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Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars written by algorithm.
I regret finally watching this. It may be the most soulless and tonally jarring movie I've ever watched. 55% of the dialogue is (not-so) witty quips, while the remainder is exposition with catchphrases spouted at random to fill in the gaps. There is an uncanny valley effect seeing characters engaged in "conversation" where everyone seems to respond with pre-programmed comebacks or unrelated narration. The formula here seems to be: fast-paced chases + fast-paced dialogue + callbacks = blockbuster hit! No need for subtle characterization that makes characters feel human (or alien), or building atmosphere with a sense of thematic purpose and letting the audience breathe it in. I know the problem isn't with the franchise itself, because I recently watched creators achieve these things with the Star Wars Visions short films like "The Village Bride" and "The Ninth Jedi", which were a wonder to behold.
Conclusion: There are thousands of movies more worth your time, and plenty of them within the Star Wars universe. Watch those instead.
gen:LOCK (2018)
A fast-paced, stylish mecha show that everyone should watch
Extremely creative and stylish fight scenes fulfill visually on top of a political war narrative that speaks deeply to anyone born in the last 40 years who've only known Forever War. A narrative that echoes the trauma and disillusionment of soldiers, scientists, and civilians in countries who participate in the wars on Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Yemen, and the cold wars against Russia, Venezuela, Nicaragua, Cuba, and more. At it's heart, Gen Lock is a cautionary tale about how fear, lies, and expecting the worst in others, often lead to war and senseless death... but a willingness to see beyond our individuality, to grasp hands with others and act in the interest of something bigger than ourselves, may just be the path to salvation.
Lucky for us, this series gives us an incredibly fun and diverse cast of main and secondary characters to root for as they attempt to cope with the seemingly hopeless dual cataclysms of war and ecological collapse. My personal favorite is the tech-savy and optimistic Cammie McCloud, voiced by Maisie Williams, who often acts as the charmingly sarcastic and foul-mouthed glue of the group. The interplay between all of the main characters is a joy to watch, and I can't recommend it enough.
Station Eleven (2021)
Art has so much meaning it transcends the apocalypse! (Says the self-described artists).
Q: How does one justify living a cushioned life continuing to make cheap entertainment while the world noticeably collapses around you?
A: By making a piece of cheap entertainment, (generously described "art"), all about justifying the value of (cheap) entertainment in a world that has collapsed even more obviously and fantastically.
Station Eleven is an incredibly ham fisted meta-narrative for entertainment creators attempting to reconcile their cozy and less-than-useful roles in a collapsing, capitalist society.
Is there such a thing as a worthwhile and honest exploration of the meaning of art as distraction in a society with much more immediate struggles? Certainly. Such an honest exploration won't be found here, because this story exists to serve the egos of people who see themselves as artists.
There's no reason to explore how non-artists exist in an apocalypse because the people who create these kinds of narratives see themselves as main characters and everyone else exists simply to further their story. There's a scene perfectly emblematic of this where a main character has a passing interaction with a doorman of his wealthy brother's building (the brother is a pulitzer prize winning writer of course *wink*), and the doorman somehow knows the main character's name even though this character never bothers to introduce himself to this inconsequential doorman. One could argue this is sloppy writing, or is it also an accurate reflection of the expectation writers have that the world exists to serve them, while the idea of interacting with or examining these other lives is simply beyond their imagination.
The Great North (2021)
I wanted to like it but I was bored.
Majority of the lines that were meant to be jokes just didn't land for me. I haven't connected with any of the characters, and I'm not surprised that others aren't either. This show is how liberal L. A. writers imagine rural Alaskans to be from their bubble, and it's annoying how out of touch they are, and this is coming from a rural southern socialist.
Life Stinks (1991)
A romanticized view of homelessness that tries to be a romantic comedy.
This movie gets everything wrong about harsh reality of homelessness and poverty. There's a homeless woman character who exists for the sole purpose of being a guide and romantic interest for Mel Brooks. Gross
The idea that he got through the movie without being beaten, harassed, fined, and thrown in jail by the police until he actually assaults someone is maybe the only "funny" feature of this film.
Living on the street isn't just a plateau of slight unpleasantness, it's a snowball of tragedies that get bigger and worse and harder to deal with because you can't afford the basic remedies that everyone else takes for granted. Like stepping on glass but then working 10 hours on your feet and not having the cash to get it treated until it becomes infected and puts you in the hospital for a $30,000 debt. It's an existence that's impossible to escape from, but this movie depicts it as just a mildly unpleasant time outdoors and having to cohabitate with dirty people for while.
Watching this movie was a mildly unpleasant time. Homelessness is unimaginable suffering.
His Dark Materials (2019)
Extremely Cringe YA
Not only is this series full of macguffins like the Elethiometer which arbitrarily shifts the action of the story when needed, but the characters engage in mind numbing expository dialogue to spell out exactly what is going on every step of the way. Often this is in the form of characters talking to themselves/Daemons or having unnaturally expository conversations with people around them. I know the show is meant for a younger audience but plenty of other writers have created for this audience while showing respect for kids/teens' ability to parse things out on their own.
His Dark Materials is paint by numbers YA shlock. This is the kind of series The Simpsons parodied in the episode where a handful of characters formulaically assemble their own YA novel in a cynical "get-rich-quick" scheme. I think it was called "The Trolls of Under-bridge High." Anyways, this show reminded me of that and it made me laugh. Maybe you will too?
The Little Things (2021)
Awful
None of the characters speak or act like human beings, let alone cops. They all talk like actors, and not very good ones. The dialogue is contrived and out of place at every turn, and it makes you keenly aware that you are watching a movie. In the opening they have Denzel's character interact with a bunch of members of the LAPD and it's supposed to give you a sense that there's some history there, but it's done so bluntly it's clearly expository dialogue rather than real conversations. Cringed throughout most of the movie whenever anyone was speaking. A rare poor performance from Rami Malek, and a regularly poor performance from Denzel playing the same character he plays in every movie.
Jungle (2017)
A tedious and self indulgent film about a tedious and self indulgent young man.
"Jungle" continues the trend of survival fetishism started by shows like Bear Grylls' "Man vs Wild". Watch this if you enjoy that sort of thing. The closest thing to a theme in this movie is the questionable jungle guide character Karl ranting about the destructiveness of humans and dwindling beauty of the untamed nature on this planet. This rant however, culminates in the oddly incoherent statement that the solution is " not communism but automation" (this and other scenes in the film feel clearly out of place and inserted at the behest of the producers who wanted to make the film more entertaining or adherent to their world view.) Further, as a Jew myself, I was insulted by the main Jewish protagonist's character arc full of cliches about being god's chosen people and insinuating that he should just have become a wealthy lawyer.
Ad Astra (2019)
Thought provoking. But not entertaining.
Today you probably mindlessly worked an 8hr shift... but have you told your parents, partner, or child that you love them? That is what has become "normal" for many and that is what this movie invites us to question.
If you're looking for space adventure, Ad Astra is not your movie. If you're looking for a deliberately paced film about self-imposed exile and human disconnection via careerism/capitalism and the generational baggage we inherit and pass-on as creatures brought into this world by deeply flawed human beings as parents, then this movie may succeed in making you think about these relationships in ways you haven't before. This movie probably would have worked better as an abstraction like an animated film, because many will watch this and get hung up on the impossible physics or irrational command structure of military organizations.
But if you can ignore those things, and accept the space setting as visual language to convey that feeling of deep disconnect and isolation that many of us have felt at one time or another, then you may get something out of this movie as I did, even if it doesn't entertain you.