melweisbaum Reviews

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

Tons of Fun!

[9/10 · 23 March 2014]

Resident Evil: Extinction continues a great series of Resident Evil films and I still can not believe how much I am enjoying this movie franchise that on the surface I would have assumed I would just hate like most films of this type. It just goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.

The third movie takes place in the Nevada desert, for most of the movie anyway. Alice and a few other survivors are driving around the continent just scrounging for fuel, water and food, basically they are just trying to survive. Milla Jovovich is amazing in this movie with some of the best stunts of the series, she is just a rampaging force going up against the entire zombie army. Well maybe not zombies but whatever you want to call them.

This movie is scarier than the other RE movies and there is a lot more blood and gore.

Anyway this is a hugely entertaining action/sci-fi/thriller/horror movie, however you want to categorize it.

Maximum Overdrive (1986)

Maximum Fun

[8/10 · 13 January 2014]

This movie was really stupid. I won't lie. It is incredibly dumb. It is about a mysterious meteorite or asteroid (I'm actually not 100% sure which or how) that passed close to earth and then somehow infects or takes over every electrical appliance and machine on the planet.

Suddenly, blenders and toasters start attacking people. Pop machines start shooting cans out of their slots like machine guns, mowing people down. Worst of all, all the world's cars and trucks start circling human survivors like sharks, just waiting for their chance to attack and finish them off.

Sound stupid enough? The thing is, sometimes the stupidest movies are the most fun, and this movie is definitely fun. The pop machine scene I was describing made everyone in the room laugh so hard that we had to stop the movie and back it up. And when this kind of ridiculousness is intentional (in this case I am certain that it is) it deserves some credit.

Emilio Estevez stars, it's one of the campiest and most fun things Steven King has ever written, and the soundtrack by AC/DC featuring "Who Made Who" is awesome. Well, as long as you like AC/DC, which we certainly did.

Check it out if you like horror comedy. It's a lot of fun with some cool and hilarious deaths.

Arachnoquake (2012 TV Movie)

What Did You Expect?

[3/10 · 13 January 2014]

This is a horrible movie but it can be horribly fun if you watch it with friends, and you just make jokes and laugh about how stupid the movie is, which I'm pretty sure is exactly what the intention of the film's producers was.

Basically this movie is about a huge earthquake which somehow opens up a sinkhole in the earth but it also simultaneously somehow awakens a colony of ancient and incredibly dangerous, deadly poisonous and aggressive spiders.

That really sums it up. The story doesn't really have any surprises and all the shocks and scares you will see coming a mile away. But there are a lot of fun moments and so bad they're funny death scenes. Pretty much every possible way you could picture spiders killing someone is covered in this movie.

Stupid, mindless fun.

The Warriors (1979)

Should be Remade

[7/10 · 13 January 2014]

The Warriors was a decent violence exploitation movie from the mid to late seventies. Basically it is about a gang called The Warriors in New York City, where Cyrus, the leader of the city's top gang and a very charismatic leader, has called a meeting of all of the gangs to discuss a truce and carving up the city peacefully among themselves.

Each gang agrees to attend by sending nine members per gang, and all of them agree to not carry any weapons.

During his speech, Cyrus is killed and The Warriors are blamed for his murder. They narrowly escape but then are faced with the difficult task of somehow sneaking through all of the rival gangs, who want them dead, as well as the New York City Police.

It's got some pretty good tense scenes as well as some nice action and fight scenes. The acting is also marginally better than you would expect of a film of this type even though nobody really famous is in this movie.

Worth seeing and I wouldn't be surprised if this idea was remade sometime soon.

Batman (1989)

Almost Perfect Superhero Movie

[9/10 · 13 January 2014]

Tim Burton's version of Batman is an almost perfect superhero movie. It really depends on the type of feel you prefer for one of these superhero movies. If you're like me you prefer the traditional more lighthearted comic book feel with some dark humour and comic relief, as in this version of Batman. Not to say that Chris Columbus's darker and heavier version isn't also amazing, it's just a much different feel. I don't really want to debate the two versions of Batman because I love them both, so I will just talk about this version here.

Jack Nicholson is fantastic as The Joker. He made millions and millions of dollars by insisting on a profit share for this movie which of course went on to be a massive hit, and he deserves it. He manages to pull off being both menacing and also funny, and even sympathetic. Jack Palance is also great as his boss.

Michael Keaton is still my favourite Batman, though not my favourite Bruce Wayne necessarily.

The comic book style action, snappy dialog and great performances (for this kind of a feel they are going for) all make this a fantastic movie that still holds up.

You can't compare it to the newer Batman trilogy, because they are deliberately very different in how they feel and what they present. Love them both!

According to Jim (2001–2009)

Total Garbage

[1/10 · 13 January 2014]

According to Jim is one of the worst television sitcoms of all time. Actually that doesn't quite go far enough, According to Jim is one of the worst things ever televised period. I have no idea and even if someone from ABC sat me down and walked me through their entire decision making process I'll never understand how a show this bad could possibly be put on television.

Jim Belushi is someone I have thought was OK in movies before but he is so completely dreadfully mind numbingly insanely awful in this I couldn't stand watching him for one more torturous second. He plays such an over the top buffoon and seriously we're supposed to believe he married a babe? The writing is pathetic. Week after week the exact same situation plays out. Jim isn't supposed to do something, but he does it anyway, then he and his even more pathetic neighbour friend try to hide that he did it from his wife, then she finds out, then for some reason she forgives him instead of beating his damn head in with a frying pan.

It defies logic that anyone can watch this dog's breakfast of a TV show and actually call it any kind of entertainment. This show is evidence of how far western civilization has fallen, that we are dumbed down so much that this show was actually getting enough viewers to come back for eight years and was called a hit! According to Jim was total garbage.

We used to have John Belushi and now we're stuck with Jim. People shouldn't be OK with that.

Canadian Bacon (1995)

Good Movie, I Liked It

[7/10 · 13 January 2014]

Canadian Bacon is a good movie. I was surprised to see in the credits that it was actually directed by Michael Moore, on closer inspection it is the same Michael Moore who went on to direct such documentaries as Roger & Me and Bowling for Columbine, even winning an Oscar for his work.

The main reason I found that surprising is that it is definitely unusual for an American director to make a movie set in Canada (not just shot in Canada with Toronto or Vancouver doubling for New York City or Seattle) and on top of that the movie is largely about Canada.

The plot of this film centers around the U.S. president, played by Alan Alda who I always like, needed to get the country to unite behind him by finding a common enemy, and of course he ends up choosing Canada to be that enemy. Americans along the border are whipped up into a frenzy, and John Candy (one of Canada's best comics of all time) and some of his friends end up volunteering as border patrol in Buffalo, and then they "invade" Canada.

The movie starts off amazing and the premise is great but it goes off the wheels a bit once they go behind enemy lines. The depiction of mounties and some ridiculousness taking place at the C.N. Tower are about what you would expect of how an American movie would depict Canada, but for the most part the jokes are all in good fun and the kind of thing that Canadians like me would laugh at.

Overall a very enjoyable movie. Not Candy's best role but definitely worth watching and enjoying, with a lot of recognizable actors doing some funny work.

Jack Frost (1997 Video)

Predictably Stupid

[2/10 · 13 January 2014]

This movie is what it is, a really stupid Christmas themed or at least winter themed horror movie. There is a lot of comedy in the movie to try to mask the fact that it is just not a good horror movie but it doesn't really work. What you end up with is what you get on the screen, a bad horror movie.

The basic story is about a serial killing maniac who is on his way to be executed but there is a horrible car crash and he ends up getting mutated in the snow, then becomes a mutant snow man creature who starts killing people.

Do I really need to say more? There are a bunch of cheesy death scenes, a girl in a shower, the stupid running away and hiding moments. It's the same as any low budget slasher movie except the killer in this case is a snowman and you get all the requisite snow man jokes and puns.

Really bad movie that should have at least been funny, but it's just stupid.

Green Lantern (2011)

Underrated Superhero Film

[8/10 · 13 January 2014]

This movie is predictable and a lot of it is pretty hammy but isn't that exactly what you should expect from watching any superhero movie? Superman, Batman, Spiderman... all of these movies are very predictable. We know what's going to happen. What matter is, will it get us there in an entertaining way? This is not the best superhero movie out there but it has a lot going for it. For one thing, Ryan Reynolds is a great star for this kind of a role. He is likable and he is very funny, and you actually believe he's the kind of guy who would care. Also, Stellan Skarsgaard is an amazing actor and he steals every scene he is in. I hope there is a sequel just so we can see more of him! Also, the effects are amazing and much better than I would have expected from this movie.

On the down side, The Green Lantern is definitely one of the "poor boy" superheros, not as well liked as the other superheroes and there is good reason for that. But if you're a fan and don't mind the further out there, more campy superheroes, this movie is definitely worth watching, with some fantastic effects and a couple of great, fun performances! The final fight is also excellent.

Snow 2: Brain Freeze (2008 TV Movie)

Snow 2's What You'd Expect

[7/10 · 12 January 2014]

Snow 2 was actually fairly decent in terms of comparing it to the hundreds of other quickly churned out, cheap Christmas movies that come out every year. The acting is actually pretty good with the lead giving a good performance with what he has to work with. It's the kind of comedy you would expect in a family Christmas movie but if that's your thing you will not be disappointed at all. I tend to dislike most Christmas movies that pull the heart strings and have kid level jokes but didn't mind this movie at all. It's a fine way to waste time with the family over the holidays. I wasn't even annoyed by the child actor which usually is a given for me. Good job!

Darren Frost: Emotional Terrorism (2013 Video)

I Like Dark Comedy, I Hate This

[3/10 · 12 January 2014]

What I don't like about dark comedy is that many times the comic doing it does the dark part but completely forgets to bring the funny. This is one of those times.

Actually usually these comics don't even do the dark part right and instead rely on filthy sex jokes which aren't dark or funny either. So at least Darren Frost does do dark so he deserves some ups for that. He is obviously not afraid to talk about any topic or even himself without any filter which I respect a lot.

Unfortunately like I said he forgets to be funny and also is not very original with the material as far as his comedy goes. If you go to any bar any night you will find some drunk guy spinning the same lines about how some kids deserve to be aborted, getting cheap laughs from his drinking buddies every time he drops an F bomb, and when you don't laugh he will get angry and say he hopes you get AIDS because it's your fault you don't find it funny because you're stupid or something.

That's my main problem with his and other bad dark comics comedy, is that if or I should say when his audience does not find him funny he looks down on us as if it's our fault. How is it our fault that you're not funny? The entire dark comedy thing is used by too many comics to mask the fact that they just aren't funny or don't bother to try to be funny.

Again I have no problem with the dark material. I love dark comics when they're good and have an extensive collection and also go out of my way to see them live when they come to Ottawa or Toronto. Doug Stanhope is one of my favourites and he is probably the darkest comic there is. Bill Hicks RIP is maybe the best of all time. Gilbert Gotfried, Jason Rouse and Lisa Lampanelli are awesome. Louis C.K. can be dark and he's the best comic today. The thing is those comics are dark but also funny. Very very funny. Darren Frost just isn't for whatever reason.

When we saw his live show we weren't impressed but didn't hate it. We and about a quarter of the people laughed when he kept calling the group in the front f***-faces and also at some of the subject matter because the topics are taboo and for whatever reason you laugh when you hear about them in a public setting in front of friends. But none of what he did was really funny, we were just laughing at someone being called a f***-face and a guy yelling at them about murder and abortion. The funniest thing about Darren Frost is his stage appearance and personality because he screams and swears at people but he looks like a Corky kid.

Our table of four bought two DVDS and I'm assuming this is the one because only one is on IMDb and I think and hope he couldn't have any more than that given how bad his jokes are. It doesn't even seem right to call them jokes when they are more just hate filled ideas with no punch lines or comedy added. I remember we got a discount buying two DVDS. What the f*** was I thinking? The DVD is self produced which is not a surprise since there's almost nothing funny on it. Of course he would probably say it is self produced because he's too dark. No you're not too dark, you're just not funny.

If anyone out there wants this DVD send me a PM.

You can see a lot of great comics at Yuk Yuks but I don't recommend this guy unless you're a huge fan of very dark comedy and want to see what he is like. Just don't be surprised if you get lots of dark but no comedy.

Silent But Deadly (2011)

Terrible Movie

[1/10 · 12 January 2014]

I saw Silent but Deadly for free on my video on demand satellite and I wish I could get those 90 minutes back. The movie was just terrible. The CGI is horrible and not even unintentionally funny, it's just really bad.

It uses all the cheap comedy clichés of casting a topless bimbo and even a little person. Didn't casting little people for a cheap laugh go out of style in the eighties or something? I remember when Bizarre used to use little people for cheap gags all the time and even then it was wrong. I can just see the writers/directors/producers of Silent but Deadly saying "Hey you know what would be hilarious? If the sheriff was a midget! That's funny right? Because they're shorter than us?" Everyone in this movie should be ashamed. The thing is you know the actors weren't even paid well because this movie was obviously made for like a few thousand dollars. Pat McKenna is the only recognizable person in this other than Jason "Jay and Silent Bob" Mewes and I have no idea why he is stooping this low when he has been in real movies and TV shows.

Jason Mewes I am not surprised to see in anything but I'm still very surprised this is the biggest pay check his agent could scrape up for him. I have never been a fan of his work or his comedy but at least he is in some big budget stuff. I have to say he is the only character in this movie I didn't hate, maybe because he doesn't really talk. He is much less annoying than he is in Kevin Smith's movies.

The rest of the cast is terrible, especially the jerky cameraman who can't act at all, and the bimbo I already mentioned who can't even deliver her lines or die properly. The CGI in that scene alone is so horrible I am convinced they had students do it for free. Avoid this movie at all costs, it is not funny and you won't even laugh at how bad it is, it is too pathetic even for that.

Punched Up (2006– )

Not Good TV

[3/10 · 12 January 2014]

Although I don't understand the huge level of hate for this show, and it was far from "the worst show ever made", it was not a good TV show at all. I think a fair rating would be about 3/10. At least they were trying to do something different. The show was not funny and a lot of what they were trying to do was just stupid, also I found most of the cast to be incredibly annoying. I'm not sure why or how this was put on TV but it didn't work and is obviously not missed.

I have to say again I don't see why there is so much pure hatred for this show out there. Some of the comments though they are funny are pretty over the top on the hate scale! I have seen much worse shows in the world and even just in Canada, actually just on the Comedy Network there have been many, many worse shows (they are kind of famous for their awful shows), so why single this one out? It was not a very big show and is not even really remembered, if I had not seen it in an "also recommended" box on IMDb here I would never have thought to look for it! Anyone know how many seasons it lasted? Examples of worse shows: Keys to the V.I.P. and Popcultured (which may have been the worst TV show Comedy Network ever made)

The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

Underrated Disney Classic

[10/10 · 12 January 2014]

The Great Mouse Detective (1986) is one of the greatest Disney movies of all time and definitely their most underrated film in my opinion. The movie features the wonderful voice talents of Vincent Price as a great Disney villain, Professor Rattigan, basically the Moriarty character opposing the movie's "Sherlock" hero character, the titular The Great Mouse Detective, Basil of Baker Street (living under the floor of Sherlock Holmes).

I don't want to give away the plot but the reason I love this movie so much is that there is a lot of great comedy in it, the hero and villain are both fantastic (and both have very entertaining cohorts), and the story is great.

I love that this film is a little bit "darker" than most Disney films. Again, I don't want to give anything away, but the stakes in this movie are much higher and more "real" than most Disney films.

The songs are even great and I still find myself humming a couple of them. The Rattigan song is amazing, and Vincent Price himself sings a wonderful "goodbye" song that plays on a record while he has Basil trapped.

A truly great Disney movie that deserves much more praise!

Newhart (1982–1990)

Classic Comedy Series

[10/10 · 12 January 2014]

This is one of the all time greatest comedy series on U.S. television. I would put it right up there against the world's greatest comedy series (Fawlty Towers, Arrested Development, Monty Python, Kids in the Hall, Community) in terms of laughs per minute ratio.

The always hilarious Bob Newhart plays the owner of an inn in Vermont (along with his lovely wife) and he is the straight man in this, always trying to keep up with the craziness around him and making hilarious, straight-faced comments about it. His bumbling, stumbling delivery is so funny and only Bob Newhart could pull this character off believably.

The cast around them includes a rich girl who doesn't really want to be their maid, her uptight, materialistic beau, their hilarious handyman George, and of course their insane backwoods neighbours "Larry, Darryl and Darryl".

I would love to get this on DVD!