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Reviews
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
Kang Can't Quite Conquer Average Film
First of all - Jonathan Majors as Kang is gold.
I loved every second he was on screen. Both the actor and the character itself were amazing in my opinion.
Outside of that... I didn't enjoy it much.
It's never good when I find myself looking at my watch during a movie at a theater. None of the jokes landed with me at all, I didn't laugh at a single thing throughout the film even though it was evident they tried to get some laughs.
Paul Rudd was okay, but at times felt like he was phoning it in. Pfiefer's character was the most unnecessarily likable thing in the whole film too. "I know all this bad stuff about the multiverse but I'll tell you later" became her mantra in this film. Did they NOT have enough time for her to give a condensed version while wandering through the CGI world?
I know I'm getting a little burned out on the amount of Marvel films and shows, and that might sway my opinion a little, but this film absolutely failed to reach my expectations for the true start of Kang the Conqueror. And while Majors did an amazing job, and Kang is now a character I look forward to seeing more of in the coming films, this entry failed to impress me the way I thought it would.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008)
Why'd it Take Me So Long to Find This?!
I can't believe it took me 4 years to come across this. This was such a fun ride. Catchy songs, great humor, a compact but compelling story. This is just great.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008)
Why'd it Take Me So Long to Find This?!
I can't believe it took me 4 years to come across this. This was such a fun ride. Catchy songs, great humor, a compact but compelling story. This is just great.
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
Fresh Perspective
Originally when this released, I was all in. I've been an X-Men fan since as long as I can remember. But watching it again in 2022 my perspective is more rational. It's not bad, but there are so many holes in it. Particular things that bothered me is how Magneto can be destroying everything and adding to magnetic fields, yet the X-Men's jet is flying just fine around the mess.
Apocalypse is at least portrayed as an apocalyptic level enemy. The four horseman choices were good, but not executed well enough. Archangel the worst of them for what he could have been. Psylocke was alright, and the casting for Storm remains one of the best choices I think they've made for any X-Men casting of all the movies (let's be honest, as great as Hugh Jackman is as Wolverine I don't think any of us saw him as the right fit in the very beginning. He literally took that role and made it fit him).
They simply got too messy with the destruction, and not strong enough in the story and character building. It could have been better, but it's still a fun watch.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
Better Than I Expected
I don't know why this entry gets the most dislike of the "young" team films. I waited an awful long time to finally watch it myself, and yes there's things about it that could be better, but there's a lot about it I liked.
I liked this portrayal of the Phoenix better than the original trilogy take on it. Though the aliens were sort of a weak antagonist to insert. I greatly appreciate - above all else - this film diving deeper into the controversy of Professor Xavier.
My favorite thing about the X-Men when I was growing up, is just how much of it fell into shades of gray. And even as an adult. Xavier has good intentions but he's a man who can force his will on anyone. Eric is a man who's methods are questionable but he tends to want similar end goals. I've seen in comics Cyclops go from the biggest Boy Scout of all time to becoming someone on par with Magneto as a villain while Wolverine became the ideal "good guy." X-Men has always felt more fluid than most comics in regards to right and wrong, good and bad, and the different perspectives surrounding those concepts. And this film tackling the way Xavier's good intentions can lead to less than desirable methods, and whether or not a man like him should be able to make the calls he makes, was a nice change of pace as opposed to the simplistic "this side good, that side bad."
At the end of the day, with all X-Men films considered as a whole, they all could have been done so much better. Especially if anyone could have foreseen the scale comic films would have reached when X-Men first released. I won't judge any of them overly harshly as they've truly tried to make their entirety of their film franchise work together with time travel and alternate timelines, and tried to explore those gray areas where good and evil aren't so cut and dry.
The instrumental soundtrack to this is pretty killer too.
Ink Master (2012)
Cringeworthy
The manufactured reality show drama stuff is so overboard it's insane. It portrays the competitors in such a way that I'd never actually give any of them my business.
The Maury Povich Show (1991)
Anyone Remember the Show BEFORE it Became a Springer Clone?
I do. It used to be decent. Then it tried to be Springer for ratings and threw any decency it had in the trash. Can't believe it's somehow still running despite that.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Atrocious Disgrace
The first Space Jam was corny and goofy, but it had its own unique charm and a simple yet acceptable plot that made the involvement of Jordan and other NBA players make sense as much as a cartoon basketball game movie could.
This however is straight trash. It feels like one part feeding Lebrons ego, one part nonsensical abysmal story, and ten parts promotional work for everything WB owns.
The plot involving a computer algorithm as the main antagonist that somehow sucks LeBron and his kid into a server and then forced them to play the sons video game creation is the most half baked idea I ever heard. The acting by almost everyone involved is the furthest thing from believable possible. The whole thing is a lot of cgi flashy nonsense and nothing of real substance. This is just an embarrassment through and through.
Little Nicky (2000)
Whole Lot of Nope
I watched this once when it was new.
I wasn't impressed.
I just watched it again in 2021.
It's still really bad.
Aside from a FEW chuckles here and there it's mostly absurd and not funny. And it's even less funny in today's time than when it was released. Doesn't age well. Isn't fun.
The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
Not Bad, But Misleading
Sure there were some jump scares here and there. Sure there were some creepy vibes here and there.
But this wasn't what I was expecting it to be all said and done. Not that it was bad, but I was hoping for something less convoluted and a bit more on the scary side.
At times the story was SO confusing I could hardly keep up. Then when things did start to make sense it just sort of turned into a love story instead of a ghost story, which it even admits as such.
Acting was overall good, parts of this really intrigued me, but the overall product was a disappointment.
The Open House (2018)
What in the...
This was just a whole lot of pointless uninteresting events that led to...
Freaks (2018)
Simple
Have you ever read X-Men? This was essentially X-Men. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't original by any stretch. People with special abilities being hunted by the government and caged up and killed because of their genetics. Yep, that sounds about like the X-Men comics.
Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020)
Honest Opinion on the Remake of the Game that Made Me a Gamer
First and foremost, in 1997 little old thirteen years old me played Final Fantasy VII at a friend's house and was hooked. In an era where Google wasn't something you could use to look things up, I learned every bit of the game and how to accomplish everything. I've played it through countless times, so my opinion at least should hold some weight on this.
Remake is, visually, what I always wished it could have been in the 90s but never believed gaming would ever get to. The gameplay mechanics in battles felt very smooth, and even the slowdown when navigating the battle menu for spells or uncontrolled party members didn't break up the intensity of those fights. That said, some of the battles seemed to throw unneccessary challenge too often, one enemy in particular drove me nuts by not only flying all over the screen, but also being immune to physical attacks until using magic on it and then vice versa. It's fine but when there's multiples of them freely moving around it can be easy to lose them or get disoriented and it felt too grindy. Even so, the battle mechanics overall felt fantastic throughout the game.
Some areas of the game felt too dragged out though. And not the ones you'd think. The chapters with side quests didn't bother me, even though some of them were hopelessly dull (I'm looking at the cats and tracking down kids ones in particular) but most had charm. No, areas like the train graveyard and Hojo's lab felt terribly long, and not in a fun way. I'm glad they added depth to areas from the original but it was obvious they did those two in particular to shoehorn another boss in at the end of each.
From a narrative perspective this did a phenomenal job of filling in gaps, retelling the story well, adding small hints of taking from the Crisis Core PSP prequel game to further story telling, and adding in things to make some of the original games actions make more sense. Shinra pegging Avalanche as part of a conspiracy with Wutai to gain the people's trust was a good example of expanding on something small to make the story flow better. Seeing Aerith go to get Marlene and showing us how she got her to safety was much better than the originals off screen moment followed by Tseng and Aerith showing up in a chopper minutes after climbing the pillar. The pillar coming down and the characters reactions were more impactful than in the original because you spend time with the people of Sector 7 prior to it.
Then there are the "whispers". That's what I'm not a fan of. The explanation that they're a manifestation of destiny meant to ensure certain events play out a specific way felt like a very cheap way to push characters in a particular direction throughout the story instead of writing more sensible scenarios and was in far more ways a cheap way to give the Midgar portion of the story a more grandiose ending than it needed. To have to basically go into a pocket dimension to fight against destiny and Sephiroth just because you're cutting off the Remake into parts and wanted to show fan service to the originals ending and shoehorn a Sephiroth fight in was jarring because it never felt natural in the narrative (not that it wasn't fun to play because it was).
The additional scenes for Hojo gave him much more substance as a character who in the original (and prequel) was quite important but never felt that way from the little screen time. It's clear in this version that he knows who Cloud truly is, and that addition into this remake helps cement the prequel events as well because Hojo was essentially responsible for Cloud being as he is.
The worst transgression of this title is not allowing us control over Red XIII in the game. I understand their thinking was to not get us attached to using the character when he enters the story so late, electing to hold off on it until the next installment, but for such a fan favorite character to be there and not controllable was still a massive disservice. It's bad enough the scope of this project is so large we have to wait for installments, but in a portion that involves one of the beloved characters why prevent us from using him ourselves even in a limited way? Felt wrong.
Overall, the remake was outstanding, it's clear they want to stay as close to the original as possible in this remake. There are tons and tons of tiny nods to small trivial things of the original that many people will miss. They're clearly doing justice to their prequel story to make everything come together in the remake, even if those nods are small. The characters are far more likable, have a lot more depth, and the combat is a joy. Aside from a few overly long segments, the lack of control of Red, the whispers and destiny, and the unbalanced use of Sephiroth this early into the narrative, the game is amazing and a must play for any fan or anyone wanting to get into it the first time.
However, I still have to only give it a 7 out of 10 for the reasons above. They don't take away from the amazing quality of the game, but they do hurt it at times, and it would be irresponsible for me to blindly give it a 9 or a 10. I highly recommend it regardless.
I do worry about the future installments. If Midgar was this massive, what happens when they let us out into the world... I hope this project is not too ambitious.
Control (2019)
Whoa. Pleasantly Unexpected.
I read reviews on the game and heard about it here and there but like many new IPs I sort of ignored it for awhile in favor of franchises I know better. Finally decided to give it a go and I was blown away by Control.
I did not expect the consistently spooky atmosphere, the intriguing plot, the focus on supernatural items and scenarios.
By far the best part of the game was the Ashtray Maze. Not only was it fun to go through, but the music that plays while running through it was fantastic, breaking up the creepy background sounds you get in the rest of the game with an adrenaline fueled rush through a warped reality.
Also, Dr Darlings Dynamite music video, top notch 🤣
Fun controls, interesting areas, good characters, a story that makes you go through to find out what's going on, and a lot of nice little touches make this a stand out game that I didn't expect to be so much fun.
The Witcher (2019)
Far Exceeded My Expectations
When I first heard Henry Cavill was to play the great Geralt of Rivia, the Butcher of Blaviken, the White Wolf, I was extremely nervous that this adaption to a television series was going to be a massive disappointment. My idea of what Geralt should look and sound like clearly influenced more by the Witcher video games (masterful work in their own right) more than the books, there needed to be a certain look and even voice and demeanor to him that I did not believe Cavill could capture.
And boy did he ever prove me wrong. He is the perfect fit for the role, and I can only imagine he will improve over time.
While I'm not as sold on the actresses playing Cirilla or Yennefer, they aren't bad by any stretch. I enjoy Jaskier/Dandelion, but I do wish he wouldn't overuse his obvious main song about Geralt. I believe many of us are already tired of tossing coins to our Witcher.
As far as the story goes, if you've read the first two books of short stories then watching this makes the asynchronous timeframe of the three stories make a lot more sense, as the show does a pretty good job of adapting those stories (though there are obvious differences, such as Geralt never showing up to the forest and having that run in with Ciri that he did in the books before leaving and reuniting with her again one final time the way they do in the series anyway). I enjoyed seeing Geralts adventures in a way that didn't involve strictly my imagination or the use of a controller, the Strygga (spelling? I never remember that one) and the nekkers in the forest were well done as far as effects go and I look forward to seeing more monsters pop in somewhere somehow.
I look forward to seeing what they do going forward with the series, but so far I am giving this a max rating because as far as I can tell the people behind this show are taking the same level of care with this property that CD Projekt Red did when they made the games, and that translates into the quality of the end product.
The world of the Witcher may not suit everyone, but give it a chance, because there is a reason so many of us love the tales and adventures of Geralt and company, in all it's forms whether it be books, games, or now this series.
Christopher Robin (2018)
A Fantastic Story
This film does a great job of mixing childhood memories and stories with humor, a common adult dilemma of life, and puts it all together fantastically. The characters are funny, the story is well done, McGregor does a fine job as Christopher Robin, and all around it's a delightful film, with a delightful ending.
It's difficult to find any real flaw in this one, seldom do movies that take the adult reuniting their childhood amidst being lost in their work route work as well as this one did.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
An Assessment 30 Years Later
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out when I was in the neighborhood of 5-6 years old (depending on the month) and I loved it as a kid. But, who didn't love the turtles back then?
So watching it today again and again over the years gives different perspectives and now we are about 30 years later and I'm 35 and as I watch this today and having watched countless other Turtles content over the decades I have to say, this not only still stands up to the test of time, it still blows most everything else away Turtles related.
The fact that the turtle costumes in the film still look more realistic than any of the fanciest Michael Bay effects turtles is a testament to how well done the costumes were. The storyline was dark but not too dark, the pacing is maybe a bit slow for kids but decent for adults. Is there an abundance of cheesiness mixed in here? Yea. But not so much so that it's bothersome. And its balanced with the menacing Shredder and the fear inducing scenes he takes control of.
It's a film of giant talking ninja turtles and new York ninjas who steal boomboxes led by a guy wearing knives on his head and shoulders. And yet it's done in a way that's still enjoyable.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
A Bit Too Much Goofiness
I've watched this a few times in the past, and watching it again now I realize overall this entry could have been a lot better if it weren't for the overuse of Jar Jar Binks and similar absurdity, and personally I was never super convinced by Anakin's acting. Those things aside, it's entertaining in the grand scheme of the Star Wars trilogy of trilogies.
Apostle (2018)
What was this trying to do?
I don't understand the high reviews. This seemingly endless film full of too many unimportant plot points was so uninteresting I can't fathom how I got through the entire thing. Did this film know what it wanted to be? Never once did I find myself caring one way or another about the characters. The original point of the guy going to retrieve his sister was a practically pointless plot point for the sake of giving him a reason to go to this island of dumbassery. Characters you think might have some relative importance just die for no real reason. It just never made sense. It felt like half a dozen ideas pushed into a film that never ran with any of them in a meaningful way.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Fantastic Ride
While I hoped for a little more riveting of an ending to it, overall this was a fun ride. The atmosphere was almost constantly creepy, the acting overall was well done and convincing, and it keeps you guessing about what's actually happening the whole time. The last two episodes didn't pack the same punch for me personally as the first 8 did building up to it, but they were still satisfying in their own right and everything ultimately gets tied up in a nice neat ending that still left me scratching my head over a few things. Well written, well executed, and well worth the time to watch.
Spider-Man (2018)
The Best Marvel Game Out There
It plays like a dream, swinging through the city never felt so enjoyable, combat - while clearly taking from the success of the Batman Arkham series - was great. Having virtually all collectible items and events on the map made it actually fun to do, and the story was better than half the movie adaptions. It was amazing to play through, and I intend to go through a second and third time. Play it.
In fondo al bosco (2015)
Surprisingly Intriguing
While the pacing at times felt like a crawl and having the mild but manageable challenge of subtitles which I tend to avoid, this film really did a great job of not being predictable. It kept you guessing as far as what actually happened, who or what was involved, and the ending really throws curveballs at you. I wouldn't say its top notch by any stretch, but I certainly will put it in the above average category. Worth a watch if you happen across it.