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Arcadian (2024)
Great creature design, but that's about it.
I could gush about this creature design. It's the most unique and creepy horror monster I've seen in years. The way it looks like a creepy smiling face when shadowed in darkness, the way it elongates its body unnaturally is so memorable.
Unfortunately, that's all this movie has got going for it. The story and characters are super generic and vague, we come to learn nothing about this world, the characters, or even these creatures by the end of it. And despite the great design, the monsters are very under-powered. It's so easy to kill or capture one of these things its a joke, it doesn't feel like there's any real stakes.
I just can't help but come out of this movie wondering what it was all for. A real waste of potential.
The Watcher (2022)
Waste of Time
First off, this series is way longer than it needs to be. There's so many misdirections that it gets tedious and you can see fake-outs a mile away so I just ended up skipping forward a lot. The production, characters, and story is just mediocre so the only thing that keeps you watching is finding out just who the Watcher is. Which, unfortunately we never actually get to know. I wouldn't be so upset about that fact if the story itself had a solid thematic conclusion. There are many themes of greed, envy, and obsession that get teased but aren't kept consistent or cohesive throughout the story, so the ending just doesn't have that impact. Not worth watching.
BuzzFeed Unsolved: True Crime (2016)
It's buzzfeed
Although the hosts are amusing, the show is poorly researched and its hosts are clearly ignorant of many of the topics they discuss, which is made worse by the condescending Millennial attitude of a person who thinks they're smarter than they actually are. Which is the typical Buzzfeed shtick, so I guess you get what you don't pay for. If you're interested in true crime, it's not for you, but if you just like silly commentary videos you'll like it. Just don't believe anything that's said.
The Great (2020)
Obnoxious!!
Dim-witted, childish, and cynical, this doesn't even count as satire. Not subtle in the least as it practically kicks you in the groin getting its point across: the same exact point everyone in Hollywood is toting about patriarchy, misogyny, racism, or whatever. You can dress it up in pretty costumes all you like, this show is written like a late Family Guy episode: grotesque, nihilistic, and cynical.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Nice visuals but recycled plot.
Fantastic action and fight scenes with great choreography, but only average if not cliche plot-wise.
The plot is unnecessarily convoluted and dull. It's the same boring fictional political drama carried over from Infinity War, Endgame, Civil War, etc. I'm so tired of superhero movies trying to be political dramas but just end up repeating the same shallow 'social commentary' that's been sanitized and recycled to death in hollywood.
So many subplots and new characters all crammed together that nothing gets the proper development it needs. Often these new concepts are simplified down to just passing lines of dialogue in order to condense things rather than taking time to show us.
For a show so short and almost constantly moving, I found myself checking my phone a lot waiting for things to get interesting again. Frankly, the whole plot surrounding the girl and her terrorist super-soldier group could've been cut. I've seen it before (in the Marvel universe too!) and it brought nothing new to the table.
But where it concerns Bucky and Sam together it's great. All the actors do a great job, and Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie have just as much chemistry on screen as off screen.
If you like Bucky Barnes and like watching Bucky Barnes beating people/things up like I do, then it'll be well worth the watch. If you're just looking for some good action, it'll give you that too.
The Vanished (2020)
Dark comedy?
I feel like this movie wants to be a dark comedy but is afraid to commit to it. The plot is meandering and the characters act in such ridiculous, cliche over the top ways. So many ironic and crazy things happening under the clueless sheriff's nose. It really feels like most of the movie was setting up punchlines that just never delivered. I liked it though. But if you're into serious thrillers or crime dramas this isn't for you.
The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
Disappointment
Coming off the incredible masterpiece that was The Haunting of Hill House, Bly Manor is a huge let down.
Right from the very start Hill House dunks you into the icy cold dreadful atmosphere and ropes you in within only minutes with major creepiness and mystery. It's filled with scares and rich emotion thanks to the great performances of it's actors, great writing, great character development, skillful cinematophragy and set design.
Bly Manor has none of those things.
It takes 30 minutes before even the first scare. And the atmosphere hardly ever feels creepiness or dread or fear. In fact what I felt most of the time was confusion or boredom. Confusion to why the characters seemed so...off. Not off in a spooky way but off as in bad writing or acting. And boredom from predictable, uninteresting characters.
The fact that the children weren't afraid of the spooky events going on killed the mood. And their accents were poor and distracting.
All in all Bly Manor felt like a half-hearted venture.
Knives Out (2019)
Eye Rolling
Wow what a complicated plot for what really amounts to "white people are the devil and brown people are literal angels sent from heaven."
The Last Czars (2019)
Not a good drama nor a good documentary
It's like if Game of Thrones had random interruptions of random people making unnecessary commentary. This show doesn't know whether it wants to be a documentary or a drama, and it doesn't succeed at either. Severely lacking historical accuracy, even some of those most basic things. It lacks any nuanced writing or dialogue, and it's extremely annoying that 5 seconds can't go by without a graphic sex scene or cursing.
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
Mediocre
Nothing new or interesting to be found here. What really grated on my nerves though is the fact that 90% of the time all the ghost did was show up out of nowhere and scream in people's faces. That's it. Was really disappointed because the beginning on the movie had such scary scenes, particularly the car scene, but they just used the same shtick over and over and over. If you're cool with just the standard horror movie then you'll enjoy it, but if you're looking for something new or different don't bother.
Real Cases of Shadow People: The Sarah McCormick Story (2019)
Don't bother watching
This movie is like a 2 hour video of a youtuber's vlog. Majority of the time the characters are on the road or exploring, talking or doing things that have absolutely nothing to do with plot, with what little plot there already is. The last 10 minutes are the only interesting and scary parts but it's nowhere near worth it.
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018)
Lackluster and confusing
The harsh satanic imagery shows us that this show wants to be taken seriously, yet it's writing has the complexity and thoughtfulness of a Disney straight-to-dvd movie.
The show seems to be held back by the need to portray complex situations and characters in black and white terms. This may be due to the writers' political influence which is often blatantly present.
In one episode there is a trial after Father Blackwood accuses Sabrina of backing out with a deal with the devil and he actually argues that because Sabrina was wearing a wedding dress she "consented" to the deal. An obvious allusion to strawman "what was she wearing?" argument in sexual assault cases, completely nonsensical because Father Blackwood had legitimate evidence (Sabrina's name already written in the book of Satan) and no need for such an unbelievable argument.
Harvey's father continuously pressures his son into working and abandoning his passions to near abusive lengths. Instead of developing a nuanced relationship with Harvey and his father, his father is just painted as an evil abusive man. This could have been the perfect chance to portray a parent who so stubbornly believes they know what's best for their child they unintentionally hurt them and draw parallels to Sabrina's own family.
The "witch religion" (whatever it's called, I'll just call it Satanism) is just stereotypical Christianity replaced with Satan instead of Jesus. The religious organizations and its members are portrayed in an extremely negative light; being liars, manipulators, hypocrites who are willing to do awful things. Sabrina's
Aunt Zelda repeatedly rejoices over innocent people's deaths, Satanism literally practices cannibalism. Sabrina is supposed to feel torn between this religion and her human life yet I can't seem to find any reason to stay other than "woah i get cool powers."
The way this is written just seems very immature with it's black and white thinking, rebellion for rebellion's sake attitude, and lack of diverse perspectives.
Hereditary (2018)
I like it but it could have been more.
In the first half of the movie it seems more like a deep family drama with some creepy aspects. It played on emotion and drama so well and actually made the characters worth investing in so that when the terrible things happen it's that more impactful and shocking (which is something that usually gets left behind in horror, which is so refreshing). As the movie draws closer to the end though, that mood seems to get completely thrown out the window in favor of the typical horror cliches. The end feels hastily thrown together leaving one confused and unsatisfied when the movie ends. The story had these great characters but just didn't seem to know what to do with them or where it was even going. It was incredibly frustrating for how emotionally involved I was for these characters to not have any closure but even without closure it has made a lasting impression on me.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Not impressed
Felt like it had the same problems as Captain America: Civil War. Just too much crammed together under an overly complicated plot. No one character or event was able to get enough screen time to make much of a lasting impression, there never felt any sense of urgency to the fact that Thanos was gonna kill half the universe off, it the sequence of the scenes was disorganized. Thanos was a very interesting character and the movie should have been told more from his perspective so we could learn more about him and give the movie more organization.
Black Mountain Side (2014)
Could have been better
This movie had so much going for it but left with an unsatisfying ending.
First, I gotta give props to a horror movie that doesn't rely on jump scares. There's maybe 1 jump scare, if it can even be considered that but the rest is all tension and general creepiness. (Now that I can really respect in an age where people think jump scares are the only form of horror.) Yes, I even thought the deer was creepy, although there could have been more creative thought put into it to make it creepier but the voice for it makes up for that. And I like the lack of music in the movie as well. The stale silence increases the creepiness factor and fits well for an isolated environment like that.
It was an interesting premise, but I had seen something very similar in The Last Winter (2006). But the archaeological site made it stand out from that movie. I wish we got to see more of it and delve deep into the mythology and culture of that area. The beginning was a little slow but the archaeological stuff kept my attention long enough to get into the good stuff.
Finally, the major problem was the ending. The "Deer God's" intentions and motives were very vague but maybe it was just meant to be up for interpretation? But there is no overall feeling of the movie "ending", let alone being wrapped up. We don't get to see if the guy survives or not and that too may be up for interpretation but it just leaves the movie hanging.
Overall: it has all the creepiness and tension I look for in horror movies so it's so unfortunate that the ending is unsatisfying and there's too many things left unanswered. I hate when director's do that; as if leaving things vague and unclear makes your movie "deep" and "thoughtful" but it doesn't. If you're looking for a good horror movie that doesn't rely on jump-scares you'll really enjoy it but the ending may leave you very frustrated.