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Reviews
The Lost Future (2010)
I was sad when Boromir was killed by orcs
Actually I was surprised that Legolas wasn't in this, he shows up in every Hobbit movie. At least Peter Jackson wasn't involved or this would have been 8 hours long. The acting is great for a SyFy movie. Just too many clichés to give it more than five out of ten. The animal fur clothes but perfect teeth and skin, the slo mo dying father, village elders who won't listen to new ideas, and lots of Orcs.
The Anniversary (2012)
Sheer something, definitely not horror
I love the fake reviews that can't say one specific thing about the movie. I found that if you mute any scene with all five college-ish girls the movie is watchable. Their dialogue is unbelievably forced, especially when they 'laugh' at each others' jokes. Lines like 'I begged my vibrator to take me back' or 'let's hit the trail like horsesh*t'. The 'actress' character and the wise cracking but completely unfunny lesbian character look like they're in their 40's.
Treasure of the Amazon (1985)
Treasure of the Amazon + Rifftrax = 10 stars
If you want a summary of the movie, read the other reviews; they do an excellent job discussing the fun, the gore, the cheesy-ness and the plot points. I enjoyed their posts. I'm here to talk about the Rifftrax version of this movie; if you love this type/genre of movies (i.e. 'bad' movies) then the Rifftrax versions add an order or two of magnitude of additional laughs. And they don't disappoint here. On it's own the movie is worth watching for the fun, the Rifftrax crew makes it priceless. However, virtually any movie with Donald Pleasance is going to be a laugh fest, the only problem here is that he doesn't get to shout 'Michael Myers is here!' at any point. So, if you like bad movies, this will make you afraid to go into fictitious countries ever again. However, I'd go download the Rifftrax version if you really want to enjoy.
The Hunters (2013)
Really?
All I can say is after commercials I had to watch the thrilling scene of the two young beautiful people trying on tuxedos and evening gowns. Not since Predator have I been so tense. PS. Should not be called The Hunters, but rather The Hikers as they spend most of their time doing that. Blond chick is hot, that's about it. Even Asylum could do this better. Let's see, a few more lines are required about this blockbuster, I would suggest not actually watching it or they might make a sequel called The Hunters II, The Quickening. Then it will equal the worst sequel of all time (you figure that one out). The hiking scenes do have some awesome hiking though, the director certainly watched Peter Jackson's extended 15 hour LOTR to see how the master of hiking movies does it.