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Reviews
Manodrome (2023)
Great actors wasted on an unrealistic, meandering plot
I didn't quite know what to expect with this movie and still don't know what I got. The situations are so unrealistic to the point of the impossible, starting with this "manodrome" mansion clearly inspired by NXIVM including the branding, and they make no sense other than being half baked plot devices for precipitating the protagonist deeper into confusion, rage and insanity.
Excellent acting, and the capable direction is trying its best to breathe life into a bizarre, contrived and inept script.
I would strongly recommend to the writer to reach out to Asylum Studios who seem to be more in line with his aptitude.
And I would fully expect the exec who greenlit this turd to be fired for cause. What a waste of money and talent on what was so obviouly a really bad script.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Why call it the Man from U.N.C.L.E.?
Not a bad movie, not a good movie, but other than the name of the two lead characters it bears zero resemblance to the original show it's named after. While it originally started in black and white as a spy show that was taking itself seriously, the second season brought in color and a definitely '60s groove, as well as a fun parodic tone of the hugely popular James Bond movies.
Everybody remembers the nifty tech like the UNCLE communicator pens (Open channel D!) and the UNCLE Special gun, as well as Leo G Carroll as the spy boss trying to keep his rambunctious agents under control. The odd, never explained tags all wore at UNCLE headquarters added to the mystique, and of course the production note thanking UNCLE in the end credits was a touch of genius.
To attempt a movie out of such an iconic series is a massive challenge and in my opinion this is an epic fail on all accounts. A similar endeavor, the Avengers movie (no, not the superheroes, but the classic British series featuring Patrick McNee) yielded a considerably better result in my opinion, which, probably due to its respect of the original material, ended up failing at the box office.
It makes me sad this movie is getting good reviews; it would deserve probably a 6 or 7 out of ten if its name was different, but as "the man from UNCLE" it's a big zero.
Well, looks like I'm going to go back to watch season 2 of Man from UNCLE and then I'll watch me some Avengers.
Diabolik (2021)
An interesting take
With the trend of rebooting old classics, whether it's with cars with the mini and the Fiat 500, TV shows with Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who, it was only a matter of time before someone would add a new take to one of the most popular fiumetti of all times. While this adaptation is not without charm, it's surprising the Manettis chose not to dust it off a little; it is set in the same timeframe as the original Bava movie, which makes it easy to compare and that's not always in favor of the new version. I loved Bava's absolutely ludicrous, impossible secret lairs, larger than life plots and situations. It was silly, but in keeping with the comic.
While this new installment still has a ridiculous plot (I would have been disappointed if it hadn't) it's somehow holding back as if trying to make it believable.
Miriam Leone is outstanding, Luca Marinelli pulls off the emotionless Diabolik without breaking a sweat, photography is superb, an entertaining movie if you grew up reading the silly Italian comics, but probably a WTF movie if you didn't...
To be honest I would have loved a reboot in modern Italy with maybe Diabolik and Eva's son taking over the family business, more gadgets, more action, more craziness. That doesn't make this movie any less enjoyable.
The Orville (2017)
Star Trek: Splenda
I've been watching every single episode and we're now halfway through season 3. I still don't understand what McFarlane is shooting for - or why he hasn't received a C&D from Paramount for ripping off its franchise.
This is not, like some have written, a send up of Star Trek. A send up would be funny, like the marvelous Galaxy Quest - which is well deserving of its own series. The Orville is not a sendup; it's a servile copy of the Next Generation-era Star Trek, with the addition of cursing, some sexual situations and lame jokes. Taking out the transporters and removing the warp nacelles from ships is not enough to claim differences: this series doesn't make the slightest effort at creating an original world, it just steals everything.
I find it interesting that my friends who like this series are familiar with ST:TOS but never watched ST:TNG. I think any TNG fan can only be puzzled by what this is trying to accomplish. In my opinion, it's failing on all accounts: it's not a satire, it's not a comedy, it's not funny, and it's not original. I'm going back to rewatch the beautifully restored TNG.
The Case for Christ (2017)
If that's the best case you can make...
Stay out of court!
What irks me the most about this tripe is that it claims to be objective. It poses as the "real life" story of a "hard hitting" journalist investigating his wife's newfound faith and how he discovers he's been wrong all along and her wife's is the One True Fatth(TM)
The problem is that it's completely dishonest, and nothing about it is objective. In the end, it's really going to wow gullible believers into realizing how "facts" prove their faith, whereas anybody capable of the slightest critical thinking will walk away puzzled at how stupid people can be.
Pathetic.
Time Changer (2002)
Not even good enough for a laugh
This movie is so awful that I can't imagine even its targeted audience (ultra-conservative xtian wackjobs) can withstand the pain of sitting through it. Even Joel and the bots couldn't turn this dreck into something entertaining; it makes "Left Behind" look like "Avatar" in comparison. When I first heard Gavin McLeod's character state the main point of the movie (morality without jeebus is no morality at all and only jeebus can give you absolute, other religions and atheists be damned) I thought it was a joke but no! It really is the ridiculous point the movie is trying to make. Needless to say, you're only going to be convinced if you're already convinced and have surrendered your critical thinking to the imaginary man in the sky. Probably one of the stupidest movies ever made (yes, worse than "Plan 9")