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Capt_Horror
Reviews
Albino Farm (2009)
This was actually probably the worst HORROR MOVIE EVER!!
One word comes to mind - CHEAP. I saw this movie because I heard WWE's Chris Jericho was in it. I am actually shocked that such a big name would agree to be in this garbage. I honestly believe anybody off the street could do a better job than the director did on this movie. The actors are terrible, I can ensure none of them will get any more roles in movies after this disaster. The movie looks like something you could achieve by running around in open fields with a camcorder screaming. AVOID this garbage at all costs. It's a terrible rip-off from movies such as Wrong Turn and Hills have eyes. Chris Jericho can't act, his accent changes half way through the movie and he looks like a complete JOKE....a PRO WRESTLER and looks to be about the same size as these stupid college kids. I just hope the budget was no more than $20 because thats how bad this really is.
Venom (2005)
Not a bad slasher if you wanna kill some time!!
If you're a true die hard horror fan that enjoys watching loud mouthed teens get slashed up by crazy ugly killers then this movie should be right down your street. After about 5mins I knew this movie wasn't gonna be a masterpiece or great by any means but it will keep you entertained throughout the whole movie. I liked most of the death scenes regardless of the plot being utter stupid and not very interesting. Its a young new cast and some of them girls were pretty hot in my opinion =). The reason I watched this movie was because I saw on the trailer that it was from the creators of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and so I expected a movie in the same quality, well its not anywhere near as good. I say if you're bored and want some decent slasher flick, give it a go!!
Satan's Little Helper (2004)
I loved this movie!! Clean Horror Fun!!LOL
Going into this movie I wasn't expecting much, After about 5 mins I knew this movie was gonna be awesome and bunch of laughs. I really enjoy horror movies that take place on Halloween, this one was brilliant!!. The kid was so dumb it was hilarious, and "SATAN" was hilarious with his body language. I saw this movie while I was drunk with some buddies and man it really had us pissing ourselves with laughter as the kid and Satan went around knocking over helpless people outside the supermarket, Haha priceless. I say, give it a chance! - Don't expect a dead on serious horror movie, this is a Horror/Comedy and it delivers just THAT!! THANKS!
The Snow Walker (2003)
How is the movie getting such good ratings?
Were we all watching the same movie? - I turned down a night out with my friends to watch this movie which I now regret. The whole movie revolves around 2 characters walking around and jumping in puddles and 1 of them was practically mute. I was struggling to keep awake, nothing happened, they just walked around. It was so slow moving I nearly stuck my fist through the TV!!. Many of you are praising this film because it had beautiful scenery, yeah I can relate to that, surroundings were nice but that doesn't hold together a movie with ZERO excitement and a cast with ZERO charisma. I recommend anybody that is even thinking about watching this movie to...DON'T!! - Don't make the same mistake I did.
BORING BORING BORING!!!
Trespassing (2004)
Average Horror Snoozefest!
To be fair, it was watchable. The thing that annoyed me mostly with this movie is that it was very slow moving, the character's you never really got any inside depth of so you was left with that neutral feeling of you don't care if they LIVE or DIE. The acting was somewhat to be desired but what do you expect when they probably picked a handful of people from the street and gave them a few hours to remember their lines. The thing that amused me the most was the actual DVD box, on the back it says "Scarier than CABIN FEVER, more terrifying than JEEPERS CREEPERS" - LOL what planet is this guy from, first off he picked 2 lousy examples of horror movies to compare with and second off it was NEITHER!