Change Your Image
lariuusikartano
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (2019)
Frustration is the quickest path to the dark side.
Jedi: Fallen Order had the potential to easily be one of the best Star Wars-related games to date. Instead, after switching between the Jedi Master and Jedi Knight difficulties and obtaining the platinum trophy, I must say that Respawn somewhat botched their attempt at a Soulslike-game; the game's combat mechanics are frustrating to say the least, meaning enemies whip at you without telegraphing their movements, which makes the game unfairly hard at times (I'm speaking as a Souls games veteran with platinums under my belt), and when you often get swarmed by multiple enemies, having fun with a good and enjoyably challenging SW game becomes but a distant dream of the past. Cal's movement is also really clunky, and that combined with the glitchiness of the environments (especially the sliding platformer sequences) frequently result in you falling to your death, even though you know what you have to do and you THOUGHT you did everything right.
As for the lore side of things, J:FO is pretty good and actually feels like Star Wars. The side characters are not super memorable, and Greez is just the most cliched and unfunny 'funny' sidekick you can think of, but all in all, Jedi: Fallen Order is at times a worthwhile experience for any SW fan. Just be prepared to be constantly more or less frustrated by its subpar game design.
Person of Interest (2011)
Person of Interest is quite exceptional
Too many series, in fact most of those that I've ever seen, go on for too long and eventually go bad. Person of Interest is rather exceptional in that regard, for with its excellent cast, good writing, mostly believable tech jargon (for a layman, mind you), and 5 seasons full of exciting twists and turns, action, and drama, I can recommend this relatively little-known piece of TV (is that the word still in the age of streaming services?) brilliance to pretty much every viewer out there. The 5th season gets pretty silly pretty quickly and feels really rushed compared to the previous ones, but it's not awful by any means, so you can comfortably keep watching till the very end without major disappointments, and remember: You are being watched.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
No rest for the wickedly good original
"The New Nightmare" (I wish I were watching that movie instead of this) is another money-hungry reboot/reimagining/whatever of a classic you cannot possibly outdo, but I guess people will see anything and it pays off, since the turds just keep on coming. The characters in this 2010 version are boring, the scares are weak, and it's missing that one crucial ingredient that made the original Nightmares so tasty - Robert Englund. Oh yes, I would watch any of the original 7 over this hands down. The hideous CGI wall scene at the beginning of this movie sums it up rather nicely: Just bad and completely pointless.
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
Silly
Just silly. The Conjuring 2 is a spectacular example of showing too much and leaving too little to the viewer's imagination. The movie started out very promisingly though, utilizing dark corners and unseen horrors stalking the story's family, only to trip very early on and dispel all the horrifying mystery with bad CGI and "scary" apparitions with yellowish eyes and boring, nextdoor-grandpa lines.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
Effective as a horror movie but faulty
The Conjuring (tDMMDI) is a good horror movie, but whoever was responsible for its sound editing needs to go away from movies permanently, unless it was HBO's streaming service that somehow butchered the sound: I had to constantly switch between its normal "dialogue" volume of about 30 (which is very high for my tv, that is, the base volume of the movie is super low) and its booming "action" volume of about 18, because if I hadn't kept adjusting the volume, I would've had to settle with either not hearing the dialogue or having my neighbors die of heart attacks every time something exciting happened in the movie. I cannot objectively review this movie, so I'll just say that it's a 7/10 as a horror movie and a 3/10 at best as a movie, which kind of ruins the whole package.
Underwater (2020)
Underwhelming
Despite its promising premise, "Underwater" is pretty dumb, generic, and jump scare-y, and that one gods-awful "comedic" sidekick makes it especially painful at times. The movie has one or two pretty effective scenes, the creatures aren't the worst, and it actually picks up a little towards the end, but all in all, with countless better movies floating around the streaming services, one might want to consider it one of the last options for a good movie night.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Entertaining schlock
Godzilla vs. Kong is just as silly as the premise would suggest, but at least they had the balls to go all-in with the creatures and world creation. The human characters are pretty bland and most of the action scenes are somewhat lacking in logic, but I had a good enough time watching it. I'm certainly not gonna return to it any time soon, though.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Zombies and stuff.
An potent cast that the movie has deliberately acting as awkwardly and indifferently as possible. This movie is a gimmick, but it's also pretty harmless, so go ahead and watch it if you've run out of things to watch.
He Never Died (2015)
It's... a movie, I guess.
It's like all the actors are robots who are trying to act like humans and just end up coming across super awkward, emotionless and situation-inappropriate. I suppose it's just entertaining enough to watch through, but not a lot more, you'll definitely find better stuff to watch.
Lords of Chaos (2018)
Everything black metal is not
Have you ever seen a teenage horror movie, something along the lines of Twilight? If you're not a fan of that subgenre, steer clear of this movie. It had some unintentional entertainment value but that's it. When you keep in mind that these guys actually burned down churches and killed people, this movie seems just extremely sad and cheap.