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Reacher (2022)
Weak second season hampered by thick Canadian accents
While I immensely enjoyed Reacher season one, season two was painful to watch. Serinda Swan, a new addition to the show seems to be unable to shake her "Ok, eh hoser?" Canadian accent. If you are going to use primarily Canadian acting talent, but then cast them as "tough southern US FBI officers", you need to fire your casting director. I'm a big fan of the big man and hope he gets a shot at being DC's Batman, but seeing Reacher being driven into the ground through cheaping out on the cast I feel is a misstep. Had this season been set in Canada, then hearing all of the Canadiana would have made a lot more sense.
Constellation (2024)
Noomi Rapace and Jonathan Banks perfectly cast in this psychological mystery set in space
Very entertaining, with a base in science and space history.
Noomi Rapace and Jonathan Banks are mesmerizing and allowed to give solid performances. The direction also appears solid. The supporting cast is also top notch. There's not a lot to complain about with this series, so I'll nitpick. Unfortunately, the plot's entire mystery relies on collapsing wave function (stuff happens because you looked at it) applied to human decision and experiences, which does not happen in physics (unless you believe the self help books where you "vision it and it will happen to you"). Otherwise, I'm enjoying this well written, dialog strong drama.
The cast are all very convincing in their roles. This series is filmed in Finland and avoids this "cheap actor" syndrome found in most Sci-Fi of today. This could be because most Sci-Fi these days are filmed in Canada using Canadian "G'day eh? I'm a tough cop from Brooklin, you hoser" actors.
Well done.
Old Dads (2023)
Bill Burr's weak male characters that he crafted for you to hate.
Bill Burr makes a bold statement in this flick. He exposes the audience to the type of men we see every day, weak crybaby losers. These men fail to see their own weak characters, yet constantly seem irritated over nonsensical issues. Others being successful they see as an attack against them personally. In Burr's loosely crafted story we meet three men who are emotionally crippled. The entire movie appears to me to be from the point of view of the wives who must tolerate overly dramatic exaggerations from their professional victim male partners. The scenes we witness don't seem to be the reality facing the men, but instead are the exaggerated, envious, sympathy demanding fictions, as told to the women by their cry baby men, all perfectly visualized for us by a stellar cast.
Should we dislike these old dads? Absolutely. As a gen-x male, seeing these professional victims cry to their wives about every single thing they see, I was reminded of how in real life we encounter these hate culture failures every day. Burr's old men are a reflection of what is wrong with society, and of how some men have lost their ability to be men, and become king "Karens" to everyone around them, dragging everyone down while blaming society because they saw a guy wearing a kilt, or a woman driving, or a female principle. Did I enjoy it? No, I thought the writing was atrocious, the jokes flat and Burr's acting is as bad as it gets. But, he does make a point, that cry baby men like these often have wives that deserve medals, so I guess well done Bill?
Death and Other Details (2024)
Mandy Patinkin is brilliant, in this actress sexploitation sludge.
While I have a plethora of praise for Mandy Patinkin, there is one thing that I found lacking, that being his accent which I cannot place. Rather than letting my praise for Mandy Patinkin give more credit than deserved to this flick, I'll stop there. For some bizarre reason director and executive producer Marc Webb runs this project into the ground by exploiting actresses (I use this rather than actor on this occasion only to specify female actors) Lauren Patten and Pardis Saremi, having them do unnecessary, distracting, disjointed sex scenes in a project that pretends to be an Agatha Christie genre piece. Even if it was essential to the plot to see Lauren Patten nude, the extreme lack of chemistry and unbelievability of the scenes appear to be injected either to deliberately harm the careers of these actors, or because he simply isn't very good at what he does, "awards" aside. My guess is he has an axe to grind and is taking it out on his cast.
As for plot, there isn't much here. A locked room mystery that is forced, has lots of irrelevant interviews that are supposed to make the viewer believe that the main character is "brilliant", when in reality, the director instead chooses to over explain everything in hopes that the massive holes in the story will be hidden among all of the trashy, unnecessary and unwanted dialog. I give Mr. Patinkin a 9 for performance, the rest of the cast a 4, the writing a 5, and the directing a 2 for an overall score of 6, all riding on the coattails of Mandy Patinkin.
Gen V (2023)
You will hate yourself for wasting time on this.
I never thought that I would see the day where I would find nothing, absolutely nothing good about a production. Gen V takes characters with no likeability, and turns them into 4th wall breaking hate for the character. In fact, even though the acting is amazing, especially seeing someone try to discern reactions from the nearly unreadable dialog, is amazing in itself, I find it difficult not to unfairly hate the actors playing these rolls, for doing a good enough job that I think perhaps the show might improve. It does not improve. Don't know what to write during scenes that should contain age appropriate dialog? No problem, just jam a rediculous, unrealistic, grossly filmed sex scene just because. Trying to make sense of a no plotline plot and cant' do it? That's Gen V's "schtyle". It's not good. It's not even related to THE BOYS, other than by a few name drops. THE BOYS uses V as an explanation for super powers that follow the laws of nature, while Gen V is basically using "magic" to explain rediculous "powers". Other than one 30 second scene involving puppets, which I am sure you can find on youtube as a slight amusement, do not watch this complete and utter garbage. If you do, you will be angry at yourself.
The Continental (2023)
As I watch... this show is doomed.
I'm watching it now, and jotting a few thoughts. Winston is English, not a yank. Oops. Oh, a sudden 20 year time jump without explanation? Ok. I lived through the 1970s and they weren't like that. Shots of public sex and piles of cocaine huh? I'm supposed to think this is 'edgy'. This is stupid, Hey there is Mel Gibson! Lets give it a minute. A manhole cover in the roof of a subway tunnel huh? Nope. Uhhh, that's not how wall safes work. Uhhh, that's not how grapples work. Uhhh, that's not how ropes work. No, no, no that's not how train windshields work. Ok, that's not how physics works either. Who wrote this mess? Oh, so bullets can pass through the safe room celling into the dance hall floor? So the safe room is made of wood? No, that's not how dry fire extinguishers work. So, bullets can only hit people standing in a group? So bullets pass though conveniently placed trash piles, making little dust geysers? Who directed this mess? The backs of 1970's yellow cabs can withstand 400 rounds of automatic weapons fire? Good thing the glass in the rear window and tail lights can as well. Who produced this mess? Ok, I'm out. This is complete trash. Time wasted? Ten minutes, 58 seconds.
Blue Beetle (2023)
The weakest DC film in decades.
If James Gunn thinks this is a good film, then I think DC needs to go back to being an animation only studio.
All of the worst Marvel tropes are ripped out and sewn together in this wonderfully cast wreck of a film.
If DC plans on making this the standard formula for their various 'bring to live action' properties, then they should just hire a guy to come out during each scene change to tell the audience "Ok, this person you need to hate for the movie to work. Now feel sad. Now you should feel a romance between the only two characters. Now you should be rooting for the reluctant heroes who suddenly used alien technology like experts and just killed all of the $25 an hour hired security guards." etc.
There's a reason no one goes to see DC films anymore... and it's because we are tired of seeing Marvel do it better.
Do yourself a favor, and go watch Ahsoka instead.
Foundation (2021)
Series Two continues to be plagued by substandard writing.
While the show continues to be filmed beautifully, seeing seasoned, quality actors uttering near gibberish, stilted, insipid dialog leaves the viewer with a firm detachment from any story lines the writers envisioned they had the ability to deliver. In a tribute to self grandiosement, the mistakes of the previous series were not only embraced, any fan input that would have made the show more interesting and coherent has been deliberately rejected. In a contemptuous move by the writers, the show veers into what Isaac Asimov found objectionable in works of fiction. While I would like to list a few of these blunders, I find I don't care enough about this series success to suggest areas for improvement. Those who give this show a high rating, would probably consider plot and writing to be unnecessary, so Apple should save it's money and use an AI to finish the show off. I believe that no one would notice the difference.
The Bear (2022)
A guy has a failing restaurant. That's the entire plot.
I watched this due to the overwhelmingly positive reviews of this "comedy" only to find out after watching all of the first season and half of the second season that number one, it is not a comedy. Two, it is the most boring show I have wasted time watching since Marvels She-Hulk which is an arguably better show than this anti-entertainment production. It's a dry, witless slog that isn't creative, as you can go to almost any restaurant and see exactly the same thing occurring in real-time. Out of money? Sure. It gets busy and is hard to keep up? Yep. Building has issues? That is in there too. Do I care about any of it? No. What are the stakes? Well, the biggest plot point is that a guy is trying really hard to make a tasty donut. That 6 minutes of the series is pretty good. There is another 4 minutes of the handyman just trying to fix stuff which was fairly ok to watch. Other than that... nothing. There is literally no plot movement here, no story progression. It is a stale, crusty stain on the dining room floor of the FX lineup.
Secret Invasion: Promises (2023)
Bleak and dismal.
After watching the first episode, I had hoped that there would be some of that Marvel charm in this episode, after all, the cast is top notch. Instead, I discover that not only is Cobie Smulders out, she's out of the entire MCU. I can't say I enjoyed the weak exit written for her, nor her lack of screen time. Her exit doesn't make me want to see more, it makes me want to see less. The scenes between Don Cheadle and SLJ are an interesting, yet unbelievable move to 'raise the stakes' which falls flat and hard. I almost expected to hear someone utter "jive turkey" at some point, such was the oddly lacking conversational style between two 'brothers'. It should have been written as two powerful, competent, dedicated, fearsome men confronting each other, one for his inaction, one for his heavy-handed approach. Frankly I don't really care if anyone wins this boring invasion, and its manufactured "The Bear" daily no stakes drama. Win, lose, it's just a time filler that I have no desire to see completed.
Mrs. Davis (2023)
Don't be tricked. Not much AI, mostly apostate hate for all Catholics and Christians.
One thing DL has going for him is the ability to spin his very intense hatred of Christianity into a show a network will pay for. Very offensive "Prayer is so all nuns can have sex with Jesus" plotline. If you are Catholic, this show is aimed to offend. It depicts that nuns literally marry Jesus, then through prayer, have sex with him.
If you are not religious, then it's just incredibly stupid.
Either way, forget the few lines jammed in about an AI. The show could drop the AI bits and absolutely nothing would change, it would still be an anti-Christian slam piece from disgruntled hate filled writers.
A "and then THIS happens, and then THIS happens" no-plot show.
While filled with great imagery, wonderful actors and some decent sets, this mess is another "ideas on a dartboard" show. It meanders along, filled with dead ends and lame "impossibly timed" unconnected events. Remember South Park's
"the family guy writer's room" filled with "idea balls"? This is literally how this show is written. Hapenstance. For instance, here is a non-spoiler event that occurred: a main sequence escape hinged entirely on the villian who just happened to lean in close enough for handcuffs to magically get transferred to his wrists; detouring to jump a motorcycle through a prop doughnut that just happened to have a ramp, even though it didn't have any advantage in doing so; the hideout just happens to be on the other side of a train track; there just happens to be a train that just happens to cut off the bad guys. Yes, that was actually written and filmed. It's horrid. The writer should be ashamed of this hackjob. It's dumb, written by the dumb, for the dumb. Why the WGA isn't pulling some memberships over this, I have no idea.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
If a director wanted to make the holocaust into a music video
Depressing, dark, with lame humour sprinkled in with ill fitting music jammed in at random. I can't recognize anything "marvel" about this. The tone, weak writing and CGI jammed down your throat all seems more like an audition to work for DC and their low quality entertainment, rather than any serious attempt to grow the Guardian's franchise. Gunn could have, and should have shaved 60 minutes from this 2 hour grim mess. I've no interest in seeing any further Gunn projects, especially if he continues making animal snuff films under a Marvel banner. This isn't a family movie, it's for people who think torture can be entertaining. No thanks, Marvel.
The Ark (2023)
Stinks of producer interference
What at first looks to be a well thought out premise, with the show establishing centrifical gravity immediately gets disgarded for zero reason. Apparently normal gravity is everywhere on the ship. Everywhere. So, no reason to have spinning sections, no need for people to float away when those sections stop spinning... etc.
You can bet that was a producer's decision.
Even worse, when the ship travels around a "sun" that is the size of a large beach ball, the ship literally can be seen barely get smaller, cross behind, then come out of the other side with no scale change. Again, another producer "no one will notice" huge, huge, deliberate FU to the audience.
Great acting, solid performances from a cast working on a scifi channel budget. I'm guessing the actors were told "hey, go buy your own non-discript clothes for the show".
I'm betting that the show's creator wishes he'd never got involved with the production team. That being said, It's way better than Picard seasons 1 and 2.
The Artifice Girl (2022)
An almost perfect motion picture.
Intelligent, thought provoking and exquisite performances. Academy awards all around. That is the end of my review, however the minimum character limit being 600 means I can also point out a few of the many, many highlights: Lance Henriksen's best work can be found here. His achievement in this film is the compilation of a lifetime filled with excellent performances, and an acting masterclass. I laughed out loud when he uttered a "bishop" easter egg, in the middle of such a gentle, touching performance. Tatum Matthews acting ability far exceeds her age. Both David Girard and Sinda Nichols had my attention for every line of dialog they skillfully delivered. Finally, Franklin Ritch, who strongly reminds me of Tom Green, not only wrote one of the best screenplays I've ever seen, his spot on acting and brilliant directing has me thinking this man is punching way over his weight category. Disney should be doing anything possible to secure the talent of this phenom.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022)
Not terrible.
Having watched original Trek in black and white when it debuted so long ago, there is a familiar Roddenberry feel. While still suffering from writers not knowing the source material and ridiculous terminology mistakes (Pike says to the conning officer "You have the com" instead of "Con"), one can excuse the poor writing as the negative influence of Alex Kurtzman. I disagree with the "What if Vulcans are just emotionally distant humans with strange clothing" approach that I believe is also a Kurtzman failing. Other than that, there weren't any glaring lapses in basic science as in the other Kurtzman damaged productions of Paramount. Being the first episode of the first season, I can see watching it, unlike Star Trek Picard, which I abandoned after season one, Lower Decks which I could only watch part of the first episode, and Star Trek Discovery, the unwatchable mess that should have doomed any future Star Trek properties. If they can write the crew as admirable, disciplined geniuses (Star Fleet's best of the best) the show may have a chance with audiences. Typically Paramount green-lights multiple seasons of Kurtzman projects regardless of quality, but somehow I feel he has been distanced from this production, and that is to it's credit. UPDATE: Unfortunately the show's writing is not up to par. It's inconsistent, and like JJ Abrams "cold fusion bomb" that makes things "cold", the writers have no basic science background, and it shows badly. The runner has decided to take the characters we love. For example, Number One, a talented woman who through her hard work and effort rose through the ranks to become a hero in her own right, right? Not any more. Kurtzman removes her talent and how special she was. Now she excelled in Star Fleet not because she was the best, she's just a regular old stupid normal person who had a 'genetic augment'. The writing staff has literally stolen events from other shows, such as Scotty's genius when inventing a way of surviving in a transport buffer in TNG. Now, it's just something the SNW doctor does to keep his daughter around because the writers have never heard of stasis. Also, level 5 diagnostics, the fast checks are now backwards. Now it's the level one checks that are the fast one... obviously the current writing staff not only can't write within their own story bible produced by the previous shows, they can't even remain consistent from episode to episode. EDIT: After several weeks of the show, it appears that Kurtzman is lifting stories from Ursula K. Le Guin without permission, and brazenly bragging about it. Based on copyright theft alone, I can no longer sanction the watching of this terrible show and it's thieving producer.
Star Trek: Lower Decks: Temporal Edict (2020)
How is this for children, Kurtzman?
This series keeps being defended for it's low quality by Kurtzman et. al saying it's "for children". This episode is full of profanity and borderline sexual violence. I think it's time for the CBS censors to get involved, because either Kurtzman is deliberately sexualizing children, or lying about who this series was actually intended for, and that since CBS failed to deliver anything clever, they went for crude.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
I thought this was about war - in the stars?
Well, it looks like there is no where to go in the Star Wars franchise now that the rebellion is dead.
Thanks for ending the story for us Disney, no need to make that next movie. No need at all.
Westworld (2016)
The most beautifully filmed high-tech boring show ever.
One of the first things that strikes you about Westworld (TV) is the introduction. It's shot with a ghostly calm, introducing you to the construction of the series. When the show begins you are introduced deeply into this world of 3d printed - everything - to be immediately hooked by the brilliant performance of Anthony Hopkins. There is no doubt, the man is a genius and his acting is a pleasure. It's not until later that you realize just how mundane his dialog actually is, that's how good he is. A common concept throughout the series is that "None of this matters" and after a while you begin to agree. As the entire cast can be fully restored and placed 'good as new' back into the show, there is no worry about a single character. You just don't care because there is no threat. Cinematically it is masterfully shot and the sound design is academy level. Unfortunately, as almost anyone in the show might say "you can put lipstick on a pig, but that ain't gonna make it entertaining".
If you note the incredibly high rating of this show you might think I am somehow biased, but the truth here is there is no hero's journey, no drama, no real plot. It is a show made entirely of context. Entirely.
If you enjoy mindless technically brilliant filmmaking, this is the show for you. If you want to talk about it at work the next day, good luck because there is little to no story advancement. Think I'm wrong? Try writing your own synopses for each episode. I dare you.
Con Man (2015)
Alan Tudyk shows he is a deceptively good writer!
While it's no secret that Alan Tudyk's career has been substantially helped by his successes in the sci-fi genre, his self-written "Con Man" gives the actor a well deserved poke in the self complacence. Mr. Tudyk's writing is witty, ridiculously funny in parts, thoughtful and opens his soul to us. We see a man who has never had his magnum opus (in his own mind) despite being loved and adored for his work on a science fiction show that was cancelled far, far too soon. As a result, he grows to hate the very show that made his face so well known. To me watching the series, I was struck by the thought that Leonard Nimoy's book "I am not Spock" shares a similar tone to Alan Tudyk's concept. He plays the role of former star so well, I've no clue if Mr. Tudyk personally feels this way or not, though I suspect there is some personal truths in the writing of this show.
The glimpse of him playing "Cash" during the 'lost episode' clips had me interested in what I thought was going to be a goofy insert - but I found that in those moments the actor and co-producer Nathan Filion filmed a very interesting, entertaining and intense vignette.
If you enjoy low-brow humour, it is replete throughout. If you want to care about the plight of a man who, though he was forced to make some garbage, strives to be better - to entertain. That's what this series does. Con Man entertains, and it does it with respect and care.
Congratulations team. You have made something memorable and enjoyable. Now, go make more. 'See you in hell', Alan.
Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016)
Batman is back. The REAL one.
If you grew up knowing that Adam West is Batman, you tend to find the movies a bit - childish. I know that sounds odd, but Ward and West were fantastic. These later attempts at Batman have missed the point. Batman shouldn't have a body count. The last Superman / Batman gorefest left me with such a disgust for the franchise (Batman flat out murders unarmed people) that I didn't care if they ever made another. Then this appeared. Batman - return of the caped crusaders is brilliant. It is how the Batman was envisioned, a do-gooder who was a role model. He was justice.
Best scene? "3 Catwomen?" Buy this, give it to your friends. They will kiss you right on the mouth for it.
Patient Seven (2016)
Truly the Michael Ironside show.
With the inclusion of an absolutely stellar performance by Alfie Allen, Michael Ironside knocks it out of the park. This is a very solid 8/10 and impressive for featuring other actors and directors I have never heard of before - and it works. Alfie Allen is mesmerizing in his role and if they decide to expand on his story-line I am sure they will have a solid hit on their hands. Michael Ironside is quintessentially a good actor. You can't take your eyes off of him for each subtle eyebrow twitch speaks volumes. Well done, folks. I don't want to give away any of the story-lines, but the way the plot weaves in and out of context to suddenly be brought hard back into focus is astounding. If you get a chance to see this take it.
Timeless (2016)
A horrid waste of potential 2/10
Spoilers - but will it matter? A historian, tech and a crack soldier are sent back in time to catch some people intent on possibly changing history. Before this can occur - the soldier attempts to change history because a woman looks like his dead wife. Now - if one guy does it and is bad, shouldn't your soldier have been the type who would know better? Apparently not. They should have shot him dead and continued the mission, but they don't, instead they shoot the plot and we no longer care what happens.
They get back and think - hey, can't we just go back 5 minutes before history changes and stop them? No, nope, because you can't risk encountering yourself - but here is where the audience watching all yell "send someone else then, stupid!"
Avoid this show at all costs. The writing is some of the worst to ever hit TV.
Howard Lovecraft and the Frozen Kingdom (2016)
Torn - love to hate it or hate to love it.
First off, let me say that it was suggested this production company adds positive reviews for their work. Keep that in mind. Judge for yourself if this is the case by the dates the reviewers joined.
Now to the review: I did enjoy this film more than I should have. I really liked it. Why? This is probably one of the best (only) Lovecraft stories for children that I've seen. The other notable and best was "The Real Ghostbusters" Cthulhu episode. What works: The animation style is charming, relaxed and easy to see. Lots of contrasts enable you to follow the action without distraction. The talent: Fantastically voiced by the actors, notably young Howard. The themes: reasonably loyal to Lovecraft's characters - but obviously you can't do that and still have a children's' show. I liked the compromises made. The artistic designs - wonderfully modelled characters do a nice job of making you feel the 1920's feel.
What does not work: The actual animation - several times I saw trees floating in air, parts of the ground missing (though this could have been deliberate). The flow seems a bit jerky at times, but I don't imagine this picture had a massive hardware budget, so it's forgivable. This has the feel of being created around the same time as "Starship Troopers - Roughnecks". The voice of Spot: very, very badly voiced by a producer. No inflections, difficult if not impossible to understand for most of the show. You might as well remove all of Spot's dialog and just have him grunt. The pacing: This show could have used the experience of a professional director / editor and chopped about 30-45 minutes out of it. The action pauses so many times during the 'intense' scenes that it's like they tried to lengthen the film by adding 10 seconds every minute. Perhaps the distributes demanded it be a certain length and they simply didn't have the content. The price: This is a show I think you should buy - but only as a $5 digital download. Currently its price-point is excessive and preventing widespread sales. I hope the producers make this change before it is downloaded for free via torrents.
Overall this is something that should have been sold on STEAM, not destined for theatres. It does not have broad appeal and selling it as a $20 bluray is a pipe-dream.
That being said, I'd love to see this as a television series. I think it would be reasonably well received. Like I say, I really enjoyed it, but I'm starving for new HP Lovecraft content and this will have to do.
Another World (2014)
Liked the movie? Then your account is new~!
All of the glowing reviews here are from new "users" who all happened to join at the same time, only wrote a review for THIS movie and all have essentially the same manner of writing.
Fake reviews for a bad movie. You can imagine that the studios who need to flood IMDb these days with fake reviews when they put out a bad film - probably ALSO feel that YELP blackmail to get a free meal is good for everyone.
Stop this practise now, let this production company die, do not watch this movie.
Thank you.
Push (2009)
Unable to finish the movie.
I had read an excellent review of the movie and decided to watch it. About 10 minutes in I realized that the review was probably a paid plant. I got 40 minutes in and it just kept getting worse and worse until I gave up.
What makes this particularly upsetting is I walked in with high hopes. This is an awful movie. I can't even point to a single scene I could enjoy. If you paid to see this movie, I am sorry.
The performances were shallow, the 'hooks' were stupid (there is some guy with the ability to scream and it somehow destroys things), the storyline borrowed.
No tale is being told here, just some people trying to make a fast buck by slipping another horrible movie into your view.