Furrystoat Reviews

Monsters of Man (2020)

A Woke action movie on a well-worn template

[1/10 · 7 February 2022]

You'll know exactly how this will end after the first 15 minutes. All of the "good guys" are taken from Woke Central Casting, and they fit the standard mold: All of the females are "empowered" & flawless; all of the males (except for two) are complete morons; a couple are hysterics of questionable 'orientation'. And of course, they are all of the required color "diversity". Naturally, all of the "bad guys" are white males. Very early on you'll want the bad guys to win and for all of the 'good guys' to be offed, and you keep hoping this happens around the next corner so that the movie will hurry up and end.. One-dimensional characters all 'round.

Your cat could write a better script and any neighborhood dog could have done better casting. No new ground is broken, no new insights emerge. You will instantly hate most of the characters you're supposed to like. If you've seen any action movies in the past 40 years, you've seen this movie already.

Ghoul (2015)

Excellent, severely underrated

[8/10 · 10 January 2021]

The addition of references to real historical events & people made this film captivating and gave it an authenticity that most movies lack. Yes, some elements have been done before, but to hate the film just for that while ignoring the unique elements is unfair. The story was well thought out, the acting superb and the settings and set design perfectly framed the mood. Worth your time if you don't have a short attention span, enjoy learning about world historical events and enjoy a fun, escapist romp.

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

Closest to realism in a Western film yet

[9/10 · 22 December 2020]

How refreshing it was to see a Western that comes close to an accurate depiction of the actual levels of depraved, barbaric brutality against white settlers that were committed by Indians on a routine basis. Although the film naturally took great pains to cast the most brutal acts as an anomaly and not representative of the norm, anyone who has studied American history at all and in particular the practices of the native tribes knows that the specific acts depicted in the most gory parts of the film were not only commonplace but rather mild when compared with what was actually done to each other as well as to the white settlers. The film makers should be commended for having the courage to make such an effort in the direction of realism in these politically-correct times and Kurt Russel in particular should be applauded for being a part of a film that will probably never be permitted to be made again. Excellent acting throughout, and the writers did the best that they could in these truth-averse times. Not for children, but a recommended film for those who have lost faith in modern filmmakers.

The Philadelphia Experiment (2012 TV Movie)

An insult to screen writers and film makers everywhere

[1/10 · 9 December 2020]

You will hate all of the characters, you will regret every moment you've spent watching this, and you will be amazed that it never, ever gets better. So many needless plot holes that could have been corrected by a moment's thought. Two spectacularly beautiful actresses and truckloads of special effects weren't enough to save it. Written by children and produced by people who simply didn't care.

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

Surprisingly good; completely unexpected.

[9/10 · 26 September 2020]

I was ready to hate this movie, as I was expecting the standard, vicious assault on Christianity by hard-Left Hollywood that has sadly become the norm . I gave it a try anyway, and I'm so glad that I did. Although I needed to turn on the subtitles to grasp much of the dialogue, this didn't detract from my enjoyment of the film at all. It's a beautifully-crafted film & very well-acted. Excellent casting and it features a magnificent attention to detail. It's a film that I'll definitely be wanting to see again, which is VERY rare these days. Not for children or those with short attention spans, but patient, thoughtful adults who have at least a minimal understanding of history should enjoy this rare gem.

A Quiet Place (2018)

Standard, boilerplate, politically-driven waste of time.

[1/10 · 22 September 2020]

Every element, every scene, was purpose-built to convey the ineffectual man/ strong woman archetype. From the ludicrous idea that the owner of a large American family farm would only own one shotgun (which he never carries) to him making obvious mistakes that result in the death of his own child, we're repeatedly assured that the man is pretty much useless in this entire scenario and far more trouble than he's worth. Unsurprisingly, life improves for everyone immediately after he's needlessly killed off, paving the way for the sequel. Militant feminists and 'woke' children will love this movie. Thoughtful, reality-based people, not so much.

The Sky Has Fallen (2009)

An utterly pointless, uninspired rehash that goes nowhere

[1/10 · 12 March 2020]

Are you easily-impressed by gallons upon gallons of obviously-fake Hollywood blood and viscera? Is your idea of a good movie one that features a relentless series of horrific torture deaths? Of pretty girls? Do you enjoy it when a movie doesn't have any more point to it than that? At all? You'll LOVE this film! At no point are we given a chance to get to know any of the characters beyond the very most superficial things; there is no plot other than KILL THEM! and the ending doesn't resolve anything. At all. A waste of time, money and electricity for all concerned. You won't learn anything from this movie, you won't want to see it again.

E.M.P.: 333 Days (2018)

Excellent, but not for everyone

[10/10 · 28 December 2019]

If you have a short attention span or have an unshakable faith that the Government will always be there to solve your problems, this is not the movie for you. If you're quick to label those who consider the possibility of societal breakdowns due to cataclysmic events as 'conspiracy theorists' or 'nutcases' this movie is DEFINITELY not for you. The movie is different from most in many ways, particularly the pacing which is intentionally VERY slow in order to convey in a realistic way how the world has slowed down without the constant electrical hum of modern life. It is a unique and extremely valuable movie for those who recognize the very real threat of an EMP weapon or a Coronal Mass Ejection and are interested in seeing how it might change the world we live in, and how the average person might be able to not only get by but to thrive. It reminds us how much we have already lost as a society and a culture... so much of what used to be known as 'basic life skills'...elementary firearms competency, how to catch and clean a fish, what plants are safe to eat, situational awareness...these basic skills have been lost to so many because life today has become so very easy, and we forget (and many simply don't know or ignorantly dismiss the idea) that it all can change in an instant.

I also appreciate the fact that the father figure was not the usual Hollywood template of a priapic, unfaithful, drunken, violent, useless, inarticulate and abusive loser. There are a lot of good fathers out there, but not many movies acknowledge that anymore...or how essential a father figure is to a child's life.

Although the pacing initially caught me off guard, being accustomed to fast edits and breathless speed of everything in modern movies, I found that I enjoyed getting used to the different environment this movie created.

A worthwhile, valuable and meaningful movie that will never win an award and few will ever see. Sadly, that's what happens to the best movies these days.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

You will LOVE this movie! If....

[1/10 · 7 September 2018]

If you have bought into the lie of "All Southerners are idiots" and are looking for vindication of your belief system. (HINT: Actually visit The American South sometime. You'll find that it bears precisely zero resemblance to the picture of it that the Left loves to paint)

If you think that the current incarnation of SNL is the funniest and best it's ever been, particularly because of the endless, uninspired bashing of conservatives, Republicans and religious people (except Muslims of course) disguised as "comedy". If you can't wait for SNL to begin every Saturday night, this is your movie.

If you smugly consider yourself part of "The Resistance"

If ANTIFA makes you proud.

If you're happy with the direction that the Democrat Party has gone over the course of the past few years.

If you think that the concept of 'white privilege' is an obvious truth.

If you're young, haven't traveled and believe what your Leftist college Poli-Sci professor said about Southerners.

If any of the above sounds like you, you're going to absolutely LOVE this movie and get lots of laughs from it.

Arrival (II) (2016)

Pretentious feminist twaddle

[1/10 · 7 October 2017]

You've seen it a hundred times in movies and even more on TV...the woman is breathtakingly brilliant, able to easily save the world single-handed, and she's surrounded exclusively by neanderthal, overbearing, violent, inarticulate cliche's of men who don't understand the simplest concepts, treat her brutishly and impede obvious solutions to the problem every step of the way. Despite all of this, she triumphs! And without ever using makeup or making any attempt to be pretty. Hooray! Hear me roar!

Beneath the crushing weight of anti-male, feminist preaching you have a weak script full of obvious plot-holes that would have been so simple to fill...if writers had been involved weren't solely interested in making yet another feminist 'statement' movie.

None of the characters are even remotely appealing because you know exactly what they're going to do next. You've seen it before so many times, after all.

This film is Exhibit A of why normal people who are simply interested in seeing a good, escapist film without mountains of political baggage don't go to movie theaters anymore, and so many are realizing that they simply hate what Hollywood has become.

Zoolander 2 (2016)

One reason for the low ratings here

[6/10 · 13 July 2016]

While not a grand, sweeping epic of timeless storytelling, Zoolander 2 is a competent comedy with a few genuinely funny moments. Not my lifetime favorite, but one that I'd recommend to fans of the Zoolander 1 release. It's lighthearted silliness, nothing more.

One reason for the low IMDb ratings which may not be apparent to the casual reader is that there is a political agenda at play with this movie. Prior to its release, gay activists and their fellow- travelers became upset at the way one character was portrayed, a character of intentionally-indeterminate sexuality ("All"). Instead of laughing it off in a friendly, adult manner, the perpetually- offended launched a petition to boycott the movie.

Do a web search for 'zoolander 2 petition' to see for yourself.

With traditional Hollywood spinelessness, the character "All" was severely edited and some scenes featured in trailers do not appear in the final cut. Despite this, the activists continue to bash the movie mercilessly, rarely if ever admitting their true motivations for doing so.

No, it's not a 'ten star movie' but it's not deserving the extremely low, dishonest ratings and scathing reviews that it's getting here at IMDb either.