ScoreArtist Reviews

Infinity Pool (2023)

Brandon Cronenberg is NOT his father...

[2/10 · 15 October 2023]

It seems harsh to say, this film and "Posessor" seems like Brandon tries very hard to walk in his fathers shoes but they are too big for him to fill.

Nepotism is one sure fire way to get into Hollywood; henceforth Brandon Cronenberg.

What the hell is this movie trying to say exactly? It seems to start on one premise but then goes in a completely different direction. We aren't looking at something that's trying to make a point, or even be intelligent. Quite the opposite in fact; like Brandon himself, we are given a second rate hack job of what tries to be a stand out horror/sci-fi. Where all logic fails with the main characters and want exactly their end game here is? Am I missing something? David Cronenberg is my favorite director and I am a 40 year old filmmaker who got into the game the hard way.

Pearl (2022)

Mia Goth and Ti West upstage X with their own film

[9/10 · 15 October 2023]

If you have seen X, this is a GREAT origin story. Even as a stand alone film. Mia Goth outdoes herself AGAIN playing the psychotic character of Pearl. Set about 60 years before the events of X, we get to see Pearl in her youth. Her desires to be known across the world as a dancer! Her only problem is that she's a complete psychopath. Her narcissistic and sociopath traits are subtle but known within the first scene.

This film is very different than X. As X is more of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type slasher. This is a more intimate gem crafted from the people who made X. Surprisingly it's even better!

Again, Mia Goth's performance of this character with the surrealism and the best direction I've seen from Ti West. It feels like an old love story mixed with Psycho. It finishes superbly well and never a dull moment. The contrast between it and X is hard to explain. It's more easy to suggest if you enjoyed X, you will love "Pearl". Extremely well written/directed and cast. 9/10.

I'd also like to note since there's a huge gap in time between this and X. Once you've watched both films you may agree it seems like there's another addition that could be added, making this an X trilogy. One can only hope. The ending while like the rest of the film, very well done... leaves a note of uncertainty. We can surmise that maybe another film doesn't need to be told, since we see Pearl and her husband both alive and crazy in X. However, I would welcome a third film to bridge the gap if it featured the same crew and Mia Goth.

Frasier (2023– )

No Niles, Daphne, Martin, Seattle = Not Good

[4/10 · 13 October 2023]

The original Frasier series which was a spin off of the "hit series" 'Cheers'. Personally, I never got into Cheers as it seemed trite and too... stupid.

However, we got FRASIER! The series built from one character and reinventing an intelligent, boldly refreshing, touching dram-com. It ran on for along time uprooting Frasier from Boston to his home town of Seattle. You know the show if you're a fan.

Unfortunately, everything that made Frasier such a great series is hurting this... continuation? Reboot? Whatever it is, it isn't good. With the exception of Roz for one episode, none of the original cast wanted to return. The original series pretty much told the story in its entirety and this just seems to ramble. I was excited as most fans were to here it's return but this isn't Frasier... it's something else.

Eli Roth Presents: A Ghost Ruined My Life (2021– )

The "Truth" isn't here

[1/10 · 1 September 2023]

These "ghost" stories about people's lives being ruined is super transparent. The type of people these shows attract are usually mentally ill or really don't have anything better to do; want attention.

The series production value is higher than most series I've watched about "hauntings" and various paranormal witness. This series FEEDS on the delusions of these people, making it more dubious for people that have experienced paranormal activity.

In conclusion with all this put together I say, avoid this and let it get canned. Crap like this is unethical and (again) slanders those who have had legitimate encounters and want to tell their experiences. One hint is the people who are usually being truthful are usually too scared to share. 1/10.

Cobweb (2023)

Extremely Misunderstood and Absolutely Terrifying!

[9/10 · 15 August 2023]

First off, I think the majority of negative reviews are from people who haven't actually watched the film.

Unfortunately, this gem was released as the same time as Barbie and Oppenheimer with a feature horror "Talk To Me" coming in not leaving any room for this film to really be shown. It didn't get the exposure it deserved and it's a damn shame when that happens. However, like most underrated gems, in time people will watch it out of curiosity and stumble upon something absolutely terrifying.

As an avid fan of film, I watch and collect thousands of films. I'm also someone that works in the industry and my favorite genre is horror.

Review: The film starts off immediately unsettling and even if you've seen the trailer or know nothing of the film. You will pick up that the child in the film is stuck inside something insidious. His family doesn't seem quite right and their methods of "parenting" would be considered illegal. On top of this we have the young boy hearing noises and then a voice calling out his name. Can he reach out to anyone without signaling the alarm of his parents? Is the voice he hears trying to really help him? The advice it gives seems noble but also could be interpreted as ...malevolent?

We have a lot of moving parts; hence the name of the film. People don't seem to be able put things together for themselves and so they rip apart the film because they don't understand it's conclusion. While that uncertainty resonates while watching, the film from beginning to end delivers pure TERROR. 9/10.

Dutch (1991)

Overlooked and Extremely Underrated

[8/10 · 3 July 2023]

Remember John Hughes? Breakfast Club? Home Alone? Etc. He had a way of writing and it worked even on this gem. However, something got lost for some reason or another in translation.

Dutch is a simple yet beautiful film, much like the rest of Hughes' works. It performs on an emotional level that you have to let your guard down for. Ed O'Neil is classic as Dutch Dooley, but does goof around maybe a bit too much which is why this movie may have gotten too harsh reviews. When it was made, O'Neil was only really known for playing Al Bundy on Married with Children. That show was very controversial and also may have spilled some of that controversy into this film.

Some of the scenes are insanely violent and over the top and make you wonder how O'Neil's supporting young actor's character "Doyle" gets away with so much. The answer isn't simple at all... in fact I'd wager several people in the mental medical field would have very different and intriguing opinions on the characters and their relationship throughout the film.

While it doesn't seem like much of that is important, it actually really is because, we have an amazing film that just got dumped on and forgotten. If you go in with no expectations and are a fan of Hughes or other types of dark humor/drama. Chances are you will love this film.

Merlin (1998)

A unique kind of magic!

[9/10 · 16 June 2023]

I seem to always forget this is a TV movie because of the huge cast and quality of the film. Sam Neill (Jurassic Park) portrays the most iconic wizard ever. He does an amazing job as usual, and has a great supporting cast.

The production has a couple of problems, but are easily overlooked. This was the dawn of CGi era and even though director Steve Barron (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie) is a veteran Jim Henson wizard of his own, he relied much on weird crappy effects and CGi creatures that just haven't aged well. I'm sure it was against his wishes but the producers call the shots.

That being said, the entirety of the film is redeemed by the lore told through Merlin's eyes. The visuals and sound are spectacular. Another strange thing and reason I forget it's a TV film is how violent it is. The battles are as good as Braveheart or any other sword and shield type era battles. The real magic lies within the story telling ability and twists and turns. They even had enough time to squeeze in a love interest for Merlin which adds an extra level of intrigue to this film.

An amazing masterpiece score composed by Trevor Jones and performed by the London Symphony Orchestra gives a force to be reckoned with.

All in all when people ask about a good film to watch about Arthurian Lore I always recommend this film. It is so much more and I've always felt it has been forgotten and left underrated. It should get a remaster and Blu-ray/4K release. We can hope!

9/10!

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Shayamalan's one masterpiece that still resonates

[9/10 · 26 March 2023]

Nearly two and a half decades have passed since this amazing masterpiece blew up the big screen. Most have forgotten (or those who didn't have a chance to see) the original cut of the film in the cinema. After it's massive success in the box office, we got a edited more dumbed down version... still mostly the same.

The film's story was original, beautifully acted, written, directed, scored, edited etc... so why are the rest of M. Night Shyamalan's films nowhere near as good? Answer: This film was a GROUP contribution! All the little secrets throughout the film were ideas mostly given my the big producers (Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall) and some of the stars like even Bruce Willis.

To get back to the film, if you haven't seen it by now... you're an idiot. Sorry to sound so harsh but people consistently mock what is one of the biggest plot twists EVER just when they hear the movie. Most likely it's been spoiled for you... don't let that stop you from watching it.

Like other great films, this one remains in the top #100 where it's earned it's rightful place. It has horror, drama, mystery, thrills... and gonna be more specific. You can watch it and cry. You can watch it and be spooked all night. You can watch it repeatedly... I've seen it at least a hundred times and it's still a great film. 9/10.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Don't answer the door (Skip the movie!)

[1/10 · 25 March 2023]

Once again we have another M. Night Shamlyan pile of crap. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the movie (basically).

Good premise with four strangers approaching a cabin with a terrifying proposal. A homosexual couple with a young daughter are asked to make a willing sacrifice of a member of their family or let the world be destroyed.

A special angle looking at it through the eyes of a homosexual couple who has been assaulted and tormented and judged by horrible people in and out of their lives. What do they owe a world that doesn't accept them?

The book is open ended and has more spontaneity as the film completely details at the end. Also, for once when we are expecting M. Night to give us a twist or turn and he doesn't. Stop letting him make movies! He's terrible!

Do not WATCH! Waste of time! 1/10 because I had to give it something.

Scream VI (2023)

More original than Scream V, still a "meh" entry

[7/10 · 21 March 2023]

First off, I want to say as a fan of the original Wes Craven films. Scream was never meant to keep going this far. Newer characters is a plus, but they still keep reaching back. I think five is by far the worst, and this makes up for it a bit.

The intro was definately something new and puts a thought into your head about how this could basically go on forever. The reasons don't seem to matter anymore. Not that it wasn't always stupid to justify murder in the name of horror, it's just gotten more and more weak. The return of Kirby (S4) with no explanation of how she's still alive was strange.

This time they are dealing with something that is all over the place. There are no "rules" anymore. Even the characters acknowledge it's a franchise at this point. Neve Campbell's absence is no huge loss and her character does get a mention. The ending is more predictable and really stupid. Please let this be the last installment of the series.

The Midnight Club (2022)

Better than Bly and Mass but not saying much...

[5/10 · 10 October 2022]

Hill House was super creepy and intriguing with a new skilled writer/director Mike Flannigan at the helm. Ever since he made that though... it was as if that's all he could give. Might have a correlation with him becoming sober from alcoholism. I hate to sound evil, but stick to what makes you great. If it means hitting that bottle again, have a drink.

This reminded me of "Are you afraid of the dark?" Mixed with "Goosebumps" and a ripped apart story that didn't come together for anything good. Not to mention it has more holes than Swiss cheese.

I'm sorry Mike! If this is all you have left to give... quit!

Oculus, Doctor Sleep, Hill House etc. Were amazing. The last 5+ years of what you've made is pure garbage. People are milking the hell out of crap just to appease you. You know you've lost your touch though, and we know it too.

Rings (2017)

A flaccid attempt to regurgitate the original

[2/10 · 13 September 2022]

Do not waste your time watching this garbage. Especially if you enjoyed the original film "The Ring" by Gore Verbinsky. However, if you're bored and curious to see how something can fall so far from where it started; be my guest.

This film takes what we've already seen in the original (skipping the already horrid Ring Two cashgrab). The film has an interesting opening on an airplane where a guy who's seen the tape is on an airplane trying to avoid his fate. As we already know, there's only one thing that can save you from certain death. Copying the tape and showing someone else. Since this opening scene clearly is a refresher course, the character has Samara join the mile high club and taking the airplane with her. (This is probably the only part of the film worth watching.)

Cut to 2 years later where Johnny Galecki aka "Gabriel" is at some sort of outdoor flea market and buys a VHS player with our special tape inside. Somehow he is oblivious to what this tape is, despite hearing where the VHS came from. (Plane disaster mentioned above). He takes it home and watches it and gets his phone call...

Cut to (yes, we won't see him for another 20 minutes or so) some stupid couple talking about the ancient story of Orpheus.

I'm going to just cut right to what this film tries to be and fails miserably. A poor retelling of some extended unscene part of the tape. After all this time it seems like Samara has more to tell. This would of been interesting if what she had to tell mattered. However, there's nothing new mystery wise. Just an hour and fourty two minutes of jump scares and horrid acting. The film doesn't even make an ATTEMPT at some originality. Basically trying to retell what we already know with the same result. In the end we get a bit more information on Samara's bio father... (which again is completely pointless).

2/10 because some of the effects are interesting. I do suggest strongly NOT watching this mundane, pointless tripe. It will literally KILL two hours of your own life.

The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)

I guess I fail to understand the humor of morons

[1/10 · 24 June 2022]

This movie is a stupid spectacular waste of time and space. Just like the show! Seriously NOT FUNNY AT ALL! Genocide has more humor. How can something do unfunny be so liked?! I'm really not as baffled when I see liberals.

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

Amazing on every level!

[8/10 · 21 May 2022]

Should of been in theaters. If you grew up with Rescue Rangers or not, there is enough nostalgia in this movie to fill in 50 films. The comedy is very smart while relying on old gags but not being predictable. An amazing score by Bryan Tyler using the original TV show theme. An amazing cast that really puts this together. The story was well written and without saying anything more, definately don't miss this!

Severance (2022– )

If Philip K. Dick had made a show it'd be this

[9/10 · 15 April 2022]

Creator Dan Erickson brings us we've needed for a long time. Clear perspective on something NEW and out of a linear consciousness.

Welcome to the world of "Severance". Wake up and goto work where your "inner you" spends 8 hours a day that the "outter you" won't remember. This also goes both ways.

A medical procedure called "Severance" as the show is named. Splitting the mind into two separate versions of yourself. One for work and one for ... living?

The show hits on so many levels... firstly and foremost. Are they creating their own purgatory? Imagine waking up everyday in the same elevator in the same office doing the same thing for years and years. The other version of you has no memory of your coworkers or what you're even working on. It gets to have a life of whatever it wants and could seem like paradise. But what about the other YOU that is stuck in that grind? Seems like Hell! The question comes... is it ethical to do this to yourself? Half of you doesn't know anything about yourself outside of work for it's entire life. Once your job ends, it's "life" ends with it.

Adam Scott plays a perfect character who has found himself in this predicament. With an amazing ensemble cast and crew to support more questions as to why this is even happening.

If you're a Philip K. Dick fan, you'll love this series. If you enjoy good sci-fi or even liked that show "Lost"... you'll love this! 4/5.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1995)

Better than the (2017) film by far...

[8/10 · 5 November 2021]

First off I want to say how pathetic it is that the same people who would tease the fans are taking the time to give this such negative reviews. Closet Ranger fans? What did your parents do to you?

Anyway this movie isn't perfect, far from it. That's what you get from (Saban), who cuts corners and it's incredibly Jewish. The opening of the film is its highest point. There's a new threat, awesome rangers fighting scene. New suits look so awesome. Then, a lame supervillain from Indiana Jones takes over the bad guy racket and the rangers must get an even NEW power. Great fighting scenes, cool music, comedic relief is actually pretty funny.

I think if they combined the mainstream story and suits and music and characters etc. With the seriousness of the (2017) film, they might find that sweet spot.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

I really don't like Sanberg, but this film...

[8/10 · 5 October 2021]

I am not a fan of Andy Sanberg; I found him super annoying in almost everything. I had the lowest expectations and a very harsh sense of humor as well. That being said, I watched this because it was on and I'm so glad I did because it's f$%[ing hilarious. I don't think anyone could of better personified the real life of a pop star like Sanberg has done. The satire is off the charts and the simplistic humor had be in tears. Must watch even if you aren't a fan.

Final Destination 5 (2011)

I don't get the negative reviews?

[10/10 · 5 October 2021]

Final Destination was in a downward spiral with the god awful "THE Final Destination"... no story, character development, no Tony Todd. It was the worst of them all. All hope seemed lost, than this GEM pops out of nowhere. In the guise of another sequel, except we didn't know what we were getting. The end result something amazing. A new theory if you take a life you can keep it AND it coincided with the First film being everything full circle. What more could you want?! Death scenes were nail biting as usual, especially the eye laser thing. I wouldn't mind seeing another one, so if you don't like it... watch something else!

Midnight Mass (2021)

Midnight Mess

[2/10 · 26 September 2021]

I know people say not to watch this expecting a horror. However, Flannigan himself and even Netflix labels it as horror/scary. Quite the contrary as it slides so far away from the greater films and one series Mike Flannigan has made. The religious aspect is WAY too overboard to the point of this smothering the audience. The characters' "arch's" are not developmental or even remote to what is going on. Which brings me to ask the question... "What the hell is this supposed to be?" A misguided priest accidentally wonders into the crypt of a vampire and brings it back to a small island. Mostly predictable and very unsatisfactory as a film altogether. This is Flannigan's true lemon as it were. I hope your next project is watchable. This and Bly were total garbage.

The Hunt (II) (2020)

Better than Ready or Not... and proof that people are dumb

[8/10 · 1 August 2021]

People bash on this movie and give it low scores because they can't understand satire. Either that and/or they're tied around their own political stupidity. The film mocks liberals showing them as hypocrite and also takes a knock at conservatives. The true message is don't judge a book by its cover. This film is an amazing satire of action and basic truth of the American people. I am American and can honestly say this works on so many levels. The film itself is really fun and I can see it becoming a cult classic. Kudos to Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank and the writers and team that made this gem. Must watch!

The Empty Man (2020)

The Empty Movie

[1/10 · 21 July 2021]

I honestly don't understand the positive reviews. This was one of the WORST films I've ever seen. It's WAY too long and it can't seem to focus on where the hell it's going. Don't waste your time folks. I promise you WILL NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SEE HERE. I am a huge horror fan, a film major and professional in the industry. This movie is absolute garbage. It seems like it was supposed to be something else and then when Fox went under, Disney just copied and pasted what was filmed and we got this pile of crap. 1/10 (I'd give it a zero for wasting my time if I could).

MacGyver (2016–2021)

CrapGuyver

[1/10 · 26 June 2021]

Just tried watching the pilot and it was terrible. What the hell is going on? I grew up loving the original and would never miss an episode. Richard Dean Anderson will always be MacGyver.... not this MacGruber-esc abortion.

The beginning is awful and where is the target audience range? CrapGuyver is banging his super IQ hobag on a fake computer. While making us aware she turned down million dollar jobs so she could work in a van and get shot. CrapGuyver's "friend" is like old enough to be his dad but he had his back in all these wars he wasn't even born to fight in? Also, that isn't how a hand scanner works so now let's just make up fake crap because who cares right?!

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

Different...

[7/10 · 2 June 2021]

If you're a fan of the Conjuring franchise, the first one being probably James Wan's most terrifying film. The second one is a great follow up sequel with amazing direction and lots of horror. However, the second film seemed to focus more on opening doors for side films like Annabelle and The Nun, Crooked Man etc.

Now with Wan leaving the franchise we are lost without a third final film from the original director and no hope for anything new....

Except this isn't the case (pun intended). With the starting of a seriously disturbing/horrifying scene this is probably the darkest chapter of the conjuring series. One thing that it lacked was focus on detail for the trial itself in the film. Kinda bounces around but overall a great finale for a hell of a franchise.

The Legend of Zelda: The Hero of Time (2009)

Garbage

[1/10 · 29 May 2021]

As many fans have wanted a Zelda movie; some have tried to make their own. This is why the idea is conceptually bad on it's own. Seeing how a Lord of the Rings budget would just be the start to present something as grand as the Zelda franchise, you'd also need someone like Kevin Fiege as a producer. So that you can get that Avengers: End Game feel with a Zelda vibe and not this homemade trash. Some of the comments on here are pathetic and remind us why these types of movies fail... disillusioned morons and people trying to promote their own failed project. Not worth wasting your time.

The Visit (I) (2015)

Grossly Underated Gem...

[8/10 · 1 May 2021]

First off it seems like most people are still "expecting" way too much from M. Night. This mood set puts a damper over the entire film and glosses any perception and/or opportunity to see it as anything but terrible.

The truth is that The Visit is a rare treat that we get from a genre that rarely gives anything new. A fresh story that is equally realistic, nightmarish; sort of a dark fairytale.

The story is simple and easy to follow, the characters are well written and acted. The POV direction actually helps this film, as it goes with the story in a confusing fashion. We still get an AMAZING TWIST, and it is terrifying.

Also, the best part of this is that it was a small budget film to make a comeback. This is exactly what it did.

As with most films, it's not perfect but as for most horror films... it's different and still scary. Those two things make it an otherwise unique experience.

In my honest opinion I think it went over too many heads. People expected something and didn't like what they got or went in expecting etc.

If you want to watch an original scary film, check this one out. It's sadly underrated and should of gotten more publicity and release.