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Reviews
Spaceman (2024)
Crappy CGI effects
I'm also a diehard scifi enthusiast. But the immersion immediately burst when the crappy cgi spider effects come into play.
They are horrendously ugly and bland. Like watching aquaman. This is what most modern scifi movies looks like. It's lazy filmmaking in its purest form. If this movie was made in the 70s, 80s it would probably be amazing. Adam Sandlers performance is top notch and he once again proves a range of acting skills. It's just a shame that these digital cgi computer nerds call themselves artists. Cgi effects are perfectly fine in videogame format, while Cinematic art is a completely different medium. It will never look believable or sell the illusion of realism. I take a animatronic or model plane anyday before cgi.
Vermines (2023)
Awesome!
I crave some variety in my horror so Im gonna give this the highest 10 star rating solely and wholeheartily on the fact that it's finally a creature horror. The soul and imagination of horror cinema and what horror movies could be has been lost in time. Died and bled out in a sea of vapid, shallow james wan mainstream. Lame digital effects overtaken by craftmanship and art direction. Every haunted house, every exorcism, every zombie or arthouse indie horror is the same unscary, boring thing. It's always a human in a mask and kids in lame makeup, everyday instagram goth witches and ghost with long black hair. It's never scary. It's everyday music video fashion. And even if i never get tired of haunted house flicks..
I can only count 10 such movies as real masterpieces out of thousands of crappy ones. Get my point?.. theres literally countless of
Trash productions each year that they all start to blend togheter.
And those rookie directors who try, have such small budgets and crappy directing that it never really works. Take badabook, eight for silver, sea fever, Legend, monster, barbarian, significant other etc they give an honest try but it's still humanoid villains or bad effects that break the illusion. It never gets freaky.
The best and coolest horror movies are the ones with unexplained horrific beasts, monsters and aliens. (Splinter, The Thing, Alien, Jurassic Park, The Blob, Phase IV, The Stuff, Gremlins, Galaxy of Terror, Deadly Eyes, Bug 75,etc. And Vermin fills that Void.
I can only salute the team for doing something unique and entertaining i want to watch. Spiders are ancient horrors. The oldest insects on earth. They inhabited this planet millions of years before dinosaurs even existed. That's make them terrifying. Not some sexy ghost lady.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
What a DUD
Why even bother making an Indy movie if you they don't care?
A Indy made for kids. Terrible cgi effects,
No great traps, no blood, no real insects, pathetic, cartoonish villains that never dies. Two extremely annoying and boring sidekicks, Shia Labeuf is 6000 times better. A great phenomenal and unique actor.
There's simply No feeling, no occult atmosphere, And worst of all, no deadly cool traps?! Why even make a movie that definetely, without doubt going to suck. Harrison Ford actually plays his role well, and it was nostalgic to see him as Indy again. Everything else around him was bad, the stressful and clumsy directing, the cringy dialogue, the terrible comedy moments that was cringe. The dial of destiny has a great concept and idea. But cinema as an artform is lost. They simply can't make good movies anymore.
Life on Our Planet (2023)
The Bad CGI Is Offensive
This is the paradox of the modern world today. The exaggerate and excessive use of CGI in everything we watch. This Anti-realistic rapid technology has a truly detrimental and stressful effect on me. -Does real artistic values even matter anymore? When illustrator struggle for days on end, and digital artists coloring with a push of a button, putting out their faultlessly lined and colored content without a natural, personal touch to them?
The saddest part is, the majority prefer these unnatural, digitalized movies.
Otherwise shallow superhero movies, CGI infested blockbusters wouldn't be so popular. 'Cause even a child can clearly see the dinosaurs aren't real. The Illusion is immediately broken when the contrast of lush real life forests and movement are clashing with the foggy, unnatural CGI-effects and ragdoll physics.
Those CGI computer geeks taking pride in their work is just beyond me.
They have destroyed every classic movie franchise from the 80's, 90's and forward with their terrible unrealistic CGI. Even a child can see the dinosaurs aren't real.
I think it's just lazy that they didn't even made the small critters and closeups with practical effects? It would lend gravitas and impact to every scene. Even the CGI dinos in JWE2 videogame looks more realistic. That's no joke! It's just Lazy, terrible effects.
Ghe rest of the documentary was very beatiful and iinspiring. Amazing photo and Narrator ofcourse.
Verdict: In the end we are the dinosaurs.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Worst Installment ever made
What a load of garbage this was. It must be the most overrated movie in decades.
The first movie was awesome and had a great "Spielberg" way. I hate superhero movies but I really liked that one. It felt like a great Space opera adventure. A modern Flash Gordon if so will, And the CGI wasn't all the rage. The heroes emotions and acting was framed in a much realistic proffessional way that everything seemed plausable. Even the CGI infested hellscape of the sequel had some great scenes between the cast members. All this is GONE in this third movie. The actors feel out of place All the time. Like i was a truly bad movie sitcom. All they do is Yell obnoxiously Loud? Why? And not a single joke lands. Im serious i wasn't laughing to this migrane at all. The backdrops and scenery are also borderline ugly to look at. A station that looks like intestines with potato guards and flashbacks on badly CGI critters. The golden boy Villain totally sucks and its worse then green lantern. I don't know what they where going for, a psychadelic counterculture david bowie hairspray wrestlingpit or whatever, it sure failed. Its psychadelic in the worst fake way. It just hurts my eyes. The movie is going in 400 directions and has no time to breathe at all. Plus all the silly overacting is unbearable just like everything Gunn has made since the first movie. Why this movie has a 7.6 star is beyond me, honestly. It belongs in the pantheons of the worst b movies ever. Honestly i couldn't even finish watching it. Imagine if troma was all cgi and
Howard the duck was in rocketeer instead. That's my lowest star i could ever give.
I cant even recommend this to any scifi b movie fan. Its not even fun in a bad way.
Song of Horror (2019)
Could have been great
This horror game is difficult to pin down.
There's equally much good and bad ideas cramped into one game. Song of horror also outstays it's welcome and is far to much of a slog that it looses my attention span.
I will keep this review short of what worked and what didn't work.
Cons: 1. I will never understand why so many horror games are so focused on puzzle solving? I don't play horror to be reminded of school. Puzzles are the most boring part in any games, in any genres. It works in RE,SH, DS because they contribute to the overall mood piece. Not overly obtuse puzzles that slows the whole gameplay to a crawl.
In this game they are an absolute confucing mess! I had to rely on wiki and gave up solving them completely just to get through the game.
2. There should only be one character to play.
It makes no sense at all to send his best friends to an early grave, I was laughing at this. I send "my soon to be" girlfriend to a haunted mental asylum. Haha
3. The many silent hill references gets in the way of the atmosphere
4. The hauntings should have been realtime and with means of defending yourself. Not annoying puzzles.
5. The game is simply to long.
Pros: 1. Beautiful backgrounds and house design. The first two chapters are the best.
The haunted house, the dingy apartment blocks are fun to traverse in a silent hill 3 kinda way. Sure, there are some setpieces within the levels that gets overrused. But the first two levels i was on the edge of my seat. The rest of the later labyrinthic levels are simply to long.
2. The music and effects are actually great in places, and the haunting activity can be rather creepy and fun. I also died deveral times and the hauntings happened in different places.
I don't know if those where random bugs but there where almost never the same scares wich was a great idea to keep players on edge.
Conclusion: song of horror can feel nostalgic in places and the first two chapters are the most focused ones. But they could have cut out many of the annoying beyond belief puzzles they wouldn't be missed. The terrible, voiceacting, permadeath, ghost puzzles and switching characters all contribute to making the game alot more confucing that it ever had to be. I would still recommend playing through this game, cause the graphics are fine and the rooms and hauntings are creepy if the correct ones are triggered. There's a really good horror game under the hood. But it couldn't reach it's potential.
The Boogeyman (2023)
The Banality of modern horrors
Boogeyman is a Prime example of everything's that wrong with modern horror movies the last 15-17 years.
Boogeyman is not a horror movie. To call it that is almost herecy. It's a spooky adventure for the youngest with cgi effects. I fell asleep soundly, like a teenager after a great party. Never scared one single moment.
Boogeyman is also exactly the same type of horror that James Wan cemented with conjuring. An overhyped, terrible haunted house poltergeist clone not even the slightest scary. Since then every horror director in the industry has produced the same cashgrab garbage to a numb nextgen audience who grew up with 90% disney's cgi factory produced cgi junk doesn't have the parience for slow burn atmospheric horror. Every horror is for 11 year olds. From smile, knockknock, get out, meghan, insidius etc.
Not all bad movies per-se but definitely not scary for an adult either. Horror has become family saturdays. Boring and stupid cringe. And boogeyman is a biproduct of the crappy horror culture we have today. American cinema and expecially the horror genre has long since flickered out in a whimper.
Hear me out!
My mind was wandering yet again.. to better times where horror movies where actually truly frightening and uncomfortable OR they where really well-made and fun! (The sentinel, Don't Look now, The Exorcism, The Thing, Poltergeist, Amityville horror, House by the cemetery, Pet cemetary, Tourist Trap, Maniac, The fly and the list goes on.
My point Is that horror movies like that Isn't made at all anymore, to truly scare the audience out of their comfort zone.
There's 4 types of american horror.
1: gollum-like cgi monsters. I promise they are in almost every movie from barbarian to smile and quiet place. And there's only one movie that gets this right. The Descent!
2: Ghost Hag movies with white makeup
3: billion of teen slashers with terrible annoying characters and crappy effects. You just want it to end allready! None of these movies have inventive scary killers or erotic scenes u could fall back on if the movie was a stinker, they where certainly raunchy.
4: hipster horror ( Midwich Cuckoos, Ari aster movies, Vvitch, lighthouse, personal shopper, dark song etc. These type of horror is often the Best ones in the genre but can also be the Absolute most pretentious garbage ever made= Speak no evil, Infinitypool, In the earth etc. Booooring as hell.
I can't recommend Boogeyman to anyone really.. It's everything I despice in modern "horror"
Ugly CGI Gollum monster gets shotgunned with 100 bullets and survive " next scene- girl goes down the basement with a hockey stick.
Even though she saw the monster survive the shotgun bullets?? And why do the the family not turn on the lights in their perfect modern villa??! If the monster is afraid of the light turn on the freeaakkn lightswitches!
Misanthrope (2023)
Great actor, terrible actress
Shailene woodley seems totally out of her element here. Her acting is perhaps the most wooden and lifeless ive seen all year.
All she does is looking around clueless and cries alot.. and it's a shame, dark cop thrillers like Seven, striking distance, copycat etc. These doesnt come out very often so it's a shame that the dialogue and acting fails.
Otherwise this movie could have been great. Story is totally fine but woodleys dry acting when she walks into the shopping mall with all the dead and she doesnt react at all. Its just surreal. And the immersion is broken faster then hyperlight speed.
I don't know what the deal with the script or director was but didn't they like watch the scene? The movie is ok watch but won't be remembered.
Murder House (2020)
One time only experience
I had some freetime to play through some of these ps1 retro throwback dingy horror games that seems to get lots of attention on popular yt horror channels. I grew up in the early eighties with free vhs sleaze, arthouse, giallo, and slashers so i jumped right in. I choosed three titles that gotten great reviews: no one lives under the lighthouse, Mothered and MurderHouse. First, None of these games come close to ps1 level of graphics, It's really more homebrew B-production with bugs. And i think the games falter because of the blocky grainy graphics. Many reviews reasoning that the games gets scarier with these fugly tape graphics but I don't agree completely. It mostly strain my eyes if done poorly. The ps1 horror games looked way better and they where still way more scary. These games has such terrible lego character models and cars and houses that it was hard to immerse myself or get afraid of the grimy pixelated stalkers and monsters beyond the first encounter. This is my next problem with the games, after the first encounter with the easter bunny, or the spider demon in lighthouse It wasn't that scary anymore. I don't think the games should reveal the villain directly. I think they should slowly introduce it in clever ways. I recently played Amnesia The Bunker, and the devs seem to have perfected this horror formula.
But not even that ghoul monster is scary after a few encounters and deaths. The problem could easily be fixed if the ghoul transformed or mutated throughout the game, or in the case of murderhouse, i had to look up wiki to Solve a few of the obtuse puzzles. These puzzles really dragged the atmosphere down. (I'm talking about the piano piece.) I cant stand time consuming puzzles like that in horror games. Still, it was fun entertainment playing through these titles but i would never return to them like i did Silent Hill 20 playthroughs. This is the problem with lots of Indie horrors nowdays, they are not finetuned for replayability once you know the ins-outs.
Not even gorgeous horror games like Signalis that only have these annoying, "look up wikipedia" code puzzles that drags the whole atmosphere down. Or saturnalia that is excellent but ultimately dragged down because the monster isn't scary at all.
The perfect horror throwback would be the atmosphere of the first half of lighthouse, the lite rpg and weapon management of the bunker. A monster that doesn't reveal itself fully until the end. And ofcourse the r-rated sleaze of puppet combo. I mean.. just look at silent hill "the room" cool games that "thinks outside the box" doesn't exist today. A paranoid dude who's looking out the window occationally and a big black hole that is growing in the wall. It's super scary but Devs are afraid! Of making them. TripleA will never make them. So im glad indie horror games exist. I just hope their next title they step up the graphics and horror to 11.
Final Fantasy XVI (2023)
Final Fantasy 16 is a borefest
I'm so sick and tired of these handsomepunk powder skin emo characters with their ridiculous massive steel swords big as a treetrunk. It's just hilariously bland. Ff16 is also made much worse because it lacks its own identity. I don't want a gameofthrones, thewitcher cgi dark boringness while playing a ff. But then again i haven't played a good ff since X.
The ff series has become such a tiresome trope that I can't tell the videogames heroes /heroines apart anymore. None of these adventures sticks in my head cause of how familiar they look. It's like FF visual identity got stuck after that terrible movie and nothing since then has changed much. Gone are the days of mechs and playing as a chubby cook. Or a manufactured wizard. Where are the ghibli esque heroes and imperfect characters i could feel for?? The games have had the exact same annoying looking cosplay hairdos. Only difference really is the hair color. Why can't the devs change up this tired formula? They should make some playable characters with a darker side to them instead and completely change the artistic style and concept of FF alltogheter.
Maybe im the minority but almost every jrpg the last few years looks the same, plays the same, feels the same. A bland looking hero with a ridiculus name doning a pair of leather gloves wielding a huge piece of garbage brick. Im so tired of FF. This will be the last game i ever play.
Alien: Isolation (2014)
The Alien Queen is missing.
The only negative i have about alien isolation Is that it drops the scare factor in it's third phase. The enemy variety is very low once you get tired of the routine of Alien hunting you. They should have introduced the Alien Queen towards end game, having to sneak past this giant T-rex alien in some sequences would have been pure nightmare fuel.
Otherwise Isolation is a near flawless horror experience and the best horror game since Silent Hill2. The weirdest part is that thousands of fp horror games has come out ever since, and none of them manage to surpass Alien Isolation in quality gameplay or art design. This evidence truly shows that 99% horror game devs should just quit making these shovelware garbage games.
I want quality horror titles, not Outlast, P. T or another puzzle walking sim number 4000.
I want to be able to defend myself from the threat in clever ways, I want gunplay and melee. Why do some devs even work on horror games when nothing in the game is scary or immersive?
Maid (2021)
Good show
Maid, just like 99% of Netflix shows are way to long and drawn out. Maid has excellent acting and is a a down to earth, cgi free tvshow, wich is rare nowdays. I was instantly hooked by the realism of it all. But the show dragged on 5 episodes to long to hold my attention span all the time. Even If terrible relationships and poverty in real life is absolute struggle it doesnt translate all that well into a10 hour show. There's perhaps 20 unlucky events that takes place just because the maid is to naive or just unvilling to realise the bad apples in her miserable situation. While she is supersmart and wise in some occurences she still ends up being abused by these men. And this back and forth is sometimes annoying. Still, a very good tvshow that could easily be a 2 hour movie instead and be more impactful experience.
The Offering (2022)
So bad..
Lazy filmmaking with horrendously bad cgi effects. That digital goat looks like s×××
The little girl isn't scary at all. The monday all week stuff is just so incredible bad. The offering is Overbloated with horror tropes and terrible effects. The light effects in the morgue when the demon gets closer was the best part. It was actually pretty good until the horrid cgi post rendering trash was shown.
Ive seen 400 horror movies just this and last year alone and they pretty much all sucks. Why is horror movies today so incredibly lazy and bad?? Its the same movies over and over Again. Most horror movies are so bad its impossible to tell them apart. The possession, concecration, resurrection, the offering, the night house, the deep house, the crap house. The invitation, the shepherd, lullaby jeeez Who can tell even tell these b junk movies apart? Who mass produce all this crap and why? The movies doesn't fill any function, originality or any artistic direction whatsoever and is not worth collecting or watching a second time. So why even waste time making them?
Noise (2023)
Another dysfunctional family!
Can netflix be any worse?! Everyday generic lowbudget european crap movies are futured. Everyday new crap. You don't care about any of these people. They can't have a single important conversation with echother so you immediately think why are this couple even togheter?? They tip toe around every single conversation like idiots. The guy is a distant ahole and the wife is a naive and lifeless. Nobody reflects on anything like normal people would. The setting with petrochemical factory that harbor secrets would be cool but those scenes are infected and destroyed by ridiculus c-grade narrative from the wife's brother. -its big, its a labyrinth, its like a djungle its scary! Buhu what a whining looser. He walked like 10 steps inside. The whole movie is like this. Im tired and netflix sucks!
Infinity Pool (2023)
Worst crap ever
I'm so done and tired of this boring trend in horror. Wannabe slowburn hipster movies son of a master horror director like father, try to be edgy. Calling themself horror when there's not a single scary suspensful scene. Not even once was i feeling that wow holy sh××× this is well made stuff! Like the Fly or Jurassic Park or Lynch Blue Velvet. Nothing is cool, not a single scene is rebel. Its soulless drivel. Second It's just annoying to watch this self-indulgent trash (Men, in the earth, suspiria remake, speak no evil, the night house, obsessor, goodnight mommy, high life. They all suck! Bad moviemaking directors that doesnt offer suspense or effects that the original masters did. Its a poor man's Horror. No artistry no horror.
The few recent movies that actually succeeds scaring with it's arthouse slowburn allegorical mess are far and between. Namely OG Ari Aster movies, under the skin, a dark song, the lodge, vvitch and a few others.
I like Skarsgård and Goth. But they are often acting under the same type of movies. Expecially Mia Goth that just jumps from directors in the a24 indie scene. Its cool for awhile but you quickly to see the pattern of her limited acting chops.
Why these movies grown stagnant and tiresome is because they all start to Blend together. With the same weird for the sake of weird plot. But none have been scary or infact great in a very long time. Is like- this cool club of filmmaker brats sitting in their expensive mansion talking thinking loudly how great their movies are. That kind of bizarre vibe.
The director. All his movies stinks! Its the type of movies that wants to be arthouse and Criterion hipster but fails at every Corner to be to anything but annoyingly stupid and boring beyond belief. Obtuse in the wrong ways the movies plot forgets itself. I don't think anything is coherrent or even comes full circle as a piece.
Migrane inducing b-crap is exactly what I think. Playing on the standard Indie slowburn scifi formula but nothing we haven't seen 500 times better before. Obsessor was also a total stinkfest. Nothing exciting happens, boring scenes are endlessly blodding and drawn out.
Anyways the ramblings..
Mia goth is beautiful and quirky as usual. Always worth watching.
I do think the underlying concept and title name was great but the rest is hollow, empty boring shell of a genre and truly toxic trend in the horror scene. Just because a horror/thriller is slowburn doesn't make it great.
Wo Long: Fallen Dynasty (2023)
Feudalborne
When the soulsborne formula it's done right, When Inspiring artistry, enemy, level design and great custom and levelling mechanics are in flow, these games can be truly immersive and addictive. Sadly to say Wo Long Is in the bottom tier of this whole genre. And that's solely because personal taste. I'm so sick and tired of the of feudal settings in videogames. (wild hearts, Tsushima, nioh, like a dragon ishin, trektoyomi, sekiro etc ) none of these titles I actually liked playing.
I find it boring to traverse these type of worlds and the combat Is way to chaotic and over the top for me. I don't find it visually pleasing to watch these lightshow battles unfold onscreen. They look ridiculous and not impactful or realistic in the confines of their own world, to be really honest.
So take this review with a grain of salt.
It's quite easy to rank them all.
Tier4. Nioh, wo long, nioh2.
Tier3. All the rest soulslikes.
Tier2: new fromsoft.
Tier1: old fromsoft.
This prooves that the soulsborne games are moving away from what made them so great to play. They are now more streamlined and action-oriented affairs.
In the beginning they where hyperfocused hellish labyrinths with lot's of details, varied enemies, weapons, traps, interesting npc's and awesome character customization. There's layers upon layers of intrigate design descisions that made demon's souls, dark souls2 such a badass fun time!
And since then it has went downhill for the genre and not in the best of ways.
Taking into consideration Is that, compared to those old games Wo long lacks in almost everyway. The game looks ugly, resolution and graphic wise its not a looker. The monster variety Is pisspoor to say the least and the level design and reused assets are a letdown.
Gone are the exciting scary enviroments to traverse. There's allready lot's of reviews out there that remarks on the same issues I have with the game. Maybe others enjoy it more then I have. I want my soulsborne games to have horror elements, sloow, heavy hitting combat with shields. I don't really want a jet li, crouching dragon, super samurais shooting fireballs from their asses type of gaming experience cause that's what every triplea game seem to be today.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Extremely cliche
I just can't stand these Trier esque horrors.
Like the most irritating psychological horrors, funny games, goodnight mommy, irreversible, serbian film etc, where the lead characters are idiots making the dumbest decisions ever and end up dying. And the root of the evil doings are never really explained.
Speak no evil is the type of horror that tries to repulse with some grotesque imagery instead of horror scares. And I often find these type of horror more depressive then scary. More like.. whats the point?
Have you seen a Trier movie you know what to expect towards the end. The movie isn't scary at all but its atmosphere is flawless and unnerving with the usual unhappy ending. Ofcourse there's plenty of movies that succeeds combining the shocking elements with scary scenes, but this movie failed to impress me. I was sleeping towards the end and i couldnt care less about the characters absolutely stupid decision making. Not everyone are rambo i get that, but the movie would have been better If they got their revenge on these psychos.
1899 (2022)
Fishy
Yet another one of those.. "Nothings at Stake because It all was a simulation" maybe the most tiresome tropes In the scifi genre, the lates The Peripheral makes the same mistake. There's no emotional impact whatsoever when you know all characters are In a digital coma prison.
Or If the character themselves choose to put the bloody vr thing on.
1899 also tries very hard to be weird for the sake of weird that It becomes transparent. I had no high hopes after the tvshow "Dark" wich I didn't like for the exact same reasons. It was never truly dark, or scary in anyway. Except the grimy brown filters wich forces you to strain your eyes just to see the screen. In 1899 It's even worse. All light sources need to be turned off to actually see what was going on. It's like watching Das Boot, but with instagram filters layered on.
And 1899 never becomes scary or tense. There's not a single creepy scene, "not In Dark either"
Because the filmmakers can't capture what makes a something truly scary or nervewrecking. The closest to creepy Are when the whole crew becomes hypnotized and jump ship.
Still, no monochrome filters, brutalist architect or european setting can save 1899 being an absolute yawn. To sum up the show perfectly -The epileptic dude forgets his medicine while working In the ships boiler room. How do you even forget something important like that?!
And that's every characters behavior. Running around like confucing idiots, looking for something, forgetting something, asking the wrong questions, return to the same locales over and over again. Just to fill out each episode with monotonious googlyblibloo
No character makes any rational decisions and It becomes truly annoying to watch people walk In slowmo with their lantern for the 50th time.
1899. "the cube meets ghostship meets mullholand drive meets evil scientist, meets philadelphia experiment meets roger eggers. And all aformentioned succeeds better Cause the director knows how to frame a picture.
Keeping It interesting all the way through.
Whatever the overhyped fad from critics, 1899 Isn't particularly exciting. I actually gave up watching after ep7. Just because how much It reminded me of modern Trendsetting.. I did anyhow love some of the aesthetics, the black ships, the clothes and other props like the ship Interior. But that's about It. I like the german industrial look, but It takes more then cool locations to make a truly great show.
1899 could have been a much better show If It was about a fictional bermuda triangle, with the ghostship horror plot many of us thought to believe. Cause that would have been Way Waaay cooler! The characters death would have had impact. The scares would have been realistic, And most important fact of all, -There's simply no great "Ghostship" movie or show out there. So 1899 was definetely a complete miss of opportunity..
The aesthetics are there but not the plot or atmosphere build up. Not even the actors was that Interesting except the kaptän.
If the show was 5ep long, cutting out the yawning parts It could have been something cool. Imagine a horror tvshow that takes place on a ghostship, wow! Allready 1000 times better. Well.. to bad..
The Electrical Life of Louis Wain (2021)
Hilariously Bad
Haha You can't shoehorn Benedict In any kind of role! He's a good actor but Louis Wain was clearly not the right part for him. It's laughably bad overracting, and It shows Benedict feel uncomfortable. It even shines through the lenses that this was a huge mistake.
In this movie He plays an Introvert with a childlike demeanor and shyness of women.
The problem Is And will always be, Is that Benedict doesn't have that rebellious, handsome weird charisma of a young Johnny Depp. It's clear as day the acting has a connection and vibe of Edward shissorhands and the likes. But fails to capture any sense of melancholic wonder. It just feels odd watching benedict In his wrong element.
It doesn't help that the movie Is also pretty tame. I would say skip this and watch Imitation game or something else.
The Peripheral (2022)
Braindead Sleeping Pill
Yet again the hype reviews win.
Besides the exeptionally bad title "the periphrieelll" something, This Is the absolute worst kind of Scifi theme ever.
When the events and actions doesn't take place In real time just to get some monotonious action plot going.
Nobody except 10 year olds can like silly action like this. Invinsible cars! Ooooohhh.. It's just so immature and cringe. It's to much CGI nonsence!
And It looks insanely bland. It's 40% cheap filters and 60% extremely bad CGI. It's so bad that the whole show looks like a modern star trek episode. Blurry, boring, fake. Distant from any realistic aspects. The cityscapes looks fake, the backgrounds looks super fake, everything Is greenscreen even some parts of the trailer that the characters play their VR. Why on earth does this show have a 85 rating??
This must be the ugliest show Ive watched since rings of power. Cause of all the digital cheap photoshop rendering. And the plot of the VR part.. jeeez
This has been done to death! In endless movies and tv shows that made It way better.
I just can't stand this type of hypocrisy ratings either so I give It the 1 star as It rightly deserves. Wow. . Im a huge scifi fan, but this Is not what the genre needs. It doesn't need another ridiculous factory made, scyfy looking trash. And yeah westworld sucks to. It's the ephitome of garbage CGI and bland storytelling that threading water. Sleep inducing, and boring as hell.
Them (2021)
Weird In a bad way
This show Is like migrane. It shows us twisted exploatation and torture just because of it.
Them" creates no impact but instead come of as utterly cartoonish. Wanting to shock but How much pain can the family handle before they go bananas and we the viewers just find it rediculous. Each character Is like that irritating young king In games of thrones. Everyone Is a psycho here. Every last one has no braincells so its hard to care about this absolutely bonkers show. Ti west directed a good episode but the rest, with the totally psycho priest and his idiot victims that didn't get the hell out of dodge before the religions freaks took them. That episode sucked, and the mother's frustrating incompetency making every situation 100times worse. I get that the director try to shock us woth racial injustice turned up to max. But It doesnt get the job done In a clever way.
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)
Not scary or well-made
Why del toro Is so hyped Is baffling.
He hasn't made a really cool movie since pans labyrinth. He often makes fairytales for young adults but It's more leaning on the CGI fantasy side. Generic bad stuff that you see in shows like teen wolf, cursed, supernatural or locke and key etc. Everything looks uncanny fake photoshop style. It was not suprising to see this almost got an 8 score. Somehow everything he's involved with got high scores just because of the hype. A silent hill that was never made, mountain of madness that never was made etc. Instead we got a 99% Kaju monster robot movie nobody liked. To have a horror themed episodical show Is always a fun great Idea If It turns out good. But nothing really comes close to the classic anthology movies of the 80s, 90s. They have better practical effects, packs more punch, better acting and often scarier stories to tell.
The second episode had a great 80s touch, with some real practical effects but also cgi rats? Why really? Why have that when a real rat easily would sell the realism?? And no real insects or snakes on the dinner table? Why?? Had nobody watched Indiana jones or even graveyard shift? Go watch an old horror movie instead. Its more worth It.
My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)
Terrible trash
If the cheap CGI eagle and owl in the beginning doesn't scare you of? The 13 year something teens will. Pretending to be 80s teens without any convincing.
The 80s fad since 2018 has produced alot of garbage and this movie Is one of them. To be honest I stopped caring after 10 minutes, and only watched 15 minutes more to write a review. When I realised this will not be worth watching at all. Still I think a review Is very important cause alot of these movies keeps being made Even If nobody wish for them. The actresses are not funny and the movie Isn't scary at all. It's actually sick that ridiculous immature tween projects like these gets greenlight? You can take the cheapest looking streaming teen tvshow and you got an episode right here. No budget, no acting, terrible concept, bad wardrobe, trashy effects etc etc. Because of some tired book nobody has ever read. It's nowhere near even the most 80s retro throwbacks the last couple of years. And that's bad. Stay clear of this one.
Prey (2022)
The Concept Is greater then the movie
It's the best predator In ages, but Is letdown by horrendously ugly CGI. Wich Is common nowdays. The CGI scenes with the bear fight and the puma/Lion figh looks fake as F.
Why they persist making these classic franchises not concidering Only practical effects Is baffling. The use of CGI shouldn't even be noticed. It should be a second tool. To smooth things over.
Still there's plenty of action scenes that works really well. Predator Is though as ever to take down and It almost becomes ridiculous when the monster keeps getting back up, even after a gunshot wound through his skull.
Prey Is a mix of both.. and It could have been a flawless movie If the director didn't make It so unrealistic. Predator becomes more scary If His not immortal. But filmmakers just cant get that. The threat Is more threatening when they arent superman.
Kol (2020)
I Hate this movie
The call Is a movie that got high scores solely because It's weird. I can't stand directors who exploit these grey areas where movies automaticly get high scores the more obtuse they are. I mean where Is the horror?? Not a single time was I scared or felt any kind of excitement. The cgi effects are really cheap. The characters are dull. So Im suppose to belive i would talk and laugh like the back to the future girl was on the phone?? Its a terrible overly complex pretto story where nothing leads to anything horror. There's some cheap looking cgi fire effects that looks more like from a music video. The acting is just terrible and no atmosphere or build up to speak of. Terrible movie! Just terrible in every single way. I do not recommend this pseudo intellectual, pretto garbage to anyone.