catebaum Reviews

Oppenheimer (I) (2023)

Interesting but has some issues

[8/10 · 9 November 2023]

A study of male nihilism showing all facets of war and destruction and the careless ways men think. Theory vs. Real life, all warring with each other in a bubble where women are outside looking in. However, I didn't see the need for the naked sex scenes. She was a real person who wasn't all glam or anything, and it seemed the wrong texture for the rest of the movie. Pretty sick of women being the sexy texture. She could have been in a sheet or gown and then maybe I would have been able to concentrate on the scene itself. Emily Blunt is nicely sour. I liked the CGI faces they gave her. But the Florence Pugh sex scenes and the music felt wrong. Nolan should persuade Hans Zimmer back to do his soundtracks. The films don't feel right without him, and the music overwhelms the scenes, and just feels like fake Zimmer unfortunately. And come on, stop hiring Branagh. Someone somewhere has to realise he can't act... But the cameo from Rami Malik and Cillian Murphy doing serious Robin Williams voice were worth the watch for sure.

Ava (IV) (2020)

How did this draft get made

[4/10 · 10 October 2023]

There is nothing about this movie that makes sense even in its own universe. There are so many blunders in production that it becomes a game to watch for continuity errors. The actors must have somehow been hoodwinked into this cast, because they couldn't have read the script before signing on. Ava could not possibly act like she does and not have been killed before the film started. The handlers are careless and sloppy and would have been terrible at their jobs. I began to wonder if the film was supposed to be about a small gang of mavericks who were just terrible at being assassins and get caught within a few weeks. That would have made sense more than what we are supposed to believe. Why Common was cast as a love interest is beyond me. And Geena Davis, as Chastain's mom? Ridiculous. Just all out shameless direction and production. The sort of filmmaking that makes me very angry.

All the President's Men (1976)

A great film with a strangely unsatisfying arc

[8/10 · 10 October 2023]

There are shots in this film that are just beautiful and powerful, and completely original at the time, many times copied over in later movies. The acting is great. However, the climax of the story is thrown away at the very end, which spoils the whole thing. And suddenly the movie is over. Why nobody told Goldman this screenplay needed finishing somehow more fully is beyond me. It's so obvious. It probably made more sense on paper, but that seems impossible. But the cinematography makes watching the film entirely worth it even so. The fact it is shot so well makes it just so much better than nearly all films made in its shadow.

The Idol (2023)

A masterpiece of contemporary satire-horror

[10/10 · 14 June 2023]

This is an amazing character study of the music industry in LA today. Thoughtfully cast, beautifully shot and edited, and a perfect haunting script with deep and believable characters that captures modern-day LA and the sleaze that moves within its underbelly. Brilliant, and I hope it catches on, because it deserves at least the same if not more kudos than Euphoria. Lily-Rose Depp is amazing in this and the story is unique, dark, and horrific, funny, and alarming. It's like literary fiction on the screen. A brutal feminist study of the rot in music culture and all it carries, vampire-like, along with it.

White Noise (I) (2022)

Abysmal vanity

[1/10 · 1 January 2023]

Disgusting that this cost $140m. It could have been done for $2mil tops. In fact, how this screenplay got past its producers is downright unbelievable. No plot arc, a terrible adaptation of dialogue - note Cronenberg pulled off DeLillo dialogue supremely well in Cosmopolis. Adam Driver used to be an actor you could rely on to deliver. Now he's in the worst of the worst vanity projects going. This and the Sparks movie have nigh finished him off. He'll be doing Marvel offshoots forever after this. Gerwig, shoe-horned in, seeing as she's married to the director, does her overgrown teen whine, ruining what could have been a sinister and creeping sense of the world falling in on itself as in the book. A massve fail, one of the worst films I've seen this year. Is Netflix money laundering? It's like one of those Chinese mafia movies starring Nic Cage that's so bad you just know it was how they cleaned their money after some massive drug heist. Makes no sense given how bad this was all round. Read the book instead.

Libélulas (2022)

Brutal depiction of life on the edges

[6/10 · 16 December 2022]

Cata and Alex live inland of Malaga in static homes in the country. They dream of getting enough money together to leave and start again on the coast. But life is hard, and there is no work, their families are broken and both are carers for family members at a young age. But when Alex sees a way out, everything falls apart. Ferocious performances from both main actors, as expected, but also great performances turned in across the cast. It's desperate and brutal, and you'll be wishing for things to be okay. The only issue is the ending, which needed to be a little less abrupt. We deserved to see what happens with Alex in full, but in another way, that's how it goes. Having lived among very poor people in the Malaga region, I thought this film is very realistic and brings to life the terrible choices people have to make when they are trapped by poverty. I watched this film in Spanish, but hopefully there will be subtitles in the future.

Fleishman Is in Trouble (2022–2023)

Baffling lack of characters to cheer for

[4/10 · 16 December 2022]

Every single character, with the exception of the son and his sister, is awful, bland, and a terrible person. They have bad ideals and horrible moral compasses, treating their kids worse than dogs and having no sense of anyone else's feelings around them. Jesse Eisenberg really needs to see a chiropractor. His spine rivals the Elephant Man and his bedside manner is completely off for a doctor, and for that matter, anyone useing "the apps". Women are portrayed as hysterical screaming monsters and men as grotesque little boys with too much money. It's completely baffling how anyone is comparing this to Woody Allen, who writes self-effacing, literary, interesting characters who find themselves in silly situations. This is bland people finding themselves in bland situations and reacting poorly. I didn't believe a one of them. The only coincidence is that it's set in NYC. No idea how this book even got published. It's nothing as heralded.

Wolf and Dog (2022)

Hypnotic and beautiful, but could be tighter

[7/10 · 28 October 2022]

I saw this film at a festival this week. It's a very beautiful film, well shot with fabulous actors in every role, perfectly cast. The island is a little fantasy in itself, and it's not entirely clear if what we are seeing is a fable rather than anything meant to be realistic. Ana lives with her mother and brothers and parties with her gay friends, one of whom is having issues with his dad. Much glitter and whale cries later, she explores her own sexuality. The film suffers from being in love with Ana's face at times, and many scenes need a trim by maybe 5 or 10 seconds, outstaying their welcome. I would have liked to have it explained how there were so many gay teenagers on this one island, as it seemed disproportionate. I wonder if we were meant to assume you could take a train off the island by a bridge or something, or if there is another part of the island that's a city, or if they took a boat, so that was really confusing given the introduction said this was an island blah blah with no mention of this city part they travel to near the end. If there was a city, then nobody would leave? I dunno, that part was misty, and we all talked about it after and were mixed up about that, but I suppose the director assumed incorrectly we all knew where this place was. But it was a relaxing and beautiful film to watch, and strikes a chord for any queer person who grew up in a Catholic country.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Sort of hated it at the beginning but it grew on me

[6/10 · 28 October 2022]

My 2-star review of Episode 1 and 2 was never published by IMDB and miraculously disappeared. However, I'm sort of glad because I think I took this show all wrong to begin with. I think if you want it to be a LOTR piece like the films or books, forget it. But if you see it as being a new thing entirely, it rolls along apace and has some actually exciting and scary parts in it. The CGI is rough in places, and I'm not down with the accents, especially not the Scottish dwarves -- surely they should be Welsh?, Irish hobbits, or Cockney orcs, but it grew on me when I stopped taking it seriously. My main criticism is that I can't see how adults can take it on board at times as it's too kiddie, and the horrific parts, especially Episode 6 onward, are far too scary for kids. So it does fall between two chairs there. Also, come on Galadriel, what's your motivation? So far, it's just "I can't stop!" Well,, it's not Pringles. I need something to explain her gruntyness and ever-serious face just bossing everyone around. Hopefully that will come in Season 2.

Blonde (2022)

It's a horror movie not a biopic

[8/10 · 29 September 2022]

People who wanted a Marilyn biopic turn away. It's not that. The book on which the film is based is a creepy slink through the darkness of Hollywood and the machine of goddess creation. Those who think Marilyn Monroe was a good girl are naive and uninformed. She was a real woman with needs and addictions who lived pretty wildly for most of her life. The scenes with the talking fetus are not for me, and seem rather by rote and pro-life, representing a full baby when it would have been a few cells at the point of her abortions. Also cloying is the suggestion she was obsessed with finding her father, which was overplayed here.

However, most of the movie Ana de Armas pulls off a brilliant performance, and although some on here have criticised her accent, it should be said that you are forgetting Marilyn worked on various accents with foreign lilts, just listen to her in Niagra and Some Like It Hot to hear her added Latina or French accents on words. Her voice changed depending on who she was talking with, and de Armas pulls this off, unfortunately her being Cuban will mean this clever trick will be misinterpreted as her doing the accent wrong.

The violence and famous JFK scene is both grotesque and necessary, and reminded me of Lost Highway or Mulholland Drive. This film doesn't destroy an icon but shows another side to her life, and how it would have been for women in Hollywood. Showing them as Vestals for gods was an interesting angle, and don't forget, from the book written by a woman.

People are saying, can't there be some happy moments? But no, this film is about the darkness, and wants you to feel the pain she endures over and over while trying to exist. It gets Lars Von Trier dark at times.

The scenes where Norma channels Marilyn are genius, and Neon Demon-like. Unfortunately, maybe sixty percent of people watching this film will insist on hating it, because they wanted it to be a biopic. Oh well. I'm glad it was made, even if it was a bit flawed.

Inside Man (II) (2022)

Just terrible plot holes and tone, mostly around the stick

[4/10 · 29 September 2022]

I'm just going to list the plot holes. I find it incredible nobody said this in the writers' room.

1. Who keeps their dirty stuff on a USB stick in 2022? First the man from the church and in the same day, the son! Who does that? I'd say nobody. And yet, two characters keep their viewing on a USB stick in the same half hour! Baffling.

2. In all the world, Ed needs the vicar to hide the stick? Couldn't he just have hidden it, I dunno, anywhere in the massive huge world? The world is a big place and a USB stick is tiny, right? His mother is not a superhero. Slip it behind the organ! In a book! Hide it anywhere, and she wouldn't find it. Again, why did he have it on a stick, and not just downloaded at home? Ridiculous. She'd just find it on his laptop or browsing history.

3. Why on earth would the maths teacher need to use a stick to transfer the maths modules? Why didn't she email them to the son? Another ridiculous point. And gets more ridiculous when you consider that she then opens the folders on the stick when everyone in the world would have just dragged and dropped the modules without opening the stick then the folder. Crazy!

4. Why wouldn't the vicar just say, oh, wrong stick, this must belong to the weirdo at church, let's go to the police and have him arrested right now? Even if she didn't believe him, the police would check the bloke's computer and see the trail and know forensically it was him and not the vicar.

5. But WHY did the vicar even bring the stick home?!!! Why didn't he leave it in a drawer at work, where it was?

6. Why would the vicar pretend it was his because the revolting perv won't confess? Does he not want to protect the kids on the images? Of course he would! He'd go to the police immediately with the maths teacher! Who would see those images and decide to protect Ed? Totally bonkers! He's a vicar!!!

Then you get into other issues. Why on earth was a serial killer written as a cuddly sunny sidekick? He killed women! Why would anyone go to see Stanley Tucci for advice? Nobody would! He's also a killer! Why would the prison let people see him? Not a one would. They have luxurious cells, all clean and quiet. Nothing makes sense.

In a nutshell, the show makes heroes and victims of men who abuse women and children and irritants of women who are trying to help. I'm completely disgusted by it. How did this version get made? How did nobody see these issues? Amazing.

Tinkly comedic music over the serial killer, and emotive music pitying the child fancier. And then, the absolute cherry on the cake. The note from Ed "he was protecting someone else." What? Why would he say that? He'd say "protecting me" because he killed himself, and in any case, his mother knows! What a waste of resources. I love Dolly Wells and Lydia West but why are they in this?

House of the Dragon (2022– )

Much more serious than GOT

[8/10 · 7 September 2022]

No magic so far (Episodes 1-3), dragons aren't as huge as I expected considering the lore of the past explained in GOT. It's more like Rome or The Tudors than GOT. No comedy relief, no big personalities or colourful backstories with Tyrion, LittleFinger or Varys. I hope they'll be bringing in some supernatural elements and building a hero's journey from it. It's been a bit patchworky so far, but it's been watchable, and I do think they cast a solid core princess in Milly Alcock. If only she had something massive to do instead of sulking in the palace. Considering GOT opened with a beheading, a pack of magical wolves, zombie attacks, and a threat of the end of existence, we need more. But I'm watching it happy to have any form of this world back on my screen.

Love Spreads (2021)

Better than most this season

[9/10 · 23 August 2021]

There's been a lot of negativity around this movie but it's honestly a joy. Using the British-honed style of faux documentary filmmaking, it follows a girl band Glass Heart as they work on their album at the famous Rockfield Studios in England. Their manager Mark (Nick Helm) is struggling to get Kelly (Shawkat), a pretentious and uppity American and the songwriter of the band, to crack on so they can get recording, the label breathing down his neck. Meanwhile, the band is flailing in all directions -- until the brilliant and flamboyant studio guitarist Pat (Gonzalez) arrives. I wonder if Americans will get this style of filmmaking, and that might be part of the problem, but if this had been a show like Fleabag instead of a movie, I think it would have won countless awards and would have made it majestically across the pond.

Alia Shawkat is great at being disgusting here, and is a fantastic stick in the mud for Nick Helm, also turning in a fantastic performance. Chanel Cresswell is the balance for all, a believable ballast for the band. Of course, Eiza Gonzalez takes the movie away, and is addictive watching for the second half, every little eye movement and hair flick perfectly engineered for this character, moved only by Nick's grounded wife, a brilliant cameo by Dolly Wells.

This is a great film, and much better than half the movies being touted as masterpieces this season. And it's a feminist piece, no gross sex scenes, breasts out, none of that. Just a properly made story and properly thought out acting.

Annette (2021)

Misses its mark despite great performances

[5/10 · 23 August 2021]

What do you get when two white guys in California in their seventies write a musical they were originally doing as an album? Unfortunately this. Sparks, while undeniably brilliant in their youth can't write for toffee now and like Bowie's rotten musical at the end of his life, they shouldn't have bothered. The music is drab and actually embarrassing at times. The first song is great, and then the whole thing musically falls on its face.

The other thing you get when old white guys put together a project with a French director is gross and unnecessary sex scenes. Why Marion Cotillard agreed to let the world see her like that, i.e. More or less in porn, is quite bizarre and rapey. I was very put off by it. The birth scene that follows would be panned in a high school musical the actors are so bad.

On the plus side, the performances are fantastic. Adam Driver's washed up comedian who isn't even telling jokes is astounding, but the character has been written with little motivation, so makes no sense. Marion Cotillard does her best but seems put off for most of the film, probably thinking of those sex scenes. She dies far too early in the movie and her affair, a pivot of the movie, is not even hinted at, some cack-handed attempt at covering the reveal we could all see a mile off that really had little to do with anything.

The real treasures here are Simon Helberg, the absorbed conductor who gives a brilliant performance in every scene; and Devyn McDowell, a Shirley Temple-esque performer who is mindblowingly good. If only they had used her the whole film instead of the stupid puppet! It would have been so much easier to relate to if we had a real girl, and the puppet isn't even that good.

But at the end of the movie you are left wondering why this had to exist. It says nothing, makes no comment, and loses its thread pretty fast. While there are some parts that have been filmed nicely, it's no LaLa Land, and the credit sequence of everyone walking down a hill congratulating themselves is truly cringeworthy. You are left with the idea that the film was great fun to make for everyone involved, but not so much for everyone watching it.

Mare of Easttown (2021)

The tropes and the plot hole are aggravating

[7/10 · 13 June 2021]

Grumpy cop with dark family past has to work with rookie and is nasty about it. Black captain who wears a uniform although nobody else does. She has a gun, badge moment when she does something no cop would ever do, and yet, without any sort of tribunal is back at work in five seconds. Ex-husband thing, teenage daughter, custody battle for grandson...god, the tropes go on. What is this, Happy Valley?

However, despite the cruddy writing, the acting saves it (as it did with Sienna Miller in American Woman, same issue). Kate Winslet is, as everyone says, amazing, and supporting cast pull it off, accent and all. I loved Evan Peters in his new casting as a real man in real drama, though I didn't believe he would fancy Mare, nor did I think Guy Pearce would either, seeing as he's supposed to be literary and refined. I mean, she a lumpy old mare with no books in her house, isn't she? I suppose at least he left, which seems right.

I didn't like the way Erin's dad is never heard from again, nor that we never get to go to any of the funerals, which seems unlikely in a small town.

The biggest issue is the massive plot hole in episode 7. After establishing there are no other messages or calls to or from Erin's phone, Ryan says he saw texts from Erin on his dad's phone. The he sees his dad on the phone to her, that night. Hang on...what? If his dad had a burner, which is supposed to be the conceit of this head scratcher according to John, surely his son would know that burner phone was not his normal phone? Surely John wouldn't be carrying the burner around in his pocket to a family party?? And where are these burners? Disappeared? Never explained. Argh, makes no sense!

So after sitting through the whole thing, I'm pretty fed up about the clumsy plot twist, which honestly was not that believable. It was a fine thing to watch on a lazy weekend but there was at least one more pass on the script before it was ready to shoot. Oh well.

Room in Rome (2010)

Talk about the male gaze

[3/10 · 23 March 2021]

What a load of sexist rot. Maybe in 2010 this was an acceptable sort of setup, where a completely unrealistic pair of women take off all their clothes for an entire film in a hotel room and tell each other psychotic lies, one of which involves one of the women being jealous that her father only abused her sister. What? Pure male fantasy of how lesbians act. I can't believe Elena Anaya agreed to do it. She must have thought it would look different onscreen, because her character seems mentally ill and clingy while the other character is so badly drawn I have no idea what meds she's supposed to be on, so really, however beautiful they are, they are completely unattractive people. And if you think, oh well, I'll watch it for the sex, well, there's not a lot happening, to the point that for them to say they've had this mad intense love all night is laughable. The trailer cuts that together very dishonestly, considering the clip they show actually leads into a story about being abused and kids with crying rather than a sex scene of any kind. A man's idea, a man's direction, with a horrible eye all round and a blatant advertisement for Larios Room Mate with inappropriate music laid over the top of dialogue. A wasted opportunity to do something beautiful with a lesbian theme. Like Woody Allen circa Celebrity. I'm sure in retrospect both women feel sullied.

Tenet (2020)

The most plot holes ever

[3/10 · 1 January 2021]

There are so many issues with this film. Firstly, apart from John David Washington, Aaron Taylor Wood, and Robert Pattinson, who do their utmost, and at times manage some charisma through the opaque screenplay, I cannot say anything positive about the other main actors. In particular Elizabeth Debicki, who is as lifeless as she is tall, and Kenneth Branagh, who seems to be doing an impression of Antonio Banderas with the worst lines imaginable delivered with most schlock in film history. Why these two lesser tier actors were chosen for this movie is beyond me, but then again, perhaps all the good actors turned it down based on the horrendous script. It's the only explanation.

The script is so bad I can't believe anyone dared tell CN it sucked. I can't imagine how he thought it was OK. Inception and Memento do the same tricks with time travel, but they work because they never break their own rules.

Exposition is king here, with terrible Netflix-movie quality lines being spewed without grace or poetry: balls through the neck, really? And the fact that the actors agreed to it? What? They must be embarrassed. The beauty shown in filmmaking in Interstellar and Inception is lost entirely, and this is for several reasons: The characters are paper figures, no backstory. We are asked to root for a woman who is hateful and bland.

The scenery is bland and un-Nolan-like.

Masks again. People speaking through masks. Serious, Nolan? Much of the film is lost in rambling dialogue, massive amounts of exposition, and a lack of continuity. At one minute, something's important, then something else.

So, issues:

1. Why would The Protagonist risk his mission saving the entire world to sort out this boring housewife and her son, who is of no importance in the grand scheme of things? Never explained, maybe the most elaborate courtship that never gets him laid anyway.

2. Why bother with her, when she married an arms dealer/gangster and knew all about him? What kind of person does that? And yet, The Protagonist runs all over for her, and only her.

3. If the future Tenet organisation knows about the technology, why not just go back to an orderly time and destroy all necessary inverse technology?

4. Why does the future Protagonist not warn himself about everything? Why does Neil not just tell him immediately who he is and how they are best friends? He loses nothing by doing so.

5. Why would Kat not tell TP immediately that her husband wants to end the world? Instead of 2 hours into the movie?

6. Why does Priya tell TP about the algorithm 2 hours into the movie? THIS WAS THE MOVIE

7. If the CIA pills are fake, then the fact Sator plans to kill himself with it has no effect on the end of the world, as he won't die.

8. Why do we meet a scientist who says they have only found a few backwards bullets and a piece of wall and a drawer of bits n bobs with inverse technology when clearly there are whole armies of hundreds of people who have been using the technology for years and know all about it? WHO IS SHE? Feels like she is the scientist mentioned by Priya that killed herself after discovering the technology in the past, and if so, then TP met her way in the past and time travels between her lab and India, but this is not mentioned at all in the movie and we never find out.

9. The scientist clearly knows about Tenet, and is part of it, because it's their password, so if she is, she would have to already know something about it as Tenet was formed to deal with inverse technology. So why would Tenet have her in a lab with no information when they already know about inverse technology enough to have formed Tenet? And even if they did, what, TP in the future sent her the bullets and wall? In which case, he already time travelled enough to set up Tenet and knows exactly what the bullets are! UGH.

10. If the Grandfather Paradox is not seen as true in the future then why would they think what they did in the past would affect their future anyway? DOH

11. Who are these people? In the scientist scene we are told it's like WW3 but then it's one man killing himself. Makes no sense.

12. If the only thing that matters is the algorithm, stored in the thing in the city, why doesn't the team go back in time and wait until a quiet moment to go and fetch it instead of going bananas and having an all-out battle with WHO by the way, who are they?

13. If this battle went on so publicly, the CIA would have known about Tenet for years already. No secret to anyone.

14. Why crash a plane into the Freeport when all that Neil and TP have to do is contain one weakly man and pick three locks to get to the turnstile?

15. Why does TP fight with himself in the Freeport when he knows it's himself? Why does he not question Neil about this, who clearly knew already?

16. How does the turnstile work? They seem to be able to go anywhere at any time, when surely the point is you can only go back in time on your own timeline, i.e. you have to have already lived it, and you have to see yourself in the proving window going in, or you'll disappear, and yet this rule is ignored immediately by all, who seem able to go anywhere at any time through the turnstiles without saying how.

17. If you can only go back on your own timeline, the battle scene and the Freeport scene is undoable as the characters have not already been there and done that.

18. Why does Priya live in a castle in India she never leaves for her own safety, but firstly is seen walking about in the street when TP visits her, and then goes to London in a car to oversee the death of this very boring Kat woman of no value to her, especially after promising she would leave her alone? And she is immediately killed! DOH

19. How can Kat go back without a mask? Everyone else is inverse then they go back. The soldier says it to TP the first time, that if you go back you have to wear a mask. She's just going forward, being herself. If people can only go back in time inverse, how can anyone be time-travelling, especially Neil, who always appears to be going forward?

20. If the algorithm is solid chunks of metal, then whatever it is has to have been copied by now. Ridiculous.

So many other things. So many. Just lazy, terrible filmmaking. Just awful. I had to write this review because I waited months to see this, and was so disappointed that I woke up today upset.

And to boot, no Hans Zimmer soundtrack! Boo!

Wounds (2019)

A complete mess

[2/10 · 15 May 2020]

The only good thing here is Armie Hammer's performance, and the two stars are for him. This film is a perfect example of male privilege in the film industry. If this director had never made his first film so well this script would not have been picked up. The female characters are so badly written here without any motivation or agency it is obvious not one woman contributed to the making of this story. Why on earth would Dakota Johnson's character ever in a million years pick up with Armie Hammer's character? Why would Zazie Beetz drink in that bar of all places, like, ever? These very put-together women would never be involved! Oh, but they are supporting the male cast, so they have to be these beauties with no minds of their own? Truly sexist writing. Then we get to the story. What? All these set-ups, no payoff? What were the heads? The students following him? Nothing! Not that things need to be entirely explained but this was like a third-rate college screenplay, all the mysteries, nothing panned out. What a complete washout. Hopefully the last time this director gets such a massive opportunity because he wasted it and ruined it, and yet he is going about saying, oh, yeah, it's meant to be like that, when he clearly had no idea about anything and is now just making it up as he goes along to save face. I'm embarrassed this film exists when so many other projects could have been made.

The Last Thing He Wanted (2020)

Spoils the story entirely

[4/10 · 22 February 2020]

Why does an unexperienced director get handed one of the classic novels of our time and get permission to add characters and hack it up? The way this story is told, it needed handling properly. Anne Hathaway and Toby Jones are the saving graces, Hathaway dressed in Didion-perfect outfits each scene - but Elena is not Didion in the book! Didion is more like the Rosie Perez character, the narrator! So it's a mess, leaving out the reasons for why she has to wait in the town, why she has to do the run for her dad, and instead of using all the reasons in the book, the director has the gall to make up her own flimsy excuses! What a wasted opportunity. I don't know how we're supposed to believe the bloated Weinstein-esque Ben Affleck would get to sleep with Anne Hathaway. What are all these Good Old Boy government scenes? Was it too hard to tell a story from the woman's POV? And they changed the ending! Arghhhhh! Joan Didion must be so cross. If you didn't like the book's story, don't make it into a film!

Jessica Forever (2018)

More than a surface story

[7/10 · 16 February 2020]

I'm not quite sure why everyone is marking this movie so low. It's a fascinating look at masculinity for young men growing up in a violent, shoot-em-up world that is near-reality. The scene where they dance together is full of young boy angst, bubbling under the skin. Sure, it's slow-paced and grows, but the idea that a female presence can calm their anger in a way they have never known is interesting and explored well. I'm not keen on the ending, which seems to then go against what Jessica has in mind all along, but the idea that an unsaid terrible world event lurks in their past and is never named is very clever and maybe just a little too low key for the masses to grasp, but why are there drones, why is nobody about, why are huge houses empty? This is never addressed, which is part of the unique feel to the film. More movies like this are needed. It's not just beautiful, but the fact it is is only a tribute to the filmmakers.

Marriage Story (2019)

Not at all charming or about a marriage

[4/10 · 9 December 2019]

This is a very dull story of two people who split up for very tenuous reasons and then we have to go through the divorce procedural with lawyers. The spoiled immature brat thinking of only herself and not one second considering her delicate son forces her husband, a richly intelligent and creative man, first out of their bed and then out of her life. I felt no compassion for Scarlett Johansson's character, and spent the whole time wondering why this script was so dull and humorless. I realized then it was because it was written too shallow and didn't explore any nuance whatsover. I don't know how it's being touted so hard, maybe because it's one of three or four non-superhero movies for the Oscars, but it's not really written into enough to be a classic. Watch Kramer vs Kramer for this film done well. This is not it.

Zeroville (2019)

A brave try with some success

[7/10 · 1 December 2019]

The score on here is very unfair. This is a literary story told competently and at times with some great ideas. Loved the meta editing on editing, the fake Lucas and Spielberg meets Coppola scene, love all the nods to film in both style and reference. Maybe the idiots who say this makes no sense need to watch Lost Highway and Suspiria (the original) at least before criticizing this film. I liked it a whole lot more than The Irishman, if that's any help. Megan Fox really needs more work like this. She's pretty great in this.

A Rainy Day in New York (2019)

A bit silly but who cares

[6/10 · 25 November 2019]

It's true that Woody Allen is writing silly dialogue that's completely old-fashioned and way above the heads of any youngster in New York, and it's true that the story here is completely silly and motivations are way off. But it's somehow a charming way to spend a couple of hours. Elle Fanning is kooky and does her best to be a chip off the old Diane Keaton block. Timothee Chalamet is dreamy and solid but doesn't get enough clout. I'm not fond of the huddle of middle-aged film lotharios jumping all over Fanning, and I don't think Selena Gomez had enough sharp lines. However, it's another study from Allen of New York as a live character taking over the people in it and sweeping them along. Cherry Jones is extremely well-cast as the mother with a secret and Allen saves the best till last. I probably won't watch it again for a long time, not one of his best but not the worst either. It's a shame that Netflix have done what they did to Allen. Not just for him, but the hundreds of names that rolled past in the credits of all the cast and crew who worked so hard on this movie to have it junked in the US, who did nothing to deserve this. Thank god I live in Europe where art is respected, and we have the intelligence to separate the work from the artist. I look forward to the next one to come out.

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Dull doll

[4/10 · 9 October 2019]

The plot arc of this film loses everything the minute the Warrens leave the movie -- five minutes in. The predictable tropes of bad horror begin with the requisite school bully at the lockers scene and then the dopey teen love interest scene. Two incredibly dull, disobedient, and arrogant girls babysit the Warren's daughter, left holding the full set of keys to the relics room. Really? Really??

So now it's time to sit through scene after scene of almost-jump scares in a film where nobody shares information, nobody switches on a light, and everyone has amnesia from scene to scene, with scenes ending abruptly with no building arc. It seems that everyone just wants to get these sequels done and out the way as everyone from the director to the actors dial it in. I honestly hoped they'd all die horribly by the end because they were psychotic.

You can see everything coming, nothing is frightening, and the Warrens are hardly in it.

Poor.

The Wolf Hour (2019)

Nothing, over and over

[2/10 · 23 September 2019]

It seems the creator of this movie wrote in a scene in the bath so he could tell funders he had a nude Naomi Watts and they gave him the cash. There seems no other way this script would have made it to production. It's barely a draft.