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Naked Fear (2007)
Only for Diana...
This is a horrific movie. Worthless of anyone's time who has a brain, common-sense, and ANY survival/tactical training.
"Diana" is thee worst movie heroine EVER. Gorgeous! I agree! But: worthless: totally.
ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE SHE SURVIVES THIS encounter. With the PSYCHO WE'D ALL DISECT....
1. She runs off to New Mexico thinking she'll promote to a vegas stripper star...
2. She is NAKED in the woods SCREAMING for help! As the Psycho pursues.
3. Amazingly! She survives to hatch a plan to chuck a rock at Pyscho! Yet: fails to end him.
4. Which leads to the murders of the triplet idiot crew.
5. Runs off to be hooker-vigilante.
This best not spawn ANY sequels.
I demand my two hours back!
Plus popcorn!
Road House (2024)
Horrific!
THIS is NOT a remake of Roadhouse. It is somebody's tweaked "vision" of a remake.
It has NONE of the fun (not to mention any type of sex and t-and-a).
This one is pure anger.
WE were excited to see Jake and Conor, but were SERIOUSLY disappointed. They failed.
As did EVERYONE involved in this garbage.
The ONLY saving grace is Jake, Conor, and Key West.
The Swayze is rolling-over in his grave. For the second time (after they tried to remake Point Break).
I may watch this garbage from time to time (without friends around of course)
But, I will stick to the originals! Roadhouse and Point Break with the Swayze.
The Vanishing (2018)
Barely watchable
A very good cast is wasted on this barely watchable story. Three stars is probably only for the cinematography.
Movies like this always remind me of the worst movie ever made: Bear Island. This one is close to the 100th crappy sequel to that garbage. Apparently, Alistair Maclean wrote this book as a serious who-done-it set on a remote island. I'm a fan of his books (and most movies), but I've never read this one. My parents took me to see the movie and, even as a child, I could see straight through the atrocious plot. There were so many twists and turns, I wished to be transported to my worst nightmare of an actual rollercoaster. Now, Bear Island is my code for garbage movies.
This piece of .... rips-off the screenplay from "A Simple Plan" and every movie that used it's same worn-out routine of pitting the characters against each other for greed.
Gerard Butler is good in it, until it "jumps to Bear Island" when they meet the last character. Then, it just should've drowned itself.
Halloween Ends (2022)
barely watchable
The original Halloween followed a great plot revolving around the high school kids at Haloween time.
It had classic scares around Halloween, along with long shots of Michael hysteria.
The ending is classic!
Then, the sequel Halloween 2 picks-up right where the first ended.
And, extended Halloween night and it's horrors and cheap scares.
THIS should've been the end.
Halloween Ends has NOTHING to do with the original movies, and may as well been titled Halloween 19.
It is a blemish on the original two movies, and should be discarded as such.
This "movie" has NONE of the originals feels of Fall, Halloween, and the Michael Myers story.
WE hope it's their last attempt at reviving this series, which only lives in the first two movies..
Betta Fish (2020)
Zeros
Danny's Game tries to be a talkie like one of Kevin Smith's movies, but fails grandly.
I was playing online poker and trying to tolerate this garbage, when we got to the final table.
Here, uber-idiotic psychotic character Alex decides to bring Danny's brother to the table. Duct-taped as a threat. Like the threats she/it has made throughout this garbage "movie."
It's at this point that I turned the poop off, launched this scathing review, and started watching "Rounders." Again.
Save yourselves! Never watch this toilet-water fraud.
This movie helped set-back poker in America singlehandedly...
Werewolf Castle (2021)
Terribly unwatchable
DO NOT waste your time watching this. The "heroes" are scumbags, and the ACTUAL hero is wasted. And, a complete fabrication of the hero lie.
This "movie" could've been so great. But, it starts with our "hero" hiding while his village gets sacked by werewolves.
Incredibly, he finds its backbone to show the worthless band of "knights" where the werewolves live.
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I want my time back. Disgusting movie-making.
Amsterdam (2022)
An adventure of irony
Just finished watching a rather excellent in-theater copy of Amsterdam... It is almost impressive to a rating of 9, but I'll need a few more views. A great movie, that reminded me of the Three Stooges meet Inglorious Basterds. In a good way.
Of course, if you care to study actual history, you also know that the full irony of this picture is casting Bob DeNiro in this role as savior/speaker against the new corrupt world order. Should sound familiar, as he is the actual defender of our current administration of corruption. I laughed out loud at the pure despicable hypocrisy of his role.
Politics aside, this is a very entertaining who-done-it with pre-Nazi implications. The race-relations that led to Bale's character leading the all-Black Regiment from New York are a serious stretch at the time. Black Soldiers suffered racism and worse through WW2 (and, on rare occasion still today). But, I loved this three-way love story with these rich characters.
This film probably should've been stretched into a mini-series at least, to give more depth and time for our characters to come together as the Amsterdam team/
Blair Witch (2016)
A few improvements
I had avoided this 2nd sequel, because I had grand visions for the first sequel and was very disappointed.
I had hoped Blair Witch 2 would incorporate some better visuals, and really hoped to get some opening shots of witches dragging the original victims up into the trees. Or, anything. I remember the kids made an appearance, but that was a let-down too.
After years of avoidance, I broke-down and watched the trailer. It sold me, and I just finished watching it on a black-ops service.
Blair Witch is certainly a watchable movie, even with it's handful of stupid scares and other typical genre laughs (mostly unscripted I'm sure). I was impressed when they made one character an EMT or Paramedic and thought: Wow! A horror movie with a character trained in survival skills! Which led me to hope he had other survival skills like mountaineering, hiking, combat, etc. Unfortunately, he proves to be less than competent in BLS. Oh well...
The redeeming parts of this movie occur in the second half. It follows almost the exact path of the original (witches have their check-lists too), but threw a few new twists that I was excited to see (and thought they might get to in the first sequel, but didn't).
Viewing the original in a packed theater on opening weekend, cannot be replicated. But, I still believe it is a ground-breaking horror movie which must be seen by horror fans.
Blair Witch is a good sequel, that is worth watching. I would love to see a trained rescue-squad take-on the woods in another sequel.
Gemini Man (2019)
Unwatchable
What could've been a passable action movie, is derailed by this annoying voiceover.
It's a great idea for a movie, but the voiceover idea should NEVER be used again.
How did it end? Don't care; couldn't stand THE VOICEOVER.
Trauma Center (2019)
Barely watchable
Bruce Willis made his first garbage Cop movie. And, dragged Tito and Becky down with it.
This is Dumb Hard in the Hospital. Written by a grade-schooler, or some anti-Police idiot with zero understanding of actual Policing. Except: 99% of Cops are bad of course.
Laughable
Range 15 (2016)
Range 15 for the win!
First of all; to everyone who wasted their time to write a negative review: Get a life and TF outta here. No one cares. Except me; I was the one down-voting your garbage review. You are either a snowflake who thinks everything should be given and not earned, or a wanna-be antics clown..
That said, Range 15 is not a movie made to achieve critical-acclaim. It is a GREAT movie made by VETS, Funded by VETS, and for VETS. It is low-budget, but the message is clear about the brotherhood of the military. If the snowflakes who spew hate on the picture actually gave a damn, they'd know that there's quite a few heroic and famous VETS in the movie. I'd like to thank them (and Gene, of course) for their service in securing our American Freedoms!
Range 15 is a seriously demented, sick and twisted, zombie-comedy. The jokes are written for insiders to understand, such as active-duty, retired, and their friends and family who put-up with this sick brand of humor that helps us get through. It's a combination of Zombieland, Shawn of the Dead, Platoon, and Animal House. The team wakes-up to the zombie apocalypse, and must get the cure into the hands of scientists to solve it.
Range 15 is my go-to movie, and I've infected quite a few friends (while sickening the weaker of our species). If you're a fan of gory zombie movies and appreciate military/police/fire/first-responder dark humor, you will probably love this flick!
If not, do us a favor and don't bother posting negative comments. We don't give AF; just leave. 'Merica!
Aftermath (2017)
watchable until the end
Aftermath is just another Hollywood fantasy in the end.
It starts out very well, And Arnold is very credible playing the lost widower who's wife and daughter perish in a plane crash.
But, it's apparent quickly that Hollywood has continued to sell its soul.
Instead of focusing his grief and torment on the executives who want to buy his silence for their own failures (thrusting one air-traffic controller into the fire to try and control the entire control room), they decided to make an ironic simple revenge movie.
I would love to know if the writers reached-out to surviving family members, to gain insight into their living hell?! I already know that this "reporter" is probably an anchor at fake news after thinking it was a good idea to give Arnold the name and address of the controller who's also living in daily hell, so he could exact his revenge.
All in all, it is a movie that will make you think about the value of life around you, but they misplayed their hand badly.
I've now watched it for my second and final time, and came away even more disappointed than the first viewing.
I'd love to hear other comments.
Be well.
Welcome Home (2018)
Barely watchable
Yet another victim/movie where you'll never get that time back in your life... It's Hostel meets any free-cams site, where the final joke is apparently on everyone who was watching the action live, yet aren't human enough to feel anything or even report the crimes they've just witnessed. It's one of those movies I'll suffer through, because I like one of the actors, and love to guess the next stupid "twist." This one wins, because I figured it would be twins as psycho-killers, instead of dad allowing junior to enjoy a house of horrors.
It immediately lost me when we learn that the two lovers have decided to take a European vacation, AFTER she's cheated on him! The next red flag, is how our bad guy keeps showing-up everywhere they go while obviously trying to drive a wedge. My favorite part is the end, when the girlfriend turns-out to be the masculine one to end the problem. Then, they decide to cover-up the incident believing they'd never get a fair shake as Americans.
I would barely recommend to super-fans of the actors...
Deterrence (1999)
Pretty atrocious
Aside from the acting, this is a laughable movie on just about every level.
The President (un-elected) overrides every fail-safe, in spite of being advised otherwise including the legality of taking such action, to drop an atomic bomb on Iraq.
The President finds himself in a diner, trying to negotiate with the Iraqi leaders while using an interpreter who hasn't been properly trained or vetted. He takes time to ask the opinions of people in the diner as time runs-out.
At one point, the cook in the diner pulls-out his shotgun (which wasn't discovered by the weapons- search conducted by the Presidents' Secret Service detail of two) and shoots the Airman carrying the "football," injuring him. As he continues to point it at the wounded Airman, the two Secret Service agents allow him to fire a second round before ending his threat (with a now-empty double-barrel shotgun).
The ending is just dumbfounding... Apparently the President, along with the French President, are the only two who KNOW that the weapons they sold to Iraq are dummies and won't arm. This is played-out as a great winning scheme by the President, as he nukes Iraq while watching their dummies fall fairly harmlessly in neighboring countries.
I think this could've been a very good movie, had it been based more on fact than just the silly twist at the end. The bottom-line is that the President NEVER needed to drop a nuke on Iraq; he KNEW they were mostly defenseless. The world would probably stand behind a President who called their bluff. Then, they could easily be dealt with conventionally.
The Salvation (2014)
Wasted effort...
I'm barely a 1/2 hour into this "movie," and am about ready to turn it off. It's a typical revenge movie, set in the west. But, it seriously lacks credibility.
Our "hero" carries a gun, and actually gets the drop on the two scumbags who are about to rape (and probably kill) his wife. If he's carrying a gun, and this good at turning the tables on thugs like these, why didn't he shoot them right there? After not ending the two thugs, they probably would've put bullets into him before chucking him out of the stage.
Next, the "brother" of the lead rapist and leader of the thug-gang in the territory arrives in town. His demand is justice- The Sheriff either bring the "suspect" who killed his brother and co-thug to justice, or he will kill 2 people from town. I was laughing as the Mayor and Sheriff marched two people over to the lead-thug. But, I laughed harder when he shot another random townie.
Maybe they got the stupid out of their system; I'mm gonna force-feed the rest of this "award- nominated" movie (of course, the nominations were for set design, costumes, and score... certainly not for writing).