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ashpolt
Reviews
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Not a film, an event.
In case you hadn't gathered already, there's one important thing about this film: if you're the kind of person who enjoys films because of their masterful use of colour, multiple intertwined plot lines, visionary directing and amazing imagery - and more importantly, enjoys ONLY those kind of films - don't bother seeing Snakes on a Plane.
For those of you who remember that films are supposed to be fun, read on.
To enjoy Snakes on a Plane, you have to "get it." If you go into the cinema looking to analyse it, you're already not getting it. If you go in looking to be challenged, you don't get it. If you go in wanting a revealing critique on the changing morality of our times, you don't get it. Already, days after the release of this film, people are criticising it for not being realistic, for having bad special effects or whatever - they don't get it. They're doing the film equivalent of going into KFC and asking for steak - they won't get it, and they won't be satisfied with what they do get, but crucially, that doesn't mean what they're getting is bad.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a deep, meaningful film as much as the next man, if not more, but (can you tell what I'm going to say next?) that's not what Snakes on a Plane is all about, and to criticise it for not offering that is to miss the point entirely. If you go into the cinema with an open mind, looking for nothing more than some serious snakes on a plane, you'll get exactly that, and you'll have a whole lot of fun in the process.
I've seen a lot of good films in the cinema in my time, many of them better films (in an artistic sense) than Snakes on a Plane, but never - never - have I had more fun in the cinema than watching this film. The entire audience was hanging on every word Samuel L. Jackson said, and there was cheering when the immortal line eventually came - when was the last time you heard cheering in a cinema? This is, as far as I'm concerned, exactly what the movie industry needed: a reminder that not every film need to be buried underneath piles of pretentiousness thinly disguised as depth, and that sometimes the greatest pleasures in life are the simplest ones.
Simply, the most enjoyable film I've seen in a long time, and an experience I'll be having again very soon. Masterful!
The Revolting Dead (2003)
Too bad even to be funny!
I've seen a lot of bad films in my time (one of my friends and I go on occasional "crap movie marathons") but nothing - nothing! - prepared me for this. On the cover of the DVD it claims to feature "Revolting Plot. Revolting Acting. Revolting Jokes." and so on - and sadly, they really aren't joking (which, as it turned out, was a problem throughout the film!) From the moment the CG'ed "this would look great - if I was playing a Commodore 64 game!" opening credits sequence rolls to the very end, the film constantly surprises you by somehow getting worse as it goes along. I didn't expect much of this film, but I had hoped it would at least be dreadful in such a way that I could still have a good laugh at it - but sadly, no such luck! Purely, purely awful - don't put yourself through it!