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Reviews
Pumpkins (2018)
So bad it's GREAT!
Halloween it isn't ! It shows how bad the acting was when the pumpkins at the start of the film were the best actors in it! Seriously it was like watching a third rate school play...you know the ones where the cast sound like they're reading their lines from a book with half the pages are missing.
And as for the "scary" scenes...well without giving too much away, let's just say I've seen more frightening
pumpkins in my fridge. And they're the ones that haven't yet been carved into scary faces! The bad guy was no Michael Myers...or even Mrs Myers..but all in all it was so bad, it was actually great!
Riverdale: Chapter Fifty-One: Big Fun (2019)
I'm hanging on by my fingernails
This is the worst episode of a fading series. It started off as a great teen programme...it even rivalled the absolutely superb Pretty Little Liars.
But then it started to lose its way and this episode was the absolute nadir! I hope it picks up from now or I'll reluctantly have to give up this show once and for all.
But back to this episode...musicals and Riverdale just don't go together. It's not Glee, it's not Fame, they should stick to what made it good.:Mysteries, murders and teenage angst.
Instead an Over complicated script , cartoonish characters and silly kids bursting into song at every opportunity is all it had!
Cracker: One Day a Lemming Will Fly: Part 2 (1993)
Disappointing ending
Great episode but without giving anything away I'll just say the ending dropped an otherwise perfect programme from a 10 to a still impressive 8.
The acting as is usual in Cracker was excellent, and there was dark humour interspersed with dramatic and explosive action. Still...a very, very watchable episode.
Families: Episode #1.1 (1990)
Great Start
A great start to what was a very entertaining drama. It was cancelled well before it's time and if it had continued in its latter format, I'm sure it would have been a worthy rival to the other British soaps.
The Hunt (2020)
Betty and Hilary...WOW!
Watching Betty Gilpin and Hilary Swank fighting it out at the end was wondrous to behold. Two beauties like that being so physical with eachother was the highlight of what was a great film.
Superb movie...I loved it!
Coronation Street (1960)
Sad decline
I once rated this legendary soap as the best drama series ever made! It had everything...great characters, superb storylines, lots of laughs intermingled with some hard hitting and serious plots. A wonderful programme, it was peerless, no other series came close. It was quite easily a 10/10.
Then the slow decline started from the late 90s. It remained a good show though, despite losing its unequalled dominance...but the rot set in deeper and deeper until it is now just another British soap that is using murder and mayhem to shock us into watching. Gone is the comedy that set it apart from other soaps. Gone are most of the legendary characters. Gone is the superb acting where just a raise of the eyebrows told us all we needed to know. It has been replaced with shouty, unpleasant characters, serial killings galore, forced and unfunny "comedy" lines and unbelievable nonsensical plots.
They maintain some decent performances with a few of the characters from the old days still there flying the flag for this iconic show. But I dread what the show will become when the very last one of them finally leaves. With regret, it will probably die a natural death and be removed from our screens.
That would be a sad day indeed.
Home and Away (1988)
Still consistently good!
This show is still as good as it ever was. I'm from the UK and started watching it as a kid in the late 80s. I enjoyed it then and I enjoy it now. Yes like all long running dramas it will go through periods of poor storylines just as it goes through periods of superb storylines, but more often than not it is good, entertaining family viewing.
And all that sunshine and all those healthy and fit looking people alongside the excellent main characters is worth an extra mark.
Good show and long may it continue!
The Teacher (2022)
Strong start, weak finish!
A very good start to this series...well acted I thought, strong storyline, some interesting characters. It was well on its way to being a 9/10 for me.
Then episode 3 and 4 sort of meandered to an anti climactic end...a bit like a marathon runner who starts well but is gasping for breath at the end.
But on the positive side...I enjoyed Sheridan Smith. Yes she appears on practically everything these days but I take each performance on it's individual merit. She was obviously playing the part of a flirtatious and obviously sexy teacher, probably to influence us viewers into thinking she was a likely sexual predator. I won't spoil it by revealing whether she was or not, but Sheridan played the part well. I thought they could have explored her relationship with the Kelvin Fletcher character a bit more and u was also underwhelmed by a couple of the other teachers...her enemy and her friend.
But taking everything into consideration, it was a solid 6/10 for me. It would have been better if the last two episodes matched the first two.
The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp: The Big Baby Contest (1955)
Solid but not up to usual standard
I gave this episode a 7 when my average for this series is a hefty 8.5. Not too many dramatic moments but the superb Doc Fabrique's comedic presence carried the episode.
Incidentally the actor that played Doc Fabrique was only 48, but the Doc looked at least 70! Either good make up or a hard life?
The Force on Thunder Mountain (1978)
Absolute rubbish
This film was terrible. The acting was shocking, the dialogue nonsensical, the picture quality poor. It looked and felt like an old home movie on a cheap camera, shot by an old uncle who had too much to drink.
Poor poor poor!
Reborn (2018)
Decent but nothing special
A "Carrie meets Frankenstein" movie, which though a decent watch, was spoiled for me by the film trying to pass 60 year old Barbara Compton off as a 35 year old! Yes...Barbara is still a beautiful woman and looks great, but playing a 35 year old was a mission too far...and this put the film on the back foot right from the start for me.
Revenge (2011)
I love Emily!
An absolutely brilliant series with a stunning, tough, strong, intelligent, strategic, but also vulnerable and damaged heroine...the wonderful Emily Thorne. She takes us viewers on a rollercoaster ride of emotions as she seeks the ultimate REVENGE for...oh just in case you haven't watched it, I'll stop now. And if you haven't watched it...WATCH IT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! It really is a superb series.
The Shouting Men (2010)
A Carry On film without the Carry On!
Started well for about 10 minutes, then It disintegrated into unfunny caricatures, sloppy dialogue and endless inane chatter. The best thing I can say about this film is it was boring...and the character of Terry was the most boring of the lot. I hope the guys behind it don't ever try their hand at movie making again, but if they do they should stick to home movies and keep it exclusively for their families eyes!
Are We There Yet? (2010)
Best ever comedy show!
This series is the best comedy series I have ever seen! Jokes are on point, the characters so do funny! It is without the doubt the greatest programme ever written! Watch it and see for yourself!
Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)
So many hot women!
First of all this film gets a 5 straight off the bat for having so many gorgeous girls in it. Yancy Butler, Elizabeth Rohm pluse a whole heap of nubile stunners, some from the UK who obviously weren't chosen for their acting abilities. Then I add a 2 for the superb Robert Englund who...along with the giant monster crocs and the wonderful Yancy... steals the show.
Oh and then a 1 for the actual plot which was a basic monster flick with nothing surprising.
All in all it's a good watch if it's raining outside and there's nothing else to do.
Even if the plot bores you, the amount of eye candy on show and Yancy and Freddie elevates this film from mundane to watchable!
The Toybox (2018)
Not the worst film ever...but close!
This has all the makings of a great film. Spooky goings on, gorgeous women, and a big huge RV.
But it's bad, really bad! Terrible acting and characters you just don't care about! It's not quite Sharknado...but it's close!
Quincy M.E.: The Shadow of Death (1982)
The preachiness continues
I always find that Quincy is better when it is a crime fighting episode. Unfortunately there are also many many episodes where our hero gets caught up in a "noble" cause, and the episode becomes preachy and judgy. I find them boring, but it's almost sacrilegious to admit it because of the nobility of the cause.
This was one of those episodes...excellent cause, yes. But not enough exciting, seat of the pants dramatic crime fighting for my liking.
The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Dying Detective (1994)
Simple but brilliant Holmes!
A fantastic piece of deception by Holmes. We students of the mighty Sherlock Holmes guessed what he was up to when he lured that evil man into his trap and it was a less convulated episode than most of the others. But it was its simplicity that made it brilliant!
The Sweeney: Stay Lucky Eh? (1975)
Robbers robbed!
Great episode of a great series. It was great to see villains being given some of their own medicine! I'll leave it there but what a great episode
The Bay (2019)
Slow and steady
I found it lacking in oomph and it was rather slow and steady.
Also quite unrealistic regarding the lead character played by Morven Christie. Why on earth would an experienced and by all accounts excellent detective not excuse herself from a case after finding out she had a one night stand with a married suspect?? It's not as though she committed a crime! She...as a single woman on a night out...had sex! Big deal, so what! She acted as though she had broken the law and her covering up of this non existent offence set the standard for the series.
Below average drama. ITV can do...and have done...much better!
Edit:
Second series was much better. More dramatic and more exciting. Very good second series, loved it!
The Jewel in the Crown (1984)
Judy Parfitt...WOW
My favourite memory is of the then middle aged Judy Parfitt noisily and enthusiastically enjoying the, er, amorous attentions of a younger man!
Apart from that, it was a great series!
Columbo (1971)
Iconic, legendary, peerless!
A masterpiece of razor sharp detective brilliance hidden in an unkempt, absent minded workaday detective.
We the viewers know who committed the murders at the start, so it isn't a Whodunnit...rather it's a howhecatchesem. And it's this where the brilliance of the series lay.
Columbo harasses, hounds, irritates and apparently bumbles his way through the programmes but it's always the jugular of the killer he is going for.
The fact that the killers are often middle or upper class masters of their craft, rich and powerful people, makes our low paid, dishevelled cop's opposition to them all the more watchable. Seeing him dismantle their lies and fabrications but by bit I'd a joy to watch.
Fantastic series! Fantastic hero. Fantastic Lieutenant Columbo
The A-Team (1983)
loads of fighting and gunfire. But nobody dies!
Fantastic fun series! Not quite a comedy drama but still, very funny at times.
Three ex army soldiers of fortune on the run from the military police for a crime they didn't commit are joined by their crazy friend...together they are The A Team..., to help out ordinary folk who are being bullied, conned, evicted or harassed by big, bad rich evil doers.
Each one of them have their gifts...Hannibal the leader is the brains. BA Baracus the brawn. Face the charm and Mad Murdoch the unpredictable one. Together they deal with the bad guys with great skill and aplomb. And they never kill anybody despite beating their enemies to a pulp more often than not.
A great series...loadsa fun mixed with some good touches of pathos
The Facility (2012)
Dreadful film!
An absolute dirge of a film! Slow moving, no thrills, no shocks, no terror, no point!
A sheer waste of my time and I will never ever get the near two hours I wasted on it, back again.
Possibly the worst "horror" film I have ever seen.
EastEnders (1985)
Pretty good but nothing special
Eastenders has gone from a "must see" to a "not bothered if I see it" programme.
It's got so-so characters with some so-so storylines, punctuated occasionally with some hard hitting plots and great acting. However the highs are few and far between.
But Eastenders plods on solidly like a trusty old car, it gets where it's going, and I think it will keep going for a long time yet.