Zan-tastic Reviews

Fallen (2007)

Unusual and unique? I think not.

[1/10 · 17 May 2009]

Art house-style horror films are so extremely common with student filmmakers these days (to the point of being passé), but I have to be honest: even though I'm not a film student, I know I could do better.

Having been a long time fan of all things horror, I didn't find this film short scary or creepy because I've seen too many of its elements many times before. The flashing imagery? The weird noises? The wooded location? To me, it felt like a clichéd mixture of The Ring, Silent Hill, and The Blair Witch Project.

To the director, I have this to say: Don't over-hype the movie, you only come off as pompous. This had a well-presented atmosphere and some interesting imagery, but that's about it. You definitely have talent, don't waste it on what 90% of students typically do.

My critique: Decent attempt, but nothing special or original.

Hostel: Part II (2007)

Eli Roth should have quit while he was ahead

[1/10 · 3 July 2007]

Albeit, I was sort of "talked into" going to see the first Hostel, but I wasn't disappointed. The movie was, as I saw it, graphic, mysterious, and overall extremely interesting. I left satisfied.

Then, I hear rumors that a Hostel Part II is being made, and the first thought to come to my mind is: "Exactly how does one make a sequel to such a film?" Given the nature of the first film, all major plot points seemed to be covered, leaving, in my mind, nothing to expand upon. I saw Hostel II for the sole purpose of answering the aforementioned question. The answer I got wasn't one I was happy with. They didn't improve upon the first film, they largely recycled it.

If I could sum up this movie in one word, it would be "predictable." The best parts of the first movie were retooled (perhaps "regurgitated" is a better word?) and used in this one, so naturally, we saw much of it coming. Most of the film seemed like they just removed the three boys from the first film and substituted three girls and expected no one to know the difference. Beyond that, the film is filled with many needless clichés, all of which I predicted as the film wore on (such as the survivor of the first film departing this mortal coil within the first fifteen minutes, the "Tough-Talker" and the "Timid Mouse" torturers both having last-minute changes of heart, and the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" ending, which you could tell was going to happen from the first few times the characters go on and on about how much money the character of "Beth" has).

If you can work your way past the clichés, then you have to work your way through the unnecessary scenes, all of which left me with more questions than I had answers for (such as --and this one tops my list-- "WHY was that inane scene with the game of soccer using "Axell's" head even IN this film?").

In conclusion, even though the torture scenes were as good as I expected, but cut far too short (presumably for the allowance of nude females, which in my opinion should be the icing on the cake, and not replace the cake itself), I would consider this movie a waste of my money, but not of my time. It is overall as interesting as the first (it should be, at least, with much of the first script being found in this one), but not worth the $7 to $10 one would have to shell out in theaters. I'd call this movie "rent-worthy," and perhaps even worth a purchase, but only if found in the "reduced price" bin.

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Buckle up, it's a Hell of a ride...

[10/10 · 26 February 2007]

The third installment of the Final Destination series does not disappoint fans who've come to expect certain things from these films. The film opens in the usual way: A vision of a violent accident, gratuitous blood and death, and a warning nobody heeds or believes. Though there are some survivors of the roller-coaster crash, the ones who didn't survive were essentially the lucky ones. Because Death wants the survivors' lives, and Death always gets what he wants in the end. Now, one by one, the 10 survivors of the fatal crash are being stalked by an unseen force, bent on finishing his design. And this time, he's mad as hell. Operating on borrowed time, the survivors must try to figure out Death's design, and exploit it's flaw to cheat him again. But how? For me, I think what makes this movie so great is that it closely follows the outline mapped out in the first two movies, and pretty much eliminates much of the guesswork. You already know who's going to die, and in which order, it's just a matter of waiting and finding out how. Like in every Final Destination, the death scenes are very creative, ranging from slightly overdone, to downright absurd, to "Whoa, didn't see that coming!" Any fan of the Dead Teenager genre of thriller movies must see this movie! You don't have to watch the first two to understand or follow the film, but it makes a great marathon to watch them all back-to-back!

The Dark Crystal (1982)

A very imaginative tale that's easy to love.

[10/10 · 12 October 2005]

"Another world. Another time. In the Age of Wonder." So begins the classic fantasy story that is The Dark Crystal, Henson's best and, to date, only all-creature film. My father bought this movie for me the day I was born, so I quite literally grew up watching it. It's a story that never gets old. The characters are unforgettable, with a wonderful musical score that sticks in the head. Jen, the main character, finds that he is ordained to fulfill a prophecy finally revealed to him by his master, the wisest of the Mystics. A single crystal shard was lost long ago, and must be recovered before the three suns align in the sky. But Jen must first find the shard, and then figure out what to do with it once he has it, all the while trying to stay one step ahead of the cruel Skeksis. And time is running out. The thing that I think makes this movie so memorable is the fact that it is so unlike other fantasy films. It exists in a world all its own, with new creatures and characters you don't find in other films. If looking for a companion to the film, I recommend the book of the same name. It goes into more detail about the world of Thra, and I feel it greatly enhances the immersion into the film. I recommend this film to any fantasy fan who has not seen it, and if you have seen it, I find it worth seeing again.