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Reviews
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Sophomoric screenplay & dialog
Watched 45 minutes and turned it off. The screenplay & dialog felt like a B- high school creative writing submission. Here's the formula, take every successful sci-fi and action movie, extract the over worn plot elements and superficial bling, put it in a blender and out pops the script (was this one written by chatgbt?). Then find B actors and make them suffer through their pandering cliche lines. Then Voila! You have a 3 part epic saga you can sell to a streaming company desperate for content but experiencing financial hardship. Not as bad as "Plan 9 From Space" which is too bad because at least that could be laughed at, this is just pathetic.
The Last Thing He Wanted (2020)
Horrible screenplay, could not follow plot
What a waste of acting talent. With 15 minutes left in the movie I finally turned it off because I had no clue what the plot was, none of it made any sense. One of the worst screenplays ever,
Lies & Illusions (2009)
If only it had been the worst film made it might have been entertaining, instead it's just painful
This movie is truly horrible. The script is completely lame, the acting by each cast member wouldn't even pass muster in your child's school play and the action sequences look like they were directed by a blind grandmother. The lead actress Sarah Ann Schultz needs to find another career, it's baffling how she even got cast.
The worst movies ever made are frequently entertaining to watch simply because they are so bad you can laugh at them. Sadly this movie is not one of the worst films ever made, like everything else about the film it even failed at this goal, instead it's just merely very bad and as a consequence it is just torturous to watch. I can't believe we wasted an evening with this dud but my girlfriend kept saying "It has to get better" up until the credits started to roll :-(
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
An unexpected beautifully crafted film with extraordinary acting
This superbly acted, intelligently written, and beautifully photographed film might be this year's sleeper. Less of a western and more of a haunting psychological drama painted with a discerning eye on a sweeping canvas. At moments it's pace seems slow but it is usually in the service of building up the layers of paint in each characters portrait. Casey Affleck's portrayal of Robert Ford was inspired. I very much enjoy when an actor can convey a complex series of thoughts and emotions with subtle facial inflections and body language. You read the character in their complexity without the distraction of words. The rest of the cast, including Brad Pitt, all delivered solid performances. This is one of the few films where the voice over narration was eloquent and insightful further rounding out the complex story of these fascinating characters. The film was also beautifully crafted visually, the camera is never just a passive recording device but rather a brush artfully painting the story. I couldn't help but feel this was a labor of love by writer and director Andrew Dominik.
I originally rented this movie not expecting much, rather to escape with a western for a few hours. But instead I got so much more and was so pleased at my unanticipated good fortune. I haven't heard many others talk about this film and it's a shame as it seems to have fallen under the radar for some reason. It's worth seeing, which is why it seems destined to be a sleeper, just waiting for others to discover it's merits.
Must Love Dogs (2005)
Don't waste your time with this dog
The film seemed to have potential, two great stars, Diane Lane and John Cusack, a contemporary topic full of comic and heartfelt pitfalls, internet dating, and of course man's best friend. However a horrid script full of nothing but clichés, insipid lifeless dialog, tepid chemistry between the actors who seem to be sleep walking just to get through the dismal production yielded a film so awful both my girlfriend and I wondered why we didn't have the common sense to turn it off. Perhaps the fact that every 20 minutes or so there would be a mildly charming moment seduced us into believing the film might deliver which sadly it never did.