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matthewstevens
Reviews
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
This movie... was bad.
It completely escapes me as to what the hell Paul Anderson was smoking. I am a personal nerd for the Resident Evil game series, and this abomination honestly offended me. I just don't understand why this moron couldn't simply follow the basic timeline of the games. WHO IN THE NAME OF GOD IS ALICE? I don't know; could someone help me out? I beat all of them games and I couldn't find her anywhere. I can honestly claim that this movie is a joke. Nemesis on the other hand was done well and he was pretty accurate if you compare him to the game series, but at the end they made him an insufferable wuss against SUPER BITCH. Please listen to me and even if it is a little tempting, do not see this movie. Do not support Paul Anderson. He only soils the good name of the survival horror genre.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
decent , but not very good
AVP as a movie was decent. But it really didn't make any sense. I am not a fan of Paul Anderson. This movie was god compared to the resident evil movies, but does Mr. Anderson ever do research on whatever the heck he's writing?????!!!! Specific quote from the masterpiece predator: "They say the hunter looks like butcher. Only in HOTTEST years this happens. And this year it grows hot." Okay....... So Paul picked the hottest place he could find......Fricking Antarctica!!!!!!!! I honestly don't get it! I know there are penguins in Antarctica, but I had no idea there was an ancient pyramid that just so happened to be crawling with aliens. The only thing Paul Anderson knew about this world is that there are penguins in Antarctica. And when the chick gave the gun to the predator, he was going to shoot her with it!!!! Come on! The rule of the predator is to not harm prey that is not armed. And instead of using the real predator face, they made him look like Bob Marley if he got his face stuck in a cotton gin! the fight scenes were so close, I was gonna have an epileptic seizure. God.
The Big Bus (1976)
A Funny Story about this Movie
There's a funny story about this movie. My dad said he remembered liking it and showed it to me. I was eager to see it, since he raved on it. During the movie, I laughed a little bit, maybe once or twice, but that's it. I didn't want to make him sad, so I pretended to laugh. When it was done, my dad and I didn't talk. For a while, we turned the movie off in silence. After about two minutes, my dad says "Wow, I..uhh...don't remember it being that bad. Sorry.". I was glad that he hated it too. We hated it together. It was not a funny movie at all. Actually, towards the end, he asked me if I wanted to turn it off, since it was so bad, but I said no. I didn't know that was what he meant, though. Look, don't see this. PLEASE! Just don't. Save an hour and a half of your life. Please.
Chicken Little (2005)
Wow. This was BAD
First of all, this movie had plenty of great trailers, but when you get to the movie, it's a mess. There are plenty of rip-offs from other movies, including War Of The Worlds, ET, about every baseball movie ever made, and, obviously, the Chicken Little Scenario. This movie has old songs that sound like rats are singing them (Especially the karaoke and the credits). The characters are stupid, the jokes are random and unfunny, and at the end, we get another "Hollywood never messes with the true story" quote. Of course, the story is messed up (Adam West is involved). Please don't see this. It is BAD! It's a mess of animation, and it just doesn't work. Please don't support Disney with something like this. PLEASE!