JackUK1973 Reviews

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

Good fun

[9/10 · 13 August 2023]

The first two movies were part of my childhood, and it's safe to assume my positive feedback for this film is, at least in part, nostalgia for the original films.

You could also have forgiven anyone involved in the original franchise to have turned their back on Ghostbusters after the 2016 abomination, but thank God they didn't.

The film picks up from the first film, with a return for Gozer the Gozarien, and follows more or less the same plot, and includes many of the same characters.

One change is that most of the main characters are teenagers, rather than adults, but they were cast well, so it was all good.

The film was a solid seven, until the last 15 minutes which bumped it up to a nine. Those extra two marks are nostalgia right there. Already looking forward to the next one in 2024.

Sisu (2022)

Simultaneously brilliant and bonkers

[8/10 · 12 August 2023]

I say that, but really there's nothing about this movie that isn't completely bonkers. Koschei, has apparently killed over 300 Russians, and is impervious to gunfire, being doused in petrol and set on fire, and hanging.

"Do you really believe he's immortal" "No, he just refuses to die"

He possesses super human strength, survives copious blood loss, and beatings, but continues to fight his way out of every situation. He even survives a plane crash. The character, and film, defies all reality.

And yet. The film works, much like 300, disbelief can be suspended for the pure artistry of what has been created.

If you're looking for a realistic war film, you've come to the wrong place my friend. But if you want 90 minutes of pure, ultra violent deftness, welcome aboard!!

Tin & Tina (2023)

Worst I've seen in a long time

[1/10 · 27 May 2023]

Generally you expect the majority of horror films, which I assume this is, to be rubbish, but this is several levels worse than most. It really is a testament to how poor Netflix has become.

As an example, in one scene Tina says she can help her brother, Tin, see God, but the mother must stay seated while it happens. Tina does this by putting a bag over her brother's head, so he begins to suffocate. The mother rises to stop it but sits back down again when Tina tells her to. Would any sensible adult seriously sit there passively watching a child suffocate? The bag comes off, then they all throw jam around the kitchen laughing.

Absolutely bizarre!

Grace (I) (2014)

Poor

[1/10 · 21 August 2021]

Unoriginal script, there's not one scene that you won't have seen elsewhere, probably executed better.

The acting was passable at best. Most of the characters were a cliche, so maybe the actors were constrained with what they had to work with, or maybe they just weren't great actors.

What sets this movie apart is that it's almost all filmed in the first person of Grace. That didn't work for me, especially scenes filmed while Grace was looking in the mirror. It just felt messy and disjointed.

Overall slow, predictable, and tedious. Even if you particularly like horror, there are literally hundreds of films you could watch which are better than this. Makes you wonder which film those that gave it 10 we're watching. I'm sure those reviewers were definitely not part of the film makers, production, or other crew 🙄

Whiplash (2014)

Unpleasant

[3/10 · 10 August 2021]

I'm failing to understand the appeal of this movie.

It seems to have very little basis in reality. Tutors who throw chairs at students tend not to have long careers.

There were really only two characters in the film, the other characters seemed only to exist to highlight how thoroughly unpleasant Andrew is.

Ending was ridiculous. Tutor sacked from his job, because of Andrew seeks to humiliate him in front of people who are equally so unpleasant that apparently they only give musicians one chance to shine.

Maybe I'm being naive, but I found the movie unbelievable, the characters one dimensional, and everyone thoroughly detestable.

Save an hour and a half of your life and read a good book instead.

Blood Red Sky (2021)

Intense

[9/10 · 24 July 2021]

There are plenty of plot holes in this film, people (or zombies) who you are led to think have died but haven't, some poor decisions made by characters, and so on.

But what sets this film apart from the run of the mill is;

• once it gets going, it's relentless, other than the brief breaks provided by the flashbacks and;

• the main character is well played throughout.

Like others, I agree the first half is better, and the second half does degenerate into your standard cliches, but overall I'm glad I watched it.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

The audience don't laugh

[2/10 · 20 June 2021]

Save two hours of your life and do anything else at all. You have been warned.

It (I) (2017)

Pale imitation of the book

[2/10 · 16 November 2019]

The book has a great paragraph;

'Maybe, he thought, there aren't any such things as good or bad friends - maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you're hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they're always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.'

So many scenes missing, so many great moments missing, but most importantly the love between the kids just wasn't there.

It's a beautiful book, don't bother with the film and put the time you would have spent watching it into reading it.

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Dreadful

[1/10 · 10 May 2019]

Poor and lazy writing, and poor acting dog this film throughout.

To be fair that's not unique to this film, but this is a particularly bad example of a horror film.

As is often the case these days, the film is littered with poor and odd decision making, like going to the woods to try and find the Slender Man, wouldn't you take some adults?

And where exactly are the parents? Aside from a couple of cameo appearances they didn't seem to be involved in their kids lives at all.

The acting was probably the worst part though. I don't know where they found these young ladies but it wasn't Rada.

I paused the film part way through thinking it must be nearly finished and there was still 36 minutes left. I've never experienced time drag so slowly.

Overall there are a million other films that are better, avoid!!

Braveheart (1995)

'This is Sparta!'

[7/10 · 21 October 2018]

Well almost; the story which has no basis in reality, armies winning battles when hopelessly outnumbered, terrible terrible accents that are barely from the same planet let along the right region - this film is clearly one of the inspirations for '300'.

This is my first viewing of the film, 23 years after its release. I'm pleased to say that I hadn't missed much.

On the plus side, the cinematography and soundtrack were both beautiful.

The rest was average at best. Presumably when Mel cast himself in the lead as a heroic, principled, freedom fighter he thought that only he would have the prowess and credibility to pull it off. Clearly Mel's ego is as vast as some of the panoramic shots in the film.

The characters were all old school, the wicked king with his weak and childish son. The freedom fighter hero, who is inspired to fight by his beautiful dead wife, murdered by one of the men employed by the wicked king. The traitor who ultimately repents and finds redemption, and various other cliches live within this film. To be fair, these character types are classic for a reason.

Despite my cynicism, I did generally enjoy the film, although now I've seen it I doubt i'll be rushing back for a second viewing.

If you like the idea of Mel being the consummate hero freedom fighter then give it a whirl, if you find that tiresome then there are thousands of better films out there...

Arrival (II) (2016)

Marmite

[8/10 · 16 September 2017]

Such a hard film to review, just browsing the other reviews you'll get a sense that people either love this film rating it 10, or hate it rating it 1.

I watched the film with no idea of the context, background, or previous reviews. I was looking for a good Sci Fi film and this one popped up.

I think it fair to say that if you're looking for a Star Trek, Starship Troopers, Aliens or other classic Sci Fi film then you'll be disappointed. There is virtually no action in the film, predicated as it is on one persons attempt to communicate with a new alien race. The film could equally have been based on a linguist communicating with ghosts or people beyond the grave, it wouldn't have made a great deal of difference.

Many of the other reviews talk of large plot holes, ridiculous circumstances, or complete absurdity and it's hard to argue with that.

And yet. And yet in it's way, despite everything, it's a beautiful thought provoking film in the way it deals with time, life, death, emotions, human response and so much more. The film is nearly two hours long, and the pace is slow, but I wasn't bored. I didn't feel that it was dragging, and I wasn't tempted even for a second to give up or fast forward.

In summary, if you're looking for a Sci Fi film then probably avoid. If you're looking for two hours of pure emotion and self inspection then without question watch this.

Dark Was the Night (2014)

better than expected

[8/10 · 13 March 2016]

When you watch a lot of low budget horror you automatically lower your expectations (watching 'panic button' while writing this, and that is truly dreadful!), however I found Dark is the Night to be one of the better films I've seen recently.

There's nothing new in the concept; a remote American town, monster in the woods, people and animals disappearing - in some cases without trace.

The suspense and characters build nicely through the film, with odd glimpses of the monster as we go. Kevin Durand was especially good, but all the actors did a great job.

The film could be better again if two things could have been addressed; firstly it's ridiculous that the monster kills pretty much whatever is in it's sights however on the more than one occasion that it encounters the sheriff and/or his deputy it runs away - especially bizarre in the scene where the sheriff stops for the dead deer in the middle of the night when he could easily have been killed.

And secondly, as others have mentioned, the ending where the creature is revealed which was so bad it almost reminded me of Ray Harryhausen style stop-motion effects.

If you can get past those two things though, it's a good watch (unlike this awful Panic Button film)

13 Eerie (2013)

Average

[5/10 · 31 August 2015]

This film is decidedly average. It has all the usual horror clichés. A group of kids in a remote area (in this case an island), some ridiculous decision making (I think there's something dangerous out there so I'll wander through the woods shouting "hello"), and various other stupid decisions, people who think they have escaped the zombies only to turn around and be eaten by one. A bus that for some reason doesn't start, then does, then doesn't. A gun that runs out of bullets just at the wrong time....and so the list goes on.

The zombies were interesting, not your Walking Dead shufflers but some of them would give Usain Bolt a good workout. While that may not be your traditional zombie, and probably totally unrealistic, it made them more scary for me. I've often thought the answer to most zombie movies should be just to run away.

I've seen some slating on these reviews about the affects but personally I thought they were quite effective, reminded me a little bit of the Orcs in Lord of the Rings, although not so well finished.

Overall, 5 out of 10, C+, shows promise but could do better.

The Maze Runner (2014)

Predictable

[5/10 · 15 August 2015]

If I had just one word to sum this up I would say predictable - but I have 10 lines to complete so I'll try and stretch that out a little.

The plot is fairly straight forward, once a month a new adolescent boy gets delivered to a glade surrounded by very high concrete walls that form a maze. The maze opens every day and 'runners' go in to the maze. They must return by nightfall when the maze closes - nobody who has spent the night in the maze has ever returned on account of the 'grievers' (wooooooohhhhh!). None of the boys knows why they are there or have any previous memories other than their name which they remember after a couple of days. And then Thomas arrives.......

The next hour and a half follow the exploits of Thomas and the boys who choose to band with him in their efforts to escape the maze. As you would expect things happen to Thomas with accelerated timing, there are dissenters among the other boys. Things happen (ie Ben attacking Thomas) just in an effort it seems that some other boys can explain things that happen where they are. The dissenters gang up on Thomas because he challenges the status quo, some people die some in heroic ways, there's a last minute attempt by leader of the dissenters to kill Thomas. A character dies, the boys move on to the sequel. And now you're up to date.

I mean, it was OK, effects were quite good, plot was a bit weak, I appreciated not having to think too much for the duration of the film, and life goes on...........

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Awful

[1/10 · 9 August 2015]

So two hours in to this film and I have absolutely no idea what is going on.

Directed by Shatner, this is a colossal vanity project where Shatner gets to be the key person in every scene.

Plot holes and effects are beyond awful, starting with Spock hovering hundreds of feet up a mountain that Kirk is 'free climbing' - with Shatner's physique I find that highly dubious, and then Spock racing to the ground when Kirk falls and saving Kirk by a few inches. Then the reverse later in the film as Spock dons the hover boots again to go up an elevator shaft with Kirk and McCoy apparently holding on but when hovering at the top Spock doesn't seem to be carrying their weight at all.

Ulhura doing a fan dance - bleargh!!!

The 'acting', 'singing', 'jokes', all horrible. It kinda feels like a Bond movie from a similar time where the 'writers' felt the need to take what was a successful formula and then make it all things to all men. Well hey, it was the late 80's, everyone was making money and having fun so why not try and make this movie fun too.

Oh wait, as I write this Spock is now 'witnessing his birth' - what did I miss? how did we get to this scene? and why?

I'm off for a lie down......

The Anomaly (2014)

Predictable ego project

[3/10 · 25 April 2015]

Noel Clarke thinks he's Will Smith, turns out he isn't.

This is a poor, predictable, sci-fi romp which appears to be an excuse for Noel to be the tough but sensitive guy at every opportunity. All the major plot lines are here; convenient snippets of information learned by the 'hero' through the film, dead wife (for no apparent reason), acts a tough guy while on a mission to save a child, the only woman to appear more than once falls in love with him, last minute twist, it just goes on and on, and on.......*yawn*

You can't help but think that Noel had to direct the film too because no-one but Noel could make Noel such a hero.

The Great Gatsby (2013)

Good film

[9/10 · 18 April 2015]

Really enjoyed this film.

It follows the plot of the book relatively faithfully. Visually it's a lovely film, well acted (even Toby McGuire seems well suited to his role).

Some of the scenes are a little cartoonish, but I thought that added to the film. The music was brilliant, well chosen, and modern which worked really well even though the film is based in the 20s. I thought there could have been more of the party scenes just for their own visual pleasure.

Overall, I would definitely recommend.

Treehouse (2014)

Worst....movie.....ever!

[1/10 · 18 April 2015]

Dreadful, dreadful, awful, sinful movie. For the duration of this film you will wish that you were actually one of the victims in it, rather than sat watching it as at least their suffering came to an end sooner than the 96 minutes of the film.

It wasn't so much that the acting was SO bad (although it was), or that the characters were so one dimensional (one dimension feels like a luxury), but that the plot made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Most of the holes have been covered off in other reviews so no need to repeat them.

While on the subject of reviews, I noted that the first three reviewers of this film all felt that *this* film, above all others, was so noteworthy and inspirational to review it positively and haven't reviewed any films before or since. Although I'm sure none are involved with the film, the production company, or the distributor.....