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He Who Dares: Downing Street Siege (2014)
Seriously? lol
I can't believe how terrible this film is. The first "He Who Dares" was bad enough, then this filmmaker makes a follow up like this?! This is all about cashing in $$ and nothing else.
In the trailer they make out the SAS are in the film. They so ain't! This one dude, can't remember his name, was in the toilet when the goon squad arrive. HE was an ex SAS guy. But that was it.
Then we Salmon Flips (the pretend actor), who plays the lead character. He looks and sounds as if he's had a few lines too many of Lou Reed. What was that all about?!
The writing was atrocious. I've seen a few films now by Paul Talentless and Salmon Flips but this one could well be the worse riting one I hav seen in a real long time.
Not be missed ... NOT!
Jack the Giant Killer (2013)
Utter Garbage From Start To Finish
What a sad state of affairs when Asylum (the makers of this sad little tale) throws out garbage like this with a cast of people who aren't even trained in the art of acting. Wow, they must have taken the directors wife and kid hostage to make him do it. One consolation, this film of inferior quality should only have taken a couple of weeks to throw together so no real harm done.
The story starts of with some Real Steal rip off material as Jack is fixing his robot (I know, lol...I don't remember Aliens style robots in any other version of Jack...Beanstalk before!) while struggling to say his lines and use his hands at the same time. lol yes, I remembered a classic bit of acting when we first see the ridiculous beanstalk in a field. There is a cop standing there with a very small crowd of people and he's right in front of them saying "nothing to see here, move along", I was like WTF! Nothing to see? Also the way he was holding this crowd of 4 people back was stupid. They are in a field and can stand anywhere but chose to all squeeze in front of the only cop there. Another thing is, when Jack gets nabbed by the tree branch thing and gets taken up in front of everyone. Not one person seems to notice it happening!! Garbage, garbage, garbage.
I don't do the "this is the worst film ever" speech because it's cliché and rarely true. I have to say though, it's damn close. The acting is atrocious, the editing looks like it was done by a crack addict badly needing a fix and the music, the mf'king music! Where in the hell did they dig it up from? It sounded a bit like those,(I'm not too sure of the name) Stylaphone? Is that the thing Rolf Harris used to advertise? Well, it sounded like that.
Not a film to be watched, even if your bored, drunk, high, low...in fact...just don't watch it. I did and I'm still queasy.