andreagrossi-69 Reviews

Army of the Dead (2021)

What the heck did I just watch?

[4/10 · 10 December 2023]

Well, I watched a Snyder's movie. And I regret it. I understand that every director got his own idea about what a zombie flick should be but this movie is... Damn, it's not bad but it's not good either.

Bautista, as the great actor he is, saved most of the movie but alas, not enough to make it a good z movie.

First of all: the use of the camera focus shift is overused. It induce a sense of nausea as it constantly shift back and forth as if the viewer is not able to focus the sight. I understand it once in a while but nearly all the scene changes got it, in a way or in another.

Second: zombies are supposed to be half-decomposed sacks of flesh and bones poorly held together by clothes. Here, however, they are all nice and solid, fresh out of the gym and even with enough intelligence to create a 'kingdom'.

Bub and Dr Logan must be screaming in their graves (for those who understood and appreciate the quote).

Absolutely ridiculous and very very unlikely (any zombie movie is unlikely but this one is rooted in the ridiculous).

And then, the usual cherry on the cake: I pray and hope that one of these days, directors will learn how an atomic bomb works because so far the depiction of a nuclear strike is hilarious, to say the least and a real turn off for everyone who understand the basic of nuclear weapons.

Some special effects are fun to watch but most of them are gratuitous and slapped in the face of the viewer just for the sake of cheap gore.

Such disappointment. Such HUGE disappointment.

Save State (2023)

Incredibly sweet and entertaining movie you need to watch!

[10/10 · 20 October 2023]

Let's state immediately that this is an Indie Movie. One of those indie movie which makes itself loved almost immediately! It has a strong retrogaming vibe for reasons I don't want to explain because I will spoil the plot but retrogaming is not what the movie is all about, it's just an excuse to introduce both one of the two male characters and the film's 'mc guffin'.

What if life is a videogame? Can you "reload" from where a point in time where you made a mistake to make it up?

This is the premise. The story is sweetly narrated, without any big brain philosophy but smartly straight to the point, there are some little details you might want to check that give you more depth and meaning to the story.

The acting is solid as well as the direction. I wish I could see more movies like that, seriously.

Oh, and no, life is not a videogame, alas. You have to play with the card you have been given. That's the lesson of this incredibly good movie you need to watch!

Devs (2020)

Almost good idea,bad acting, bad direction

[3/10 · 29 August 2023]

I wonder why people need to realize things like this. I know it's fiction, alright? We all know it's fiction. But there are certain things which are not forgivable, make no sense (at least in the world in which I live) and are laughable, to be good. Take the first scene, with all that technobabble. It's tecnobabble to set the main characters' traits. It's wrong. Maybe the director assumed that most of the audience know nothing about QM but unluckly for him, someone actually DO KNOW something about QM and then it happens that the wole premise crumble like a castle of dry sand: you already know that what you are going to see it's a festival of absurdities. And as a matter of fact, few scenes later, the scene between that Sonoya Mizuno and her ex boyfrend confirm that those two but mostly him, live in a world that have nothing to do with reality. Don't want to spoil anything but I can guarantee you that your jaw will drop and not for the best reason. From there on, it is better to switch off the brain to avoid circumvolutions cramps and headaches, or better to change the show. And BTW, who the hell is that Mizuno? Is she even an actress or what? Please someone send her back to Actor Studio and keep her there to mop the floors rather than letting her think she is an actress. I have seen much more convincing and compelling high school plays.

The Swarm (2023)

What a bad taste in my mouth....

[4/10 · 16 July 2023]

I gave up understandint those kind of series. The premises of this one is great. Something happening in the depth of the ocean but the but the ignorant and populist refrain 'we know more about space than we do about what happens in our own sea' is really pathetic, and it would only take a little more culture to understand the reasons for this, without shoving it in our faces as if it were the subtext of some obscure and idiotic conspiracy. Also enough of this nonsense, thank you very much. The idea itself is good, though and it is carreid out very well. The last episode is a horrid nosedive to a perfectly unavoidable crash. It totally seems that the writer had no more time to write an adequate endind to a good series and had to find a "deus ex machina" to resolve the situation. And that's what they did. This mysterious Yrr thake the cute doctor, fondle her body, for some reasons do not treat her like it treated her colleague (fiiled up with some sort of gelatinous protein of some sort), give up to destroy the ship where her collegue are paniking and gently deposit her, alive of course, on a shore.

WHY all that? Ah, nobody knows. Not a damn hint of what the hell happened, why the hell happened. An entity that was able to alter the behaviour of whales, crabs, jellyfishes and turn them into human killer machines decided that that after played with the body of that woman, for some reason it must behave for human's salvation, not to mention that it was not the first human being that it has the possibility to analyze.

No, sorry. This could have been a great sci fi series but it turned into another "inclusive, woman empowering, zoomer overgloryfing" ecoclown propaganda. What a missing opportuniti of making a good cinema instead of a 8 episode long spot.

Black Mirror (2011– )

Whatever happened to Black Mirror?

[6/10 · 1 July 2023]

I used to think that Black Mirror was my most beloved dystopian Sci-Fi series of the last years.

Until season 6.

Let me explain: all the previous series were about the abuse and exploitation of technology and its possible, undesired side effects. I will remember here "The National Anthem", "Nosedive", "Metalhead" just to name a few.

But now? Apart "Joan Is Awful" and "Beyond the Sea" (this one pretty mediocre, if compared to the one I've mentioned before, no matter the excellent Aaron Paul) I've seen some fantasy flicks!!! Wherevolves and demons! I mean... Seriously? Are those, quoting Wikipedia, "explores technology and its side-effects."?? No, of course. They are not.

I don't know who the production had to please to insert those totally misplaced topics in an otherwise perfect series but the choice was poor. At least IMAO. Very poor, very out-of-context and I haven't been able to find a real meaning for those "harrypotter-esque" episodes. I admit, I've been really irked by those. Science Fiction is a serious genre, a genre that is supposed to make you seriously ponder about your present and about your future and there's nothing wrong in being serious.

Now tell me: how werewolves and a demon dressed up like an Abba member are supposed to make me ponder about my future?

So sad to see that even Black Mirror had to "sell its soul".

Malum (2023)

Great movie at 99%

[9/10 · 29 June 2023]

I really wish the director would read me.

Not because I think I am a professional reviewer but because I would love to express my appreciation for this movie! Seriously, I totally liked it! I liked the plot, I liked how the plot unveiled, I like some if not all the camera movements and how the gruelling stuff came up slowly but surely.

I also love A LOT the practical effects. The only things that made me mad was... Dude... You should have put a little bit more love in those practical effects. Really.

It's a literaly punch in the eye to see the demon's mask to clearly float as if it was tied to tiny strings. A good moment in the movie totally spoiled and ruined by something that seemed to be made by Ed Wood from "Plan 9 from Outer Space"....

To think that some shots were, instead, absolutely thrilling, like the father's eyes glowing in the dark while talking to his daughter in the closet's room!

Why you did such a thing? The film is good nonetheless, don't get me wrong and it worth the time but it deserved a little bit more love. Not more budget... Just little bit more love in some details.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

This is not a movie, it's a videogame. And it's lame.

[1/10 · 2 June 2023]

Seriously.

This is a videogame. Lot of fight with a boss to defeat each time and the final boss.

Nothing new, nothing that we haven't already seen. Some fights are so incredibly lame (opponents seems to goof around just to wait for the hero to get ready rather than attack and kick his ass into orbit) that they just not make sense. Or maybe the director think we the audience are all a bunch of stupid children.

The first John Wick made sense. It was about a man who kicked some asses and got kicked for good.

This one is more like one of the hundreds dumb superheroes (please.... The suit that deflect the projectiles is so utterly ridicolous that not even the excuses "it's made out of kevlar" can stand on its feet) that already are clogging the theatres and the tv on demand.

We don't really need another one that turn a good idea, a good character and a potentially good franchise in a pile of fuming, smelly manure. Once again.

To me there is only one Jonny Wick. The first one. All the rest are for the childrens who cannot see beyond the pewpew and the eyesore of the special effect and the dumb fighting scenes.

Sorry. Not sorry.

Sisu (2022)

SISU, a masterpiece for few chosen ones.

[10/10 · 20 May 2023]

This movie is exaggerated, gory, totally unreal and at times surreal. But in the most positive sense imaginable!

An action movie without any pretense of passing any "message" that is so fashionable today.

A war movie that is not a documentary, more similar to "Inglorious Basterd" but without Mr. Tarantino's ostentatious prissy and overwrought pretentiousness.

Rudeness is rudeness, without cloying "American style" jokes every five minutes. The main character don't utter a single word except in the last five seconds of the film.

Sure, you have to suspend your disbelief but after all you all swallow certain glittery trash without batting an eyelid that for once you can do so while enjoying a film that, without pretending to be a masterpiece, turns out to be one of those films that keeps you glued to your seat and maybe even makes you want to buy it, if it is ever possible to buy it in BR format.

SISU is a joy for those who love uncompromising, masculine action films free from insulting social messages of inclusion and acceptance.

Accept that knife through your skull instead! LOL!

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Massive disappointment. Just what I was expecting

[1/10 · 10 May 2023]

This is no Evil Dead by any possible mean. The first one (aka the ONLY ONE) was trippy, was something new never seen before, a splatterfest made by a passionate director.

This is a bland remake, a homogenized one that has absolutely none of the visual strength of the original. A ready-made gruel for the new generation that gets scared if someone boo's them.

The plot is specious at best. They have tried to remain somewhat similar to the original but the result is a mess with no head or legs. Characters inserted haphazardly, gallons of fake blood that makes a lot of scene but in retrospect is absolutely useless and out of place.

And then the icing on the cake: imitating classic scenes from previous films. Nothing could be more pathetic and revealing of bad writing. Attempting to appeal to the "old" audience while simultaneously sucking up to the new one.

I said it months ago that this movie would suck and I was not wrong. Bad director, bad actors, bad plot, and totally specious special effects.

Ash.... Where are you? Come save us from this debacle!

War of the Worlds (2019– )

How to disrespect your viewers

[1/10 · 3 February 2023]

I watched this series in 2023 and I greatly repent because I felt as I feel like I was treated like a particularly dumb and ignorant brat.

First thing first: aliens look EXACTLY like us. Apart a certain tatto on the wrist. Is there a laziest idea around? This is a serious competitor with the original Star Trek series where the Enterprise could not land on planet because the lack of funds for special effect. Laziness, indolence, and total lack of ideas that could barely be tolerated in 1960 but are totally unacceptable in 2019.

So, the world has been deprived of any electrical source. And nobody has the knowledge of repairing it? Nobody even think about repairing the most crucial electrical appliances like hospital, main industries, army? No. Clearly not. For some mysterious reasons, nobody on the plant Earth is no more able to make a pile out of chemical components and from there restore some sort of electrical energy. To think that even in elementary schools Alessandro Volta's experiment is studied.

In this movies they all walk by feet. Because for some other mysterious reason, there are no more bicycles in the world. Seriously, not even one. All crunch hundreds of kilometers by feet and nobody think to use a bloody bicycle because there's none in sight.

But the third season is the cherry on top. For some reasons, electricity has somewhat, somehow, return in the hands of some sparse choosen few. Not for the hospitals (of course), not for the industries (of course) but for some cars laying around.

Also, always in the third season a lot of quantum nonsense here and there to justify an embarassing lack of storyline and the majesty of them all: a blackhole of "about one hundred of kilometer of size" stationing right above the Earth, right BELOW the orbit of the ISS. And the ISS itself happily fly over it without the tiny consequence.

Seriously, do you think we are so stupid or what? I understand that this is supposed to be light and brainless entertainment but even an ignorant children nowadays know that 100 kilometer wide black hole so close to Earth would swallow the whole solar system in a matter of few hours.

This is not how you write a SciFi series. This is an insult to whoever have a couple of live brain cells dangling inside the skull.

Do yourself a favor. Go watch PRIMER and see how a wonderful SciFi movie can be made with almos zero budget, zero special effects but with a masterpiece of a storyline and directing and acting skills.

Titane (2021)

Struggling to make sense

[1/10 · 1 January 2022]

Seriously. There are a lot of movies that are difficult to understand at first glance but those tickle you to watch them again to understand what's going on.

This one just don't. Is this a weird movie? Yes but I honestly cannot find any valuable meaning to it. It is weird for the sake of weirdness.

It didn't entertain me, it didn't scare me, it didn't excite me, and it didn't reveal anything earth-shattering. It didn't teach me anything, it didn't entice me to watch it again, and it has nothing memorable about it.

A big, huge MEH.

Interstellar (2014)

More Science than fiction, FINALLY!

[10/10 · 15 February 2015]

Not much to say. When a guy like Kip Thorne write the rules of the scientific aspect of this movie and a guy like Chris Nolan respect those rules, the result can only be a MASTERPIECE! Nearly everything in this movie is perfect. FINALLY after 45 years someone remind us again that space is totally silent, just to say something easy and light...

This is how Sci-Fi should be made: without sacrificing Science on the vulgarization altar for lobotomized nerds but having it totally, beautifully mixed together to make a higher quality product that can even teach people something real! If you laugh at the various capt. Kirk or jedi illiterate green gnomes then this is the movie you want to see, and see, and see again and again!

God's Not Dead (2014)

Never seen so much propaganda

[1/10 · 11 August 2014]

Really... I've never seen anything so cheeky and blatant like this movie. I mean, I can understand that it's a propaganda film but I expected at least some truth, not just a huge bunch of factious lies. In this movies, atheists are portrayed as weak men hit by "bad things" that are only able to wave their fist against god and turn into presumptuous, violent, arrogant godless bigots.

Really? Is Harold Cronk REALLY SURE of what he is telling in this film or he is just high?

The Theory Of Evolution is totally mispresented and carefully hidden in its entirety: just a couple of facts are shown and are totally, totally twisted on purpose.

Not to mention the pitiful scene of the Muslim girl "betrayed by her own brother and martyred by her own father".

This movie is a shame, from the very beginning to the titles tail and I mean it. It would not stand a REAL confrontation, not even for a femtosecond.

It's embarrassing. Are these the "recruitment weapons" of Christianity? Well, no surprise to know that the IQ among atheist is higher when compared to the religious people.

It would have been even a decent film, if it wasn't for all the incredible lies slapped on the face of the audience.