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Reviews
Saltburn (2023)
Gayest movie ever made
What the hell was this crap? Got tired of people talking about how good it was so decided to find out myself and found nothing but boring British hoiti toiti fancy talk and stupid scenes only put in for shock value, had nothing to do with the story at all. The scene cuts were also so bad I thought the film had skipped a few times watching the few minutes of it that I could stand. Horrible editing. The main actor was so bad and boring I wanted to strangle him through the TV screen, I'm glad I didn't waste over 2 hours watching it and skipped it with fast forwarding to the last 2 minutes. Of course the goofy lead dances around like a fairy nude for the last scene. They had to put that ugliness in. Yuck. 1/10 stars but it deserves way less. Worst movie I've ever seen.
The Tutor (2023)
Terrible acting, stupid plot & the cheesiest bad ending ever!
Noah Schnapp is the worst thing about the fantastic series Stranger things, the kid is a terrible actor. In that show it's tolerable because there's so much more about it to enjoy, in this movie his terrible acting along with Victoria Justice's bad acting are both exposed, making this supposed thriller hokey. The plot is also really bad, filled with so many holes I found it hard to even finish the movie, thankfully at the plot's worst there was only 5 minutes left before credits were rolling. Garrett Hedlund isn't too bad as the good guy/victim until they do the cheesy switcheroo at the end. Horrible movie. 1 star cause I can't give zero.
Siberia (2018)
Massively boring!
Keanu what's wrong with you man? I thought you'd returned to doing good movies again but this was terrible. A very slow very boring diamond theft movie that has no direction or pace. I watched this..it took me all damn day cause I kept stopping it bored, only my strong will got me through it. When the ending came for the boring movie and for keanus character I actually didn't care anymore that it ended right or wrong, I was just glad it was over. OK this review needs another 150 characters.. Keanu should've boarded a plane back to America when he had the chance. Molly Ringwald was his wife waiting at home for his return. What a dummy.
Echoes (2022)
Confusing at times
Confusing at times as most lives around twins must be but this series was still quite good. Monaghan is a great actress and plays the subtle differences in both women well, but the star of the show for me was the sheriff played by Karen Robinson. Binged all 7 episodes in one day as it went by quickly, holding my interest throughout. I fully recommend it.
The Rental (2020)
Trash
Pure trash. They have maybe 10 minutes of suspense and thrills over an hour into it, really boring movie up to that point and then they leave the ending and the killer/villain/weirdo unexplained in his actions in why he did things. A lovely piece of crap from Dave Franco. Boring and stupid. Alison Brie was good, the only thing redeeming in this mess.
The Batman (2022)
Worst Batman ever
Schumacher is off the hook. This is by far the worst take on the dark knight I've ever seen. There is nothing good at all about this movie aside from the nirvana song's inclusion. Most of the hype surrounding it was about Colin Farrell and his portrayal of the Penguin. Well..OK, but he was hardly in the movie at all, possibly the main villain if this boring movie gets a sequel. Pattinson himself was terrible as Bruce Wayne and half hearted at best in the bat suit. The Riddler had the lamest lines once confronted by the batman, just a creepy lil nerd. It took me 4 attempts at watching the film, as determined as I was, it was as boring as watching the cpac channel, and somehow clocks in at just under 3 hours. Scotch tape your eyelids open and pour a lot of coffee for yourself. Zoey Kravitz as cat woman was the only redeeming part of this film, she played her part well. The high reviews are not justified, Nolan's films were so much better, heck even Batman & Robin deserves more credit after sitting through this artsy crap version of the caped crusader.
The Black Phone (2021)
The good reviews are bs
Awful movie..and not horror either. Just weird. Way too many plot holes and unexplained parts. The only likeable character in the movie is the boys sister, I think her dreams/psychic powers would've been enough to make it a good story, instead they add the dead kids' ghosts on the phone..one or the other would've been nice they didn't need both. That's called putting a hat on a hat. I don't understand the high ratings, I hated it. Is this the best they can do for horror these days?
Breach (2020)
Sci-Fi cheese
Bruce Willis is really slumming it lately, the once sought after action hero is reduced to appearing in numerous b movies and this one isn't the worst he's done but it's pretty close. We've ruined our planet earth, once again (how many movies is this now?) And are traveling millions of miles to another planet with the name new earth. There's an alien being on board,put there by someone on the crew unhappy with the destruction of earth, and leaving it behind with people dying of a plague. The hokey one liners kept me watching and by the end I was laughing at the giant monster the alien had turned into. So I guess I half enjoyed it? More of a comedy than sci-fi horror.
Bloodshot (2020)
Implanted memories
More confusing than it had to be, but this Vin Diesel movie was still pretty likeable. He's a soldier who's wife is killed in front of him, just before he is killed himself. He's brought back to life in a military facility and wants nothing but revenge once he remembers what happened. It gets very confusing at this point of the movie but I wouldn't want to spoil it
The Attic (2007)
Pet Sematary director? This should be good!
Not!!! What a steaming pile of pissed on crap this movie was. I'll never get back the hour and a half wasted on it. The only thing I liked was how gorgeous Alexandra Daddario was in the first 5 minutes of it. If you're going to watch it, watch it for that, then shut it off or you'll regret it like I did. 1 star just for her, the rest of the pile of crap gets nothing
Le règne de la beauté (2014)
Where's the excitement?
Nothing happens in this movie. It's just about a guy who cheats on his hot wife with a woman he briefly knew in his past. Granted she's also hot, but I expected his wife, who was on the verge of a mental breakdown the entire movie to find out about the affair and lose her s**t. Or maybe expect the side chick to go ballistic and kill the guy's wife..make it look like an accident. I guess those scenarios are too played out for this movie cause as I stated, nothing happens in it!! At the end it's an amicable split for the married couple and nobody gets hurt, in fact they both flourish in their relationships and careers. Wow..what a waste of 100 minutes of my life.
A Garfield Christmas Special (1987)
Christmas the Garfield way
Garfield has always had a place in my heart, this Christmas special is funny and warm with love. I'm in my 40s and still enjoy it like I was a kid. A timeless holiday classic that doesn't get the recognition it deserves
Manifest (2018)
Ugh
Was going to give this a shot til I read the reviews here I think I'll pass now 😂
A Futile and Stupid Gesture (2018)
Ugh
Will forte is the worst actor I've ever seen. That is all