puzzow Reviews

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Yes, it's a sucky film- but was anyone really expecting otherwise?

[4/10 · 24 June 2008]

The original "Alien" and it's sequel are two of the finest action/sci-fi/thrillers ever made. The original "Predator" is, to a lesser extent, a well-made 80's era action/thriller. The current round of Alien vs. Predator films are nothing but concept- a product derived from video games and comic books churned out to attract a young, male demographic. It is shame that they've bastardized two great film franchises to do it- you can't help but draw comparisons and, in doing so, yearn for the original movies, which were genuine films and not slickly packaged marketing material. On an even sadder note, this sequel suffers in comparison to the first Alien versus Predator, which itself was far from a magnum opus. The current movie takes the most generic "creatures attacking a small town" plot line, touches upon every horror cliché in the book and has absolutely nothing new to offer in the process. The only thing that differentiates it from a Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi channel "creature-feature" are the very expensive-looking special effects. In fact, this movie seems to mainly exist for its special effects. If you check the credits, you will see that two directors of this film primarily have special effects work to their name- which they probably stick to doing because, as this film demonstrates, special effects do not a movie make.

The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg (1927)

Sweet, Sweet Film

[9/10 · 8 February 2008]

This a delightful film full of humanistic touches-- from young Prince Karl's playful relationship with his good-natured mentor, Dr. Juttner, his carousing and drinking with the students in Old Heidelberg, to his paddling upon lakes and taking mad carriage rides with the beautiful barmaid, Kathy-- it's all at once side-stitchingly funny, bittersweet, romantic and a nostalgic tribute to youth and young love. The film is made with such a deft touch that, to the end where Prince Karl returns to visit Heidelberg, it never becomes schmaltzy. It is consistently charming and ends on a pitch perfect note. A real crowd pleaser. Highly recommended.

Darkness (2002)

Horror? No. Horrible? Yes. (spoiilers)

[5/10 · 19 January 2008]

Do not be fooled by the fancy looking trailers like I was. This is a B-grade scary movie masquerading as a better movie, due to pretty-looking photography. B grade movie qualities: actors= unknown except for Anna Paquin. Character development= virtually non-existent. You have the little boy in the role of the prototypical clairvoyant child. You have the father who is characterized by weird mood swings and random acts-- like, hanging a photograph of 3 ghoulish looking women on the wall, with no buildup suggesting some odd fixation upon the photo and no characters in the movie confronting him and saying- "Why do you want that freaky looking photo on our wall? Are you crazy?" as if it were a totally natural thing to want to display photographs of ghouls. The mother-- hm? Was there another character in this movie? The plot is essentially scary moments edited together awkwardly. The scary moments aren't that scary and are derived from a thousand other horror movies- toys moving round by themselves, things crawling around on the ceiling (because things crawling around on the ceiling are really freaky), groups of ghostly children appearing and disappearing between flashes of light (because ghostly children are extremely freaky). The editing is really the main culprit. Maybe this would have been a good movie if someone had edited it to make sense. As is, the story meanders, fails to build tension where it should (at one point, a scene flashes by with something crawling around on the ceiling with no buildup, and then moves on as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. It's really odd), fails to maintain lucidity from scene to scene. Some people think the ending is difficult to understand because it's ambiguous. But- no- the problem is that it's muddled because it's badly edited. What just happened? How'd they get out of the house? The 'dark' 'got' them? Huh???? Some make comparisons to 'The Others.' Personally, this reminded me more of "Poltergeist II." or maybe "Poltergeist III."

Flash Gordon (2007–2008)

Mostly Just Meh

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

It's not a terrible show. It's just terribly mediocre. The show suffers from creative decisions that were likely made to cut costs: make Flash a regular guy instead of a star athlete (that way no sports scenes with lots of extras), have the show take place mostly on Earth with occasional warps into another world (that way, you only need a couple sets and the outdoors). As a result, the show totally lacks a distinctive look or style, the plots are basically recycled off of every other sci-fi show that was, there's no momentum, no big story arc, just kind of meh. And Zarkov and Ming-- should be colorful characters but they picked a couple of uncharismatic actors for the parts. Zarkov, in particular, looks like a guy from the back of a comic book store (or a porn shop)-- I HATE what they've done with his character. Dale is not a great actress and the character is grating (but Dale was mostly just eye-candy anyways). I find the actress who plays Baylin a lot more appealing-- I find myself rooting for her to get together with Flash. Eric Johnson is also rather bland-- but they haven't given him much to work with.

Flash Gordon is such a great premise, I'm secretly wishing that the show will do as Battlestar Galactica and regroup and suddenly make a huge leap in quality. This is probably asking too much...

Libeled Lady (1936)

Snack, Crackle, Pop!

[8/10 · 23 August 2007]

One might wonder about casting 4 heavyweights in the same film-- any one of the leads could carry a film by themselves-- but all together you're afraid that they might either weigh down the film or, ala the "Dream Team" 1990, fail to live up to expectations. But this is one time you time you will not be disappointed-- with hysterical antics by Jean Harlowe, the always dependable repartee between classy Myrna Lowe and suave William Powell, and Spencer Tracy proving for the first time that he can handle snappy dialogue like the best of 'em-- the chemistry between the cast makes every scene in this film a delight.

The banter flies so fast you'll miss it-- this is the height of screwball comedy. When people say they don't write them like this anymore, alas, they really don't.

The Outlaw (1943)

This isn't a bad movie. Sheesh.

[6/10 · 23 August 2007]

I'm surprised by all the bad reviews here-- it's like no one's ever seen an actually bad movie. Yes, this isn't a great movie...not even a particularly good one...but it's not terrible. Dated by today's standards, but probably passable in it's time, two great character actors in the lead, nice-looking photography thanks to cinematographer Greg Tolland, melodramatic but it seems to be aware of that and shameless of the fact, mainly hankered down by choppy pacing...decidedly mediocre. If it weren't for all the hubbub over Jane Russell's breasts, no one would even care anymore. But what great breasts they were. It's all about cheesecake and melodrama.

À Nous la Liberté (1931)

Delightful!

[8/10 · 27 July 2007]

I profess-- I never heard of this movie nor this director till I watched it tonight. As pointed out, the film has a socialist message-- mainly a scaffolding to hang some very clever physical humor on, though it manages to fit in a few astute (likewise hysterical) observations about modern industrial society. The male leads are absolutely charming and have great chemistry. The style of the film is something in itself. The soundtrack (one of the first original ones to be used in a film) is intertwined with the action on screen, and occasionally the actors sing along with it almost as if this were a musical...but not quite. There are moments of pantomime infused with talking scenes, almost as if the director was trying figure out how to work his style for making silent films into talkies. In total, it's a bit odd-- but it works! And it's unique. And far from dated-- it gave me quite a few belly-laughs.

The Notorious Bettie Page (2005)

Gretchen Mol is a hot babe, but movie has no point

[5/10 · 27 July 2007]

...besides that Bettie Page was a pretty girl who was very photogenic and took some photos that were considered rather racy at the time before she drifted off into obscurity. Nothing outside of superficial attempts to explore any real themes. So the fifties were a very uptight, sexually repressed era? Been done a thousand times in much more thought-provoking ways than this. And for the character of Betty? What about the fact that she was a fairly smart lady just barely missed going to college? What of her aspiring career as an actress that never panned out? What of breaking boundaries in a society where women had very few options and dealing with notoriety as a result? Interesting angles that the film only lightly touches on.

The Frogmen (1951)

Stock plot benefits from fine technical detail-- an interesting historical document

[6/10 · 5 February 2007]

The story in this one is nothing new-- the captain of an underwater demolition team (UDT) during WWII, who is a replacement to the previous beloved captain, must gain the respect of his men. The dialogue is at times a little hokey, and the performances are solid, but nothing stellar.

However, the project was obviously a heart-felt effort to capture, in detail, life aboard a WWII vessel, the procedures, the politics, and the rather fascinating methods and exploits of early UDTs, and that's what makes the film stand out. What you get is (I'm guessing) a pretty accurate representation of naval special forces in WWII, and it is quite interesting to watch how a team would covertly get in and out of shallow water near a beach to plant explosives and do recon, while being heavily shelled, often with nothing on them besides swim trunks, flippers and goggles! There are also a few very good, tense scenes. (the scene where their explosives expert has to disarm a torpedo with a tongue depressor is particularly nice-- expresses all the emotion and tension of such a moment without forcing it with a dramatic score).

Recommended to anyone interested in war history, or who enjoys a nicely crafted war movie.

Soul Plane (2004)

One-Joke Premise

[1/10 · 7 February 2006]

I'll be honest-- the pimped out purple plane with Snoop Dogg at the helm is an amusing visual gag. It would have been a decent concept for a 30 second commercial, or maybe a 3 minute music video. But the producers have committed the age-old concept comedy sin of stretching 30 seconds of material into an hour and a half of film, and the results are predictably lame. The remainder of the 89 minutes are filled with the typical gamut of racist and sexist humor and fart jokes, offensive and-- worst of all-- painfully unfunny. The threadbare plot screams under the weight of its contrivances. Best to be avoided unless you are drunk or stoned.