pabloliveshere Reviews

The Room (2003)

Absolute turd of a film, and not even in a 'so bad it's good' way

[1/10 · 8 April 2018]

Inept rubbish, abominable acting, bizarre timing, awful music, awkward sex scenes, and a horde of hipster losers who think that this is worth recommending to anyone. The director gets the last laugh, especially considering the obvious fact that he's a massive narcissist, and most likely a homosexual alien, parading as a straight human being.

If I want good-crap cinema, I'll watch something with Ben Stiler in it, or the Rock. This is utterly without any point whatsoever.

Even the film that James Franco and Seth Rogan (normally reliable for cheesy crap) made about the actual making of the Room is pointless (The Disaster Artist).

Everything relating to this car-crash is a disaster. Do not waste your time. Don't be a sad hipster.

Mean Streets (1973)

Dead End

[1/10 · 12 January 2018]

I'm going to give this review exactly the amount of time the film deserves, i.e. not much.

I sat through about 40 minutes of this and came to two conclusions - 1, it's boring in a dreary, uneventful way, and 2, the sound design is all over the place, with much of the dialogue lost to music.

I didn't care about any of the characters, and the pool-hall fight sequence was laughably bad in terms of choreography.

This is a classic?!?! What, because it's made by a certain director and stars certain actors?

Twin Peaks (2017)

I like 'weird' but this is...meaningless trash

[1/10 · 1 June 2017]

Where to begin.

Season 3 of Twin Peaks has somehow managed to plum depths of nonsense and monotony that even Season 2 didn't manage.

The twin problems of this new incarnation are summarised by absolutely dreadful acting, and pointless abstract weirdness.

In reality, no human being converses as these characters do, so the potential to be drawn into their lives is completely denied. They are, across the board, wooden and awkward, with some of them being outright 'special'. Many of the 'normal' characters can't even recognise abnormal behaviour in others, leading me to believe that David Lynch has never spent any length of time with other human beings. Here's a simple lesson - if, as a director, you want to achieve effective 'strangeness' you need normality around it to counter and accentuate it.

Long, drawn out scenes where absolutely nothing takes place and the plot is not advanced, are segmented by the ridiculous, patience-testing 'black lodge' scenes from the original seasons, typified by endless, curtained rooms and cryptic, reversed speech. How boring.

It's hard to accept that this is the man responsible for the first season of Twin Peaks, or classic, hypnotic films such as Lost Highway and Mulholand Drive.

This meaningless, rambling shambles is about as poor as anything I've ever viewed on a screen.

Aye, it's really that bad.

Surely there must be some static on somewhere that I can watch instead.

Twin Peaks: Beyond Life and Death (1991) Season 2, Episode 22

Great series...anti-climatic end

[2/10 · 7 February 2016]

What an unimaginative bore of a finale for a drama so full of fascinating characters and skewed, cliff-hanging story-telling.

I can't even begin to make sense of this mess, and I'm frustrated and disappointed, but even more angry that two incredible series could be ended with such a disjointed, confused, not to mention, amateurish wreck.

I yawned throughout the all the curtain-wafting, reversed speech, and appearing and vanishing characters, which lasted for an eternity, in lieu of any actual plot.

It's understandable that there perhaps wasn't much of a budget for the 'black house', but this took the biscuit. By the time the plot-twist occurred back in the real world, I didn't care anymore.

And what about all the story strands left unravelled? Unforgivable.

What a dull, tragic waste of build-up.