There's really something here, something very special, charming and endlessly hilarious. Another reviewer (in their 1 star review) pointed out that there is a Ren and Stimpy element about the animation, and I was like "yes, that's it, that's the ingredient ". The pacing of the shorts, which are usually under 5 minutes long, really improves the humour, jokes and slapstick happenings come thick and fast. Goofy is sometimes a bit gross, which I like because a clean Goofy never did make sense to me, and Donald Duck is his usual grumpy self. A lot of fun. When am I going to hit this reviews character minimum limit, sheesh!
Reviews
22 Reviews
Poison
(II) (2023)
Sometimes I'm not sure that being in a Wes Anderson flick is actually acting.
28 October 2023
The whole point of acting is that a person plays another person realistically, that Ben Kingsley convinces us he's this doctor, that Tom Hardy convinces us he's Charlie Bronson or Venom, hell, that Bill Murray IS and always will be Garfield and Peter Venkman. But when the characters are so stylised by Wes Andersons weird weird style, is that going to happen? We know that people don't talk in those stacatto rhythms, they don't run really fast over there with their arms by their sides, they don't snap their heads around like budgies on crack to talk to the camera. So we are left with the question of what it is the actors are actually doing in such films as this, because acting is about bringing a character to Life, into reality.
The story was good, I liked the story, and the moral. I could have just read the book for that. I just felt that the characters shouldn't have been the strange little cartoons that Wes Anderson spits out.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it works! The Grand Budapest Hotel is a masterpiece, and the characterisation I'm moaning about seemed to work very well in that movie. However, in these shorts I'm not sure it did.
The story was good, I liked the story, and the moral. I could have just read the book for that. I just felt that the characters shouldn't have been the strange little cartoons that Wes Anderson spits out.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it works! The Grand Budapest Hotel is a masterpiece, and the characterisation I'm moaning about seemed to work very well in that movie. However, in these shorts I'm not sure it did.
Reptile
(2023)
A film you can confidently watch while doing other things, just look up and rewind it a bit at the couple of loud bits.
1 October 2023
This film was unbelievably slow. The director took the idea of a noir detective film being slow and "milked the overtime" for all it was worth. By the time (about half way through) that we get a slo-mo shot of Del Toro walking down a corridor, it feels like he, the director, is just taking the proverbial P. This film has been made for the people who like to play Infinity 8 Ball with one eye on the TV. If you arent doing that, if you actually tune in, you'll click onto what's going on pretty sharpish. It's an old story, slowly done, with nothing added to make the viewer feel they couldn't have themselves edited at least half an hour of superfluous nonsense out of it. This is a film for people who liked Hereditary and that one about the aliens sensitive to ultrasound. For people who haven't watched many films and aren't aware this is one Big trope. Thats who will find this film "a thinker". At some point during the movie they'll Google Neo-noir, find themselves on the noir wiki, and find themselves assured all the atmospheric shots and Sunset-Beach-style agonising close-ups are totally justified. I'm going to give this film a 4, because some of it was well acted. Slowly. Except that rubbish Wally chap trying to give away his Rolex and some loose women, and the whole bleeding plot.
Dexter: New Blood
(2021–2022)
Contrary to other reviewers, I found this season a real slog and the finale the best part of it.
27 June 2022
As the title says, I found this season very boring, and even the venerable Mr Crabbs couldn't fully brighten the twilight. In a way, it made me wonder what had been so magical about Dexter, because most of it was gone. And what was with that billionaire guy, where did he go? The actor playing Harrison was only just OK. Yes, we couldn't have expected Dexter to be as busy as he was in Miami, but the pace made me Want him to be busier killing people. For all the ending was predictable, it was fitting imho. I'll leave it there.
Dolittle
(2020)
What happened to CGI?
17 April 2020
We used to be good at CGI, Look at Titanic and Jurassic Park. Then watch this thing. The animals may as well have been puppets or men in suits, I feel this would have looked better. The dog was particularly bad. Also, the rest of it was guff too
Dracula
(2020)
Riviting Count Dracula, but Holly Wells steals the show
2 January 2020
I've neither read the book nor watched any old Dracula films, except that stupidity with Luke Evans in it. It was a nice place to come from to watch this. I found it very entertaining and enjoyable. Excellent writing. I won't say any more.
In the Tall Grass
(2019)
Rubbish for the following reasons :
4 October 2019
It's not well paced
It's very predictable (I haven't read the book)
It's cheesily acted
Its not well shot
Did I say it was predictable?
Honestly don't bother. Not even worth the watch for Patrick Wilson as his character is so badly written, there isn't any chance for him to act much
Hell Fest
(2018)
I would have rated it a five, but...
14 September 2019
... that terrible squalky actress Bex Taylor Klaus. We live in a time where people, particularly as-men, are completely OK with annoying the audience, as long as its memorable for Whatever reason. And that's clearly why they cast this actress. You ain't gonna like her, but you'll remember her for sure.
Other than that, it's a five. It's a throwback, deliberately so. With nothing to add to the genre. I don't want throwbacks in cinema, stale stuff that just washes over you with no surprises. It'll make money due to having a catchy title and people who like throwbacks. But it's not trying hard enough to do anything meaningful or fresh.
Other than that, it's a five. It's a throwback, deliberately so. With nothing to add to the genre. I don't want throwbacks in cinema, stale stuff that just washes over you with no surprises. It'll make money due to having a catchy title and people who like throwbacks. But it's not trying hard enough to do anything meaningful or fresh.
Weird
6 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Was disappointed. Reasonably acted I guess. But I didn't get how Mrs Bundy was all oblivious and determined that her man warnt no monster, but then she'd grassed him in!? So the identifit picture is in the papers and on the telly, Mrs Bundy thinks "oh that looks like my Teddy, I'd better phone the rozzers so they can rule him out."?
Apparently she had clues it was Ted but they never showed them. That don't make sense since it was a film from her point of view so they didn't have to do crime reconstructions etc. They missed out a lot I reckon, I wasn't particularly wanting loads of grim details about his crimes, but the result of there being practically none throughout the film was that I started questioning whether someone were suggesting he was wrongly accused. Effron was ok
Mary Poppins Returns
(2018)
Disappointed
10 March 2019
Nah, it's just wrong. Emily Blunt is just weird as Mary Poppins. She has a harsh tone somewhere in the lower registers of her voice that just scared me. And why oh why did Julie bleeding Walters have to be in it? Why does she need to be in anything, with her overacting? Then there was the problem with all the songs being rubbish. Not one catchy tune. And the film was way too long. I'm giving this a 2star rating because the dolphin was cute
Serenity
(I) (2019)
Tripe. Watch Black Mirror instead
3 March 2019
I really did not like this. I got to the end and felt cheated, like the writer/director had played a smug game on his viewers. And the ending was sappy. Honestly, if you want similar story lines done a whole lot better, watch Black Mirror
The Island
(2005)
Gave me a migraine
7 December 2018
Michael Bay does not know the meaning of the word subtle. He wouldn't know subtlety if it floated down and gently booped him on the shoulder. Instead of watching this, watch the Michael Bay segment of Family Guy's season 10 episode Three Directors. The only reason I watched all of this movie was to see the tropes Family Guy predicted. Including the nausea and hradache inducing camera spinning and flashing lights abd oversaturatuon of everything. Like a David Guetta song on camera.
The Nun
(2018)
Pish
1 November 2018
Pretty bad. Things that are bad: CGI, acting, writing, this review. I'm now just typing till IMDB stops telling me my review is too short. This film is bad. James Wan seems to give all his films away now. He should have directed this. The new Annabelle film is to be directed by a writer who has never directed before. Why is this not long enough now? Stop being lazy James Wan
No Escape Room
(2018 TV Movie)
Pretty bad even for a tv movie
23 October 2018
I'm only giving this a 3 instead of a 1 because it's a tv movie and I feel I should be less critical. It tried too hard to do a lot. But it's just weird and silly in the end. A house with a ghost, time loops and temporal shifts. And dodgy acting. Did have some good suspense which was lost due to sheer silliness
The First Purge
(2018)
What. Was. Marissa Tomei. Thinking?
3 October 2018
Terrible terrible movie. I was a follower of this franchise but the scripting and acting were just so so bad. Presumably the profits from the previous Purge films were spent on enlisting Marissa Tomei, but they should have saved their cash. Lex Scott Davis's acting made me laugh, as did all her really obvious lines.
Hereditary
(2018)
Pants
30 August 2018
I really don't mind if a movie goes over my head and I need to look up an explanation online after watching it, and I'm not the stupidest movie watcher. So I'm watching this, confused, suspending belief at the weird stuff thinking I will be able to look up a explanation. Like i had to with Primer. But that movie had big convoluted graphs that explained everything. So i didnt feel cheated. There really is no explanation that fits all the events in Hereditary. At all. So it must be a metaphor. And i hate movies that are metaphors because I'm rarely That well versed in religion or greek tragedies that I get them. If its a metaphor for grief, then its a very insensitive one. I'm giving this 4 stars because the set pieces and the lighting were decent.
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