jadagirl Reviews

It (I) (2017)

Wasn't that bad at all

[7/10 · 1 December 2017]

I was originally worried when they mentioned the remake of 'IT', considering the book is one of my favorites from Stephen King, and the 1990 mini-series was cool (at the time).

Have to admit though, this remake was alright (and I have seen some horrible ones in the last couple of years). The best part of this remake was Skarsgard who played Pennywise almost exactly how I had envisioned him when I read the book. While I loved Tim Curry, who made Pennywise evil, if not a little fun, Skarsgard made Pennywise seem deranged/psychotic/creepy. The movie itself was slow in some areas, but I chalk it up to character development of the kids, especially since this is just part 1. Still doesn't quite follow the book, but more so than the 1990 version.

Cheers

Split (IX) (2016)

I enjoyed it

[8/10 · 27 May 2017]

Hello 'Split'. I was glad to see M. Night returning back to what made me like his movies in the first place. While the end did not have the twists of Unbreakable or Sixth Sense, the build up of characters and the suspense of the situation made it a good watch.

So I learned long ago that sometimes people just don't get a movie, the context behind it, why the characters behave such and such, and instead just write it off as stupid. A lot of the negativity I read in reviews (after I watched the movie of course) were made by people not understanding, or just didn't take the time to understand that the lead girl behaved the way she did because of what happened to her, the other girls were not 'dumb, slow, twittering idiots' but actually did try to rescue themselves. And they WERE teenagers, so of course they wouldn't be expecting anyone other than dad to be around. I can say quite easily that when I was a teenager it was all about getting good grades, hanging with friends, and living in our own bubble.

Anyhoo, I liked this movie. There is very little in terms of blood, guts and gore, so if that is what you are expecting, move on. McAvoy was fantastic as the antagonist and made you believer in multiple personalities. Taylor-Joy was also very believable as our damaged heroine. In the end, watch it for yourself. If you liked Shyamalan back in the day I think you will like this one.

Outcast (2016–2017)

Has potential to be good

[7/10 · 24 May 2016]

Before I get into the review I just want to comment that the Storyline mentioned here on IMDb was a little misleading. When I read it, I thought he suffered from constant possessions. Not so the case. Instead our (anti)hero is plagued by people around him becoming possessed, the reason hinted upon at the end of this first episode. As I said, the show has potential. The actors/acting is solid, and deliver fairly decent scripts, not to mention the dark world of demon possession. If possession is not your cup of tea, I wouldn't suggest watching since a few of the scenes can be mildly disturbing. Time will tell if it becomes a 'hit'. Best recommendation....give it a whirl.

Tales of Halloween (2015)

Campy as Hell

[7/10 · 30 December 2015]

Tales of Halloween... Campy as Hell!! OK, you do not want to watch this if you are looking for an actual Halloween/scary movie. The dialogue is horrible, the acting is horrible, the special effects were horrible. Yet, overall, the movie wasn't bad. Some of the stories had me laughing like crazy, some were really silly and some had me thinking ""What the heck am I watching?? Truth is, I like ridiculous stories. It even got the 7/10 rating because one of the tales reminds me of Evil Dead (the original and Best with Bruce Campbell, not the crap they called a remake). Watch a couple of the stories before you dismiss this movie entirely. You never know....

Poltergeist (2015)

Poltergeist 2015....meh

[6/10 · 30 June 2015]

I was always a fan of the original 1982 version of Poltergeist with Jobeth Williams and Craig T Nelson. It was strange and creepy with awesome acting by all its cast. With this 2015 version I had a feeling of things being rushed. Most of the movie was true to the original but realizations had to be known right there, there was no discovery or acts lead up to it. The original was all about the emotion, the horror, grief and relief experienced by this family. Here I just didn't get that. The characters were wooden so I had no emotional investment in their plights. The visual effects were decent though. You got to see what was 'beyond' the closet.... were creepy. Also, I missed Tangina! In the end I still prefer the original. Just sayin...

The Final (I) (2010)

To be that angry....yeah I could see it

[7/10 · 13 September 2013]

Surprisingly, when I heard torture, disfigurement, I thought "Gee, Hostel, teenager style!!". However, the movie turns out to be a much milder version of Hostel, which is probably why I didn't find it in the least horrific. I was actually cheering for our antagonists (hmm... is that the right usage here...) and disappointed that they didn't get to them all. Yes, it sounds very harsh, but bullies gotta know that if you push someone too far, it just might come back and bite you in the ass.

So, that being said, I liked it. The young actors played their roles well. I especially liked Emily, played by Lindsay Seidel. Cool and calm (well except during the mishap with Ravi) she played up her torture scenes well. And of course there was the banjo.

Cheers

Julia X (2011)

Hahha! Now THAT was a good B-movie!

[6/10 · 10 August 2013]

Kevin Sorbo aka Hercules aka Captain Dylan Hunt. It was just the hardest/strangest thing to see him as a serial killer. I mean, c'mon! And the scary thing is... he actually looked good doing it! So the movie is all about a serial killer. He kidnaps, rapes (we assume), kills and dumps the bodies of women. Then he meets Julia. Ahh, was there ever a match made in Heaven? Turns out Julia and her sis Jessica are almost like him. In the final fight I honestly saw it going one of either 2 ways... they stop and become a couple or kill each other. Did not expect the ending I got. Ahh well. And then Jessica is a cuckoo (screwed up majorly in the brain cuckoo!) who..., well, watch and see.

If you are expecting a great movie, go away. This is for the B-movie lovers and low A-rankers. Shucks, i'd even rank it better than Re-animator (and I am a huge Jeffery Combs fan!). Overall opinion.... I liked it and had a good time watching it!

Cheers

Evil Dead (2013)

Different... that's all we can say..

[5/10 · 10 August 2013]

OK, i'm not gonna give it the lowest rating. Instead I gave it a 5/10 just because I did jump once. If you've watched the original Evil Dead, you will quickly realize its not the same campy, tongue-in-cheek horror that we all came to love. Instead, this film was supposed to be a more serious horror (as per directors words). While they did indeed retain the creepy camera movement thru the woods (when demons were summoned) and the necronomicon, little else remained. Ash has been replaced by a drug addict woman and jock Scott has been replaced by hippie-looking Eric. Also 2 of the characters are brother and sister.

This film did delve into the occult a little more than the original, but the exorbitant amount of expletives uttered throughout the movie was a complete turn off, and I definitely missed the "we're gonna get you" lullaby sung by Linda.

All in all, the movie was sort of OK but I miss the hilarity. And of course the movie would have been even better with a cameo from Bruce "Ash" Campbell!!

Cheers

The Conjuring (2013)

Creepy and I liked it!!

[8/10 · 9 August 2013]

The summary above pretty much sums it all. I liked it. No sex, no gory flailing of flesh bits and pieces or buckets upon buckets of blood. And the best of all, no expletives (or rather very little). The Conjuring gives a brilliant performance on the merit of its actors, musical score (which wasn't bad), and landscaping.

The movie reminds me a little of Amityville Horror in days of old. We have a nice family moving into a house where atrocities occurred in the past. Soon the demonic spirit(s) starts taking over. Suspense, thriller, heart palpitations for what's to come are all the signs of a good horror.

Wan has done well again. I fully enjoyed Saw (the original. the sequels got more ridiculous as they went on) and Insidious. All in all i'd fully recommend this movie.

Cheers

Feed (2005)

Disturbing.... yet strangely fascinating

[6/10 · 4 May 2013]

This movie.....WOW.

Disturbing , yet strangely fascinating. That was the only way I could sum it up. While I am a fat girl, just the thought of being so morbidly obese that I am not able to move around has always been the driving force for me not to get any bigger. Watching it here, it sent chills down my spine to know that there are actual cases of feeders/gainers in society. However, I do not judge. People are grown up to make their own decisions.

OK, on to the movie. A young Alex O'Loughlin is the feeder, and while I admired his physique (he was naked half of this movie), the interaction between him and Deidre was just disturbing "FEED MEEE" Unfortunately, this movie received a lower rating because: 1)Bad acting from the Aussie cop, 2)Deidre was a bit of an annoyance, and 3)I felt almost nothing for the characters. Well, maybe the cop's GF. I woulda bitch slap that man after what he did to her. It was hard to approve or disapprove this movie. Its one of those that you have to watch and judge for yourself. However, if the sight of very large women being fed with a tube down their throats disturbing, this might not be the movie for you.

I love you Alex, but while this movie is watchable, is not a keeper for me.

Cheers

The Cloth (2013)

Ugh, bad bad bad!

[3/10 · 26 April 2013]

Wowza, there aren't enough words to describe this mess of a movie, but i'll give it a try: stink, bomb, horrid, deplorable, terrible.....

OK, admittedly I did read a couple of the reviews, but I always like forming my own opinion, and the fact that Danny Trejo was in it, made me want to watch it. First mistake was that Danny was barely in it for 5 mins, much to my huge disappointment, but hey Eric Roberts was in it too. Yep, he got even less air time than Danny. That was pretty much it for the actors that made me want to watch it.

Now on to the good/bad stuff. The movie was bad. Not even campy bad like Evil Dead (which I absolutely love!), but BAD. The acting was horrible, the direction, cinematography and music didn't match, and the characters were forgettable and even in some cases annoying (aka, the lead character). I just couldn't connect with their story lines. Why didn't I just stop watching it? A movie has to be beyond bad for me to stop watching it, that's just how I am. I have to watch to the end to see if it gets any better.

Overall assessment: 3/10. The 3 stars just because of Danny and Eric... Watch and form your own opinion, but it was a wasted 1 1/2hr.

Cheers

Valhalla Rising (2009)

Half confused, half awed

[6/10 · 4 April 2013]

On a whim I decided I wanted to try "Valhalla Rising". It looked like my type of movie.... you know, action, violence, that kind of thing. I couldn't have been so far from the truth. Yes, violence was there, more towards the beginning, and dry, hardly any fanfare at all. But, as the movie progressed it became... how to put it... simple yet complex, and artistic and rough (bright use of red/blue vs the lifeless colour).

So on to the movie. There was very little dialogue throughout the film, the actors relying more on body language, the dead-pan stares, the lift and tweaks of eyebrows and mustaches/beards. I was with it so far. Not my type, but actually enjoying it. Then we entered 2/3 way and I entered my "WTH" moment. I swear the wine (at least i think it was wine) they consumed was tainted. Yea, you have to watch that part to understand what I mean. Then the movie races (if turtles race) towards the end. Didn't like the ending. Nope.

On a whole, the movie was so so, with much of my rating going to the cinematography, the score, and Mads Mikkelson whom I think was good as "One Eye". I just didn't quite get it...

Cheers

Wonder Woman (2011 TV Movie)

Hahaa. I know you people playing with me!!

[3/10 · 23 February 2013]

Hahhahahaaa. Aii sah. I'm here watching this "unaired pilot" and alternately laughing and shaking my head in despair. Seriously though. They just made this episode in jest right? Kind of like an almost spoof? No? Really? Hmm...

OK, so as i'm watching i'm thinking "ok, the beginning isn't so bad. What's with all the negative comments??" Then Wonder Woman whips out her lasso and nooses the guy. Yep, laughing off my head here. Then, about halfway you get struck by the not too great dialogue. (Yea I know, but it only got worse around here) But I can deal with that. I've watched worse.

Now we come to the 3/4 mark of this 41 min pilot. Cool, fight scene!! Wait a sec!! Are all those WIRES on the actors to make them fly and leap high?? Really?? And here comes more lasso action. And i'm serious, the phrase that keeps coming into my mind is Mortal Kombat's Scorpion saying "Get Over Here!!" When it finally ends i'm left thinking how sad and lonely Wonder Woman's life is. Very sad.

The problem is that this show had some good actors and could have gone so much further if not for the poor script and the horrific display of the wires. However, I will concede that the show wasn't all that bad and this was largely due to our evil villianess, Ms Elizabeth Hurley who, in my opinion was the actual star of the show. She delivered the dialogue, the looks, and the evil empire leader very well. You almost wanted her to win.

Ultimately, if you were a fan of the original series (Yes, Lynda Carter), this ep will disappoint you. If you had no clue of the original, it will erk you a bit. If you want to watch it and form your own opinion I say go for it, that's what I did....

Cheers all!

The Following (2013–2015)

Freaking Awesome!!

[7/10 · 30 January 2013]

Just finished watching the first episode of "The Following" and I can say that it has just added me as A FOLLOWER! The show is brilliant, referencing many of Edgar Allan Poe's work. Even better, it is well written and DARK!!!! Kevin Bacon plays his role as our tortured hero with finesse, and James Purefoy.... well, the man is just sheer genius as the charismatic, psychotic serial killer.

I look forward to seeing how the writers of this show will continue to develop the characters, the 'by-the-way' love interests, and the relation between Hardy and his 'handlers' (yep, I think they are mostly there to make sure he doesn't cause trouble).

Congrats and I look forward to many more episodes...

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Bubble bubble, toil and trouble.....

[7/10 · 30 January 2013]

I've always been a fan of the Grimm Fairy Tales being done exactly how they were supposed to be done: dark, foreboding, action packed, not cutsie. As with the others, "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" delivers. The action itself is fast paced, starting from the demise of the very first witch to the destruction of the coven and future witches, an actual thrill a minute. Of course the 3D effects were also great, adding to the overall feel of the movie.

However the downside was that the movie lacked character development. Yes, we saw the real reason why they were left in the woods. And it did sort of explain their "hidden assets" which made them good hunters, but I actually found myself rooting for Muriel (head witch played by the Famke Janssen) half of the time. But then again that could be my warped mind...

In the end I gave this movie a 7/10. I'd watch it again, just not in the theater again.

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)

Couldn't stop laughing!

[8/10 · 3 January 2013]

Seriously! This has got to be the funniest zombie movie EVER MADE!!! It even beats "Shaun of the Dead" (sorry Simon Pegg).

I absolutely love the cockney accent, which is one of the reasons I liked this movie. And the best part?? Old folks with sub-machine guns, semi automatics, and hand guns!! Hahahhaaa! Alan Ford was fantastic as always playing the military grand dad, spurting expletives and machismo. I think my favorite scene was Alan being surrounded by zombies at the end and then taking them out, very reminiscent of Rambo (Stallone) and John Matrix (Schwarzenegger).

All in all I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Action and fun yes, history no

[7/10 · 20 December 2012]

So I just finished watching this movie and I have to say that I liked it! No, its wasn't the visual, factual Abe Lincoln, but who cares! Alright, I guess if you are a history buff and WANT actual events, then you are better off watching "Lincoln" which I heard was pretty good as well.

So, based on events when he was a child, Abe becomes a vampire hunter and a pretty darn good one a that and, based on past friendships, he becomes the man we all know and love today (equality makes anyone a friend in my book). Rufus Sewell plays the villain well (love him in most of his roles since Dark City) and Benjamin Walker wasn't bad (loved the ax-welding bit!) either. Supporting cast also did a good job.

On a whole the movie was good as long as you like action, Rufus, and vampires (raises hand right here :D), not so much if you like history (drops hand).

Cheers!!

Madea's Witness Protection (2012)

Yep, That's Tyler!!

[6/10 · 6 July 2012]

I went and saw this last night with family and friends and really enjoyed myself. Yes, I can hear everyone moaning about "Its the same crap over and over again", which I agree is kinda true, and honestly, if you don't like the Madea movies, you might not like this one either, even though I do think this was one of the better ones (never did like "Madea goes to Jail").

Yes, Medea can get pretty tiring, after all, how many times can you see a 6ft+ man in drag? I know I had gotten tired of it pretty fast with "Big Momma's House". But there is just something about Madea that screams "homicidal maniac" and its hilarious watching "her" trying to stop from bitch slapping these people. As for the movie itself, some of the dialogue was a bit infantile and some of the acting a bit over the top (and under in some cases), but I came to watch a funny movie and not an intellectual one, so I let those slide.

As for Tyler Perry, I love most of his movies. See, I didn't saw I loved them all, cause I do agree that a lot of his story lines are becoming very similar and almost one-dimensional (although I did enjoy the last one "Good Deeds" very much).

Keep rocking Tyler!!

The Phantom (2009)

Not a bad show

[7/10 · 18 June 2012]

I saw this on SyFy today and though to myself, "I LIKE IT!!". Set in a more modern day time than Billy Zane's Phantom (1996), this miniseries looks at the newest Kit Walker and how he came to be the new Phantom. I found the movie on a whole entertaining, and did I mention I love parkour! The characters, while not completely developed, were likable enough for me want to continue watching. Yes, its not the typical Phantom movies and comics, but times do change. We are in a new century, new technologies, and hence a new Phantom. I like how it was all incorporated. I have a penchant for liking the old storyline comics with a modern time twist.