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Reviews
Night Swim (2024)
Yeah, it's a haunted pool
I went into this film with expectations at an exceptionally low tide, having seen many critic and user reviews laughing about the "haunted swimming pool" idea. As I sat down to watch, beer in hand (a must for this film, honestly), I expected it to be downright awful, and to find myself yelling to many a character, "JUST DONT GO IN THE POOL!?!?" To my honest surprise, while this movie is absolutely kooky (I can only assume its writers were high AF when they came up with the idea), and not at all scary, everyone did the best with the material they had, and when the story went *deeper* to add more to the haunted pool idea, I actually was pretty pleased with how everything eventually came to the surface. I'm a horror fan-and a comedy fan-and this is kind of in the middle of both. It's a mindless way to pass the evening (as I said, drinks are highly recommended), but while it may not float your boat, it's not the worst way to spend your time. Go in it with no to low expectations, and maybe you'll be surprised.
Nefarious (2023)
Christian propaganda
I have mixed feelings about this movie. It is almost entirely a dialogue between two people: a man claiming to be possessed by a demon and a psychiatrist who has to determine whether that man is or is not insane. As someone who *loves* possession movies, I thought this take on one - focused on conversation and logic rather than exorcism - would be fascinating. While the conversation around theology, morality, and sin was interesting, it very quickly became apparent that the movie was written by right-wing religious people. For example: There is very heavy-handed anti-abortion dialogue in this movie, which is extremely grating. I wanted to turn it off at the 45 minute mark because of said dialogue; however, I pushed through. The climax of the movie was decent for what the film was. Do not mistake this as a horror. It is an attempt at theological pedagogy. That being said, I enjoyed the conversation and the actor who played Edward/Nefarious was awesome. 6/10. Also, I'm drunk so beware of this rating.
From (2022)
Don't expect answers
Nothing in this show is explained - and likely never will be. If you're comfortable watching something that will not give you answers, will end on constant cliffhangers, and will give you mystery after mystery, then this show is for you. I personally do not see why it's so highly rated. (Unless people really do like watching nonsense?) The acting is fine, some actors are better than others. I do wish there was more to the horror element - I feel like they baited me with it and now it's just a drama. The show also seems to like skipping key moments of the story, for example: Season 1 when the family spend their first night in the house together. All in all, a bit of a frustrating experience.
Men (2022)
A loose interpretation of a stunningly symbolic movie
My very loose interpretation of this film is that its heroine, much like the prodigal Eve she is aligned with in the opening scenes, is a scapegoat for men's sins. Each of the men this "Eve" encounters (one a slightly different incarnation of the last) all seem to project their fears, desires, and need for validation on to her in some way; they see her in a certain way, and so, they react violently to her when she does not mirror or fulfil their wants. Take the lustful vicar, who blames her for his carnal fantasies, or the truant schoolboy, who calls her a bitch when she refuses to play with him -- each man, in his own way, wants to be fulfilled by this Eve, and each time, when she acts with her own agency and refuses, she is met with violence. An honest if brutal portrayal of entitled men, this movie asks: What do women owe them, anyway? And when can we stop fearing what will happen when we say, "No"?
The Sandman (2022)
Dips after mid season
I found the first half of Sandman enthralling - the episodes were well-paced, it was visually stunning, and although it was episodic in its nature, introducing and then removing some characters 60-minutes or less (I would have loved to see more of Constantine), there seemed to be an overarching narrative and very detailed character development on Morpheus, God of Dreams.
And then we hit the mid season: A boatload of random human characters are introduced and we're suddenly meant to care about them, questions are raised that never get answered (I mean what is a Vortex really? What is Desire's true motive? Etc.) and then that ends - again, pretty abruptly.
Then, the finale gives us a side story about Morpheus and a bunch of cats (why?), a story about an author and a Muse, and Dream shows up briefly before going on his way. To do what? The whole thing felt very deflated and lacking direction. What started off as a fiery and exciting show became decidedly tepid, with a lukewarm finale. If there's a second season (and the way season 1 ended, it didn't seem there will be), I can't say I'd be interested. It took me three weeks to finish this show, and in an era where we can binge watch ourselves into oblivion, I believe that's saying something.
WandaVision (2021)
Best character is Kathryn Hahn
I avoided this show for the longest time because the sitcom style put me off. However, friends kept telling me to persist past the pilot and the show gets better. I beg to differ: The cringeworthy sitcom element persists past episodes one and two, and there doesn't seem to be much character development on Wanda other than she simply wants to be a typical American housewife, and will hold an entire town hostage so that she can do so (yuck). I'm halfway through the show and with this premise, I am finding it a struggle to keep going. The best character is Kathryn Hahn and I appreciate that Kat Dennings is in it, too. But for the life of me I can't understand the high ratings. Maybe I'll change my mind by the end, but I don't have high hopes. Loki was much better and actually gave substance to a character beyond that which the movies had provided. This? It's mostly just a laugh track.
The Witcher (2019)
What the leshy is going on?!
And I've just finished episode 2 of season 2, which saw Kaer Morhen transformed into a brothel... and nobody but Geralt had a problem with it. As someone who has read the book series and loved the games, I am flabbergasted at where this appears to be going. Season 1 was great -- but wtf is going on with Season 2?
Baby Driver (2017)
Headache
Turned it off after half an hour. The sound track was constant and pulled me out of the "plot" - whatever plot there was - and found the main kid so annoying with his dancing around everywhere.
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
Terrible
The script is so poor and the characters so wooden that even these great actors couldn't save it from descending into one of the most boring and soulless flicks I've watched in the last year. Another dud from Netflix.
Shadow in the Cloud (2020)
Pretty ridiculous ...
... for the final thirty mins. The first 50 minutes are solid. Chloe does a great job - that English accent is almost impeccable! - and the atmosphere created by her obnoxious and sexist crew is infuriating, but effective. At the 50 min mark it does get a bit... extra. But just sit back and enjoy! Don't take it so seriously! I mean, they do warn you about gremlins in the opening scene, so, yeah.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Great fight scenes but why is Eleven in it
This whole movie could have done without the teenaged characters-and it's not like the other human characters were interesting, anyway. Just show me the kaiju.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Clearly I missed the point
Very well acted; wonderful battle scenes (9/10 for that.) The entire premise of the movie? Dumb. Why sacrifice eight people for one? What general in their right mind would do that? Oh, right, because that very moving Abe Lincoln letter was in his desk and he felt some futile gesture of goodwill would offset the crushing grief felt by everyone else who lost loved ones in the war. Gotcha. Wonderful. Makes all the sense in the world.
Pardon My Icelandic (2020)
Fantastic show!
Wholesome, clever jokes that did not fail to make me laugh. I loved Ari's different accents and his impressive use of other languages. A fantastic special. I am excited to see more of Ari in the future.
The Stand: The Stand (2021)
Fireworks!
I really enjoyed this penultimate episode. The Hand of God wasn't stupidly obvious like in the mini series or the book; Nadine's death was great; Vegas was as flashy (and weirdly appealing) as ever; Lloyd's turn around from villain to misguided Everyman was strangely heartfelt. Loved the exploding people, too. Haha.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What a mess
I loved the first Wonder Woman movie: it was emotional, thrilling, and had a fiery final fight that was the perfect climax to an origin story. I had high hopes for the sequel. However, this dumpster fire of a movie did not add anything good to an already bad year. The story is beyond ridiculous-from the weird wish-induced apocalypse to Wonder Woman having a new set of powers that includes an infinitely long lasso to being able to essentially fly, this is a one of the most ridiculous and incoherent films I've seen. It seems to only exist to bring Steve back (unnecessarily) so Wonder Woman could let him die (again) and begin to "get over" him by doing so. After an hour of watching, I couldn't wait for it to finish.
The Stand (2020)
Completely changed my original review
At first, I thought the fact that a lot of viewers whining because the story wasn't being told chronologically was unnecessary and a bit entitled: the show has a great cast (the actor who plays Harold Lauder is arguably the best), and I assumed the lack of chronology was to speed up everyone's journey to Boulder so we could focus on the story from there. You know, the whole Stand part? I was so very wrong.
The lack of chronology in this show has totally taken away from meaningful character development. As a result, we are left caring very little for anyone. For example: Nick Andros (my favourite character in the book) is barely in the show, and any agency he did have in the novel with the actions he takes (putting Tom's name forward to go spy in Vegas; later, discovering the bomb in the house) are taken away, as those actions are performed by other characters entirely. Another example is Trashcan Man. He does not show up until episode 6, and his entire characterization is totally rushed. (Not to mention, what the heck was Ezra Miller thinking with his performance?) Frannie has been given a lot of screen time, which I suppose is fair, seeing as all she really does in the novel and 90s miniseries is pregnant-cry, but her screen time means she's taking away from other characters (she's the one who warns everyone about the bomb). Mother Abigail is totally on the back-burner, too, so we can't really care about her, either.
All of this rushed story telling actually has me thinking, you know what? Vegas looks pretty fun. I would rather go there.
Also, it seems a bit odd that almost every single main character (minus the chick who plays Frannie, sorry-not-sorry) is gorgeous. Honestly, I was expecting Nick (the rare few times he did show up) to start doing his best catwalk strut. Even Trashcan Man is attractive, being played by Ezra Miller (even if he's done a bit of a bad job with it). Does Hollywood know that regular people exist? This is a minor scruple of mine but it definitely points to this show relying on hot "star power" more than good storytelling.
I wish I could have stuck with my original 8/10 (I thought the first two episodes were very promising) but this show is lifeless and shallow. I'm very disappointed.
Update: Don't even bother with the final episode if you watch this show. They just made it up. They skipped the whole "Back to Boulder" story with Redman and Tom and made an entirely new story based on Frannie's desire to go on a road trip. Ffs. Pointless and dumb.
Mulan (2020)
It's not the same movie; get over it.
This movie is very different to the animated film: there's no singing; there's no Mushu; there are lots of typical Chinese martial art action scenes (i.e. people running straight up walls/basically flying); there's a new villain; the ending is different.
... And that's okay. Stories don't all have to be told in the same way. Sorry that you might be upset about that. Here is a review of the film from someone who isn't heartbroken that it's not identical to the animated movie. (Seems like I am one of the only people here who thinks that way.)
IMO, live-action Disney adaptations that follow the animated version frame by frame are boring as hell because you know what's going to happen. At the end of the day, this movie is about a woman showing us she can do exactly what men can do - if not more - and she saves her kingdom through her persistence and intelligence, not just her physical strength. Is that not the message of the animated film? (She also brings the more "feminine" idea of love/family into what are considered prized virtues. Yay.)
This rendition of Mulan naturally has a lot of power; but the crux is that she can only harness that by being true to herself as a woman, not by being deceptive and trying to pass as a man. So there's some weird chi-related stuff. You're not okay with that but you wanted a talking dragon? You can't have this woman accept herself and her strength unless Eddie Murphy helps her to do so?
For people wondering about the witch: she represents what Mulan *could* have become based on the biases at the time. The witch is "evil" because she was cast out for being a strong woman and sided with the only people who would tolerate her. Mulan, luckily, gets to show her country her strength and be appreciated for it on the "good" side.
Mulan's character isn't as fleshed-out as it could be; additionally, the story is weaker in parts and seems rushed in some sections (in particular when she is turned away by the general only to be accepted back minutes later and put at the head of the group to save the Emperor). However, it is a solid story of intelligence and perseverance and the action scenes are fantastic, which somewhat makes up for the lack of character development.
Although it's not a musical, if you pay attention, some of the songs from the animated film do make their way into this edition. Also, some of the lines from the animated movie are repeated in this. (Mulan was my favourite "Disney princess" when I was a kid so I really noticed these nods to the older movie.)
In short, this film has its flaws but I thoroughly enjoyed it as a new take on a classic. Stop being so butthurt it's not a carbon copy of something you already watched.
The Wrong Missy (2020)
Not great, but funny enough
The actors did a good job and the comedy was fine - at points I laughed aloud - but my qualm with this movie is how lack of consent is used as comedy. There are two scenes where we essentially are given the message that "rape is fine if it is done by women": in two instances the male protagonist is basically date-raped by Missy. If the roles were reversed that would not be seen as funny or cute. We need the same standards universally. Maybe I'm a prude in that I don't find sexual assault funny.
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)
Perfection
I read the book in one sitting. I was apprehensive about how it would play out as a movie. They did a lot of it differently, but for me, it evoked many of the same emotions I had at the end of the book - especially because I understood where it was going. I think this was a beautiful movie.
To sum it up as best I can: It's an ode to loneliness. It is a memorial and a fantasy of all the people we could have been, and the lives we could have had, if only we had found a true connection with someone else.
Floor Is Lava (2020)
Terrible
They chose the dumbest people possible to compete and then gave them scripted lines. It's awful. Don't watch.
Kiss Me First (2018)
Fell off after two episodes
Didn't make it past episode 3. All of the characters suck and it's just a teen drama with no real exploration of the VR world that is such a big part of the characters' universe. Avoid.
Iliza Shlesinger: Unveiled (2019)
Loved her before her ego got the best of her
Freezing Hot, War Paint, and Confirmed Kills were awesome. Iliza made some great jokes and they were often layered with her own political/personal views, but it never felt overbearing. I laughed! I rage-quit Elder Millennial and Unveiled because, quite frankly, Iliza has got too big for her boots. She is Ego dressed in tight high-waisted pants. She's not funny any more-she's an angry political stance that doesn't give any air time to jokes, but plenty of time to her own self-indulgent opinions about "a woman's life" in 2019. I'm a feminist and I'm a millennial woman, and somehow Iliza fails to resonate with me at all. Her ego is larger than her ponytail, and-to be honest-her act is getting old.
Borderlands 3 (2019)
A flimsier story than Borderlands 2
Played this game couch co-op with my partner and it has both pros and cons.
PROS
+ Awesome massive monsters, especially the final boss fight
+ Cool scenery, planets, enemies
+ Going from planet to planet and searching for multiple vaults is awesome
+ New vehicles
+ Higher frequency of legendary items than BL2 (at least that was my experience).
CONS
- The characters are woefully underdeveloped compared to BL2 and all its DLCs. There is hardly any comraderie between existing NPCs: in BL2, you would fight beside other characters, there would be banter and side stories about their relationships. In this, it's quite the opposite. You literally see an adult Tiny Tina once or twice, and all the other fan-favourites appear with the same frequency. The character with the most development is Tannis, followed arguably by Maya and her protégée, but that's pretty much it. Even though the game is a race to "save the universe," I couldn't help thinking, "Why?" It honestly seems like none of the characters could care less about one another. Very disappointing, especially given the emotional development of characters in BL2 and with the Tiny Tina DLC. Lilith is almost a robot and nobody else is really... in it.
- Very buggy. Lots of lag.
- Side quests can be pretty dull and feel like chores.
In the Tall Grass (2019)
Not for everyone
I went into this movie knowing that opinions were very divided, but I was pleasantly surprised.
POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW
The content leaves a lot for the viewer to interpret; however, my partner and I decided that the movie makes most sense if you view the rock as something that messes with both time AND space. Think of the rock as a meeting point for different realities and it soon makes sense why there seems to be no clear beginning with who entered the tall grass first: then the answer is, they all did. All characters were the first to enter the tall grass, from different realities. That is why there are multiple copies of the same people, and it is not clear who came "first."
Yeah, kind of a whacky theory, but the movie makes almost no sense otherwise-and that, I fear, is why people dislike it so much.
American Gods (2017)
Season 1 showed promise, season 2 is terrible
I had to write this review for anyone who is thinking of trying out this series if they loved the book as much as I did. Do not go beyond season 1. Do not pass. Stop. Season 2 is *terrible* for the following reasons (SPOILERS):
1. The plot, which barely follows the source material, is very forced. Wednesday made about four allusions to "sacrifice" over one and a bit episodes. Way to push his ultimate agenda.
2. WHY IS LAURA MOON PART OF THE CREW? WHY WONT SHE LEAVE?
3. New Media is the most annoying character I've ever seen on a television show. She used the word "hashtag" IN A SENTENCE. More than once. Ugh.
4. Gods are appearing that were never in the book and seem to do nothing to further the plot other than serve to hint that Wednesday is a shady dude (which we aren't meant to be clocking onto yet!)
5. Slow. Where is it going. What is its purpose? Why is it continuously botching an amazing novel?
6. Czernobog? Nancy? Where are you?
7. What about that Easter storyline?
Will update this review accordingly. For now, my advice to all who loved the novel: steer clear.