2012's The Avengers is bad guy comes to earth with alien army and tries to take it over, heroes unite to defeat him. the same thing can be said about justice league and the worst part of that is the villain Steppenwolf is a pawn in Darkseid's scheme just like Loki was to Thanos. at least we got to see Thanos at the end of the avengers, we don't get a single frame of Darkseid and we won't until part 3 which i actually hope won't happen. Also the characters in Justice league aren't just bland and annoying, they are underdeveloped and unrelatable the worst being Steppenwolf who is just trying to conquer earth because the script says he wants to; no motivation, no character. the only reason i'm giving this movie one extra star is because the action is good but that's the only plus side, and even then most of the fighting is just really crappy cgi that looks like it belongs in the cartoon Reboot from the 90's.
Deadpool 2 (2018)
a great followup to deadpool
While not as memorable as the original, Deadpool 2 is one of the most unique superhero movies i have ever seen. The premise of the movie is that Wade Wilson is trying to protect an angry kid he befriended named Russell from a time traveling mutant named Cable. For most of the film Cable is portrayed as a sadistic villain who wants to kill a kid for seemingly no reason, until the final act where it is revealed that Cable is actually the good guy and he was only after Russell because the kid was destined to become an insane warlord in the future who wiped out mankind including Cable's family. This is where the movie really becomes unique because even though technically the antagonist is Russell, he's not really the villain either. the movie doesn't really have a real main villain, which is strange for a comic book movie to say the least. There are characters who do qualify as evil but none of them serve as a main villain to Wade. The first Deadpool movie had a clear antagonist in the form of Francis and the movie was basically a revenge plot. the followup portrays Wade as more heroic in terms of he's actually saving someone else and there is more at stake. He's saving Russell from both Cable and himself before he kills the man who abused him which according to Cable would begin his insatiable blood lust leading to the end of the world. But not only that, when Wade discovers Cable's motivation it becomes more than just saving the kid from a mutant cyborg, he realizes that humanity is at stake and if he doesn't save the kid and the headmaster of the orphanage who abused him. There is a lot of comedy even during the more emotional moments which is actually appropriate since it never really gets in the way. The only complaint i have is that the pacing is uneven every now and then but other than that the movie was everything i hoped it would be.
Ratatoing (2007)
Makes food fight look good
Ratatoing or as i like to call it Ratatrolling is one of the biggest failures of all time, there is a famous joke in the Simpsons where Homer fails epically at building an outdoor grill. Compared to this disaster the grill Homer created was beautiful. I'm not spoiling anything in this review because there is literally nothing to spoil, in fact if this movie didn't stretch the plot to a forty minute movie where the first 12 minutes is devoted to one line of dialogue that is paraphrased and repeated until it gets agonizing. "this restaurant is good" is literally all you need but they take about 1/4 the runtime to tell us that from every one in the restaurant. You know the movie is doomed for failure when the highlight of the film is the evil plan of the "villains" at least that part is comedically bad. if you want a laugh just watch the evil plan on youtube it is pure gold but don't watch it otherwise it is beyond painful.
Work It (2012)
How is this a show?
There is a reason Work It was canceled faster than Da Boom Crew (which lasted only four episodes in the US, this lasted 2). This show is beyond insulting to not only women but literally every body. The series is about two unemployed men who are broke (yeah very funny) who have to dress up as women to get a job only women can get. First of all refusal to hire someone over their gender is illegal, it's called Gender Discrimination in the workplace. not only are the main characters complete idiots, all the characters are complete idiots with no redeeming qualities. In the first episode there is a "joke" saying that if you work at Taco Bell (called astro taco or something else in the episode but same thing) you are worthless and have no pride. Do the writers realize how many people work at taco bell to provide for their family?!? All the remaining jokes are based around stereotypes that 10 out of 10 times are untrue and 0 out of 1000000 times are funny. How was this series made? but the more important question is: How did ABC think this would be worth 13 episodes?!? if i could give this series 0 stars i would i hate this series it's unfunny, filled with both misogynistic and misandristic stereotypes, and like it's characters has no redeeming qualities.
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Not Pro-War
Rambo first blood part 2 is the most iconic movie of the franchise and the most successful. The movie upon release was shunned by critics and star Sylvester Stallone alike the latter of whom went as far as saying this is the worst movie of the Rambo series. The film went on to win a Razzie for worst picture and to that I say... what are you talking about? it's true that the Rambo franchise went from being about how war destroys a person both physically and mentally and shows the horrors of combat and PTSD. This movie focuses around Rambo returning to Vietnam to save POW's which is in fact another horror of war. The movie doesn't promote war by showing Rambo kill around 74 people and use violence to solve his problems. It's just doing that to entertain the audience. For the most part the movie succeeds at being an entertaining flick. The villains this time have separate agendas. The main villain Podovsky is a Russian Colonel who works with the Vietcong to keep the POW's but the other main villain is actually the US army Marshall Murdock who sends Rambo on the mission hoping it would fail. The other reason i say this isn't a pro war film is that Murdock represents the Government who didn't care about the prisoners of war who were suffering for at least 17 years. This movie isn't pro-war or anti-war, the best way i can describe the film is anti-establishment since Rambo was betrayed by his government again. In the end Rambo states he wants the country to love him and the other veterans as much as they love him, is patriotic but it means more than what it sounds like. He was saying he acknowledges that Vietnam vets were scorned for the war and he wants them to be respected for their sacrifices. The only reason i'm only giving this an 8/10 is because Rambo went from a damaged individual suffering from severe PTSD to a stereotypical action hero in 3 years which pushes the suspension of disbelief too far. But the film is still a lot of fun and I would recommend it to any action fan.
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse (1994)
Best sitcom episode
Fresh Prince isn't my favorite sitcom of all time but it is in my top 10. As with most sitcoms there is one episode that is more dramatic than the rest. Family Matters had The Gun Episode, Roseanne had Crime and Punishment but this one takes drama in a comedy show to the highest level yet. In the episode Will is reunited with his father Lou and see's this as an opportunity to bond with is estranged father. There are some jokes in the episode but the reason this is so memorable is because of the ending. Lou decides to abandon Will again for his own selfish reasons. At first Will pretends he is okay with it even though you can tell that he is holding back his emotions. After Lou leaves Will goes through a disturbingly realistic portrayal of how a teenager would react if something like that happened just like that. But the real reason this episode is the best is simply the last line: "why doesn't he want me man?" which is a question no one should ask about their father. Will Smith's acting takes center stage and is so perfect that when he breaks down crying the audience cries with him. In fact the actress who played Hilary can be heard crying in the background if you listen closely. This was probably because Will Smith ad libbed the last scene since he went through something similar in his youth and the best part is it fits with the character. It takes true talent to achieve that which is why this episode is the best of the series and my favorite episode of any sitcom.
Total Recall (1990)
Consider that a Divorce
This movie is a masterpiece of both action and science fiction and is another one of my favorites. in the film Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a bored construction worker Douglass Quaid who wants more in life and wants to go to Mars. an idea that his wife Laurie hates. But when he watches an advertisement for a program called rekall, he immediately gains interest. So he visits rekall and asks for a memory of being a secret agent on Mars but something goes wrong because he really was a secret agent on Mars.
some people have speculated that the whole film is in Quaid's head and he's at rekall being treated but there are so many problems with that. for one thing if Quaid were dreaming then the whole movie would be told from his point of view and there are scenes without Quaid in them. Also there is a scene where the villain Vilos Cohaagen hires a rekall representative Dr Edgemar to try and capture Quaid. If Edgemar was telling the truth and Quaid's procedure went wrong, why would he bring in Laurie who tried to kill him earlier? if he were being honest he would have brought in someone Quaid could trust like Bob McClane who is the guy who Quaid spoke to at rekall about getting the memory. he has no reason to lie to him about his procedure.
This movie only has one CGI effect in it: the x-ray machine the rest of the effects are done with prosthesis and makeup. i like this idea because 1990's CGI dates faster than milk back then. The prosthesis effects look great even today because they actually did them. there are some plot holes here and there but i don't care because the plot, characters, humor, and the action scenes are so great that they overshadow the few flaws (which are more like nitpicks).
The ending of the film has some of the greatest gun play i have ever seen. Quaid uses a hologram to trick the henchmen so he can shoot the crap out of them and start the reactor to give Mars an atmosphere. However the villain shows up and tries to warn him that it could destroy the planet (even though he probably is lying to keep himself in power since he's the dictator of Mars). To sum it up Cohaagen sets off a bomb that starts sucking them into the poisonous atmosphere of Mars but Quaid starts the reactor just in time to save him and his girlfriend Melina and kill Cohaagen in a hilariously over-the-top fashion where his face explodes. So Mars has an atmosphere and Quaid is a hero who saved the planet.
Earlier i said that there is a possibility that Quaid is dreaming and it's part of his rekall procedure. but he asked to be a secret agent on mars not a rebel working against the corrupt government run by a terrorist dictator. and while his former self Carl Hauser was a secret agent working for Cohaagen pretending to be part of the rebellion, that isn't what Quaid really asked for. he asked to be secret agent who saved the planet as in for the government. but in the end who cares? the movie is so awesome that i can't get enough of it. It is one of Schwarzenegger's best films and you really should check it out.
First Blood (1982)
This time he's fighting for his life
First blood came out in 1982, 10 years after the book it's loosely based on and while the basic premise stays the same the book and movie are very different. in the book Rambo is portrayed as a psychopathic Vietnam veteran with post traumatic stress disorder who isn't afraid to kill his enemies and even some civilians. His nemesis Will Teasle in the book is a tragic Korean War veteran who pursues Rambo for revenge on killing his foster father. The movie however flips they're roles in the story in the film John Rambo (not named John in the book) is a victim of misunderstanding and abuse.
Ten years after the war he is still suffering nightmares from it and is portrayed as a tragic hero who only wants to survive. the sheriff is also very different and instead of a sympathetic man who is also suffering from PTSD, he is a vindictive monster who hates Rambo instantly. At first Teasle is portrayed as a kind man who seems well respected but when Rambo asks him if he could get something to eat, we see his true nature which leads to the war. Things go from bad to worse when Teasle learn Rambo was a hero in the Vietnam war and wrongly assumes that Rambo murdered his friend Art Galt when it was only an accident. I say he hates Rambo for his veteran status because while it was never stated Teasle still is a veteran as there are war medals in his office.
As an audience we sympathize and side with Rambo since he did nothing wrong and was arrested for looking like a vagrant and even though the other policemen probably knew he was innocent they decided to harass and abuse the hero until he snaps and suddenly it's like he's back in Vietnam, fighting a war he never wanted but was forced into Rambo barely gets out at the end when his friend Sam Trautman played by the late Richard Crenna talks him out of killing teasle and if i said i didn't want to see Teasle die for his cruelty and hypocrisy, I would be lying but if he did kill Teasle, Rambo would have died. Honestly i have no gripes about the movie i think it's one of the cases where the cliche that states the book is always better than the movie is proven wrong.
Before i get to my final thoughts on this film i just want to say that i think that the scariest aspect of this move is it's brutal honesty, realism, and how it's still relevant today. I say realism because the characters are portrayed like real people. Rambo isn't a buffed up action hero who can take on a whole army killing them all while barley breaking a sweat. He's a tragic hero who just wants to be accepted in society, and with police killing and harassing innocent people everywhere now more than ever, we can relate to John Rambo and that is why he's sympathetic. this movie is well ahead of it's time, making the police the villains was a very risky move and even though Rambo's fighting people who are usually depicted as lawful authority we see early on that is anything but true. In the trailer the narrator says: "they knew he was innocent and they didn't give a damn," which is a perfect way to describe police brutality.
It was Sylvester Stallone's idea to make Rambo sympathetic and while other actors wanted Rambo to be the villain like in the book and Teasle to be portrayed as the hero instead. An idea that i think is out of the question since as it is First blood is one of my favorite movies of all time. Long live John Rambo.
Rambo (1986)
what a joke
Rambo first appeared on the big screen in first blood which is one of my all time favorite movies. In this Rambo acts more like John Matrix from Commando. i just watched the first episode and honestly the 60's batman was more mature and dark than this piece of garbage. Rambo does have his signature m60e3 in episode 1 but he doesn't even use it. the animation is hideous even for the 80's teenage mutant ninja turtles was released the next year and this doesn't even compare. the show is based more around first blood part 2 even though they changed Yushin and Podovsky's names and every character (even Rambo) is an idiot. Trautman is more of a 1966 commissioner gordon character, he's only there to call Rambo for aid and the whole ptsd aspect of the hero is completely ignored. Rambo isn't a tragic hero who is suffering from the nightmares the Vietnam War left him but he instead cracks one liners like Arnold Schwarzenegger. if you like Rambo do yourself a favor and skip this dumb show. If the villains were smart rambo would have died in episode one. if you stil aren't convinced then there is one episode where Rambo, a vietnam veteran who is suffering from PTSD and is capable of taking on an entire army, dresses up like santa claus. I'm not even joking this show is the biggest insult to fans of John Rambo ever.
Drake & Josh (2004)
atrocious
this show is one of the worst shows i have ever seen the writing is bad the direct is worse the acting is horrible. the premise of the show is that every episode would torture the main characters and let the antagonist win. it's really not funny to treat the villain like a hero and the heroes like the villain. the main characters may be flawed but in the end they are the good guys. so why the heck can't they win in the end? this show not only tortures the good guys almost every single episode but also teaches kids that it's okay to be malicious cruel and even sadistic as long as you get away with it. like one episode teaches kids that it's okay to lie. one can make the argument that the show isn't meant to teach kids morals but instead make jokes. but it's a kid's show which means that it is supposed to teach morals to children. this is in my opinion the time where Nickelodeon went downhill.
The Incredible Hulk: A Child in Need (1978)
best episode
this is one of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite classic shows. For a campy show like The Incredible Hulk this episode is very serious. The premise is that David "Baxter" working as a grounds keeper in a school when he finds out that a student is being abused by his father. The episode does everything perfectly such as showing David and the child's (his name is Mark) friendship. a lot of people hate this show for being dated but to me it was great because of the portrayal and respect for the character of the Hulk. But this particular episode stands out to me because of the social commentary it tells about child abuse and how well it portrays it. I used to debate whether my favorite episode is the first part II or this one but after watching them both this is clearly my favorite episode.
Hulk (2003)
i've had a better time watching paint dry
Hulk is an American superhero film about one of my favorite superheroes so what could go wrong. Well to start the comic book panels and wacky transitions were stupid and annoying. There is way to much drama and there aren't enough action . this movie is so boring I would put it on my top 5 worst superhero movies of all time list. The premise is almost impossible to explain since the film seems to change premises. for the first 40 minutes it's about a boring unlikable scientist after that for 20 minutes it's about a raging green monster who smashes things. then it's about the scientist who is locked up in a military base underground then once again it's about a monster. long story short this movie can't make up it's mind on what it's about. With unnecessary brooding and too much dialogue this movie is just stupid. the only reason it's getting a two out of ten is because i respect Ang Lee for trying to make a good movie even if he failed.
Better Call Saul (2015)
Better than breaking bad
I didn't think that breaking bad could be beaten but this lighter more comedic spin off of breaking bad is nothing short of a masterpiece. it is truly brilliant after the end of breaking bad my favorite show was Arrow but this definitely dethrones it as my favorite show. there has only been 3 episodes as of now and they just keep on getting better and better. i won't spoil anything because this show must be viewed if you like drama. even if you hate drama you will love it if you do yourself a favor and watch this show. the writing is spectacular, the acting is spectacular and there is absolutely nothing wrong with better call saul. I won't spoil anything but you will see some connections to breaking bad to avoid spoilers i won't tell you what they are. but if breaking bad was one of your favorite shows check this out.
Superman (1978)
awesome
this movie should be on the top 250. Christopher Reeve is the perfect superman and that is a fact. what it lacks in action it makes up for in story and writing this movie is beyond great. the premise of this movie is that Lex Luthor is going to buy desert real estate and then destroy the rest of California forcing real estate prices to soar through the roof. Of course superman finds out and has to stop Luthor and save the day. So in the end great acting magnificent story before this movie I didn't like superman that much now I do. So if you have never seen this movie do yourself a favor and see it. even if you hate the character you will love this movie.