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toddmichaelstarks
Reviews
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
IGNORE THE BAD REVIEWS
Honestly, I haven't had a better time at the movies in a long time. Coming from a huge fan of the horror/ thriller genre, I found Evil Dead Rises, a refreshing new spin on the beloved 1981 original. Personally, I loved 1987's " Dead by Dawn" even more. I went to Groves High School in Beverly Hills, Michigan, the same high school as Sam, Ivan, Rob. Bruce went to a different high school down the road, so I've heard many great stories from my drama teachers. Ted Raimi would stop in occasionally to visit. Although, the script could've stood on its own as a completely different exorcism film, it still made for an exciting new edition to the franchise. I enjoyed the change of scenery from the cabin to apartment complex. If you enjoyed films like 'Quarantine" or "Rec", I think you'll enjoy it even more. The special effects were top notch. The Deadite Mother was truly horrifying.. even though she already looked horrifying before being possessed. Think Zelda from Pet Sematary times 10. Is the perfect? Of course, not. None are. It's all in the eye of the beholder, but I guarantee it will give you chills. Enjoy.
Contracted: Phase II (2015)
😂
Ok. Apparently, no one in these movies believes in a hospital. Lol. First thing I would do is go to the frikkin police, explain absolutely everything and beg to be thrown in jail or a highly monitored hospital quarantine. Better to be there than running around the streets eating people. Even their loved ones are like Mmm " not looking so good buddy". If that was my friend or family member I would immediately call 911.
The Descent: Part 2 (2009)
GIVE ME A BREAK
What hospital/ Trauma Unit/ Doctor/ & Police would ever allow a half dead, hysterical, beat up, and traumatized women to go back to the place where she was almost killed. Lol. Didn't even have time to have her bruises heal. Lol. Lost me right there.
Trauma Center (2019)
What has happened to Bruce?
Bruce Willis has reached the point of no return. His acting is god awful. He looks like hell, and he's old. Wow. For someone who was one of the top action stars of the 80's 90's he sure loves those straight to DVDs now.
Scream (2022)
IF YOU'RE A TRUE FAN OF SCREAM.... THIS SUCKS.
If you're a true/blue fan of the Scream franchise like myself, I'm going to tell you straight up. I'm rating this a 10 in hopes more people see the truth.
I don't know if the studio is actually paying for reviews or maybe it's high schoolers truly believing this is a reputable sequel, I'm not quite sure, but I will tell you this... don't be fooled by these A+ reviews. I was looking forward to this new "Scream" especially, cause of the great reviews. This is my straight up opinion.. No I don't think "Wes" would've been satisfied. The legendary "Scream" opening was not all that. Kinda found it boring, as a matter of fact, I found the whole movie kinda "boring". Been there done that. Brought nothing new to the series. Who's the killer? What's the great reveal? And what the hell was their motive this time round? Nada. I guarantee you really won't be that enthralled. I feel as old as Courtney Cox, and Neve Campbell look. Bringing their characters back for a little nostalgia is alway's fun, but they were really kinda annoying. I really almost fell asleep at times. This movie sucked. Once again, where are the police? Where are the neighbors? Where's all the security at the hospital? Lol. Whatever. Enjoy at your own discretion. I'd love to hop in the "hot tub time machine" and head on back to 1996 and see "Scream" again for the first time. I guarantee you will too.
#1 Scream
#2 Scream 4
#3 Scream 2
#4 Scream 2022
#5 Scream 3.
The Stranger (2014)
Umm
Well, I tried my best to watch this movie, especially, since it was produced by Eli Roth and the team that brought you "Green Inferno". I finally had to turn it off. The acting was god awful and felt like I was watching a foreign film with the American voice over that didn't match their mouths, but I wasn't. The premise wasn't all that bad, but unfortunately, I would skip this one.
The Humans (2021)
WHO NEEDS AMBIEN?
I'm all for going against the "mainstream" every once in awhile if it's good. I can appreciate movies that some refer to as (thought provoking) Indie films. That's cool, but this ain't it. Maybe I'm not "gettin" it, but good god is this one hell of a bore. All I can say is bring a pillow.
Friday the 13th (2009)
TRUE FRIDAY FANS GET IT.
Honestly, for reviewers to say this was crap is a far cry from the complete and utter mess of the "Zombie" Jason of the 80's. This "Friday" returned to it's roots. Finally, a serious Friday film. Could it have been better.. probably. Anything has the capability to be better, but if you're a true/blue Friday fan... you can't possibly tell me Friday 5,6,7,8,9 were good. Lol. Pure trash. I'm happy to hear the court settlement is over. I look forward to part 2.
Lake Alice (2017)
DEFINITELY A 0 RATING
This was the absolute worst piece of ass, I've ever seen. My friends and I back in high School made better horror movies on a hand held camera back in the day. Horrendous acting , terrible plot, ridiculous writing, shall I go on? Good god. 😂
Halloween Kills (2021)
REMEMBER THE GOOD OLE DAYS?
First off, I'm a huge Halloween fan. Obviously, the original Halloween and Halloween 2 were great. Unfortunately, they don't hold up too well by today's standards, but hey their classics. The rest? Terrible. As we already know, part 3 should not have been called Halloween. Good lord. The rest of the sequels sucked. Rob Zombies reimagining was ok, but I could have done without the horrendous back story with his mother. I would say the best out of any of the sequels was H2O. Had great suspense. Like Jaime Lee Curtis said' " should've ended there" but due to a clause in the contract with the the producer/ production company, they could never kill off Michael. She also had contract obligations to return for the beginning seen of "Resurrection" which she demanded her character be killed off. I would've wanted to be killed of as well. Halloween Kill's was more of a comedy in my book. And I thought the first one was terrible. Gee. Was I wrong. Laughed through out the whole film. Terrible script. Judy Greer's acting was horrendous. Judy is just not cut out for this kinda material. Jaime Lee Curtis is hardly in it. Please cut your hair..you look god damn old an awful. Basically, if you liked the first one, chances are you'll like this one. Definitely, not a treat, more like a trick. Enjoy!
Pet Sematary (2019)
ORIGINAL'S ARE ALWAY'S BETTA
One of the only movie's that have ever scarred me was Pet Sematary. I've alway's been a horror enthusiast. I also consider myself a pretty good go to guy when it comes to this genre. I'm sorry, but this reimagining of Pet Sematary just doesn't cut it. If you're fan of the original, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. I did not care for the "switcheroo" at all. It's not Pet Sematary in my book. The only interesting aspect of having Ellie switch roles with Gage was more interaction with her family after returning from the hallowed ground. Zelda, who was one of most scariest characters on film was reduced to an awful CGI imposter. John Lithgow did a pretty good job as Judd, but Fred Gwynn will alway's be the king. Oh by the way, what's up with ending? What are they just gonna carry on as a family of Zombies? Who's gonna pay the Bill's? I also can't believe Stephen King gave his blessing for this. I don't know. I say let's bury this version of Pet Sematary and alway's go with the original.
Cry Macho (2021)
THANK GOD FOR HBO MAX
Look, I love Clint. Been a fan since my grandpa used to take me to see all the "Dirty Harry" movies. Loved them. Great memories. That's the way I want to remember Clint. He's alway's been a fantastic director, storyteller, and actor. I give him the utmost respect for doing what he does at 91. I could be so lucky.
I loved Gran Torino. I wish it would've been the finale to the "Dirty Harry" series. Having Clint come back with more of a vengeance protecting the young boy and his sister from their cousin's gang. Either way, I thought it was a great film. Now back to "Cry Macho" I hate to say it, and..I know, I'm not the only one who thought this even before going to see the movie, Clint is frikkin' old. (Obviously). He's so old and frail it's hard to concentrate on the film. My mind was constantly reliving Clint's heyday. I'm sorry. I'm just one of those sucker's who live in the past, just like Clint's recent characters. Unfortunately, I fell asleep 40 min into the film. Love you Clint, always will.💯💯
Disturbia (2007)
THIS MOVIE ROCKS
I'm "Disturbed" if people give this film a low rating. It's a great date night out at the ole' movies. Loved it in 2007. Still love it in 2021. It was a great little thriller. Sorry to say, Shia's career took a total nose dive into oblivion. Too bad. His star was rising, especially, after Indiana Jones (Kingdom of Crystal Skulls). This little (spin off) of "Rear Window" was a refreshing modern day tale. I totally recommend.
The Boy Behind the Door (2020)
THE LONGEST HOUR 1/2 EVER
Good god. It might be good, if you're 10. Not too bad but it could of seriously, been half hour long.
Pet Sematary (1989)
SCARIEST FILM OF ALL TIME
I know. I know. Some will argue this is not true, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. My personal take on Pet Sematary is it's a timeless classic. I'm an avid horror fan and watched every horror/ thriller out there. There's just something about Pet Sematary that's been embedded in my mind for the last 35 years, and that's hard to do. Back in 88, I was a freshman in high school. My friend's and I went to opening night of Pet Sematary. Scared the living hell out of us. Grew up with all the 80's slasher flicks, but never in my life have I had to beg my friends to sleep over, and they much obliged. They didn't want to be alone either. I would say I couldn't sleep for a week. The thought of Zelda and Gage under my bed, brought a fear I've never felt before. Lol.
Honestly, I still can't sit through the whole movie. Back then I didn't have kids, the loss of a child didn't bother me as much. Now... when you have kids, the horror and sadness of the film takes on a whole new experience. In that sense, it's a scarier and more emotional movie than it was back then. At least for me. Through the the years, I haven't come across too many horror/thrillers that left an impact on me. I'm a big fan of the Conjuring, Hereditary, and a couple more, I can't think of at the moment, but I'm sure you get my drift. The only thing more upsetting and scary to me is Director Mary Lambert choosing to direct Pet Sematary 2. What the hell was she thinking? Lol.
The Wrong Car (2016)
NOT THE BEST, NOT THE WORST/ MADE FOR TV MOVIE OF THE WEEK
The ending absolutely sucked, but what did you expect?
Family Seductions (2021)
😂 OH MY GOD!
Lethal Love ( As Netflix calls it) absolutely deserves this rating of 10. They worked hard on this Comedy. Actually, I call it the "Comedy of the year". I laughed nonstop through out the whole movie and a couple hour's after. Lol. My lord, how anyone could take this movie, seriously) is beyond me. I feel more bad for the producer's for putting out their money on this melodrama laugh riot. How I made it through the whole thing is beyond me. "Lifetime's" Academy Award winner. Lol (see I'm still in tears). Honestly, this movie is so bad, it's good. A mother & daughter banging the same dude ( I know, it sounds like a porn) without the other one knowing was utterly ridiculous. Gee.. "Beverly Hill's 90210" nerd shows up sportin' those perfectly, groomed eye brows, and cheesey ass smile, acting like a cross between "Dylan McKay" and "Joey" from *NSYNC not to mention that shitty ass voice and terrible acting) is invited to jam out at the (one and only) "Sweet Surrender" hip ass "Coffee Beanery" style joint/whore house.. I guess;). Alway's jammed packed with 2 people and the poor register gal working her ass off, while mom & daughter are out blowing the entertainment. Not fair. Lol. The daughter not telling her mom "what was up" was totally ridiculous. Oh, and that ending.. so good...ha ha. Ya know, I have to stop here. I don't want to spoil the obvious. Enjoy the show!
The Forever Purge (2021)
GOOD LORD THIS MOVIE SUCKED
I wish I could write a better review, cause I fell asleep midway. Terrible. Even the action is boring. Absolutely no suspense. Didn't care for the western set up either. Oh well. If you're a true Purge fan, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Can't beat the first Purge. That's about it. If you need a good nap.. be my guest. Actually, you might like it if you're 12.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
REALLY? COME ON NOW.
This movie was pure garbage. Let's seriously think about this for a moment. This "Book" should be closed, permanently. I was a big fan of the original "Saw" by James Wan. One of my favorite directors of this era. That said, the "Saw" series has become a running joke and truly the thing of nightmares. This latest installment was just terrible. Chris Rock was incredibly "out of place" in this role. It was almost laughable. The acting was atrocious. The so called new "Jigsaw" copycat was completely begging you to figure out who he was from practically the start of the movie lol. The only reason I didn't want this film to debut on H. B. O Max was the fact, I want to support our local movie theaters.
The Conjuring (2013)
A+ Horror/ Thriller. Fantastic
Another " knock outta the park" home run for James Wan and crew. The story of the Perron family's horrifying ordeal in the Arnold family's old farmhouse estate is one of the great thriller's of our time. I'm lucky to have met Andrea Perron and hosted her for many events at my place of business O'Mara's Irish Pub in Berkley, Michigan. It's a fantastic yearly event. So.. I get to hear the inside scoop on everything "Conjuring". Andrea is awesome, and I totally recommend her series of books entitled "House of Darkness" "House of Light" available through Amazon or through her website. She has a fantastic Podcast as well. Check it out. I do have a couple questions I forgot to ask.. Did Roger Perron "dad" believe one Pizza was enough to feed the entire family? Lol. And why didn't they bring in their dog "Sadie" for the night, or every night for that matter. Just a couple thoughts lol.
February (2015)
Eh.
I don't know. Found it pretty boring. I mean, I hate when I have to run to IMBD to read the synopsis. Little confusing at times. Or maybe, I'm just stupid. I enjoy movies that make you think, don't get me wrong, but if you can get through the complete boredom, you just might be able to concentrate and figure it out lol
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
PURE TRASH
It's a shame Nightmare on Elm Street franchise has come to this. What was once a pretty great original became a joke of it's self. It sucked back in 91 and even worse now in 2021. Honestly, not even worth a review.
My Teacher, My Obsession (2018)
FANTASTIC
Chris couldn't keep it in his pants. Horny scumbag. Quite frankly, I was waiting for him to bang his daughter. I could imagine him being the next guest on "To Catch a Predator" lol. 10/10. Excellent film.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
THE BEST FILM I'VE EVER SEEN
I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said here, but I had to share my experience with this film. E. T is basically, a film about divorce and the struggle kids have experiencing it. My parents got a separation a year earlier, and I didn't take it very well. I became an angry, sad, uncontrollable, kid. Contrary to belief, E. T did not have much of a marketing campaign before the film. That marketing surge came later. So I had no idea about this film that was going to save my life .
I'll never forget the day, my grandparents took my sister and I too see E. T. I didn't know anything about it, really. It BLEW me away! I was 10 years old in 82' and it was a movie experience I've never felt before. I felt like I was exactly in Elliot's shoes. Little did I know, what an impact this film would have on me. From the beautiful scenery to the suburban neighborhood and the iconic flight over the moon.
Such an incredible range of emotions from scared, happy, funny, sad, and finally.. relieved with a sense of everything is going to be ok.
It's hard to explain how E. Tbecame the focus of the rest of my summer;) I saw E. T over 15 times from June throughout the rest of the year , back when movies played the whole year. Especially, E. T. Damn. That was an amazing Christmas. I got so much E. T related gifts, it was crazy. From the long underwear and red hoodie, to every action figure and Reese Pieces, and of course;) the John William' incredible soundtrack. Played the hell out it lol. I don't think I'll ever forget the feelings I had from E. T.
My favorite seen in the film was Dee Wallace reading Peter Pan to Gertie. I don't why but I found that particular scene, magical. Oh, I couldn't believe "Gandhi" beat E. T for best picture that year at the Academy Awards. I was devastated lol. I wish I could go back in time and feel the incredible emotions I experienced when I fits saw E. T., but I can't seem to find a "Flux Capacitor". Maybe one day;) E. T.. timeless classic. Ultimate movie going experience. Forever loved.
Eden Lake (2008)
GARBAGE
If you're looking for an awesome revenge film.. THIS AIN'T IT. SUCKS